Glimpses of the Ideal: Proverbs 31

********** Start Timer **********

If you would, please turn to Proverbs 31.

-We’re going to be looking at...

…what Kostenberger refers to as...

…An “Old Testament glimpse of the ideal.”

He says, this, in introducing the section:

While the Old Testament historical books bear witness to the increasing deterioration of the observance of God’s plan for marriage, God’s ideal is upheld in the Old Testament wisdom literature....

These passages provide a refreshing counterpoint to the overall pattern of compromise of God’s ideal for marriage presented in the historical and prophetic Old Testament books. — Andreas Kostenberger

And, of course, you’ve probably recognized already...

(by the chapter reference)

…that here, he is referring to the ideal wife.

He says:

This picture is consistent with God’s overall design for women as supportive partners of their husbands — Kostenberger

Remember that foundational text:

Genesis 2:18 (ESV)

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

-But, Kostenberger goes on to...

…give a few important qualifiers:

This picture is consistent with God’s overall design for women as supportive partners of their husbands.

However, this kind of woman clearly breaks the stereotype of a woman who is “confined to the home” or diminished in her personhood.

She is a woman of great resourcefulness who is a source of strength and inestimable blessing to her husband and children. — Kostenberger

Click Off

In other words...

…she certainly isn’t a paradigm for feminism...

…but she isn’t June Cleaver either!

We’ll see those differences very clearly.

(And let’s be reminded that...

…1950’s suburban life is NOT our standard...

…the Word of God ALONE...

…is our standard)

-Also, Kostenberger says:

Some have commented that this woman must have been phenomenal, since on the one hand it is said that she rises early in the morning (Prov. 31:15) and on the other that her lamp does not go out at night (Prov. 31:18)!

When did this woman sleep?

Rather than viewing these qualities as existing in a woman all at one time, depicting a day in the life of the ideal woman, one may view these attributes as having developed over a period of time and as being exhibited in a woman’s life during different occasions and seasons of life. — Kostenberger

Click Off

I think these are good and needful...

…things to keep in mind.

It doesn’t lessen the standard...

But, it does take into account...

…the reality of life in a fallen world!

Well alright, let’s read our text.

Proverbs 31:10–31 (ESV)

10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.

12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.

14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.

15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.

16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.

18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.

19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.

20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.

25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”

30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

Click Off

Pray

-It’s probably worth pointing out to you, that...

…Verses 10-31 are constructed in the Hebrew...

… as an acrostic poem.

In other words, that...

…the first letter of each verse...

…follows the order of the Hebrew alphabet.

Verse 10 begins with Aleph

Verse 11 begins with Bet

Verse 12 with Gimmel

Etc.

That doesn’t (in any way)...

…take away from the authority of the text...

But, it does help to remind us...

…of its genre...

…a genre that tends to...

…deal more in general principles...

…than it does specific promises.

(A lot of false notions have arisen...

…because of a failure to recognize this about proverbs).

For example:

Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)

6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

That’s a generally true principle.

One that you had better hedge your bets on.

But, it isn’t a promise that...

…your children will get saved...

…if you take them to church when they’re young.

That’s all I’m getting at by that statement.

(Click Off)

So, just bear the nature of the genre in mind...

…as we work through it.

-Look at our text.

Verses 10 appears to summarize the whole thing:

Proverbs 31:10 (ESV)

10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

Now, remember that...

“wife”

“woman”

…are the same word in the Hebrew (ishah).

(Some older translations use woman here)

(Context has to determine the proper rendering)

Even if that is the best translation...

…think about what it would be saying...

…about IDEAL womanhood and femininity!

Marriage and Children are simply assumed!

-Now, the author says that...

…this woman is hard to find.

That she’s rare!

More rare than diamonds and rubies.

Why?

Was there a shortage of women in the world...

…in 1,000 B.C.?

It’s because of the KIND of woman she is.

Look at the adjective:

Proverbs 31:10 (ESV)

10 An excellent wife who can find?

-That’s what’s hard to find!

-That’s what’s more rare...

…and more VALUABLE than diamonds!

Some translations render that adjective as:

Virtuous

Capable

Of noble character

(It actually has connotations of POWER)

-Now, Young Men… Pay attention to this.

Is it hard to find a good wife nowadays?

It was hard to find a good wife...

…in the old days too!

(This isn’t just a modern problem)

But it is worth...

The effort

The wait

…to find one!

Why?

Proverbs 31:10 (ESV)

10 ...She is far more precious than jewels.

i.e., money, wealth, success, etc.

-So, what does a woman of superlative value look like?

Well, look at what the Scripture leads off with:

Proverbs 31:11 (ESV)

11 The heart of her husband trusts in her...

She’s faithful

She’s reliable

She’s proven her commitment to her husband...

…and his heart rests in that certainty.

Also, it says:

Proverbs 31:11–12 (ESV)

11 ...he will have no lack of gain.

12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

She is a true helpmeet!

Her aim is to build up her husband!

NOT herself!

Her chief desire is for his prosperity!

NOT her own.

She is his constant and LIFE-LONG...

Advocate

Companion

Can you put a price on that?

-Now, the verses that follow, tell us...

....what that would have looked like...

…in Ancient Palestine:

(It won’t look the same for us...

…but we can derive principles from it)

-First, we see that she is...

Industrious

Hard-Working

Proverbs 31:13 (ESV)

13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.

What’s she doing here?

She’s clothing her family.

How’s she doing it?

Proactively

Diligently

(She’s “seeking out” what she needs to do it with)

(She’s taking that responsibility upon herself)

Making their clothing WILLINGLY!

NOT begrudgingly

She’s happy to serve her family.

Verse 27 describes something similar:

Proverbs 31:27 (ESV)

27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Again, we see...

Diligence

Desire

In some ways...

…this is the antithesis of June Cleaver (as we perceive her).

She’s not...

Sitting around on the phone all day...

…while the kids are at school...

…and the husband is gone to work

Gossiping at the neighbors house.

Watching Soap Operas, etc.

She’s being diligent to...

…cause her household to flourish!

This is probably the idea behind:

Titus 2:4–5 (ESV)

4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,

5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

-Go back to Verses 14-15:

They are very similar.

Proverbs 31:14–15 (ESV)

14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.

15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.

So, before she was clothing her family...

Now, she is feeding them.

And it looks the same way.

She goes out and procures what she needs...

(even at great effort)

…and she sacrifices her OWN rest and well-being...

…to make sure that her entire household...

…has their necessary sustenance.

-Notice something important, here:

Everything about the language of verses 13-15...

…suggests the idea of...

Self-Sacrificial Service

None of it has been presented as...

Easy

Convenient

This is what it looks like, to...

. . . “Love your neighbor as yourself” . . .

…in the context of the home and family.

There’s not really anything radical here.

-Now, Verse 16 does take...

…a bit of a surprising turn:

Proverbs 31:16 (ESV)

16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

What’s she doing, here?

She’s engaging in commerce.

With wisdom and shrewdness...

…she is engaging in the economic sphere...

…FOR the betterment of her family!

Why do I say that?

Because of everything we’ve read already!

She’s not doing this for self-fulfillment.

She’s doing this for...

Her husband

Her children

(Notice that the author began with...

…a description of her duties INSIDE the home first)

(That is her first priority)

(This, is just an extension of that)

-Verses 18-19 are very similar:

Proverbs 31:18–19 (ESV)

18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.

19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.

Again, we see:

Wisdom

Intelligence

Work-Ethic

...To get rich so she can buy a private island...

…where she can go to get away from her kids?

So she can promote and flourish them...

…as well as her husband.

She’s not self-motivated in any of this.

Look at Verse 21:

Proverbs 31:21 (ESV)

21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.

In other words...

…High quality clothing...

…that is very warm!

And, again in Verse 24, we read:

Proverbs 31:24 (ESV)

24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.

Notice, here, how she’s taking something...

…that she has to do for her family anyway...

…and she turning that into...

…a means of supplementing the income of her husband...

…and her family is prospering and flourishing...

...because of it!

There’s some important, practical lessons in that...

…for you young ladies...

…as you consider majors and vocations...

…prior to entering into marriage.

-But watch this (Verse 20)...

She’s industrious and economical...

But she isn’t greedy or selfish:

Proverbs 31:20 (ESV)

20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.

She brings it in...

…and then she sends it out...

…to th in need.

-Now, look back at Verse 17:

Proverbs 31:17 (ESV)

17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.

Think about what this is saying.

It’s not the egalitarian gem...

…that it appears to be at first.

It does have the idea of...

…girding up your loins...

…to engage in hard work.

And, in that...

…it does allude back to...

…her exemplary work-ethic

But, it isn’t saying that...

…she lifts weights and exercises...

…in order to become strong like a man!

For the most part...

That’s NEVER going to happen.

The Scripture states plainly that women are...

1 Peter 3:7 (ESV)

7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, . . .

You see… strength and Masculinity are not the objects:

The prosperity of her husband and children is the object.

Physical strength is a by-product.

But, think about it in the context of...

…the previous Verses in 1 Peter 3:3-6

1 Peter 3:3–6 (ESV)

3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—

4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,

6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Click Off

Peter, and our Proverb...

…are touching on something fundamental here

Before the influence of Christianity on the World...

…Women had much to fear.

They were weak and vulnerable.

Their body was their primary (if not only) asset.

But, a righteous woman...

…didn’t give in to either temptation.

And, I think, in essence...

…this is what Verse 17 is getting at:

Proverbs 31:17 (ESV)

17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.

She isn’t paralyzed by fear and timidity

She isn’t vain and promiscuous

She’s diligent, resolute, and faithful!

Verse 25 puts it like this:

Proverbs 31:25 (ESV)

25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.

That doesn’t mean that...

she’s foolish

she disregards reality.

Verse 26 says:

Proverbs 31:26 (ESV)

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, . . .

She contributes to her family:

Physically

Intellectually

She’s not just a mindless servant.

She is an ASSET to all!

-Now, can this all be abused?

But, look at the preventative in Verse 22.

It indicates to us, that...

…this inner and outer strength...

…has NOT caused her to...

…set aside her femininity!

Proverbs 31:22 (ESV)

22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.

And, the end of Verse 26 says:

Proverbs 31:26 (ESV)

26 ...the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

She’s still very much a lady!

She’s pleasant and well-kempt

She’s respectful, kind, and caring.

She’s feminine...

NOT a feminist!

Being a strong woman...

…doesn’t mean she acts like a man!

The feminists in our day...

…get this woefully wrong.

Femininity isn’t something to be despised...

It’s glorious... and wonderful!

And it is a gift to the whole world!

-In fact, look at the verse that follows verse 23.

Proverbs 31:23 (ESV)

23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.

Why?

Because of HER!

Because of His wife!

She brings him HONOR!

And, look at verse 28:

Proverbs 31:28–29 (ESV)

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

Here’s what they say:

29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”

Ladies, do you want that for a legacy?

Or, do you want pink haired strangers on the internet...

…to be the ones singing your praises?

-Verse 30 is immensely important for us all.

It summarizes the whole thing...

…in one sentence:

Proverbs 31:30–31 (ESV)

30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

She is of inestimable worth and value...

She is PRICELESS...

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

In other words...

Romans 13:7 (ESV)

7 Pay to all what is owed to them . . . respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.

Click Off

Husbands...

Sons...

Daughters...

All of society...

…Don’t you take a godly woman for granted!

You respect her, and honor her!

She is a gift from the Lord!

-Now, let’s make some applications...

…and we’ll be done.

There’s application for us all in this:

Married Women:

Use this text as a means for...

Reflection

Self-Evaluation

Repentance

Striving for Excellence.

This is a glimpse of the ideal.

That’s its purpose.

Married Men:

Don’t use it to criticize your wife.

Use it to...

Make principled self-evaluations.

Guide and Shepherd your wives...

…into Christ-Honoring Lives and Vocations

Train up your daughters...

…into women who fear the Lord!

Un-Married Men:

Use it to...

Know what to look for in a wife!

Un-Married Women:

Use it...

As the basis for your aspirations

To cultivate yourselves for the future

Everyone:

Use it to...

Acknowledge and be grateful for...

…the women in our lives...

…who do Fear the Lord!

They are an inestimable gift.

Let’s Pray