A Home That Is Merciful
Notes
Transcript
Handout
Matthew 5:7
Last week we began a new series on the home entitled “The Truth about a Blessed Home.”
We are looking at five of the Beatitudes in Matthew 5, where Jesus is preaching in His Sermon on the Mount about how you can be blessed.
Last week we looked at A Home that Hungers for Righteousness.
I hope that you have implemented in your home some things that we learned last week!
We saw that we need to make our conversations include God.
That doesn’t happen by accident.
We learned that whether you are going to church should never even be a question!
It should be an absolute, of course we are!
And we learned that if we want our family to hunger and thirst for righteousness we need to be sure that we teach our family that serving God is fun, not a drudgery.
Today we want to look at the next beatitude and see that for our home to be a blessed home, we need to be a Home that Is Merciful.
Can we read it together?
7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
If there ever was a place that needs to exemplify mercy it is the Christian Home.
Again it doesn’t matter if you are married or single, have kids in the home, or not, you have a home, and you want the blessings of God on your home.
And Jesus said that Blessings come from having Mercy.
We need to have mercy in our homes, if we are going to have the kind of homes that please God!
When My Spouse or Children Gets Some Details Wrong when they are telling a story, do I (1) Interrupt them and correct them publically? or (2) Say Nothing and let it go, knowing I’ve done the same?
When My Spouse or Children Keeps making the same mistake over and over again, do I (1) become bitter and angry? (2) Graciously forgive them and pray for them?
When My Spouse or siblings are getting more attention than I think they deserve, do I (1) feel resentful and feel the need to bring them down a notch? or (2) celebrate with them?
When My Spouse or Children says something I don’t understand, do I (1) assume they have the best motivation for doing it? or (2) Question their motivation and think the worst?
Am I more polite with strangers than my own family?
When dealing with a stranger who makes a mistake, we say… “Oh that’s OK…no problem…it was just a mistake!”
But when someone in our own home, and especially behind closed doors, too often we will fly off the handle, and scream and holler.
Too many times we assume the worst about each other, rather than the best.
I heard about a man who came home from work one day and finds his three children outside playing in the mud STILL wearing their pajamas. The door of his wife’s car is open and the front door to the house is standing wide open……and there is no sign of the family dog.
--Entering the house, he finds an even bigger mess. A lamp has been knocked over. In the front room the TV is loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room is covered with toys and various items of clothing.
--In the kitchen, dishes fill the sink, breakfast food is spilled on the counter, the fridge door is open wide, and dog food is spilled all over the floor.
--He quickly heads up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He is worried that she is ill or hurt.
--On his way up the steps he is met with a trickle of water coming out of the upstairs bathroom. Inside the bathroom he can see wet towels stacked high, a mile of wet toilet paper and toothpaste smeared all over the mirror and walls.
--As he rushes into the bedroom he finally finds his wife…..still curled up with her pajamas on and reading a novel. She looks up at him, smiles, and asks him how his day has gone.
--He looks at her bewildered and asks, “What happened here today?” She again smiled and answers, “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day long? Well, today I did not do any of what I normally do, so you could see.”
How many times have I heard of a husband saying those same words!
Men, let me tell you now…that’s foolish!
You don’t know what has been going on that day!
You don’t know what she has had to deal with!
But it’s not just the men!
I have heard of wives complaining about their husbands constantly.
I have heard children yelling and arguing with their siblings over the smallest little things.
What our homes need is to practice mercy!
Let’s look at a few principles from the Word of God about mercy.
I. Why Should We Be Merciful?
I. Why Should We Be Merciful?
Why do I need to be the one to show mercy?
Well because....
A. It Is Required by God
A. It Is Required by God
We are told multiple times that we ought to show mercy and compassion to our fellow man.
In fact Micah says:
8 He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; And what doth the Lord require of thee, But to do justly, and to love mercy, And to walk humbly with thy God?
In the context of this verse’s passage, the Micah is telling the people of Judah that God was not looking for a great sacrifice of rams and or bringing rivers of oil.
He has already told you what He is looking for!
Live the way that you know that He wants you to live!
Now he sums it up, do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly before God.
Showing mercy to our loved ones is required by God.
Secondly…Why should we be merciful? Because...
B. We Are Told to Act Like God
B. We Are Told to Act Like God
The Word Merciful means - Compassionate, benevolently merciful involving thought and action. As referring to believers it occurs only here in Matt. 5:7, It speaks not merely about those who express acts of mercifulness, but who have this attribute as a result of God dwelling in us.
8 The Lord is merciful and gracious, Slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.
God has shown us mercy, so we need to be merciful like Him!
8 The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; Slow to anger, and of great mercy.
As if that isn’t enough, Jesus said...
36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.
Our Father bestows immeasurable mercy to us, we need to extend that to the others around us…otherwise...
C. You Would Be Hypocritical
C. You Would Be Hypocritical
Taking Mercy but not Showing Mercy is Hypocritical.
Go to church, but don’t have mercy in your own home, you are like the Pharisees -
23 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.
A person who is shown great mercy but turns and refuses mercy to another is despicable!
Jesus tells of a man like this in Matthew 18:21-35
21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.
24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.
25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.
28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.
29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.
31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.
32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:
33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?
34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.
35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.
Let’s not be a hypocrite!
Mercy is required by God
We are told to be like God
Otherwise we would be hypocritical,
We know that we ought to show mercy in our homes…So...
II. How Do I Show Mercy at Home?
II. How Do I Show Mercy at Home?
I want to give you just a few practical but important truths that will help you have a blessed home!
Number one we need to...
A. Overlook Irritations & Offenses
A. Overlook Irritations & Offenses
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
We need to not let anger build up by seeing the little irritations and offenses and storing them back in our minds.
There are things we ought to be angry about!
If they do things that cause harm to themselves or others, we ought to be angry…but we do not have to sin in our anger.
Instead we need to just overlook the little things that irritate you.
Someone said the secret to a good marriage is to “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward.”
Be careful to see the whole picture before you marry!
Be picky before marriage!
After marriage is not the time to start picking on the little things.
Everyone you meet will have something that will irritate you, but that is a miserable way to live!
Instead we need to show love...
9 He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; But he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.
When we just overlook the irritation or small offenses we are seeking love in that relationship.
11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; And it is his glory to pass over a transgression.
A man of discretion will defer his anger, that means it prolongs the response.
Then he says, it is his glory to pass it over all together.
I learned recently three questions we ought to ask ourselves if we are feeling anger boiling up:
Why am I angry?
What do I really want?
How can I best get it?
Why am I angry? it is usually not the surface reason.
What do I really want - do I want it my way or do I just want to be show respect or love in the situation.
How can I best get it? Usually not be anger!
15 See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.
Rendering evil for evil…or aggravation for aggravation is not going to help!
Look for the best in people -
when I was teaching I attended a teacher’s in-service training class that was titled are you an eagle or a buzzard.
Buzzards look for dead things (negative things) but eagles look for living things (positive things).
You will find what you are looking for.
If I look for the things the kids did right and praised those I am going to create a better environment, If I am always looking for the bad things they do I am going to create a horrible environment.
So, with our kids, grand kids, spouses, whoever is in our home with us…overlook the irritations and look for the positive!
B. Be Kind, Even If Undeserved
B. Be Kind, Even If Undeserved
After all, mercy is unmerited…always!
How do we deal with people who seem to drain us, by either being difficult or possibly even by demeaning us and making us feel less?
We choose to love!
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Men, we are told in 1 Peter 3:7
7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
That means we need to study them!
We need to see what makes them tick.
And maybe what ticks them off!
Wives - you need to do the same really!
Don’t just assume that he is doing what he is doing just to aggravate you.
He might be…Granddad stirring his ice tea.
We just need to just make the decision to show kindness
Mercy is undeserved…so if God wants us to show mercy it cannot only be when they earn it.
C. Let Go of Past Hurts
C. Let Go of Past Hurts
Every home has past hurts…we are human.
But if we keep a tally, and keep score, everyone loses!
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
That phrase thinketh no evil is literally translated Does not count the bad.
Meaning he doesn’t keep score!
I heard about two men talking and one says, “I can’t do anything without my wife getting all hysterical.” The other man says, “my wife doesn’t get hysterical, she get’s historical. She brings up every time I’ve done something wrong!”
The truth is it can come from both sides, and it can happen in a parent/child relationship too... no matter the age.
There is typically some bitterness when this happens, forgiveness needs to happen, Forgiveness is a commitment that says...
I will not dwell on this incident
I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.
I will not talk to others about this incident.
I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.
Commit to truly forgive past hurts, and move on commit to not use them again!
D. Believe God Is Working on Them.
D. Believe God Is Working on Them.
You say, well I certainly don’t see God working on them!
In 1 Corinthians Paul says that love...
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Trust that God will work on them…you just focus on your part!
You must pray for your family members.
Pray that God will show them how they hurt you, or aggravate you.
Give it to God…but be prepared... it may be that God will show you how you need to change.
One of my wife’s pet peeves, at least in the past, has been having to turning socks right side out…I guess it is so time consuming sometimes.
I always took my socks off wrong side out, because for a while my feet were sweating like crazy - I know that’s exactly what you want to hear from your pastor - but I would get kinda gross.
So when I took my socks off I would pull them off, inverting them so that the inside of the sock would get clean.
When I found out that it was a pet peeve of my wife, and an aggravation, I asked her if she could just leave them wrong side out for me.
I didn’t mind turning them right side out just before I put them on.
It saved our marriage!
But I was the one that needed to change…if I had a good reason for doing what I was doing, I needed to communicate that and take on the extra burden to relieve the aggravation.
Conclusion
Conclusion
Maybe your kids or spouse squeezes toothpaste from the middle of the tube…well there’s no hope for them…no just over look it!
If it bothers you so much you can’t overlook it - Ask God to help them remember, or to help you not get aggravated.
Maybe your brother or sister has an annoying habit - like breathing!
Rather than just arguing about it, ask God to help them or you deal with it.
Maybe your kids take the hair out of the drain in the tub, and set it on the edge of the tub…I know it’s wrong!
But how about we just pick it up and throw it away.
Maybe someone in your home leaves trash sitting by their seat rather than throwing it away…if it’s your child, teach them the right way, otherwise ask God to help them see the importance of keeping the house clean.
Overlook it, be kind anyways, don’t keep bringing it up, and ask God to work on them or you!
I wear socks most of the time in the house…I hate having wet socks…sometimes one of the family members will drop a piece of ice and not pick it up, it melts and I step in it…I can get angry, or I can get a towel and clean it up (or the rest of my sock) and realize that my sock will dry.
It’s not worth causing strife in the home!
Having a blessed home is going to require all people in the home show mercy…and when you do, you will obtain mercy - Both from God and your fellow family members!