The Blessing of Having Kids and the Loss of Infertility

Introduction

As I set out to study for the next two messages in our series on marriage, the home and parenting; I decided to combine two of the messages because in dealing with one, you run the risk of hurting someone who is dealing with the other. And they are both related. Our messages for the rest of the year will take more of a focus on parenting and the children’s responsibilities in the home. But before you can parent you must become a parent. So tonight we are going to look at these two topics from two different passages of scripture: The blessing of having children and the loss of infertility.

Every mothers day, women wake up hopefully to hear “I love you mom” from their children. Maybe you home is like our, the kids will usually get up early and try to cook breakfast for Katy and then clean the house so she can have a good day. Then we come to church on mothers day and there is a prize for the mother with the most kids or the one with a kid whose birthday is closest to hers. Often times sitting in the background are women who would love to be a mother, but haven’t yet or just can’t. We don’t always consider how those women might feel on days like Mother’s day.

So in dealing with the blessing of having children, I do not want to ignore those whom God has chosen at this time not to give children to. There are people who have been in this church who have dealt with this issue and there are people now who have or are dealing with this issue and so we are going to look at both sides of this coin.

The Blessings of Having Children

Society today has drifted away from an understanding of the blessing that having children can be. Especially during the 90’s people used to look down on you if you had more than 2 kids. I don’t think the Millennials and Gen Z quite look at it that way but some of the older generation latched onto that way of thinking. It was as if children were a necessary evil. Think of the motivation that is often behind abortion in our society. Most of the time, abortion is the result of people not valuing the life of this child. They view it as something less than the blessing that it is.

As we get into parenting, you should derive this principle from this chapter: You cannot build or raise your family without God and without doing it God’s way. All your work is in vain if you leave God out of the picture. From this you also see that busyness is not going to make your kids turn out.

It is like trying to stop a sinking ship with scotch tap. You can keep yourself busy patching the hole with the tape, but its going to come undone. You have to do the right things and in this text that right thing is God.

According to vs 2, if raising your kids keeps you so busy that you are constantly worn out at the end of the day; something is wrong. You don’t have to do everything. You don’t have to keep up with the Joneses. They don’t have to do every extra activity out there. God wants his children to experience rest- sleep. There is no point to staying up late and then getting up early every day. Obviously there are seasons where

Psalm 127:3-5 “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: And the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; So are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: They shall not be ashamed, But they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”

heritage- children are an inheritance from God. They are also something we pass down for God. We should desire our kids to carry on a spiritual heritage to another generation. In the church today, there are a lot of kids growing up who reject the heritage of their parents when they become an adult. Usually, this is the result of a flaw in the parenting. Not always because Children have free will, but we shouldn’t think that our parenting has been as perfect as we think it has. None of us are perfect parents, but we can be good parents.

reward- God gives children not as a burden or a punishment, but as a favor. Children can be a blessing when we raise them to be responsible, kind, respectful and godly young adults. In a good home, the children pick up some of the responsibility by doing chores which frees you up to do other things. Children can be loving and encouraging when you are having a bad day if they have been taught to be compassionate. Children can bring you a godly pride when they are taught to achieve their goals in life. And it is a blessing to see your children walking with the Lord, loving him and doing right.

arrows- arrows are something that I send out to do my will. I can’t hit that target over there so I send an arrow in my place. A godly parent can only do so much to serve the Lord, but if they raise their children right; there children can fulfill that vision. Now we want our vision for our children to be God’s vision. I know a lot of people say you should live your life through your kids and I understand where they are coming from, but you should want to see your children used by God in whatever way He wants them to be.

no shame- As our children get older and they are raised right, they will bring honor to their parents.

A question that a lot of people ask and try to answer from this passage is how many children should I have? a lot of people put an emphasis on this word quiver full of them and so they go back to history and find that a quiver often had 4-7 arrows in it. The purpose of this passage is not to tell you how many children you must have, but rather to show that having children is a good thing. God does not dictate how many kids you should have. You will not find a verse telling you what that number is. The purpose of this passage is to challenge us to realize that without God none of this is possible.

The Loss of Infertility

Does all of this mean that those without children are cursed? I could see someone making that jump in reasoning. But that is not the teaching of the passage. According to Wikipedia 1/7 couples struggle with this to some level or another. And it is a real problem that we need to face. The bible is not silent on the topic either. Many great godly people that we know of struggled with infertility. Think of Sarah, Rachel, Hannah, Elizabeth. The bible uses the term barren to refer to this problem. I want us to focus on one story dealing with infertility tonight.

Gen 30:1-5 “And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die. And Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in God’s stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb? And she said, Behold my maid Bilhah, go in unto her; and she shall bear upon my knees, that I may also have children by her. And she gave him Bilhah her handmaid to wife: and Jacob went in unto her. And Bilhah conceived, and bare Jacob a son.”

Infertility can lead us to feel hopeless vs 1

Rachel felt that if she didn’t get what she wanted life wasn’t worth living. She complains to her husband that she has had no children and makes unreasonable demands of him. Jacob can be a husband to her, but he cannot make her get pregnant if God has decided she can’t. But rather than criticize her words, lets look at her heart. Why would Rachel say this?

Rachael feels like their is no hope and she has no value if she doesn’t have children. In those days a woman’s value was very strongly tied to her ability to have children. She could be divorced for being barren. Many viewed them as being a dead weight. I am not saying any of this is right, but these are the thoughts that might have been running through her mind. It has been years now and still no child. Hope is dying. She feels like nothing is every going to change. And so she is willing to give up, to die.

One of the big lies that the enemy wants us to believe, that he wants to trap us in—and I have seen this over and over again in my own life, in my own heart—is the crippling lie that I cannot be satisfied until I get ______(blank). Kristen Clark

In a woman’s heart there is often this natural longing for children. We call this natural affection. And so she feels that she cannot be complete or whole without it. Over time, month after month of not getting pregnant she can begin to lose hope that in her mind she will ever be whole. But the lie of Satan, is that we need something else to make us whole.

He convinces us that other things bring satisfaction in life. If only I were married I would be happy, if only I had this better paying job I would be happy, If only I had a child, I could be happy.

God is working a great plan in our lives and we need to find our satisfaction in Him.

Psalm 42:1-4 “As the hart panteth after the water brooks, So panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my meat day and night, While they continually say unto me, Where is thy God? When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: For I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, With the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.”

Psalm 42:5 “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him For the help of his countenance.”

Jeremiah 31:25 “For I have satiated the weary soul, And I have replenished every sorrowful soul.”

We can find fulfillment when we:

Humbly submit to God’s plans- When we humbly submit to that, then we can embrace what He has for us. We can embrace what’s in front of us.

Trust that God’s plan is good- God knows that true satisfaction can only come from a thriving and genuine relationship with Christ. He knows He will satisfy us in ways that those earthly desires never could

We can find fulfillment by serving God wholeheartedly right now. Matt 6:33 “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Don’t allow your unfulfilled longings to consume your life and wreck your joy.

God has the power over conception vs 2

When I think of this story I can’t help of thinking about the story of Hannah. When Hannah could not have a child what did she do? She prayed. God opens and closes the womb. He creates life. Every birth is an act of God in some way. So when Hannah was faced with an impossible, hopeless situation she prayed to God.

I am not saying that if you will just pray God will give you a child, but we often try so many other things and forget about this. We try timing, medicine, procedures but forget to pray.

Seeking treatment is not a sin just like seeking medicine when you are sick is not a sin. I believe it's totally legitimate for any couple that is having problems conceiving to seek out medical help. While the Bible doesn't specifically mention infertility treatments, it does talk about using medical treatments such as applying bandages (Isa. 1:6), oil (James 5:14), and oil and wine (Luke 10:34). The Bible also tells us that our bodies are God's temples (1 Cor. 3:16) and that we should take care of ourselves. Infertility often can be the symptom of a deeper medical problem, and it's important to get checked for your greater health.

Trust in the one who knits us in the womb Psalm 139:13-15 “For thou hast possessed my reins: Thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Marvellous are thy works; And that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, When I was made in secret, And curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.”

Infertility can be a time of temptation vs 3-5

Whenever people lose hope for any reason, that is a moment when Satan is most successful in tempting us to do something wrong. When we are hungry and haven’t eaten in days, we are tempted to steal. When someone is demanding money and we don’t have it, we are tempted to rob. When there seems to be no way out we take short cuts.

Women who can’t have children might be tempted to think:

there is no hope

She isn’t usable by God

She is worthless

Conclusion

Children are something we should praise God for and every one of them is a blessing. They may not always seem like it in the moment and sometimes it takes work to get there because children by default will be selfish sinful human beings. Only good parenting will get you there, but especially in light of those who haven’t been able to have children, we should count every moment with them as precious.

For those struggling with infertility, please don’t loose hope. Seek God but trust him that whether he gives you a child or not, His plan is good. Find your satisfaction in Him and Trust His plan for your life.