Love. And Costco.

Costco

In preparation for a long weekend, like Labor Day, one has the tendency to find oneself shopping at Costco.

We went to Costco last week. It had been awhile since I’d stepped foot in the super store, but all the memories came back so readily. The parking lot scramble. The “you go, no you go, no you go” dance in claiming a spot. The mad scrum to secure a shopping cart. And then the determined navigation of said shopping cart through 5-lane madness on your way do the fish aisle.

Costco.

I actually really enjoying taking a trip to Costco. I find it can be one of the most clarifying practices to help me become aware of how I view and treat others, strangers, people I don’t know. It’s, on one hand, an opportunity to fade into the crowd. At other times, it feels like we see everyone we know from across Whatcom County, so it’s more of a social experience.

But the most profound way I’ve come to experience the Costco trip has been to see it as an opportunity to love my neighbors.

While most of the time the shoppers at the Bellingham Costco are relatively polite and civil, there is clearly the undercurrent feeling of “I’m here to get in, get what I need, and get out with the least amount of frustration as possible.” I fight that urge in myself. But what I’ve realized is that, practically, if I rush, I’m not going to finish up any faster and I’m probably going to get grumpy. Instead, I turn the time into an opportunity to slow down, breathe, and be kind.

You need that particular cut of meat — take it, I’ll get another.

You need to take your time reading over your list in the middle of the aisle. That’s ok. I can politely pass you without being a jerk about it.

You’re at the checkout and the checker asks you how you’re doing…and instead of blankly replying, you look at them and genuinely respond…and then even ask them how they are and engage in a brief back and forth.

I’m not telling you about my Costco habits to sound virtuous or special. We all know what it’s like to be out and about and get frustrated and wish you could just bulldoze through to the front of the line.

But what I feel, in this practice of slowing down and taking my time, even prayerfully, walking through the superstore, is that it’s one of the most tangible ways I can do what Jesus has taught us to do: love our neighbors.

There are so many times when we are taught or told that the strangers around us are not to be trusted and we should only pay respectful, but distant attention to others. But who is our neighbor, then? Just the people close to us? Just our physical adjacent home owners?

No, everyone we encounter in the world, today, tomorrow, forever — these are your neighbors.

So what does it mean to love your neighbor?

Or maybe we should approach it from another angle.

How do we fulfill God’s law?

Isn’t that something we wonder and hope we can do properly? Honor the Creator of the Universe’s plan for our lives? Walk the path of righteousness that leads to our salvation?

That always seems like such a high, high bar, right? We read through these ancient teachings and think we have to drum up modern examples and prohibitions and develop a pious stance in the world, and then…we’ll be right with God.

But friends, how do we fulfill God’s law, according to our text today?

We love each other.

There’s no spoiler, no secret ending, no bait and switch here. The honoring of God’s way, the living into the Kingdom of God here and now — it requires us to love.

Love one another. Everything else hinges upon it.

Our text speaks with urgency about all we are to leave behind and, I think, we get hung up there sometimes.

Do not commit adultery. Do not murder, do not steal. Don’t covet.

But you’ve heard it said, and we bear hearing it again: all of these prohibitions are about ways we harm and do not love the other.

Betraying our committed relationships is not an act of love. Murdering or even holding another in contempt, these are not acts of love.

Stealing or being jealous about what someone else has; that is not love.

Love releases these desires and instead seeks the well-being of the other, our mutual well-being.

Again, think of our mutual well-being. The giving and receiving of goodness from one another.

Loving others means loving ourselves. Loving others and championing their well-being…it impacts us too. If you are healthy, then I can be healthy too — and vice versa. If you accept me for who I am and love me as I am, I will know that I can trust you, which will remind me that I can love you in return too. And vice versa. It’s always a mutual commitment, a mutual love that seeks the well-being of each other.

No competition. No standings.

The list of prohibitions continues in the second paragraph. But, before I list them, consider hearing them this way: These prohibitions are guards against “not-love.” They remind us of the not-loving nature of what is evil or harmful in the world. When we hear of revelry, we should not disqualify all the good, healthy, loving celebrations and joys we share together. Rather, we should notice that there is a distinction here — sometimes, in our desire to feel or escape or whatnot, we revel in ways that are harmful and not-loving to ourselves and others. Right? So be awake and watchful of that.

But never forget the goodness of the light and what it means to celebrate and cherish the light we see in each other.

Don’t be given over to drunkenness, debauchery, licentiousness, quarreling, or jealousy. This stuff isn’t good for us as we seek to love each other mutually. So, we let go of bickering or grumbling. We let go of wanted to take advantage of physical intimacy to the point of degrading or demeaning another person. We’re not talking about not having sex or physical intimacy here. No, we’re talking about using our bodies and our desires for pleasure in ways that are not loving, not mutual, not consensual or balanced.

Friends, before I make you all uncomfortable by describing the nuances of human sexuality…hear this, we are meant to love each other with our full beings. So we don’t lie to each other, we don’t take advantage of one another, we don’t cheat or steal from one another.

Honestly, we make this seem much more complicated than it really is.

Let’s go back to Costco.

Now, thankfully there are all sorts of social norms that prohibit us from outright stealing from each other in the aisles of Costco. It’s illegal to open up a bottle of prosecco and get drunk in the store. Thankfully, there are not a ton of people who are showing inappropriate public displays of affection, so the debauchery card is usually off the table.

But think about this.

It’s Labor Day weekend. Friday night. You’re running late to a BBQ and there are only a couple more packs of hamburgers left in the frozen food section.

You and another shopper for the same pack in the freezer, the last pack you can see.

You both know that your meal will be incomplete if you don’t get the burgers.

What is love, here?

Friends!! What is love, here and now?

Is it giving the other person the pack of hamburgers? Is it negotiating with them that you’ll split the pack in the parking lot? Is it saying, “hey, I know you from my kid’s school, why doesn’t your family and my family get together tonight and enjoy these together?”

What is love, here?

We make this too complicated. Love can be any and so many more options than these. Love is infinite possibilities, ways we can mutually flourish and live together in peace.

It’s way simpler to say what is not love here, now. Not love is stealing the burgers away first. Not love is throwing a right hook at the other shopper and running away. Not love is resenting them because they actually got there first, grumbling as you walk away.

It’s way simpler to define not-love. And the same is true for how we define obeying God’s law. It’s pretty straightforward to, if we’re at all honest with ourselves, identify times in our days when we choose not love. We do it to others, we do it to ourselves.

I’m not trying to be a downer here. Rather, this is simply acknowledging that sometimes it’s hard to be a decent human being.

We know this and, as Christians, we admit our faults and see the brokenness in others.

But we make it way too complicated when we try to think of solutions and remedies.

Friends, in the way of Jesus, it’s pretty clear what brings life. Love. Not sentimental, not romantic (though that has its place), but just love. Maybe we want to call it kindness. Peacibility.

When we clothe ourselves in Christ…when we put on and walk around in this whole garment of love…we have all that we need. We can act for the mutual good of one another. We can be “in it” for each other, with each other. Not threatened or afraid, but for each other.

What if we let this guide our community? We will have disagreements and differences. We will see the world from different angles, sometimes greatly opposed. We will approach our faith with different lenses, different ways we have seen and encountered God’s love.

But if love is at our center, if the mutual good of one another, of all people…because they all, we all, share the image of our Creator…if this sharing of love is at our center, all of our divisions and hurts and peculiarities, they are all wrapped in the security of faithful love.

One more little thing about Costco.

One of the ways I spend those trips, when I’m trying to slow down and experience my neighbors with love and not frustration — one of the things I do is that I people watch.

Sometimes we see a family or a couple and it’s pretty clear that they’re out for the groceries. Other times, I’ll see someone with a large pallet of food and I’ll wonder at what restaurant or event they’re preparing that for. I’ll notice the pair of 80 year old women who make the Costco trip together to help each other out. Or see the crying toddler with their stay at home parent. Just seeing people.

Sometimes, seeing turns into judgement — oh, I’m glad I’m not like them.

But mostly, seeing turns me out of myself to remember that I am also seen and like these people.

Perhaps it sounds too simple. But what if it’s good news?

What if this simple act of seeing another person for who they are, beloved by God, bearing of God’s image, what if that is our deep, loving act of worship? What if that is what it means to fulfill the law? What if that’s…it?

Love is the fulfilling of the law, God’s law, Christ’s way.