Joel and Rachel Wedding Exhortation

Joel and Rachel, on days like today, I am left pondering what to say to a couple such as yourselves. As I have gotten to know you two, I have admired your resolve to follow Jesus in everything you do, including marriage. I admire that you have a firm grasp on what you think to expect during marriage.

Joel, in the beginning of the Bible in Genesis 2:18-24 God created man, and then this happened:

Genesis 2:18–24 KJV 1900

And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

God knew that Adam would need a helper, “It was not good for him to be alone.” Joel, as I have gotten to know you, I can’t help but hear those words echo, especially as you told me and Chelsea your testimony at the beginning of our meetings. Joel, it is not good for you to be alone. It is not good for you to do things on your own; you need a helper, so here stands Rachel, willing and ready. Joel, you have lived a while doing things by yourself, but now you are entering a season where you will need to be ready to rely on Rachel's thoughts as well as your own. Proverbs describes a wife of noble character in Proverbs 31:10-12 with these words:

Proverbs 31:10–12 KJV 1900

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, So that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil All the days of her life.

Joel, an excellent wife is someone you should be able to trust, and through that well-founded trust, you will not lack, but you will gain.

Rachel, as I have come to know you, I have come to know someone with plans laid out, and ideas set just right. This is not bad. But I can’t help but think of the story of Ruth and Naomi. Naomi is someone that we can see has plans. She leaves Bethlehem with her husband and two sons and moves to Moab. While there, her plans begin to take drastic changes because her Husband and two sons die; she hears that Bethlehem is being blessed again, so she choose to move back with her daughter-in-law Ruth in-tow (albeit stubbornly). In Ruth 1:16-17 we see Ruth say these words

Ruth 1:16–17 KJV 1900

And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.

Ruth recognized the need and the value of putting God first; this is what led her to follow Naomi. What is interesting about Ruth and Naomi, is Naomi almost seems to make decisions based on what makes physical sense (e.g. moving to Moab, then moving back to Bethlehem, then encouraging Ruth to propose to Boaz) while Ruth seems to have attached herself to this idea of following God with everything she has, willingly leaving behind the world she knows to pursue God which leads her right to Boaz, her husband. The exciting part of the story, to me anyway, is God would use this non-Jewish woman to build the lineage of Jesus Christ. What I am trying to say is don’t become so rigid in your plans. God may interrupt those plans to redirect you into something he intended all along. And it might look entirely different than you dreamed.

Joel, I know you recognize Rachel's value and worth as a wife. And Rachel, I know you recognize Joel’s value and worth as a husband. And I know this goes without saying, but don’t go a single day without devotion, prayer and putting God first. I am probably preaching to the Choir when I say this, but the value of a Christ-first life and relationship with each other is more precious than all the wealth you can find in this lifetime.

Joel, Ephesians 5:25-28 says this:

Ephesians 5:25–28 KJV 1900

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

Joel, that passage packs a lot into it. Read the gospels, see what Jesus did for the Church, and then live it out directed at your wife. It is not as simple as waiting for that moment to take a bullet for her. Jesus was there when the church was sick; Jesus wept with her, Jesus wept for her, Jesus fed her, Jesus washed her feet, Jesus fought for her, and Jesus willingly died for her. Joel, to love Rachel like Jesus loved the church brings a responsibility that should not be taken lightly.

Rachel, Ephesians 5:22-24 says:

Ephesians 5:22–24 KJV 1900

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

The word submit is often seen as a dirty word in our culture today. But my mind goes to Esther. Esther was informed of a problem by her uncle Mordecai, and because she was married to the Persian King Xerxes, she knew she had to react in a certain way, but she trusted God, and she trusted her husband, King Xerxes, and by all accounts King Xerxes trusted Esther. Esther, knowing something was not right, went to her husband, and ultimately, they discussed the issue together, and in their cultural context, they solved the issue together.

Rachel, God has called you to submit to Joel as you would to Jesus. Submission in this context doesn’t mean keeping your head down and keeping your mouth shut. I hope your relationship with Jesus involves you going to Jesus and discussing your issues with Jesus, bringing your concerns, worries, and praises. In the same way, you are called to bring your concerns, worries and praises to Joel, even when those concerns or worries and praises involve Joel.

A marriage is a partnership between a couple and God, so Rachel and Joel finally, as Ephesians 5:21 says live your lives reverently

Ephesians 5:21 KJV 1900

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.