Rebukes Rightly

Tough & Tender Love Among Sinner-Saints

9.10.23 [Matthew 18:15-20] River of Life (15th Sunday after Pentecost)

Jude 2 Mercy, peace and love are yours in abundance. Amen.

What does it mean to love someone? It’s a tough question isn’t it? Because our relationship with a person impacts how what love looks, right? Love between a parent and child is different than between a teacher and a student or a husband and wife. And what about love between fellow Christians? That’s what our Gospel text is about. A how-to guide for loving your fellow Christian as God loves you.

I’m guessing you might be wondering if I’m looking at a different text. Nope. Matthew 18:15-20. Despite the prominence of sin in our Gospel text, this is really about tough and tender love for the sinner-saint. Tough and tender love for the sinner-saint does something about sin. Listen to what Jesus says: If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault. Right off the bat, Jesus is recognizing that sin will infiltrate and impact the body of believers. So he calls us to action. Christians don’t just condemn sin as a concept. They are not called to lambaste the world for its wickedness. They deal with sin and sinners individually. Go and show. Tough & tender love is done face to face.

God is serious about sin. From the Garden of Eden, to the wilderness between Egypt and the Promised Land, and in exile in Babylon, God remains patient and long-suffering. But he is never indifferent to sin and sinners. Sinners have earned punishment. (Rom. 6:23) The wages of sin is death. God is serious about sin.

Unfortunately, just because our Heavenly Father is serious about sin, doesn’t mean that we, his children, are. Sometimes we decide it’s not such a big deal. It doesn’t impact our lives. We should just mind our own business. Until of course, it becomes our business. Then we’ll point out how others have wronged us. Then we’ll knock them down a peg or two. And sometimes we even feel good about it. But that isn’t why God called us to individually to deal with sin. It isn’t about making ourselves look or feel better. That is an ungodly motivation.

We don’t deal or not deal with sin because of how it makes us feel. Turning a blind eye to sin might help us maintain some surface-level, pseudo-peace in an important relationship, but a Christian cannot call that tough and tender love. We have to treat sin for what it really is. Not someone else’s business. Not a poor choice. Not a regrettable life decision. The wages of sin is death. God is serious about sin.

So how do we deal with this deadly reality of sin? Christ tells us—directly, individually—that it is your responsibility to seek out the sinner and call them to repentance. When you see the sinful nature winning a battle in the heart and life of your brother or sister, this is your call to action. Sin must be confronted by tough & tender personal love for the sinner-saint. This is how God deals with it.

This is a personal assignment to you from your Lord. To do anything less is to deny his authority, to decide that some of Christ’s words are less important than others. Sin is always an urgent matter. The urgency of Christ’s command stems from the deadly nature of sin. Sin kills because it separates people from God. We try to ignore this ugly truth. We act as if Jesus is only talking about the most flagrant kinds of sin.

We tell ourselves we would rebuke a big sin. We would say something if we saw them openly worshiping a false god, or killing someone, or cheating on their spouse, or stealing something big.

Mentally, we downplay the eternal seriousness of the sins that we do see and hear in our fellow believers. But remember what Jesus says: (Lk 6:45) The mouth speaks what the heart is full of. How then can we pretend it’s not a big deal when we hear believers denying any portion of God’s Word, slandering the Church, mocking those in authority and defying their laws, despising their neighbors, openly lusting after someone they are not married to, belittling their spouse, telling lies, or gossiping.

When we see and hear these kinds of sins, we act as if they aren’t really serious. We tell ourselves they didn’t do anything. We act as if wicked words are harmless. Just talk. We see a brother or sister who is caught up in a cycle of lust, drunkenness, or gluttony and we tell ourselves it’s none of our business. It would be awkward if we said something. After all, we’re not perfect. Who are we to judge?

As a part of the body of Christ, you are involved. Christ commands you to rebuke sin. You are your brother's and sister’s keeper. You are the watchman that God has stationed in that place to speak up.

Your insecurity, your personal guilt or shame doesn’t exempt you either. Many of us feel disqualified from labeling sin, sin, because we are painfully aware of our own past sins. But instead of using this experience to help us speak frankly and specifically, we clam up. You don’t get a pass because of your past sins. Christ didn’t completely pay for your sins with his life so you could use them as a crutch.

The wages of sin is death. We have to see an erring brother or sister as someone who is killing themselves spiritually and eternally. Unrepentant sin destroys lives forever. Unrepentant sin is the Church’s call to action, to bring tough & tender love to the sinner-saint.

Tough love is not the same thing as being a spiritual nark or sin-detective. We are not called to scrutinize everyone’s every single word and action. We must not think we can read people’s hearts. We must not assume we know someone’s true motives. We must not sift people looking for sin. We don’t have to. Sin will expose itself.

And when it does, we need to be obsessed with the win. We want, more than anything, to win back, through the Word, that lost brother or sister. God tells us that the angels in heaven rejoice when a single sinner repents from their sinful ways. When we care about the lost brother or sister, when we are involved, we will too. Because we know what sin does, not just to us, but what it did to the Son of God.

Sin killed our Savior. That’s the heart and core of tough love. That’s why God takes it so seriously. It was because of our sins, and the sins of the whole world, that Christ came to this earth. We have all failed to live up to the standards of the law perfectly. We have sinned in countless ways, some that even we do not recognize. This is why Christ had to come into this world. He said and did what we have not—in order to make us what we were not—righteous.

Each one of us was bought at a price, the precious blood of Jesus Christ. The pain and suffering he endured was tough. Unimaginable agony & sorrow. He was forsaken by his Father. Christ experienced what it was like to be outside of the Father’s love. This is something we don’t wish on anyone—especially our brothers and sisters in Christ. This is why we have to come to the sinner with tough love.

We have to proclaim the Law firmly to show people their need for a Savior. Sometimes it takes more than once. Other times it takes more than one person. Every single time it takes tremendous love. Tough and tender love. When the tough love—the stern preaching of the Law, that says living this way separates you from the love of God—works, the Holy Spirit produces a broken and contrite heart. The sinner who recognizes their guilt cries out for the LORD to have mercy on them. Longing for love—tender, not tough, love. God is that kind of love too.

Christ, who paid the price for our sins, commands us to forgive freely, as he has forgiven us. By God’s undeserved & unconditional love.. We offer that tender love on behalf of our Savior. Knowing our own past sins humbles us as we deal with sinners, but it doesn’t silence the Word of God. God always forgives the broken sinner freely. That’s grace.

But, that doesn’t mean we treat his gracious forgiveness as valueless. It is a priceless treasure, that we freely extend to the repentant. No one can earn forgiveness by repentance, but as the Holy Spirit works a repentant spirit in our hearts, Christ’s sacrifice is applied to our sin. His work atones for our guilt and shame. His blood buys us back. No other blood, no other sacrifice, no other man could do that.

This is the priceless treasure we want to share with all the lost. This is the tough and tender love that every sinner-saint needs. This is why we call the sinner to repentance.

Every believer needs to hear the Law when they sin. They are treating the priceless treasure of forgiveness as worthless. Christ died for sin, why should we live in it any longer? But, our Savior does more than highlight the deadly nature of sin; he points living, struggling saints back to the healing power of the Gospel. This alone “wins our brothers and sisters over”. You and I have been given the great pleasure of being a part of a victorious moment, for eternity. We are not only personally & individually summoned to point out sin, but also to point repentant sinners to their Savior. We get to be an integral part of a moment that causes angels in heaven to celebrate. We celebrate too.

An ambitious church takes her cues from her Christ. We go to seek and save the lost. Our goal is restoration, not retribution. Christ has already made full restitution for all our sins. He calls us to reconcile sinners to him.

And when we feel overwhelmed in our pursuit of the lost we find extra support in the body of believers. We are refreshed and reinvigorated through Word and Sacrament. We are spurred on and encouraged as we gather together with fellow believers who know the eternal consequences of this privilege.

As brothers and sisters in Christ, these people are personally commanded by Christ to pursue you like Christ did. To seek you when you become entranced by sin—to call you to repentance and then to offer you priceless forgiveness from your Savior. And you are called to do the same for them. Christian love means pursuing the lost in our midst with urgency and fervor. Not letting sin slide, constantly calling the lost back to their Savior.That’s what it means to love someone.

Love among Christians is about rebuking one another profitably with the only goal of winning back the lost brother or sister. Love among Christians is about forgiving pricelessly because each of us was purchased with the precious blood of the Lamb. Love among Christians is both tough and tender. AMEN.