09.10.2023 - God's Grace Between Us

Scripture: Matthew 18 15-20

Matthew 18:15–20 NIV

15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. 18 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. 19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

9/10/2023

Order of Service:

Announcements

Kid’s Time

Opening Worship

Prayer Requests

Prayer Song

Pastoral Prayer

Offering (Doxology and Offering Prayer)

Scripture Reading

Sermon

Closing Song

Benediction

Children’s Moment:

https://sermons4kids.com/building_bridges.htm

God's Grace Between Us

Two Kinds of Sin

Sin’s sole purpose is to destroy relationships. We often think first about marriage and family relationships, which are some of our most important relationships. We also have relationships at work, in our community, and at church. We also have relationships with things like our property, the environment, and even our bodies, minds, and emotions. Our entire lives are filled with relationships, and sin exists to destroy it all. Our relationship with God is the only thing that holds it back, so naturally, that is one of the relationships that sin targets the most.

Sin takes many forms. We participate in it in two main ways: doing wrong and failing to do what is right. John Wesley developed three rules for God’s people to follow to help them grow in their faith instead of being destroyed by sin. The first two address those two forms of sin directly. They are:

1) Do no harm.

2) Do all the good you can.

These two rules help us avoid sin- intentional, harmful acts and the sins of omission - the good things we fail to do. If we could defeat sin on our own, these two rules would be enough for us to follow. But this is not so. We are still sinners, living in a broken world. Those two rules show us that there is a path to life, but we cannot get there on our own. We need God’s help getting there. So Wesley developed a third rule.

The third rule has been translated and interpreted in several different ways. The original rule was to “attend to all the ordinances of God.” Some of the more recent teachers have interpreted it as:

3) Stay in love with God.

We cannot fulfill the first and second rules without this third rule. If we break one part of the law, the relationship is broken. However, receiving and giving grace allows us to try again stronger and wiser. God's grace allows us to heal and grow our relationships together.

Do No Harm

I think it is curious that Matthew included this short teaching about confronting sin after Jesus and Peter disagreed about Christ’s mission. Every once in a while, we come across passages like these that applied to the disciples and applied to the early church even more. Between this short teaching and that example of conflict are several other teachings and parables about people in conflict and getting lost.

The unspoken question that this passage addresses is how to deal with sin in the community of God’s people. Jesus led by those previous lessons in Matthew chapter 18 and His actions.

The first line of this passage tells us to go through the following process: “If your brother or sister sins.” Brothers and sisters here are inclusive terms that mean more than biological family. It means church family and all who follow Jesus are brothers and sisters in Christ.

Bible scholars and translators go back and forth about whether it should say “if your brother or sister sins against you.” However, almost all of them think it is implied. We are not out hunting sin in each other’s lives. We are to address it when it happens to us.

Those taught good manners by their elders know we should say “I’m sorry” when we’ve done something wrong. However, this biblical example of confronting others when we have been sinned against is not often taught. Under the guise of the rule to “Do No Harm,” I was taught not to make a scene. For minor things, I was taught to forgive and forget or be more careful next time. On those rare occasions when someone did me wrong in a big way, I was taught to walk away and never go back. Do No Harm. Don’t Make A Scene. Good Manners.

The Biblical way, the Jesus Model, the Way of Grace starts with the victim, not the one who has done wrong. Jesus teaches us to confront those who hurt and sin against us. And He teaches us to do it in a way that does not harm.

We are to go to the person who has sinned against us first in private. Most of our conflicts can be solved in a single conversation because, too often, “we know not what we do,” as Jesus proclaimed from the cross. We sin unintentionally against God and each other, and we cannot repent and change because we don’t even realize we are doing it. When we address these issues of sin in the context of a personal relationship, we avoid doing harm and retaliation - piling sin upon sin. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Two sins do not cancel each other out or make anyone even. It destroys the relationship and allows sin to win.

Do All the Good You Can Do

Most of our conflicts can be solved in a single conversation between the sinner and the one sinned against. It is the same when we sin against God. Most of the time, we can resolve that sin and apply grace and forgiveness by going to Him alone. However, sometimes, we can all be stubborn and refuse to acknowledge our sins to God and each other, even when confronted by the one we’ve hurt. When we cannot achieve relationship repair one-on-one, Jesus teaches us to take someone with us and return to the person who has sinned against us.

It matters who we take when we go back for round two. We often think about mediators, judges, and others like this as people who can stay calm and neutral on the issue, and there is value in those characteristics. Bringing in someone who values the relationship is also essential. When we set our goal to the low mark of helping everyone get what they want out of the situation as best as possible, we often miss the mark of allowing God’s will to be done. Sometimes, there is a world of difference between the two outcomes. If you go back to round two, addressing sin between one another, bring someone who values the relationship and can bring Jesus and His will into the conversation.

📷

Conversation is an important word here. We cannot change each other as much as we would like. Often, we cannot even change ourselves. But God can make those changes in and through us. We make space for Him to do that when we value our relationships and grow them by applying grace through conflict. By mending our broken relationships with grace, we make them three times stronger. Instead of being a point of pain for us, they become milestones and landmarks we can look back upon where God showed up and our relationships with each other grew.

In my experience in church and in the studies I’ve read both from bible times and in the history of the church, revival arrives not just when people are praying but when they begin confessing and apologizing for their sins against each other, allowing those holy relationships between brothers and sisters in Christ to flourish. It takes a lot of courage and faith to get that started, but those relationships are changed forever once it starts. It becomes a permanent part of our history and a foundational part of who we are as a church family.

Stay in Love with God

When we rise to those occasions to give grace to others, forgiving those who have sinned against us, not just by keeping it to ourselves but by finding ways to show we value the relationship, we show we are doing all the good we can. I’m still a work in progress myself. One of the ways I have learned to help start those kinds of conversations is by using four little words:

“I love you and...”

I often feel tempted to use the word ‘but’ instead of ‘and.’ Using ‘and’ means both things are true. Falling back to using the word ‘but’ signals to our brains that whatever negative thing follows cancels out or diminishes the “I love you.” Four little words: “I love you and...” can be the first step to pave the way to building a bridge of grace over any troubled water of sin you face.

The last part of this teaching is often the most difficult. If we are too stubborn to acknowledge our sin against our brother or sister when they come one-on-one and when they return with a mediator, sharing God’s grace and forgiveness with us, then it is to be told to the church. That is when it ceases to be a conversation and becomes an issue of prayer for everyone. Jesus does not teach us to condemn the sinner or pass permanent judgment on them, and this is important to consider because, in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught that we murder with our words when we slander others behind their backs, making us sinners just like them. Instead, we are to treat them as a Gentile, one who does not follow Jesus. Treat them as someone who is lost and needs to be saved. That always leaves room for repentance and a return in the future. It shows love and hope and helps them know what we, as God’s people, have to offer: grace.

📷

The last of Wesley’s general rules was to Stay in Love with God.

But most of our culture has forgotten how to stay in love with anything, let alone God. For us, love comes and goes. There is another interpretation of this rule that may be more articulate, even if it is a little older.

3) Practice the means of grace.

The means of grace are the very things that help us to stay in love with God. They are things like prayer, bible reading, worship, fellowship, serving, and anything else that brings you closer to God. We do not get brownie points with Jesus for doing them. They are fuel for our ministry and food for our relationships.

My devotion to God is not a private thing. It matters whether I pray with God each day or grow in my understanding of His Word. It matters to you when you look for God’s grace in me. It makes all the difference in the world if I choose to live in my sin, allowing it to eat away at my connection to Jesus or allowing His grace to work through me and grow me in His image instead. And it also makes a difference to me whether you are doing that in your life. This teaching is not just for pastors. It is for anyone who follows Jesus because we are all affected by sin and need His grace to grow.

This teaching closes with a reminder that we are in this together with Jesus. Jesus does not just show up anytime two or three are gathered in His name. He shows up when there are two or three sets of opinions or iron sharpening iron, and they all invite Him to lead them to grow beyond themselves... beyond ourselves. Grace flows when we bring our hurts, conflicts, and hesitations to each other in truth and love (remember “I love you and...”) and we invite Jesus to come and lead the way. In those moments, we bind together the things that need to be bound together, and we set loose the things that need to be set loose, and the relationship results of that outpouring of grace change things forever. In those moments, we might truly be the church at our best.

Will you love your brothers and sisters in Christ enough to give them truth and grace?

Will you seek them out to avoid harm and bring a willingness to grow your relationship with God’s grace and direction?

Will you stay in love with God, practicing those means of grace enough so that you come in God’s strength and not rely on yourself?

God loved you enough to come to you first while you were still a sinner. Will you share His example with those in your life?