FATHER / WARRIOR PRIEST AND PROTECTOR
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Families can put curses on their children. In the case of parents or other family members who are practicing occultists or Satan worshipers, the curse may be some form of ritual that prescribes harsh punishment for anyone who leaves the group or reveals its secrets. We're told that members of organized crime take an oath of loyalty and secrecy on pain of death for any violations.
But many other families who have never been involved in any of this still curse their children.
Fathers can curse their children by withholding their blessing or by crippling the children emotionally through abuse or constant criticism. Tell a child often enough that he's worthless and will never amount to anything; it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. He will live up to those expectations, or should I say down.
How many fathers do you know who have blessed their sons?
How many sons would give anything for their father's blessing?
Many nights when I was growing up, I wept for just a little bit of a blessing from my father. I didn't know anything about the Bible. All I wanted was some word of approval from my dad.
If a curse opens a person up to the enemy’s influence, then I believe these kinds of things are curses in the truest sense of the word.
The reason is they have the same effect as a curse. If the person believes the lie contained in the curse-"you're no good," for example-the enemy has gained a foothold in his life from which he can build strongholds built on more lies.
I've mentioned how the deep sense of worthlessness and inferiority I inherited from my upbringing had tremendous repercussions in my life long after I became a Christian. Not only was I terrified almost to the point of paralysis by a fear of rejection and what people would think of me, I also remember other effects. I thought, for instance, that I had to have perfect kids or people would reject me and not like us. Imagine the pressure that put on my kids. The children would say,
"Who cares what people think?" Their dad cared, because I was afraid.
I had to have a new car to feel better about myself. But long after the new-car smell went away, the payments didn't. This stronghold touched every area of my life. But when the truth came, it crumbled like the walls of Jericho.
Breaking the Curse
Spiritual warfare involves men and women on many different levels, but Satan's battle plan includes a special emphasis on adults in their vital roles as parents and spouses. Satan knows that if he can undermine the leaders of families, he undercuts God's plans to demonstrate His love in the special institution He created marriage. Therefore, if you're a husband, a father, a wife, or a mother, this chapter (and the next) are crucial to understanding how you are attacked and how to respond to satanic influences.
A Father's Protection
Bill's experience underscores again that God put a father in the home to be the protector of that home, to shield his wife and children from destructive influences. What we as fathers allow to come into our homes will either have a positive or negative effect on our families. God wants a father to be very sensitive to this so that the atmosphere of his home is conducive to raising children who love Christ and desire to follow Him.
In our home, Marguerite and I were fairly strict with rules - not to be legalistic, but in a sincere desire to nurture our four kids in the things of Christ. They couldn't go a lot of places and do a lot of things other kids could. I asked them later, "Were we too strict?" Their answer was no, be cause they knew we loved them and wanted what was best for them. They didn't always agree with us, but they knew we acted out of love. That was very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to any parent who is reading this.
Even when parents make mistakes and most of us make a lot of them- we will still do a good job if we will cover everything we do with love. Children are resilient, and they will forgive a lot and overlook a lot ifthey know they are loved. Kids need to be loved by their dads. They need to be touched appropriately by their dads.
If a father is so important to the spiritual life of his family, where do you think the enemy will attack to get a family off course? He'll attack the father. I think we have a hint of this in Jesus' description of a strong man under attack:
21 When a strong man armed keepeth his palace, his goods are in peace:
22 But when a stronger than he shall come upon him, and overcome him, he taketh from him all his armour wherein he trusted, and divideth his spoils.
Jesus adds in Mark 3:27
27 No man can enter into a strong man’s house, and spoil his goods, except he will first bind the strong man; and then he will spoil his house.
In order to spoil a home, Satan has to attack and bind the father, the "strong man," and then go after his family. The word goods here can even refer to the wife.
That's why, as I said above, when a family calls me with a child in trouble, I want to talk with the father first. I need to know what shape his spiritual life is in before we can deal with the child. When Dad is in defeat and even bondage, Satan has bound the strong man and is spoiling his house. If we're engaged in spiritual warfare, then the father is to be the warrior-protector of his family.
The issue we're talking about is authority, and another word for authority is protection (see the section on rebellion in chapter 5).
As God's appointed authority in the home, a father who is walking in obedience to the Lord offers spiritual protection to his family.
Father Brings Blessings
The benefits that a godly father brings to his home are enormous. But the principle of spiritual protection does not mean that his children will be perfect or never stray from the path.
A child may willfully remove himself from his father’s protection and rebel, but that's a different story.
How a Father Resists
In other words, nothing is "canned" or automatic in the Christian life.
We know that from the teaching of Scripture and from experience. A father's spiritual protection does not exempt his family from Satan's attacks. We're still in a war with the enemy of our souls. But what a tremendous difference a godly father makes when those attacks come. In the power of the Lord we fathers can resist Satan.
The Example of Job
Consider the example of Job; that's exactly what God asked Satan to do (Job 2:3
3 And the Lord said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? and still he holdeth fast his integrity, although thou movedst me against him, to destroy him without cause.
as He pointed to an example of how a godly father receives from his heavenly Father protection against Satan when he abides in Him. The only way the enemy could bring destructive attacks upon Job asa father was with God's permission. Satan said to God,
10 Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land.
Satan was right. Job was a righteous man, and God delighted in him.
Of course, that's just the beginning of the story. God permitted Satan to bring terrible attacks on Job and his children. Everything fell apart in terms of order and stability in Job's life. Through Job's wife, Satan even tempted him to "curse God and die." What's going on here?
We first need to understand that God did not remove His hedge of protection from around Job. He allowed Satan to fire his flaming missiles at Job and his family, to be sure. And those missiles hit home with destructive force. But the early chapters of Job illustrate a crucial principle of spiritual warfare that we all need to grasp as believers: when the flaming missiles of Satan pass through God's hedge of protection, they cease to be Satan's destructive missiles and become instead the refining fire of God.
Job realized this.
That's why, rather than curse God, Job worshiped Him (Job 1:20-22
20 Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped,
21 And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, And naked shall I return thither: The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.
22 In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.
Isn't that amazing? Job didn't blame God for his calamities, and he didn't acknowledge Satan's involvement at all. What did Job say? "The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LorD" (v. 21).
Job knew that God permitted everything that happened to him for His purposes. Satan doesn’t need permission to attack us when we are out of God’s will. But when walking in obedience and victory, we know that God has power and is protecting and refining us during the tough times. Satan can't lay a finger on us unless God allows it.
The Example of Peter
We have a perfect illustration of this in Luke 22, a chapter alive with demonic activity, by the way. Jesus told His disciple Peter that Satan wanted permission to sift him like wheat (Luke22:31
31 And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:
But Jesus was praying for Peter, that he would come through the temptation victoriously and be a tower of strength to the other disciples Luke22:32
32 But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.
Why did Jesus say this? Because Peter was about to fail miserably, denying the Lord three times. But God drew a line in Peter's life and said to Satan, "You can go this far, but no farther." Think about the difference between Peter and another disciple, Judas. The enemy had Judas so firmly in his grasp that Judas not only denied the Lord but destroyed himself.
Now I realize that God's larger purpose comes into play in Judas's case. His role was prophesied. But Peter sinned grievously, too, in his betrayal of the Messiah, and Peter's remorse was deep. Why didn't he give in to despair and take his life? After all, we know that self-destruction is Satan's ultimate plan for us.
Other than remorse, we're not told what thoughts Peter entertained after his sin. But we know that Jesus was praying for him, that the enemy would not gain the advantage in his life.
The Prayers of Jesus
As He did for Peter, Jesus is praying for us. That ought to be a tremendous encouragement to us fathers, and to every child of God. Today He is praying that we will stand strong. As long as we are walking in purity and obedience to the Lord, Satan still needs His permission to touch us.
That's why I call Luke 22:31-32
"Job statement" in the New Testament.
It's true that Peter failed and had to be restored. Similarly, Job still had some things to learn about God. That's what the remaining chapters of the book of Job are all about. But Peter became the fearless preacher at Pentecost, and God "blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning" (Job 42:12
12 So the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning: for he had fourteen thousand sheep, and six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she asses.
Don't miss the point. There is a vast difference between the temptations that God allows to pass through His hedge of protection, and those that come because a father has opened up himself and his family to the enemy's influence by yielding to sin.
Dad, you have a great responsibility you also have great resources at your disposal.
1 Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
What about Husbands?
We've already said a lot about a man's role as a husband, both directly and by implication. In the next chapter, we will consider how Satan can come against women and the resources they have to resist and stand firm. But before we make this turn, I have another extraordinary testimony of a father who also accepted his responsibility as a husband. We fathers must remember that while godly actions protect our families, especially our children, we also are responsible as husbands to protect our wives. Someone has wisely said, "The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
Mike's action came after his failure and was designed to rebuild his marriage and restore his wife's trust. He had failed morally, and now he repented of his sin. But he also recognized that a spiritual battle (which he had been losing) was at the root of his fall. This led him to draw up a detailed battle plan under the guidance of the Holy Spirit to repair the breach in the walls of his home.
Maintaining Trust
His remarkable story shows God's forgiving and restoring grace in action. Husbands can and must maintain their wives' trust.
His sobbing confession years later of moral failure was the prelude to his finding release from satanic influence through pornography.
...recognized that his marriage lacked the closeness of prior times, but he also felt God giving him "a heightened desire to please my wife." So he began some important rebuilding steps, described in "A Husband's Battle Plan."
"It would have been much easier for us to give up, but our commitment to our covenant with God upheld us during these terrible days,"
"After almost a year of my following these rebuilding steps, my wife's heart began to change and her trust began to rebuild.
"The result was that I received an unexpected gift-my wife's heart was returned to me! I took my wife through the same steps to freedom that Rev. Logan took me through. God delivered her from bitterness and rebellion. I am so grateful to God for my deliverance."
Mike has been delighted to find his wife refreshed and happy in their marriage. "The light is back in my wife's eyes and she is joyful again. By God's grace, I still walk in victory. My wife has a new love for me and increased reliance on God. And our physical relationship has never been closer. We live for Him."
There isn’t anything I can add to that except to praise the Lord!
Granting Freedom
A second way we fathers can be spiritual leaders is to grant our wives freedom in directing the house. Too many of us husbands don't give our wives enough freedom to operate in their world. Generally speaking, a woman enjoys the special elements of having a home. There she builds memories and part of her identity; it's an important part of her world.
Often, she will see things differently in her world than you will. Your view is neither better nor worse than hers, but it is different. You should respect her views and grant her freedom to largely establish the home's feel.
As a husband, be aware of your different expectations, and acknowledge that you may not always have the right perspective. You need your wife's input. Again, sometimes your perspective is not right or wrong compared with your wife's; it's just a matter of preference.
In those cases, we men need to yield at times, both out of love and the recognition that our way is not the only way.
A husband must be sensitive to his wife’s concerns, desires, and ideas. He needs to give his wife more room to move, and to make her world as safe, secure, and functional as possible. Men, we, and our wives have important jobs to do in creating homes of godly influence. Let's do them together, as a team.
A Husband's Battle Plan
Below is the action plan Mike drew up and committed to following after his moral failure. It's a terrific plan, whether a husband has failed his wife or not. This is a great way for a husband to put his love in action and set up barriers to temptation that could lead deep into sexual sin. We commend it to you- not as a temporary "fix," but as a workable, God-honoring daily discipline.
1. Make a vow to your wife that you will share any wrong thinking or action before you go to bed at night (Ephesians 4:26
26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
2. Affirm to your wife, "Now that God has delivered me from bondage, I will still be out from under bondage no matter what happens. Even if something were to happen to you, I will still be free because I now consider myself to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus'" (Romans 6:11
11 Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
3. Purpose to read Scripture daily to your wife from now on (Ephesians 5:26
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
4. Make time with your wife early in the day a daily priority.
5. Commit yourself to a consistent daily quiet time and to spiritual growth.
6. Tell your wife often, "I'm really free." Give her examples of the changes in your life.
7. Write your wife little notes regularly, telling her things like "I'm fine, and I love you." Make sure she understands what "I'm fine" means:
a. The shield of faith is up to reject any wrong thoughts.
b. You are obeying the Holy Spirit's promptings in thoughts and actions.
c. You are not thinking wrong thoughts.
d. You are holding to your vow to share any wrong thoughts or actions with her before bedtime.
e. You are conscientiously looking away from wrong magazines, commercials, immodest dress, or other traps of Satan.
f. You are daily renewing your relationship with Jesus.
8. Keep your relationships formal with other women to protect your marriage.