Teachings on Divorce

Scripture Reading:

Matthew 5:31–32 (CSB)

“It was also said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce. But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

The Debate

Deuteronomy 24:1 (CSB)

“If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house.

Shammai - Conservative

Sexual immorality

Hillel - Liberal

Any offense

Great disparity between ideals and practices in Judaism concerning divorce

It’s easy to see how Hillel won the day over in a culture dominated by men

Later in Matthew we get some further insight into Jesus’ teachings on divorce:

The Pharisees are trying to press Jesus to see whose side he is on

Matthew 19:3–9 (CSB)

Some Pharisees approached him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?”

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that he who created them in the beginning made them male and female, and he also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

“Why then,” they asked him, “did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?”

He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts, but it was not like that from the beginning. I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”

God’s Intention

Jesus points to God’s original intention, divorce was never his intention but it was an allowance

The Message of the Sermon on the Mount: Christian Counter-Culture b. The Pharisees Called Moses’ Provision for Divorce a Command; Jesus Called It a Concession to the Hardness of Human Hearts

He attributed it to the hardness of people’s hearts. In so doing he did not deny that the regulation was from God. He implied, however, that it was not a divine instruction, but only a divine concession to human weakness

God’s intention in marriage is that it might reflect the covenantal love God has for his people

Who knows what ‘covenantal’ means

Paul in Ephesians:

Ephesians 5:31–32 (CSB)

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Hosea:

Summarize story

End of the Bible:

Revelation 19:7–9 (CSB)

Let us be glad, rejoice, and give him glory,

because the marriage of the Lamb has come,

and his bride has prepared herself.

She was given fine linen to wear, bright and pure.

For the fine linen represents the righteous acts of the saints.

Then he said to me, “Write: Blessed are those invited to the marriage feast of the Lamb!” He also said to me, “These words of God are true.”

With marriage pointing to God’s faithful commitment to his people, its no wonder that when a covenant like this is broken it hurts

Divorce Hurts

In his commentary, John Stott puts it like this:

The Message of the Sermon on the Mount: Christian Counter-Culture (6. Christian Righteousness: Faithfulness in Marriage and Honesty in Speech (Matthew 5:31–37))

This is partly because divorce is a controversial and complex subject, but even more because it is a subject which touches people’s emotions at a deep level. There is almost no unhappiness so poignant as the unhappiness of an unhappy marriage, and almost no tragedy so great as the disintegration of what God meant for love and fulfilment into a non-relationship of bitterness, discord and despair.

Divorce is not something unique to our culture, it has existed throughout millennia...

Divorce was a question of religious leaders in Jesus’ time and it is still an issue today

Raise your hand if your parents are divorced or you personally know someone who has been divorced.

Share my story

So in terms of divorce I want to share two quick points:

There are genuine grounds for divorce

Sexual Immorality

Abusive situations

Unequal Yoking

2 Corinthians 6:14–15 (CSB)

Do not be yoked together with those who do not believe. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? What agreement does Christ have with Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

Divorce is not intended by God but it can be used by God

I am able to speak to people who are going through the same pains

My little sisters

More family

What does this mean for us?

Now this is why I love my job, I don’t get to just teach the Bible, but I get to teach it to you guys, High School Students

Now I’m going to take a guess and say that none of you in this room have been divorced yet alone married...

So this means something different to you today than it would to someone who is sitting in the main sanctuary

In that sanctuary I guarantee you that there are people who are divorced, people who are thinking about getting a divorce, and people who are affected by others divorces

Here we can take a couple of steps back and see Jesus’ teaching here as warnings for the future

We want to take to heart what Jesus has to say about the seriousness of marriage

Now we live in a totally different culture than Jesus’ time

Dating was invented during the turn of the 20th century (late 1800s- early 1900s)

How do we live our lives now in a way that reflects Jesus?

The reality is that many of you will get married at some point, what should you guys know now in order to not fall victim to divorce

I want to end today simply sharing 3 things to keep in mind:

Avoid Sexual Immorality

Consider Your Intentions

Guard Your Heart

Avoid Sexual Immorality

This is stated many times throughout scripture:

And I know you talked about it last week with Char

1 Thessalonians 4:3 (CSB)

For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you keep away from sexual immorality,

1 Corinthians 6:18–20 (CSB)

Flee sexual immorality! Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body. Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought at a price. So glorify God with your body.

2 Timothy 2:22 (CSB)

Flee from youthful passions, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Proverbs 7 ~ Read from Bible

If these problems of sexual immorality run wild before marriage, they will not be solved by marriage

They are seeds (weeds) of the heart that will grow and ruin marriages

For your sake, and for the sake of your future spouse, sexual morality must be avoided

Consider Your Intentions

So say you do really like someone: What are your intentions

So many people get themselves in to trouble because they do not have clear intentions in dating

People date because:

It’s fun

They are lonely

Because they are physically attracted to a person

Society puts pressure on them to be in relationships (Through people and media)

But dating as a Christian has to have a clear intent and purpose: Marriage

Dating helps you get to know a person and make a decision on direction

But as a follower of Jesus, we cannot date or be in a relationship with someone without any intention of marrying them

That’s why dating in high school is so hard, because you have to wait

Which means priories are rearranged

Which means temptations come

This is why I really advise people not to date in high school because you are still learning who you are as an individual, you have no idea what you would want in a partner years down the line

Now this is not saying it can’t be done

Jacob and Samm

Tim Keller puts the purpose of marriage in some profound words:

It’s not about pleasure

It’s not about companionship and lonliness

Although these are a part of marriage

This is what he says:

Tim Keller, Meaning of Marriage:

“It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating and to say, “I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that.  I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne.  And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, ‘I always knew you could be like this.  I got a glimpse of it on earth, but now look at you!’”  Each spouse should see the great thing that Jesus is doing in the life of their mate through the Word, the gospel.”

And if you see that in someone, great!

But know in high school it takes lots of time and patience before you can make that move

So if you are dating someone, I’m not saying it can’t work out or that you need to break up

But at the center of the relationship has to be Jesus’s plan for both of you

Are you willing to partner with this person, to be by their side, as you both follow Jesus

Consider your intentions

Guard Your Heart

Again to all of you being in a time before marriage (and divorce) are even on the table, you can be especially vulnerable

You must guard your heart

Proverbs 4:23 (CSB)

Guard your heart above all else,

for it is the source of life.

We must take things slowly and guard intimacy

Physical Intimacy

Emotional Intimacy

Spiritual Intimacy

Or in context

Proverbs 4:20–27 (CSB)

My son, pay attention to my words;

listen closely to my sayings.

Don’t lose sight of them;

keep them within your heart.

For they are life to those who find them,

and health to one’s whole body.

Guard your heart above all else,

for it is the source of life.

Don’t let your mouth speak dishonestly,

and don’t let your lips talk deviously.

Let your eyes look forward;

fix your gaze straight ahead.

Carefully consider the path for your feet,

and all your ways will be established.

Don’t turn to the right or to the left;

keep your feet away from evil.

In the world of dating and relationships, we must:

Proverbs 4:25–27 (CSB)

Let your eyes look forward;

fix your gaze straight ahead.

Carefully consider the path for your feet,

and all your ways will be established.

Don’t turn to the right or to the left;

keep your feet away from evil.

When the time comes Jesus will put people in your life and make it clear

But we shouldn’t be distracted on our way

My own story - distraction

Lamp to Our feet

Matthew 6:31–34 (CSB)

So don’t worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

God will provide your needs

And when that time does come, you continue with your gaze fixed on Jesus, pursuing him together

And this honors God’s original intention in marriage as well as protects you from the devastating effects of divorce later on