Active Listening

INTRODUCTION

James 1:19 “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;”

A relational quality.

Active listening will enhance our interactions with man, and with God.

The New King James Version Chapter 10

39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.”

What is Active Listening?

Benefits of active listening?

~ We can know each other better

~ We can know God better

~ We can lead others to God easier

~ We can become more perfect and complete.

7 Techniques of Active-Listening

Be Fully Present - giving your full attention to the speaker.

Success: Isaiah 6:8–10 “Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” And He said, “Go, and tell this people: ‘Keep on hearing, but do not understand; Keep on seeing, but do not perceive.’ “Make the heart of this people dull, And their ears heavy, And shut their eyes; Lest they see with their eyes, And hear with their ears, And understand with their heart, And return and be healed.””

Failure: Matthew 9:27–31 “When Jesus departed from there, two blind men followed Him, crying out and saying, “Son of David, have mercy on us!” And when He had come into the house, the blind men came to Him. And Jesus said to them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” They said to Him, “Yes, Lord.” Then He touched their eyes, saying, “According to your faith let it be to you.” And their eyes were opened. And Jesus sternly warned them, saying, “See that no one knows it.” But when they had departed, they spread the news about Him in all that country.”

Our Challenge: To pay close attention to those I converse with, and allow them the respect they deserve.

When we pay full attention to the conversation, we tend not to forget important things, as well as we build reliance with the other person.

Pay Attention to Non-Verbal Cues - 65% of a person's communication is unspoken. Paying attention to these nonverbal cues can tell you a lot about the person and what they are trying to say.

Success: 2 Sam 15:30 “So David went up by the Ascent of the Mount of Olives, and wept as he went up; and he had his head covered and went barefoot. And all the people who were with him covered their heads and went up, weeping as they went up.”

Failure: Lk 10:40 “But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.””

Our Challenge: Try not to allow our actions to discredit our words, we need to be aware of the manner in which I approach God, and others.

Keep Good Eye Contact

Success: Acts 3:1-5 “Now Peter and John went up together to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. And a certain man lame from his mother’s womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, to ask alms from those who entered the temple; who, seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, asked for alms. And fixing his eyes on him, with John, Peter said, “Look at us.” So he gave them his attention, expecting to receive something from them.”

Why did Peter want him the lame man to look at him?

Failure: Mt 14:28-30 “And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!””

Our challenge:

Show the person I am listening intently, I need to allow proper amount of eye contact.

Heb 12:1-2 “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Ask Open-Ended Questions (Important for Bible study, and personal evangelism).

What is the benefit to ask questions during a conversation?

Success: Acts 2:37 “Now when they heard this, they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Men and brethren, what shall we do?””

Failure: Acts 24:24-25 “And after some days, when Felix came with his wife Drusilla, who was Jewish, he sent for Paul and heard him concerning the faith in Christ. Now as he reasoned about righteousness, self-control, and the judgment to come, Felix was afraid and answered, “Go away for now; when I have a convenient time I will call for you.””

What caused Felix not to ask any questions?

Our Challenge:

In order to understand others better, maybe I need more information, I need to ask good questions. Same goes with my relationship with God.

Mt 7:7-8 ““Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”

1 Jn 5:14-15 -Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.”

Reflect What You Hear

Success: 1 Samuel 1:16–17 “Do not consider your maidservant a wicked woman, for out of the abundance of my complaint and grief I have spoken until now.” Then Eli answered and said, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition which you have asked of Him.””

Failure: 1 Samuel 1:8 “Then Elkanah her husband said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? And why is your heart grieved? Am I not better to you than ten sons?””

Our Challenge: I must put others first, and being able to show them I know exactly what they’ve said will give them confidence and trust in me.

Be Patient -it allows the other person to speak without interruption. It also gives them the time to say what they are thinking without having you try to finish their sentences for them.

Success: Daniel 2:24–26 “Therefore Daniel went to Arioch, whom the king had appointed to destroy the wise men of Babylon. He went and said thus to him: “Do not destroy the wise men of Babylon; take me before the king, and I will tell the king the interpretation.” Then Arioch quickly brought Daniel before the king, and said thus to him, “I have found a man of the captives of Judah, who will make known to the king the interpretation.” The king answered and said to Daniel, whose name was Belteshazzar, “Are you able to make known to me the dream which I have seen, and its interpretation?””

Failure: Acts 23:1–3 “Then Paul, looking earnestly at the council, said, “Men and brethren, I have lived in all good conscience before God until this day.” And the high priest Ananias commanded those who stood by him to strike him on the mouth. Then Paul said to him, “God will strike you, you whitewashed wall! For you sit to judge me according to the law, and do you command me to be struck contrary to the law?””

Our Challenge: People have the freedom of speech. I need to allow people to freely speak, even if I disagree with what is said. (Prov 26:4)

Withhold Judgement

Success: Acts 9:27 “But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. And he declared to them how he had seen the Lord on the road, and that He had spoken to him, and how he had preached boldly at Damascus in the name of Jesus.”

Failure: Acts 9:26 “And when Saul had come to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples; but they were all afraid of him, and did not believe that he was a disciple.”

Our Challenge: I need to be open to hearing those who may have issues, so they may allow me to help them resolve those.

Every person has issues of their own, some we may view in disgust, Christians need to make themselves vulnerable to those needing help, so those individuals will open up

CONCLUSION