FORGIVENESS

Every one of us has had to seek forgiveness at some point in our lives because of our mistakes.

While we are eager to receive forgiveness, we find it hard to forgive someone who has wronged us.

God commands us to forgive others unconditionally because He has done the same for us. When we forgive, our relationships are restored, and we bring healing to our lives.

GOALS

At the conclusion of this lesson, group members should:

Recognize their need to receive forgiveness. Seek to forgive others unconditionally. Understand that forgiveness is only possible through Christ.

OUTLINE

1. Our Need to Receive Forgiveness Personally Spiritually

Our Need to Give Forgiveness

Because God Calls Us to Forgive \

Because Forgiveness Brings Healing

Because God Enables Us to Forgive Our Way to Obtain Forgiveness

From God Through Christ

tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Introduction

We have a tendency when we hear a Bible truth to think of other people. Sometimes we think, This would be really good for my spouse (or friend or coworker or...) to hear. But today's study applies to every single person.

All of us have times in our lives when we have been wronged, so all of us have times when we need to forgive.

Forgiving another person can be hard. Sometimes it seems impossible.

But if we are going to live a life without ongoing conflict and not be eaten up by bitterness, we have to learn to forgive. This is why in our text God admonishes us to "forgive one another."

To forgive is "to pardon or show undeserved favor to the person who has wronged you." Someone once said, "Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me."

In today's study, we consider the importance of living a life that is reconciled--with God and with one another. And we learn that forgiveness is a vital component of this life.

Our lives are too short to live with unresolved bitterness. Consider a few effects of an unforgiving heart:

What negative "side effects" have you observed in the lives of people (or your own) who become consumed with bitterness?

Bringing anger and bitterness into other relationships and new experiences Loss of joy in the present Depression or anxiety Lack of meaning or purpose in life Loss of valuable and enriching connectedness with others Some people carry hurt and unforgiveness all the way to the grave. The story is told of an elderly lady who never married. She requested that at her funeral there be no male pallbearers. In her handwritten note she said, "They wouldn't take me out while I was living, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."1

The only alternative to the bondage of bitterness is to practice forgiveness.

Slide 1

1. Our Need to Receive Forgiveness

Learning to forgive begins with recognizing that we are all in need of forgiveness ourselves.

Haven't we all done wrong to someone before and had need for forgiveness?

Personally

Slide 1A

Each of us needs to receive forgiveness because we all transgress.

Sometimes we hold on to the hidden sin of bitterness. Verse 31 speaks of putting away "all bitterness." Sometimes we hold on to our hurt but hide the bitterness we feel. At these times, bitterness becomes a stronghold in our lives-an area in which Satan can bring destruction.

Christian counselor Jay Adams wrote, "Anger may be handled wrongly in either one of two ways: blowing up or clamming up."

We do not only need forgiveness for hidden sins but also forgiveness for hateful sins. Have we not sometimes been the ones who spoke angry, hurtful words to others?

Verse 31 of our text lists several manifestations of the anger we show others:

Wrath refers to "passion, heat or fierce rage." Anger suggests "blowing up, violent emotion." Benjamin Franklin said, "Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one." Clamour is "a loud, noisy complaint." You might think of someone who takes to social media to air their grievances against others. Evil speaking refers to "slander."

Whether it is a hidden bitterness in our hearts or a hateful anger toward others, we are all guilty and are all in need of forgiveness.

Once, a woman was summoned for jury duty. She said to the judge, "Your Honor, I can't serve on a jury. I don't believe in capital punishment." The judge said, "Ma'am, this isn't a capital charge so that doesn't matter. This is a case where a husband emptied out the wife's savings account of $14,000 to take a three-day weekend with his girlfriend in Atlantic City." The woman said, "Okay, I'll serve. And I could be wrong about capital punishment."

Personally

Spiritually

But it is not just forgiveness from one another that we need. More than personal forgiveness, we need spiritual forgiveness. We don't only need to be reconciled to one another; we also need to be reconciled to God.

Our sins-not just the sins listed here in Ephesians 4, but any way in which we have broken God's law have separated us from God.

Romans 3:23

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Romans 5:10

For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being rec-onciled, we shall be saved by his life.

To be reconciled is "to be called back to union or friendship." It is "to be brought into friendship from a state of disagreement or enmity." We are reconciled to God when we acknowledge our sin and receive His forgiveness.

Suggestion

This particular study has a heavy emphasis on salvation, both in this subpoint and throughout point 3, making it ideal for a week when you are likely to have unsaved guests. If you are leading a smaller group and already know that everyone present has a testimony of salvation, consider emphasizing gratitude for our salvation and the need to share the gospel. In either case, it is a good opportunity to remind your group of the significance of their salvation. And who knows but that someone who made a previous confession of faith may realize, as they hear a clear gospel presentation, that they had not fully understood it previously.

If you have already trusted Christ as your Saviour, thank Him for the joy of being reconciled to Him.

And realize that it is now your privilege to share the good news of how to be reconciled to God with others.

2 Corinthians 5:19-20

To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. 20 Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God.

1. Our Need to Receive Forgiveness

2. Our Need To Give Forgiveness

Slide 2

All of us want to receive forgiveness, but we're not always as willing to give forgiveness.

A woman was bitten by a rabid dog, and it looked like she was going to die from rabies. The doctor told her to put her final affairs in order. The woman took a pen and paper and began writing furiously. In fact, she wrote and wrote and wrote. Finally, the doctor said, "That sure is a long will you're making." She snorted, "Will, nothing! I'm making a list of all the people I'm going to bite!"

It is our nature to want to get even with others when they wrong us. But God calls us to a better way-forgiveness.

Why should we forgive?

Because God Calls Us to Forgive

We need to forgive others because God has commanded us to do so. The word forgiving in verse 32 means "to give grace, or to pardon."

We are either scorekeepers or grace givers. We

14 Highlighters-

either remember the wrong that others do to us, holding it against them for the future, or we extend grace to them when they wrong us. God tells us to trust Him to be the judge.

Romans 12:19, 21

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. 21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

Vengeance belongs to God, and He can settle the score much better than we can.

Forgiveness sets us on the path to liberty. When you forgive, you set two people free one of them is you. But if you hold on to feelings of bitterness, you become the captive of those very emotions.

Slide 2A Chart

The apostle Peter once asked Jesus how often he should forgive someone who wronged him. Given that the Jewish tradition was to forgive three times, Peter must have thought that his offer to forgive seven times was going above and beyond.

Matthew 18:21-22

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

But Jesus replied that he ought not just to forgive seven times but "seventy times seven"_

- infinitely.

Jesus was telling Peter, "Forget keeping score; just forgive."

Because God Calls Us to Forgive

Because Forgiveness Brings Healing

Slide 2B

We need to forgive not only because it is commanded, but also because of the good it brings us. Forgiving heals us from past hurt and frees us from the bondage of bitterness.

Think about Joseph in the Old Testament. His father Jacob favored him and gave him a coat of many colors. The favoritism provoked jealousy in his brothers, and they literally sold him into slavery and faked his death to keep their father from knowing what they had done. Over the next thirteen years, Joseph suffered greatly because of their betrayal, but he chose the path of forgiveness as he trusted God to fulfill His will.

God's grace was upon Joseph, and he eventually rose to power in Egypt. When famine struck Israel, Joseph's brothers had to go to Egypt to look for food. Not only did Joseph show them kindness, but he also sent his brothers back to his father to bring the entire family to Egypt where they would not starve.

When Joseph's father eventually died, the brothers became afraid that Joseph would now exact revenge upon them, and they pleaded for his forgiveness. His answer to them is so full of God's grace.

Genesis 50:16, 17, 20

And they sent a messenger unto Joseph, saying, Thy father did command before he died, saying, 17 so shall ye say unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin; for they did unto thee evil: and now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him. 20 But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

Joseph's brothers fractured their family relationship by their evil deed of jealousy. This led to a rift between the brothers, but when Joseph chose to forgive, he brought unity and healing to the family.

Forgiveness brings physical, emotional, and relational benefits in our lives as well.

Some of these benefits include the following:

What positive "side effects" have you noticed in your own life when you chose to forgive someone?

• Healthier relationships

• Improved mental health

• Less anxiety, stress, and hostility

. Lower blood pressure

• Fewer symptoms of depression

• A stronger immune system

• Improved heart health

• Improved self-esteem

Even when we recognize these benefits, however, we can't forgive in our own strength. Forgiveness may benefit us, but we need divine enabling to grant it.

Because God Calls Us to Forgive

Because Forgiveness Brings Healing

Because God Enables Us to Forgive

slide 2C

Verse 32 speaks of "forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Notice that God forgives us on the merit of His Son's shed blood, not because we deserve it. Similarly, He wants us to be Christ-like in our attitude toward forgiving. We are to forgive others because we ourselves have been forgiven by Christ, even though we do not deserve it.

Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones said, "Whenever I see myself before God and realize something of what my blessed Lord has done for me at Calvary, I am ready to forgive anybody anything. I cannot withhold it. I do not even want to withhold it"

1 John 2:12

I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for his name's sake.

Is there someone you need to forgive today?

There is power in the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ to set you free from bitterness and enable you to forgive.

All of us need to receive forgiveness, but perhaps some of us need to learn to let go of our burden of bitterness and give it to the Lord.