The Example of Christ (1 Peter 3:1–6)

Just us Jesus was submissive and obedient to God’s will, so a Christian husband and wife should follow His example. Much of our learning in life comes by way of imitation. If we imitate the best models, we will become better people and better achievers; but if we imitate the wrong models, it will cripple our lives and possibly ruin our characters. The “role models” that we follow influence us in every area of life. When Christian couples try to imitate the world and get their standards from Hollywood instead of from heaven, there will be trouble in the home. But if both partners will imitate Jesus Christ in His submission and obedience, and His desire to serve others, then there will be triumph and joy in the home. We cannot follow Christ’s example unless we first know Him as our Saviour, and then submit to Him as our Lord.

God has a place for everything; He has ordained various levels of authority (see 1 Peter 2:13–14). He has ordained that the husband be the head of the home (Eph. 5:21ff) and that, as he submits to Christ, his wife should submit to him. Headship is not dictatorship, but the loving exercise of divine authority under the lordship of Jesus Christ.

Peter gave three reasons why a Christian wife should submit to her husband, even if the husband (as in this case) is not saved.

I. Submission is an obligation (v. 1a).

1a. Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word,

A. God has commanded it.

In His wisdom, He knows that this is the best arrangement for a happy, fulfilling marriage. Subjection does not mean that the wife is inferior to the husband. In fact, in 1 Peter 3:7, Peter made it clear that the husband and wife are “heirs together.”

The man and woman are made by the same Creator out of the same basic material, and both are made in God’s image. God gave dominion to both Adam and Eve (Gen. 1:28), and in Jesus Christ Christian mates are one.

B. Submission has to do with order and authority, not evaluation.

For example, The buck private in the army may be a better person than the five-star general, but he is still a buck private. Even Christ Himself became a servant and submitted to God’s will. There is nothing degrading about submitting to authority or accepting God’s order. If anything, it is the first step toward fulfillment. And Ephesians 5:21 makes it clear that both husband and wife must first be submitted to Jesus Christ.

Husbands and wives must be partners, not competitors. After the wedding ceremony it’s no longer mine or yours, but ours.” This explains why Christians must always marry other Christians, for a believer cannot enter into any kind of deep “oneness” with an unbeliever (2 Cor. 6:14–18).

II. Submission is an opportunity (vv. 1b–2).

1b they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

A. An opportunity for what?

To win an unsaved husband to Christ. God not only commands submission, but He uses it as a powerful spiritual influence in a home. This does not mean that a Christian wife “gives in” to her unsaved husband in order to subtly manipulate him and get him to do what she desires.

An unsaved husband will not be converted by preaching or nagging in the home. The phrase “without the word” does not mean “without the Word of God,” because salvation comes through the Word (John 5:24). It means “without talk, without a lot of speaking.” Christian wives who preach at their husbands only drive them farther from the Lord.

B. It’s the character and conduct of the wife that will win the lost husband.

It’s not arguments, but attitudes such as submission, understanding, love, kindness, patience. These qualities are not manufactured; they are the fruit of the Spirit that come when we are submitted to Christ and to one another. A Christian wife with “purity and reverence” will reveal in her life “the praises” of God (1 Peter 2:9) and influence her husband to trust Christ.

In a Christian home, we must minister to each other. A Christian husband must minister to his wife and help to “beautify her” in the Lord (Eph. 5:25–30). A Christian wife must encourage her husband and help him grow strong in the Lord. Parents must seek to maintain an atmosphere of spiritual excitement and growth in the home. If there are unsaved children or other people in the home, they will be won to Christ more by what they see in our lives and relationships than by what they hear in our witness.

III. Submission is an ornament (vv. 3–6).

3. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

A. Peter warned the Christian wife not to major on external decorations but on internal character.

A Christian wife with an unsaved husband might think that she must imitate the world if she is going to win her mate; but just the opposite is true. Glamour is artificial and external; true beauty is real and internal. Glamour is something a person can put on and take off, but true beauty is always present. Glamour is corruptible; it decays and fades. True beauty from the heart grows more wonderful as the years pass.

A Christian woman who cultivates the beauty of the inner person will not have to depend on cheap externals. God is concerned about values, not prices. Any husband is proud of a wife who is attractive, but that beauty must come from the heart, not the store.

B. Peter closed this section by pointing to Sarah as an example of a godly, submissive wife.

Christian wives today would probably embarrass their husbands if they called them “lord,” but their attitudes ought to be such that they could call them “lord” and people would believe it. Sarah recognized him as the leader and head of their household.

Like other holy women of the past, Sarah put her hope in God. This kind of conduct gives women the spiritual heritage of Sarah. Peter was not suggesting that wives submit and obey in the same way as children. Wives are to follow their husbands’ leadership, and husbands should not bully or forced their wives into this behavior