The 5 Masculine Instincts - Lesson 5

2 Samuel 12:1–5 KJV (WS)

1 And the Lord sent Nathan unto David. And he came unto him, and said unto him, There were two men in one city; the one rich, and the other poor. 2 The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds: 3 But the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his children; it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter. 4 And there came a traveller unto the rich man, and he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd, to dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him; but took the poor man's lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him. 5 And David's anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, As the Lord liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die:

Introduction

A man who lies to himself, and believes his own lies, becomes unable to recognize truth, either in himself or in anyone else, and he ends up losing respect for himself an for others. When he has no respect for anyone, he can no longer love, and, in order to divert himself, having no love in him, he yields to his impulses, indulges in the lowest forms of pleasure, and behaves in the end like an animal. And it all comes from lying.

On the south side of the White House lawn stood the Jackson Magnolia, the oldest tree on the property.

Planted in 1828, it provided shade for 38 presidents.

Named after it’s planter, Andrew Jackson, the tree had earned a respected place in White House history.

The election of 1828 that ushered Jackson into the White House was as contentious as any modern election.

Jackson had been barraged with accusations that his wife had been unfaithful to him and he should resign.

Ultimately Jackson prevailed, but at deep cost.

Jackson’s wife Rachel had been at the center of many of the attacks.

During the campaign Andrew and Rachel’s adopted son contracted tuberculosis and died.

Just days before the inauguration, having suffered deep depression, Rachel had a massive heart attack and died.

When Jackson moved into the White House as a widower, he unpacked a fresh cutting from one of the magnolias from his Nashville home.

He planted just outside the south entrance as a memorial to his wife.

The tree was featured on White House cards, dinner china, even a printing of the $20 bill.

Imagine people’s reactions then when news began to break that the Jackson Magnolia was scheduled to be cut by the Trump administration.

From the public’s perspective, the tree appeared grand.

It stood 3 stories tall.

It produced polished leaves with thick pearl-like petals.

It was a symbol of nobility and perseverance.

The thought of chainsaws biting into it was unimaginable to historians and tourists alike.

The Jackson Magnolia was not what it appeared to be.

The tree was a facade.

It was barely even a tree at all.

An elaborate system of hidden cables and structural supports had kept the tree from collapsing for decades.

Though it seemed to be as impressive as ever, in reality it was nothing more than a thin veneer of bark held up by steel.

The tree was becoming too big of a safety risk.

The cables were pulling through what little wood there was left.

An arborist had determined that the tree was missing 75% of its structural integrity.

No matter how much more they tried to prop it up or tie it down, the tree lacked the integrity to keep standing.

Its appearance was not its truth, the integrity of the tree had been compromised.

You are the Man

Nathan had done what for decades David had managed to evade.

The complexity of David’s divided life, private and public, had finally collapsed into a single moment of truth.

Nathan’s revelation left no room for pretending.

The reputation of David collapsed with the truth of David.

For so long, he had lived two lives, the prestigious and lavish trappings of his royal palace secured by his heroic reputation for God’s anointing.

In the shadows of that same palace, kept neatly from view were David’s lapses of lust, murder, jealousy, prejudice, and desperation.

It should be no great shock that a king or political figure would be found guilty of trying to manipulate his public image.

The staggering depth of the gulf between David’s public reputation and private truth was maintained at the cost of life.

Deception always feeds off of true life, hollowing it out and starving it of courage.

How could David not sense the coming collapse?

How could David how could David hold together two worlds so radically opposed to one another for so long?

No amount of power or control could ultimately gild over the hollowness of his soul.

He was finally exposed.

Why did it have to come to the point of taking Bathsheba?

Why did he feel compelled to assassinate her husband, Uriah?

Did he really have the naivety to believe he had gotten away with it?

Was it really so easy for him to put it out of his mind?

To go on writing psalms...

Offering sacrifices...

acting unaffected by it all.

What is really shocking about Nathan’s confrontation is how obvious the whole setup had been.

Nathan had found an audience under the guise of an injustice that needed David’s judgment.

The story went, a rich man with many sheep had visitors to feed.

Unwilling to dip into his own resources, he instead stole the single lamb of his poorest neighbor.

He butchered it and served it at his banquet.

The man had stolen what was not his and further impoverished an already poor man.

Having just read of David’s seizure of Bathsheba and his slaughter of Uriah, who couldn’t recognize that David was this rich man.

Something blinded David to the truth of his own life.

Without recognizing himself, he ordered his own execution.

2 Samuel 12:5 “5 And David's anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, As the Lord liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die:”

Nathan responded to David simply “you’re him.”

David didn’t see it coming.

He had lost sense of himself.

Parker Palmer explains how we lose ourselves.

Here is the ultimate irony of the divided life: live behind a wall long enough, and the true self you tried to from the world disappears your own view! The wall itself and the world outside become all that you know. Eventually, you even forget that the wall is there and that hidden behind it is someone called you.”

David had become a hollowed out shell of who he really was.

He was lost in his own disguise.

He was no longer able to even recognize himself.

It is a shame that David’s story is often reduced to a man who hit a rough patch and made some bad decisions, but upon being confronted , demonstrated model repentance.

As if being really good at repenting is somehow its own kind of cover-up for a life of perpetually bad decisions.

A whitewashing of David aids in whitewashing ourselves.

The real story of David is that of a battle waged between public reputation and personal integrity.

Many men would like to be a man whom God would befriend.

They want to be a man after God’s own heart.

They struggle, though, to find that spiritual confidence, carrying so many of their own secrets.

The One Asked For

To understand the struggle of David’s reputation, we need to first grasp the world of Saul.

David was shaped by, and inherited the landscape of Saul’s kingship.

Even that royal image was first formed by the demand of the people.

1 Samuel 8:19-20 “19 Nevertheless the people refused to obey the voice of Samuel; and they said, Nay; but we will have a king over us; 20 That we also may be like all the nations; and that our king may judge us, and go out before us, and fight our battles.”

Egyptian Pharaohs were worshipped as semi-divine.

Philistine kings dominated the land along the Mediterranean.

Ammonites, Moabites, and Edomites all had kings known for their ferocity in battle.

But, Israel had no king.

All they had was Samuel.

Israel had come to equate power and success with the image of a king.

When we are first introduced to Saul, there are two traits that the Bible makes explicitly clear about this young man.

He was handsome and he was tall.

1 Samuel 9:2 “2 And he had a son, whose name was Saul, a choice young man, and a goodly: and there was not among the children of Israel a goodlier person than he: from his shoulders and upward he was higher than any of the people.”

We are suckers for leaders that look the part.

Looks matter.

A public image is a valuable thing.

Studies show that every inch of height = $1000 more per year in wages.

Other studies show that people can successfully pick the winner of an election by looking at a picture of the candidates for less than a second with 70% accuracy.

When it came to Saul, Israel needed only a split second to recognize what they were looking for.

Saul looked like a king.

This was enough to make him one.

Clothing and Reputation

Thomas Paine said, “Reputation is what men and women think of us, character is what God and the angels know of us.

Elbert Hubbard also said, “Many a man’s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

Mark Twain said this, “Give a man a reputation as an early riser, and he can sleep until noon.”

Saul was catapulted by his appearance from obscurity to royalty.

His story was one of constant struggle to be what he appeared to be.

To the world he projected an image of power, control, and nobility.

Within, he was coming apart, he was torn apart by fits of jealousy, rage, and paranoia.

Like the tree, he was destined for collapse.

The discrepancy between outward appearance and inner truth is a theme of Saul’s and David’s stories.

An over identification with our public reputation is an instinct many men know.

It is an instinct to which many men have forfeited their integrity and the truth of their lives to keep.

The narrator of these biblical stories uses a thematic image to draw out this tension.

These men are characterized by the garments they are given and the garments they wear.

Samuel grew up with the simple linen ephod his mother made for him each year.

Goliath entered the battlefield in a snake like suit of bronze armor.

For David and Saul, the descriptions of their garments are central to almost every story.

The Hebrew root BAGAD can be used as a noun for clothing and as a verb to conceal and to deceive.

English has some similar equivalents.

A cloak can be both an outer garment and a verb meaning to hide.

Saul offered David his armor.

Jonathan offered David his robe.

David served as Saul’s armor-bearer.

David spared Saul’s life, but secretly cut the hem of his garment.

Saul tore Samuel’s robe.

Saul wore a disguise to visit the witch at Endor.

David’s ambassadors were stripped of their clothes.

David fled Jerusalem with his head uncovered and barefoot.

David’s daughter tore her royal robes and refused to pretend everything was okay.

The list goes on.

Let’s look at two of the most important examples: one from Saul and one from David.

Naked Saul, Naked David

Saul was determined to kill David and got word that he was staying with Samuel in the city of Ramah.

Saul sent men to capture David.

Saul’s men were overcome by the Spirit of the Lord and began to prophesy.

Saul sent another detachment, and they too were overcome by the Spirit.

Third squad went; same result.

Finally, Saul went himself.

As Saul approached, the Spirit overcame him too.

1 Samuel 19:24 “24 And he stripped off his clothes also, and prophesied before Samuel in like manner, and lay down naked all that day and all that night. Wherefore they say, Is Saul also among the prophets?”

David escaped; Saul lay on the ground exposed.

It’s a strange story.

Saul naked and captive by the Spirit.

Saul is not stronger than the Lord.

His royal robes and reputation were not reality.

What was true was his nakedness before the Lord.

One author said this of Saul.

The pitifully embarrassing scene is that of this once great man, still tall but no longer great, exhausted by demanding religious exercises, clearly not in control, shamed, now rendered powerless in a posture of submissiveness. This episode is an act of dramatic delegitimization of Saul.

Saul can wear all the robes he wants.

He can parade before the people and boast of his accomplishments.

He can give commands, and rave in madness at his enemies.

But, we see him for what he is.

Later, when David became king, he began to solidify his power by moving his throne to Jerusalem.

He also sought to consolidate Israel’s religious focus within the city.

The ark of the covenant had been in a place called Baalah for a long time.

Israel had been unsure of what to do with it.

David gathers 30,000 men and attempts to bring it to Jerusalem.

They built a special ox cart, loaded the ark, and started a parade.

It was a party with music, excitement, and anticipation.

The Bible doesn’t depict it as a religious scene.

The celebration is more closely connected to entertainment.

Suddenly, one of the oxen stumbled.

The ark began to shift off of the cart.

One of the attendants reached up and steadied the ark.

At the moment that his hand touched it, he was struck dead.

Not hard to imagine how the lightning strike of divine judgment might ruin the mood of a party.

They ditched the ark in a nearby house and went home.

3 months passed before David went back for the ark.

This time it was carried on poles by men as God had commanded.

As they made their way, David halted them after 6 steps to offer a sacrifice.

David lead the ark, dancing in a linen ephod.

This was the common dress of a religious servant.

It was the same humble garment that Hannah had sewed for the boy Samuel.

It was nothing special.

It was distinctly religious and humble.

As they entered the city, David’s wife, Michal, Saul’s daughter saw him.

2 Samuel 6:16 “16 And as the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal Saul's daughter looked through a window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart.”

There is no mention of David exposing himself.

The passage never says he was naked.

Those are Michal’s words.

Michal learned from her father the importance of reputation and public image.

It bothered her that David had presented himself, not as a king, but as a servant.

He had embarrassed himself by acting beneath his public reputation.

As his wife, she felt the threat to her own image.

David and Saul both share this moment of being exposed .

Saul’s was forced on him by the Spirit.

David had chosen to set aside his reputation to be humble before the Lord.

Here he seems to understand the lesson.

HE has the humility to be honest about who he really was.

He recognized and owned the truth beneath the public image.

This was something that David would fail at as often as he got it right.

Blind to what’s Coming

As men we are notorious for our ability to ignore 90% of life and focus on the 10% in which we are most competent, most capable of winning.

We intuitively sense our weaknesses and hide them in an attempt at ignorance.

Knowing that parts of ourselves are unaccounted for, we cope by refusing any personal introspection.

We become less reflective, less vulnerable, and less articulate.

We do this out of fear for what we know is there, the truth.

We are all probably familiar with the story of the emperors new clothes.

Two weavers offered the king a remarkable robe which was invisible to those who were hopelessly stupid.

After such a proclamation, nobody, not even the king dared to admit that they couldn’t see the clothes

The king ends up parading through the streets naked while everyone believed what they saw was a sign of their own inadequacy.

Leaders and followers pretended to be impressed by what they knew didn’t exist.

It is hard not to get discouraged, even at church that Christians too often hide behind facades and cover up the truth about themselves.

Bonhoeffer said,

Though they have fellowship with one another as believers and as devout people, they do not have fellowship as the undevout as sinners . The pious fellowship permits no one to be a sinner. So everybody must conceal his sin from himself and from the fellowship. We dare not be sinners, so we remain alone with our sin living in lies and hypocrisy.

We become divided men.

Men living in two worlds.

Always doing fine.

Hoping no one pries too deep.

Men with hidden searching and erased histories.

Men unable to talk about anything but external trivialities.

Integrity is not a take it or leave it virtue.

It is an inevitability.

By choice or by fall, who we are always manages to get out.

Don’t you know that a midnight hour comes when everyone has to take off the mask? Do you think life always lets itself be trifled with? Do you think you can sneak off a little before midnight to escape this?

Rethinking Integrity

Integrity is often associated with ideas of honesty and faithfulness.

Some say integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching.

Today’s dictionaries define integrity as merely possessing strong moral principles.

Older dictionaries capture more accurately the word’s real significance.

The state or quality of being entire or complete; wholeness.

Moral soundness.

Sounds like an engineer’s talk of structural integrity or the arborist’s conclusion about the deteriorating magnolia tree.

Integrity is a word meant to describe an object’s state of being whole

No rotted interior.

No hidden deception.

The word comes from the old Latin word for integer, a whole number.

There are no fractions, no decimals, no extra parts.

A person of integrity is a person whose life is known and lived in full honesty.

Not always perfect, but always accounted for.

Integrity doesn’t demand that we always do what is right, but that we are always honest about what we do wrong.

We can manufacture a false sense of integrity by simply learning to avoid the more difficult parts of our own lives.

We make a claim of integrity factoring in only what is publicly knowable.

Such a shallow view of integrity leaves the politician with nothing but his slogans.

It leaves the pastor covered by only his pulpit.

It leaves the businessman culpable for only the expectations printed on his business card.

The compartments protect the truth from getting out.

The compartments allow for us to worship, witness, and advise others.

They allow us to go on living without the nagging guilt of what is also there.

Such fractures in our integrity eventually jeopardize our structural integrity.

Our lives are far from the wholeness demanded by the real virtue of integrity.

To claim integrity is to claim to know the whole truth of who you are.

Could someone open the bag, reach in, and pull out absolutely any moment in your life and find it to be congruent with any other.

It’s a terrifying thought because no matter how honest we imagine ourselves to be, our lives harbor all sorts of half-truths and incongruent secrets lurking in the shadows.

Integrity demands courage, and when it comes to our own lives, pretending is so much easier and less demanding.

It was this same basic lack of integrity that collapsed David’s life.

The weight of truth was set on the flimsy structure of David’s self-erected public image.

David’s life lacked the integrity to bear it.

He possessed the courage to battle giants but not to speak honestly about himself.

David’s life may be the Bible’s stiffest warning about the risks of ignoring your personal integrity.

We must build our lives around the truth.

We have to deal with what’s actually there.

We can’t hide it.

God is too gracious to let us get away with that.

What is Left but to Confess

Maybe the thing that is most remarkable about David’s life is that we know so many of the lurid details.

We know more about the life of David than any other character in the Bible.

David’s story is as uncomfortable and messy as our own.

We know him because he came to know himself and to allow himself to be known.

David’s story, as ours, is a quest for truth.

It is this honesty that makes David’s story so complicated, painful, and inspiring.

One of the last words of David’s life is his confession.

Psalm 32:3-5 “3 When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long. 4 For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. Selah. 5 I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.”

G.K. Chesterton wrote that some think “it is morbid to confess your sins. I should say that the morbid thing is not to confess them. The morbid thing is to conceal your sins and let them eat your heart out, which is the happy state of most people in highly civilized communities.”

Confession is not difficult to understand.

It doesn’t require special training.

It only requires you to give up the game.

Embrace what is there, the truth.

Be honest with yourself.

Be honest with God.

Be honest with someone you can trust.

Confession is a willingness to open long-shut doors to the light and grace of God.

Be who you really are before Him.

STOP HIDING