Perfection Means Failure

Probably one of the most difficult scriptures is undoubtedly:

Matthew 5:48 BSB

48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Given that no one is perfect, actually forget perfect the bible is clear that no one is even good! Let alone perfect - What do we make of this instruction from the Lord?

To understand this verse we first have to understand people.

People are motivated or driven by only 1 of 2 forces: Faith and love or Fear and anger.

What distinguishes a Disciple from a pew warmer is this drive.

A pew warmer lets fear decide what they should do and the single great fear is: Fear of Failure.

A disciple however is motivated by faith and thus its faith that decides what they should do.

This difference is seen so clearly in creation:

The Lion and the Zebra - The Zebra cannot actually engage with its environment so it finds safety only in the herd of other zebras.

And it is this fear of “standing out” that makers fearful people believe that this is how the lion finds and kills you.

But when you walk by faith and love the Lord and know how you are loved, then:

1 John 4:18 BSB

18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. The one who fears has not been perfected in love.

So lets follow the clues:

Jesus calls us to be perfect.

You cannot be perfect if you fear.

Fear is driven out by God’s perfect love.

Why?

Why does God’s love drive out fear?

Because from school days we are conditioned to believe that failure must be avoided at all costs.

Because we are taught that failure brings punishment/disapproval.

God’s love however is so healing because its NOT affected on our failures.

God loved us when we were sinners - utter failures - So the disciple understands that they do not need to fear failure because failure will not changes their relationship with God.

So how does this play out?

The fearful pew warmer, like the zebra they are, just wants to blend into the background.

So they never even try to grow or change.

The disciple however, not fearing failure in the eyes of man always seeks to improve.

Here are motivating questions:

1: Can anyone see me?

2: Can my life (and the lives of those i love) be better?

By life i mean all of it: Can my marriage be better? Can my relationships be better? Can my work be better?

In other words: Am I perfect as Jesus told us to “Be Perfect”?

No!

And my friends the answer to these questions is always: YES!!!

So the disciple, by answering yes, comes to a realization: They. Have. To. Change.

Which is the most dangerous thing a zebra can do!

The moment you try to change, try to make life better for those you love, the moment you step away from the pack: You pretty much guarantee failure!

Why?

Because you may very well know WHAT needs to change, but since you haven’t changed it yet, it means that you don’t know HOW to make those changes.

You will inevitably get it wrong - you will fail.

Now the impact of this all depends on how to understand failure.

Do you see it as something truly terrible that must be avoided at all costs?

Or do you see it as an absolute inevitable part of growth?

“Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward towards success.”

― C.S. Lewis

How does the Bible conceptualize failure?

Surprisingly, not that much.

Why would the bible not say more about this? Because the bible does not see failure as this most feared of all things.

The bible is very transparent regarding people failures, even its great heroes are known as much by their failures as their triumphs.

Abraham - had sex with another woman.

Moses - Murder and anger.

David - Murder and adultery.

Peter - Denying Jesus 3 times!

The Bible NEVER tells us to fear failure or the potential of failure.

In fact quite the opposite: What the bible stresses again and again is NOT the tradgey of failure but the inevitability of it and the COURAGE of faith to get up and try again:

Jeremiah 8:4 BSB

4 So you are to tell them this is what the LORD says: “Do men fall and not get up again? Does one turn away and not return?

Proverbs 24:16 BSB

16 For though a righteous man may fall seven times, he still gets up; but the wicked stumble in bad times.

Proverbs 14:32 BSB

32 The wicked man is thrown down by his own sin, but the righteous man has a refuge even in death.

2 Corinthians 4:9 BSB

9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.

Listen:

Being to afraid to even try and better your life and so never failing is way worse that knowing you can be better, trying to be better, failing miserably BUT getting up and trying again.

Do not forget that it was the fear of failing that cause the servant to suffer more than if he tried and failed!

Matthew 25:24–30 BSB

24 Finally, the servant who had received the one talent came and said, ‘Master, I knew that you are a hard man, reaping where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25 So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, you have what belongs to you.’ 26 ‘You wicked, lazy servant!’ replied his master. ‘You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed. 27 Then you should have deposited my money with the bankers, and on my return I would have received it back with interest. 28 Therefore take the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten talents. 29 For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. But the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him. 30 And throw that worthless servant into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

So how do we wrap our heads around this and live it by faith?

Well the answer is so simple, yet apparently the actual implementation is almost impossible!

Failure gives us the opportunity to Learn from our Mistakes!

Proverbs 26:11 BSB

11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

Psalm 119:71 BSB

71 It was good for me to be afflicted, that I might learn Your statutes.

The problem: Most people are incapable from learning by their mistakes.

Once you know how to “stand back up” you will stop being so afraid of falling down.

So why cant we learn from our mistakes?

1: Blaming others for our failures.

You cannot learn from a mistake if you have convinced yourself that you never made a mistake.

A sinful trait we picked up from our first parents Adam and Eve.

People do this to avoid embarrassment or to avoid punishment.

People who had performance driven parents or who married a critical spouse will avoid failure at all costs even taking responsibility for it.

2: Failing elitists an emotional response instead of a sound mind.

Again this is because of fear:

2 Timothy 1:7 KJV 1900

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

You can either have an emotional response to fear or you can have a sound mind - BUT NOT BOTH!

Let me show you the difference:

A Report Card - F

An emotional response will respond to this failure in one of two ways: The test was stupid, or I am stupid.

In BOTH outcomes the person will not get up and try again.

Why try again on a stupid test or why try again when I’m stupid.

Called CATASTROPHISING.

im the problem

they’re the problem

xxx is the problem

But that is not how a sound minds thinks.

A sound mind understands that there is a 3rd reason why you might have failed:

You (not stupid) tried to reach a goal (not stupid) but you used the wrong method of achieving that goal.

So when you fail as a disciple, you don’t give up on the goal or on “yourself”, equipped with this new knowledge of a method that does not work you formulate a new method to try.

And you fail again, and try again, and eventually you win.

I see this mistake in marriage counselling all the time!

You are running late for a meeting, you are stressed, your spouse forgets their phone so you have to turn around while you are already late: In emotional frustration they say:

You are so disorganized!

You are never ready!

You are always late!

You drive me crazy!

Notice that instead of dealing with the specific problem, they label their whole spouse as the problem!

Conclusion: