Parenting as Discipleship

Scripture Guide

1 Corinthians 10:31–11:1 ESV

31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 32 Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, 33 just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved. 1 Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.

You might be thinking, “what does this text have to do with parenting?”

You’re right to ask that...

This text doesn’t directly correlate with parenting. But, instead, it is directly correlated to the main thing every Christian parent is supposed to prioritize within their relationship with their children:

1 Corinthians 10:31-11:1 directly correlated to the main thing every Christian parent is supposed to prioritize within their relationship with their children:

Preparing Children for Eternity

In this text, Paul is arguing that Christian liberty should not be indulged in when that liberty is a hinderance to a brother or sister’s holiness.

He then, here, takes it another step further by saying our Christian Liberty should “give no offense either to Jews or to Greeks...”, in other words, Unbelievers.

Weather you agree with it or not, your children are not born Christian. I do believe in an age of accountability, but, just because a kid is born in a christian home doesn’t mean they will become a christian.

They are born after the image of Adam who has gifted them with His own sin nature.

Therefore, ever child is in desperate need of the gospel and to be trained up in it.

Being gospel givers to kids is both evangelical and discipling in nature. Gospel giving is a salvation issue.

Christ is who justifies the sinner. And Christ is who Sanctifies the sinner. Both actions by Jesus are part of our salvation.

Justification happens at their New Birth.

Sanctification is what happens as they live out faith in Christ after New Birth.

Sanctification is supposed to be strengthened by Discipleship.

I say that Sanctification is “supposed” to be strengthened by discipleship because there are wrong ways to disciple, right ways to disciple, wrong things to be discipled, and right things to be discipled.

Sanctification is deeply connected to this.

Paul said Give no offense and provide no hinderance!

This will begin to make more sense as I continue..

So, lets go here next:

What does “disciple” actually mean?

Disciple

Mathētēs: (Noun) A student who adheres to (and travels with) a teacher in a [teacher/learner] relationship; especially used of students of spiritual leaders

Mathēteuō: (Verb) To initiate or instruct a disciple in the ways or teachings of a specific teacher or leader.

The idea of discipleship is more than just content communicated.

Discipleship involves both content communicated and modeled

This scripture helps to clarify it.

Philippians 4:9 ESV

9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

For a moment...

Think Critically about the two definitions I gave you for Disciple.

I’ve underlined a few things to help you consider this...

Mathētēs: (Noun) A student who adheres to (and travels with) a teacher in a [teacher/learner] relationship; especially used of students of spiritual leaders

Mathēteuō: (Verb) To initiate or instruct a disciple in the ways or teachings of a specific teacher or leader.

This leads me to our first Theme and share our first Reality...

1st theme:

1. The Home

1st Reality

A child’s home is the primary place were lifestyle content will be communicated and modeled to them.

What Does This Mean?

You are currently discipling your kids by how you behave and what you say!

Ways You Are Discipling Your Children

What you do with your time - TV, Music, Church, Work, Hobbies, Etc.

What you say in the privacy of your home - Word Usage, Tone, Messages You Send, Etc.

What you choose over other things - Sports, Entertainment, Bible Reading, Prayer, Camping, Recreation, Etc.

How you handle your mistakes and failures - Ignoring, Owning, Confessing, Defending, Excusing, Repenting, Etc.

“Nobody is perfect”

If that is your attitude and you are not humbled by these facts then you are setting yourself up for failure. And most importantly… You are setting your child up for failure.

After considering these realities...

Do you feel confident saying this:

“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ!”

Story Time: In February, we had a teenage boy come live with us… I was humbled very quickly.

Claire and I realized very quickly that many of our daily habits and attitudes were not something we wanted imprinting on this young man. We decided we needed to make some adjustments.

Applying those adjustments was difficult. And, honestly, we failed a lot. Which humbled me greatly.

I used to think, “What’s wrong with all these people. I’d do it better!”

Now I don’t. I know now, even if it was just from a brief stint of fostering, that it is extremely hard to be a Christian parent who disciples their kid.

With that said, we still have a responsibility to address and act on this reality...

1st Reality

A child’s home is the primary place were lifestyle content will be communicated and modeled to them.

Home Applications

Do a self assessment TONIGHT

What do my children see and hear from me?

Do what my children see and hear negatively effect them emotionally?

What do I prioritize with my children?

Sports? Entertainment? Lavish living? Over indulgence?

Do I parent my children? Or am I more interested in them liking me?

Make a plan of action THIS WEEK

What do I need to change about my personal habits and behavior?

Wake up early for bible and prayer?

Change music, tv, and movie habits?

Find an accountability partner to meet with regularly?

Do I need to start apologizing (without "buts”) about things I do that either hurt my child or spouse and set them all up for failure?

What should I stop doing with my family?

Event frequency changes? Stop eating dinner in front of the tv? Stop listening to bad music in the car?

Stop prioritizing sports?

What should I start doing with my family?

Attend church regularly?

Read the bible and pray together before bed?

Confess sin and request prayer together?

Set reasonable goals for THIS MONTH

I will read 1 chapter of the bible every day this month. I will do a christian devotion in the morning and pray for 5 things every morning this month.

We will attend church 4 times this month?

We will listen to Christian praise music when we are in the car from now on.

I will take my kids through a short devotional book this month. At night.

I will pray over my children at least 3 times a week when I take them to school in the morning.

Set a reminder on your phone to remind you to reassess your progress NEXT MONTH

Home Applications

Do a self assessment Tonight

Make a plan of action This Week

Set reasonable goals for This Month

Set a reminder on your phone to remind you to reassess your progress Next Month

That concludes The Home

2nd Theme

2 - Community

I want to address something that makes it even more difficult to form children into the image of Christ. More so, regarding the results one might see in a disciple they are discipling than how hard it is to motivate yourself to disciple your kids...

Things are different now

Being a parent was a lot different 150 - 250 years ago and every day before that.

It used to be that the family unit was the primary place a child would be every day and every night. Not only that, a child’s household looked a lot different than today’s household.

It used to be that you would have more than just 2 generations living under the same roof. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc, would all be under the same roof or within a very very close distance.

Some of you are probably saying “Thank God the times have changed!”.

Well, I get it. People are messy. And its easier to be separated sometimes...

But consider this for a moment.

Now, almost every age group is separated within western culture. AND, now every child is being trained and taught by people who are not a part of their household. And the things they are being taught are not always what you have invested into your kids or even want them learning!

I do not have research or studies I can quote for what I’m about to say. All I have is my experience growing up in this culture and working with teenagers for the last 15 or so years.

Pastor Caleb’s Theory

By embracing and implementing a more individualistic and compartmentalized worldview, westerners have severely handicapped every new generation’s spiritual, emotional, and mental development.

Before you start throwing rocks at me and calling me a socialist or communist, let me clarify what I’m talking about.

2nd Reality

You and your children were created for rich multigenerational life-on-life community not cheap compartmentalized fabricated community.

God’s design has been hijacked!

So, you really do have the cards stacked against you. I’m sorry.

The answer is not to withdraw completely from society. There might be some withdrawal. But I’m not necessarily an advocate for every type of withdrawing from the corrupted world systems we live in.

I just think, we need to be aware of it, make some hard choices, and make sure we are listening to God’s Spirit direct us.

But there is

Good News

Church, when done biblically, is a place where this rich multigenerational life-on-life community can happen!

This is a good church plug.

2nd Reality

You and your children were created for rich multigenerational life-on-life community not cheap compartmentalized fabricated community.

Community Applications

Invest in being a church member

Join a Life Group

Attend Church Community activities as often as you possibly can!

VOLUNTEER IN CHILDREN’S AND YOUTH MINISTRY

Let your WebKidz participate in “adult church” from time to time

Community

To summarize...

Discipling your children is unavoidable. You are discipling your children to be something, love something, and do something through everything you do and everything you say!

THEY ARE ALWAYS WATCHING YOU!

What do you desire to prepare your children for most?

College?

Marriage?

A job?

A sports career?

Or is it eternity?

Joshua 24:15 ESV

And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

So…

I want to leave you with this thought...

Its something special about the God we serve...

Deuteronomy 10:18 NIV

He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing.

Our Heavenly Father loves children. He has an especially strong love for children that are parentless or functionally parentless...

To be honest with you… this seminar series should be packed out...

Christians should be especially concerned with the state of little souls and desire to become better equipped to raise them!

We have a pandemic of children who are essentially orphans.

Parents no longer parent. In fact, they do not have the emotional or spiritual maturity required to do so.

We now live in a society that is primarily made up of adults who are functioning as if they are children.

What does this mean for us in this room or in the church of Christ?

We may be the only adults left to parent this generation of emotional and spiritual orphans.

I will admit that I believe we are living in the final years before Christ’s return. I want to make sure I am faithfully reflecting Him and my Father in Heaven before its over.

Historically, Christians have been notorious for being parents to the orphan.

In the first few centuries, pagan parents would simply throw their children into the river or abandon them in the woods if they didn’t want them. Children would be sold as slaves or worse if their parents desired food more then their children.

Christians would wait near rivers to pluck babies out of the water. They would watch the woods to see if a child needed to be picked up. They would purchase kids back from traffickers in order to save them. And then, they would raise them as their own. Discipling them into Christ.

Adoption and fostering are great great options to help the parentless now.

But we also need a the church to start to get church right again.

Its not just the kids in DSS custody who need to be loved and parented.

It’s almost every kid now!

I’m not telling you to go to the elementary schools, playgrounds, or the high school. Thats not the right approach.

But, maybe start in the context that God has given us!

HERE.

Children’s Ministry Youth Ministry

Jordan and I could tell you some of the saddest stories. Just because a kid is in WebKidz on Sunday or Wednesday doesn’t mean they are actually growing up in a christian home.

We have grandparents who bring their grandchildren here because its the only chance they have to disciple their grandchildren.

I’ve been involved in youth ministry for 10 or so years. We see SOOOO many kids that this is the only place where they will see, experience, and learn about the love of Christ.

WE NEED YOU!

THESE KIDS NEED YOU!