Joseph Family Tree.Lecture

Introduction

Example with John Wesley:

John Wesley and the founder of the Methodist Church. Let me give you a little insight to this incredibly motivated man. This is the person who would spend every minute of every day in service to the lord. Preaching, studying, praying. He demanded much from his followers. He truly and literally gave everything he had. Cared so much for the poor that he gave all his money away:

In 1744 Wesley wrote, “When I die if I leave behind me ten pounds...you and all mankind can bear witness against me, that I have lived and died a thief and a robber.” When he died in 1791, the only money mentioned in his will was the miscellaneous coins to be found in his pockets and dresser drawers. Most of the 30,000 pounds he had earned in his lifetime he had given away. As Wesley said, “I cannot help leaving my books behind me whenever God calls me hence; but in every other respect, my own hands will be my executors.”

What made him this way, well the LORD, yes. But also his family systems.

· Father was a strong and demanding man

· He was a replacement child: There were two babies born just before him named John and they both died one after the other. And then they named him John.

· His experience of being a brand plucked from the fire.

Example with me

· Oldest

· Could not fail

· Could not make a B

· Took care of my brothers, the care taker.

Joseph’s Family Tree

Go back to the patriarch.

Genesis 27:30–36 NIV

30 After Isaac finished blessing him, and Jacob had scarcely left his father’s presence, his brother Esau came in from hunting. 31 He too prepared some tasty food and brought it to his father. Then he said to him, “My father, please sit up and eat some of my game, so that you may give me your blessing.” 32 His father Isaac asked him, “Who are you?” “I am your son,” he answered, “your firstborn, Esau.” 33 Isaac trembled violently and said, “Who was it, then, that hunted game and brought it to me? I ate it just before you came and I blessed him—and indeed he will be blessed!” 34 When Esau heard his father’s words, he burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, “Bless me—me too, my father!” 35 But he said, “Your brother came deceitfully and took your blessing.” 36 Esau said, “Isn’t he rightly named Jacob? This is the second time he has taken advantage of me: He took my birthright, and now he’s taken my blessing!” Then he asked, “Haven’t you reserved any blessing for me?”

And we can go back to Jacob stealing the birthright, we can also go back to Issac and see where he is deceptive.

Jacob is a deceiver.

Genesis 29:15–23 NIV

15 Laban said to him, “Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages should be.” 16 Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. 17 Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. 18 Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.” 19 Laban said, “It’s better that I give her to you than to some other man. Stay here with me.” 20 So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. 21 Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to make love to her.” 22 So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. 23 But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and Jacob made love to her.

But Jacob wanted Rachel....

Genesis 29:25–27 NIV

25 When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?” 26 Laban replied, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. 27 Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.”

Ok, let’s fill in some more.....

Jacob (Father) = his name means “deceiver” or “usurper” or “little cheat”  he stole his inheritance from his brother and spend most of his life estranged from his mother, father, and only brother.

Leah (1st wife) = in exchange for 7 years of labor for her father Laban he was able to marry her. Only, he did not want to marry her, Laban deceived him. He wanted the pretty one, Rachel. Don’t miss the irony of Laban deceiving the original deceiver.

· Jacob never loved Leah

Proverbs 30: 21-23: Under three things the earth trembles; under four it cannot bear up: a slave when he becomes king, and a fool when he is filled with food; an unloved woman when she gets a husband, and a maidservant when she displaces her mistress.

Do you know what its like to grow up in a home where love is completely absent?

Its hard isn’t it? There are consequences that are bigger than the relationship itself

Dad’s in the room…one of the most important things you can do for your children is love mom well.

Now if things were not already bad enough… we need to meet Zilpah and Bilhah:

When Rachel sees her sister giving Jacob all these kids and she is unable to conceive, Rachel gives her servant Bilhah to him. Jacob and Bilhah will have sons.

When Leah saw that she couldn’t have any more children, not to be outdone, she gave her servant Zilpah to Jacob and they had two sons.

Then eventually Rachel would be able to have a couple sons, that’s when we meet Joseph and Benjamin.

Let’s review…family tree photo.

Now what observations can we make here about this family, that also give us indications of our own family?

Bowen Family systems theory:

Do you know to some extent you are a product of your family system?

The family systems theory is a theory introduced by Dr. Murray Bowen that suggests that individuals cannot be understood in isolation from one another, but rather as a part of their family, as the family is an emotional unit. Families are systems of interconnected and interdependent individuals, none of whom can be understood in isolation from the system.

“The one most central theoretical premise of family systems theory concerns the degree to which we all have poorly ‘differentiated’ selfs, or the degree to which we are ‘undifferentiated,’ or the degree of our unresolved emotional attachments to families of origin.” (Bowen, 1978, p. 529)

In Bowen theory, the nuclear family, rather than the individual, is the emotional unit.

This means two things:

Whatever affects one affects each one in the system. That is, anxiety moves easily from person to person in the group.

Family members trade “self” into the family relationship togetherness in a family “fusion” of selves.

Anxiety:

Anxiety is important in emotional systems. It is automatic and most of it is out of awareness. When it becomes conscious, it is emotion.

Anxiety travels. It is infectious

Where it travels determines the limits of the emotional system

Generational Sin:

Thoughts on generational sin?

Your genes are shaped by your family experience.

Dr. Rachel Yehuda, Epigenetics:

You are shaped by your environment, did you grow up in poverty, ethnicity, experiences.

There is a study by Yehuda that found a stress hormone among descendents of Holocaust survivors. 3 generations. The trauma of the experience was passed down.

When something is not dealt with, it does not die.

If we do not deal with the past then we will knowingly or unknowlingly live into, mimic, and pass down the past.... good and bad.

Emotional health and Spirituality is deeply connected

Pete Scazzero:

“In emotionally healthy churches, people understand how their past affects their present ability to love Christ and others. They have realized from Scripture and life that an intricate, complex relationship exists between the kind of persons they are today and their past. Numerous external forces may shape us but the family we have grown up in is the primary (except in rare instances) the most powerful system that will shape and influence who we are.” -Pete Scazzero

Jesus may live in your heart, but grandpa lives in your bones.

Concluding thoughts:

1. Jacob and responsibility:

a. First, lets acknowledge how vulnerable the scriptures are. Nothing white washed. And this text is not affirming polygamy.

b. Jacob is a product of his family system for sure, but he allows that broken identity to drive his family.

i. Marked by alcoholism? Abuse? Abandonment?

c. You have responsibility in your family

2. Adultery and divorce

a. Now its easy to look at this story and see it as the extreme. Like of course things at home are rough…you have essentially 4 jealous wives under 1 household.

b. In today’s world Leah would have probably been out of there. Divorce.

c. Adultery and divorce are spoken out against aggressively in the bible for a reason. It does not matter how old the kids are.

i. Personally Lauren and I know this to be true.

3. Deception begets deception. In a world of deception…the most devious wins the game

a. Haiti airport.

b. Separate yourself from the culture of deception. Stop participating in it.

4. How do we do family better?

a. Consider your childhood. Consider what still influences you.

“Stories significantly shape identity. They partly determine identity, preferences, and behavior. A large part of our stories derives from our family origin, which probably comprises the most influential system to which an individual can belong. This powerful influence comes packaged in the various narratives created within our family environments. Among other things, these narratives include the family legacies handed down through generations and the relational patterns, which dominated those environments. Because of these influences, family stories inevitably impact our everyday life.” Dr. Tony Headley.