Forgiveness

Forgiveness Chris Lumsden The Victorious King / Matthew 18:21–35 This morning we’re talking about forgiveness. If one of the kids came out and asked you, “What is forgiveness?” What would you say? It’s kind of like love. It’s used so widely both in the church and outside that it almost loses meaning. It’s when you say, “I forgive you!” What is forgiveness? We’re going to talk about that this morning. We can all agree forgiveness, whatever it is, is powerful. Stories of forgiveness move us. Any Hamilton fans in the house? The song “Quiet Uptown” makes me cry every time. It’s the journey of Eliza Hamilton forgiving her husband for his adultery and the death of their son. And the song ends with this line, “Forgiveness - can you imagine?” Forgiveness is powerful. But we also know forgiveness is powerful AND painful. Maybe as you read this passage and you knew we were going to talk about forgiveness, a person came to mind. An event. A moment. And you feel something powerful and painful. Maybe there is someone in your life - a family member who hurt you, a coworker who gossiped about you, a friend who betrayed you - that you have forgiven and it is still painful. Maybe there is someone you have yet to forgive. Forgiveness is painful because it deals with our pain. People hurt us. We want to be forgiven when we’re in the wrong but it’s painful to forgive others. Additionally, I think we all would all agree we should forgive. We’re in church. So you know the right answer is Jesus forgave you so you should forgive others. So why are we still having such a hard time forgiving each other? What’s going on? What is forgiveness and how do we do it from the heart like Jesus says? This morning we’re going to let Jesus teach us about forgiveness in Matt. 18:21-35. Peter asks about forgiveness, and so do we. And Jesus will show us that forgiven people forgive. Forgiven people forgive. Page 1. Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:59 PM September 30, 2023. We’re past the 50 yard line in Matthew. Football, cuz you know, the Mariners let me down. Matthew is about Jesus, the King who invites us to live with him in his good kingdom. And the last few weeks we saw how Jesus is the King, he’s the Christ, but he had to be killed. Jesus is the divine Son of God but people did not recognize him. But he knew he would die and then be raised to life. Matthew is a story of all that, and it’s full of Jesus’ teachings. In Matthew there are five blocks of teaching from Jesus, the SOTM is the first, and Matt 18-19 are the 4th of 5 teaching blocks. And in Matthew 18, Jesus is teaching about relationships in the kingdom. He’s talking about the church. In light of who I am and the community I am building, here is how you are to interact with one another. Matthew is writing this as a gift to the early church - follow Jesus as you learn to live with one another as Jesus taught us. In Matthew 18, Jesus has talked about power, About not causing others to sin, about seeking those who are lost, and in the passage directly before ours, about discipline. Here’s how we deal with sin in the church. But if Jesus’ teaching ended there, we would think the emphasis in the church for dealing with sin is discipline. But that’s not where it ends... Peter asks a question... Matthew 18:21–22 NASB95 Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 21 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Peter gets up the nerve and asks Jesus…okay if my sister sins against me and repents, awesome. But what if she keeps doing it? Jesus what if she lies about me again? Jesus what if he betrays me again? Let’s be reasonable. How many times should I forgive them? 7? Page 2. Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:59 PM September 30, 2023. Before we get ahead of ourselves…what does Peter mean by forgive? Well, whatever forgiveness is, Peter connects it with sin. Sin is literally to miss, or to miss the mark of God’s law. Sin is breaking relationship with God and others because God’s law is summarized by the command to love him and love others. A key to understanding biblical forgiveness is seeing that the Bible views sin as something that needs to be eliminated and removed. Isaiah 1:18 NASB95 18 “Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the LORD, “Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool. Psalm 103:12 NASB95 12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. The word Peter uses for forgive is the same Greek word translated... to leave, or to let something be alone, to send away, and even to divorce. Jesus how many times should I divorce my brother from his sin? The Rabbis taught you should forgive 3 times. If you gossip about me at small group, the pastor says I should forgive you 3 times. That’s pretty generous, right? Peter goes I’ll double that! Jesus, in the kingdom, do we forgive 7 times? Page 3. Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:59 PM September 30, 2023. Jesus says no, 70 x 7 times. Peter thought he was blowing the Rabbis out of the water but Jesus ends the discussion. It’s like he’s saying, “No Peter, you just go on and on and on and on and on forgiving.” Why 70 x 7? There’s a man in the OT named Lamech. He’s the son of the world’s first murderer. And Lamech says Genesis 4:23–24 NASB95 23 Lamech said to his wives, “Adah and Zillah, Listen to my voice, You wives of Lamech, Give heed to my speech, For I have killed a man for wounding me; And a boy for striking me; 24 If Cain is avenged sevenfold, Then Lamech seventy-sevenfold.” Lamech is a picture of sin. Sin hurts and sin says, if you hurt me, I’ll make you pay. But Jesus says my kingdom is the complete inverse of this way of life. One commentary I read said if 7 is a number of biblical completeness and wholeness then 70x7 is a number representing unrestricted and unsurpassable forgiveness. Why must we go on and on forgiving? Matthew 18:23–24 NASB95 “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. 23 Page 4. Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:59 PM September 30, 2023. 24 “When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Jesus explains why the kingdom is based on forgiveness by telling this story. First things first, the Bible does not condone slavery but this picture of a king and his slaves is one of a lord and his servants. People who are high and people who are low. But this king decides to balance his royal checkbook and a slave is brought to him who owes him ten thousand talents. And we laugh. Jesus is being hyperbolic. A talent is the heaviest measure of biblical weight. It is 75 pounds of money. Equivalent to 15-20 years wages. And this slave owed 10,000 75 lb bags of money, or 750,000 pounds of money or 10,000 times whatever you would make in 20 years. It’s like Jesus said, “a slave was brought to the king who owed him 13 billion dollars. How would someone rack up such a debt? Remember when you rented movies from video stores? What if your debt was 13 billion dollars to blockbuster. Just give me time, Hollywood Video!! Presumably over a long period of time and by making a series of wrong moves. It’s laughable! It’s beyond imagining. It’s preposterously large. And that’s the point. Matthew 18:25 NASB95 “But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. 25 We might say, that’s harsh. Perhaps, but does the king have a right to do this? Yes. It would be right for the king to do this. It’s his money. Matthew 18:26–27 NASB95 “So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ 26 27 “And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. The slave upon hearing the judgment: guilty. Condemned. Page 5. Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:59 PM September 30, 2023. Responds with a plea with his face to the ground. Have patience with me. I’ll pay you back. But can he? No! If you owed the government a billion dollars, and you make $60k a year, with interest, could you ever repay that debt? Just give me patience, please. And that’s the point, HE CAN’T repay the debt!! The fact he tries to say “I’ll repay you” is almost as laughable as the amount. But the king FELT compassion. This king’s gut reaction is he cares. And because of that, he forgives. And here we see forgiveness: the king lets go of his right to make that person pay. That’s forgiveness. It’s saying - I’m letting go of my right to make you pay. And Gateway, if you are in Christ, this is your story. Forgiveness has to do with debts, Jesus said as much in the Lord’s prayer - forgive us our debts - we had a debt that we could never repay and Jesus said It is finished it is sent away. Our life is based on forgiveness. And maybe you’re here this morning feeling guilty and ashamed over your sin and you think you’re going to work harder to pay God back. You can’t. You could never pay him back. Why? It’s too big. ‘I will try a bit harder. I will come to church. Surely that will do?’ But it won’t. The debt is phenomenal: a thousand times the annual revenue of Galilee, Judea, Samaria and Idumea put together! Totally beyond imagining. And the king forgives him the lot. The parallel is plain. That is what God has done to the sins of the disciple—any disciple. They have been piling up for years like debts: every day, every hour adds to them. They can never be paid. And God says, ‘I release you from that debt.’ The Message of Matthew, Michael Green Jesus offers unrestricted and unsurpassable forgiveness. And that changes everything. But…that’s not where the story ends... Matthew 18:28–30 NASB95 Page 6. Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:59 PM September 30, 2023. “But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ 28 “So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ 29 30 “But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. The same slave who was forgiven a 13 billion dollar debt and he Finds someone who owes him a denarii - a days wage - so 3 months income…so like 1/600,000th of what he was owed... And he says GIVE ME MY MONEY!! And the slave responds EXACTLY like the first…but instead of being like the king who forgave him the debt, the slave sends him to prison. Rather than this forgiven person forgiving, this forgiven person is entitled. They stand on their rights rather than what they’ve received. Matthew 18:31–34 NASB95 “So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. 31 “Then summoning him, his lord said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 32 33 ‘Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ “And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. 34 Verse 33 is the key…why didn’t you do for others what I did for you? It’s like when you get in line for coffee and people start buying each others orders. What’re you supposed to do? Buy the next person’s! But if you don’t, you’re a jerk! Here we see another element of forgiveness: mercy. What is mercy? Grace is getting what we don’t deserve, mercy is not getting what we deserve. The king DIDN’T give the slave what he deserved: condemnation. The king had a gut reaction to the pleading of the servant. But the servant felt no pity and gave no mercy and offered no forgiveness. Page 7. Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:59 PM September 30, 2023. So what? Matthew 18:35 NASB95 “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.” 35 And we ask, what if Jesus is serious? What if we receive mercy and have our debt of sin removed by God and yet in life with each other we don’t show the same mercy and forgiveness…what happens then? Jesus says it’s not good. What does Jesus mean “from the heart”? I think he means it’s not just that we SHOULD forgiven it’s that how can we NOT forgive when we truly realize how we’ve been forgiven? Don’t you know, you were the one who owed 13 billion and was forgiven, how could you condemn a friend who owes you a grand? Jesus is building an anti-Lamech community - restoring creation back from it’s shattered ruins and making a forgiven people who forgive. This fall as we near the end of Matthew, we are seeing how Jesus is the King but not the king we expect and the kingdom is often not how we expect. So what light does this passage shed on Jesus? Jesus is a king of unrestricted and unsurpassable forgiveness. Jesus would have been within his rights to demand what he is owed as the God of the universe: full obedience and worship. And we will pay back what we have not given him. Maybe you say, What do I owe Jesus? Of course God would forgive me, I’m awesome! The Bible says God created the world and loves the world and he tells us how we ought to live and that’s by loving him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Page 8. Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:59 PM September 30, 2023. Have you loved God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength? Today? The last five minutes? Have you loved your next door neighbor like you love yourself? I know I haven’t. And as we fail to do that over the course of our lives it’s like we are continuously breaking relationship with God and it’s like a debt that’s mounting up beyond anything we could ever repay through going to church, praying prayers, giving to the food bank, not swearing, being nice....it’s monstrous! Well, why did Jesus have to die to pay for this sin? The king in the story just said, “You’re forgiven.” Is God sadistic? Forgiveness has a cost. There is a debt. And someone has to pay it. The king was out a billion dollars. He ate that cost and it HURT him financially because he wouldn’t get that money back. In the same way, there is a cost to repay all the hurt of humanity that we have caused to God, each other, and the world. And the Bible says the way to cleanse sin is through blood. Blood can remove sin. And Jesus’ blood was the most precious blood to ever be shed and his blood was so precious that it was enough to forgive the sins of the world once and for all. It is unrestricted and unsurpassable. And enough so that Jesus couldn’t stay dead but rose againk. How do we get in on such a deal? Just like the slave. See your debt and plead with God. Forgive me. I cannot repay it back but I ask that you’d take it away. You’re the king. And that leads us into our second thought... Forgiven people forgive. Everyone agrees that forgiveness is good. We ought to forgive one another. Christians should forgive. Sure! Then why don’t we? Do we understand what has been forgiven of us? If we do, then Jesus says you will forgive each other. True forgiveness comes from our hearts when we’ve been forgiven. There’s a way of relating to God that says my debt wasn’t that bad so I’m just going to work harder and repay him. I’ll go to church, read my Bible, pray more, get my act together…and Jesus says that’s not how it works. Similarly, there’s a way of relating to each other that says you hurt me so now I’m going to make you pay. But Jesus says that’s not how it’s going to work in my new community. Matthew is instructing the early church: your life is a gift. It is a mercy. So GO ON AND ON AND ON forgiving not simply because you ought to, because you can’t help but forgive because of what you’ve been forgiven. Page 9. Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:59 PM September 30, 2023. And you say, how? Chris, you don’t know what’s been done to me. You’ve got no idea. Chris, I understand the premise but I can never forgive that person. You don’t no what they said to my boss and I lost my job and now I can’t find work and I’m afraid I can’t care for my kids. Chris, I love Jesus and I hear you but this hurt is too deep. You don’t know what my ex did and all they took from me. I can’t let this go. Chris, the person I can’t forgive is myself. You don’t know what I’ve done, what I continue to do, what I’m capable of. And I’d say okay…what is keeping you from forgiving? If you’ve received Jesus’ unrestricted forgiveness, what is keeping you from offering that to others? How do we forgive each other? Somebody in your community group shares a private text as a prayer request but their intent is obviously to harm you and make you look bad to the group. How do you forgive them? A family member hurt you deeply. How in the world would you forgive them? You had a business partner lie to you and cost you tons of money and investments and your job. What would it look like to let go of your right to pay them back? Maybe it’s important to talk about what forgiveness is not. When we say, “Forgiven people forgive.” Are we saying, “Forgiven people forgive and forget?” What do we mean? Thankful to Dave Waller and Lewis Smead for their work compiling this list which I found very helpful. Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is not rescuing someone from the consequences of their wrong doing. Forgiveness is not reconciling with a person who is not trustworthy, who will continue to abuse and harm you, who is unrepentant. Forgiveness is not stopping authorities to penalize law breakers. The government and church can punish sin and law breakers. I personally am not allowed to exact revenge. Forgiveness is not saying what they did is alright now, or was not that bad. Page 10. Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:59 PM September 30, 2023. Forgiveness is not waiting for them to pay you back. Forgiveness is not the stopping of the grief and anger that comes from a deep wrong done to us. To forgive, it does not instantly stop the deep reoccurring grief, and anger that I may feel at the deep hurt and betrayal. Forgiving is letting go of my right to hit back. Hitting back is what Lamech would do - the son of the first murderer. We’re Jesus people, our life is not based on what we win and earn, but on our forgiveness in Christ. First, we Remember We are the people who owed the king 13 billion dollars. And there was a time where we realized our debt was too large. And we fell on our faces and begged God for forgiveness. And because he goes on and on and on forgiving, he said, “I won’t make you pay for that. I ate the cost on the cross and you can go free.” Jesus instructs us that forgiveness is not just a good thing we ought to do it’s a heavenly thing that God has done for us and helps us do for each other. Choose We can’t wait until we just feel like forgiving. Forgiveness is a matter of the will. It is determination. I trust that God has forgiven me, now I am determined to live that out in my life - even for this person. It is a choice. Have you made the decision to forgive that person? Continue to experience emotions Forgiveness doesn’t mean the pain goes away. Lewis Smead says we hurt, we hate, and we heal. So if you still experience rage, anxiety, fear, hurt, sadness, that doesn’t necessarily mean you haven’t forgiven them from your heart. It is a long process and will still bring up complex emotions. Page 11. Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:59 PM September 30, 2023. Wish them well We go from mercy and we can end in grace. Because that’s what God does for us. Doesn’t mean you trust them. Doesn’t mean you invite them over for Christmas dinner. But you begin to hope that God shows them the same forgiveness he showed you. Over time. As we determine not to hold the grievance against our brother or sister, but to accept his or her penitence wholeheartedly as God does, gradually the heart catches up with the head, and forgiveness, repeatedly reiterated, becomes part of us and enters deep into the wounded feelings. We are at last able to say, ‘It is finished.’ - The Message of Matthew, Michael Green On October 2, 2006, nearly exactly 17 years ago - a shooting occurred at the West Nickel Mines School, an Amish one room schoolhouse in Pennsylvania. Charles Carl Roberts IV took hostages and shot ten girls (aged 6-13) killing five, before committing suicide himself. Charles’ mother, Terri a nearby resident found out the day of the shooting when her husband called and said, “You need to come home. It was Charlie.” Terri said, “It can’t be. Her initial reaction was she would never be able to live in this neighborhood again. But this Amish community shocked the country as they decided to forgive. A grandfather of one of the murdered girls was heard talking to younger Amish men saying, “We must not think evil of this man. He had a mother and a wife and a soul and now he’s standing before a just God.” Jack Meyer, a member of the Amish community living nearby said, “I don’t think there’s anybody here that wants to do anything but forgive and not only reach out to those who have suffered a loss in that way but to reach out to the family of the man who committed these acts.” Some criticized this forgiveness, calling it inappropriate and it risks denying the existence of evil. But the Amish said letting go of grudges is a deeply rooted value stemming from Jesus himself. Forgoeing vengeance does not minimize the wrong or undo the tragedy, but it constitutes a first step towards a more hopeful future. West Nickel Mines school moved and renamed and is now called New Hope School. Forgiveness, can you imagine? Page 12. Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:59 PM September 30, 2023.