Keeping the Good Ones

As we have been walking through the topic of friends, we have touched on a few topics. We have looked at how sometimes so-called friends pull us farther from God than we ever intended. Sometimes, people who disguise themselves as friends can lead us to our destruction, as we saw with Samson and Delilah in Judges 16.

‌We have seen how hanging out with friends who are destructive can sometimes lead us to places where we never intended to go, especially when we thought they were just having fun. We have seen how sometimes, when our destructive friends are leading us down the path of destruction, our other friends often try to warn us of the dangers that lay ahead. And soon a battle ensues on who you are going to listen to.

It can sometimes be a hard path to follow, but thankfully nothing is new under the sun, and there are examples of friends we can learn from in the Bible.

Discussion

I first want us to take 5 minutes

Share with your group's examples of friends in your life in the past or current who have tried to lead you to do things you shouldn’t (e.g. drinking, smoking, driving a car recklessly etc) and then share if you have had other friends express concern for you, and how did their concern make you feel? (e.g. annoyed, surprised, embarrassed, happy, loved etc.)

I am sure there were a bunch of good things discussed during that time. But now I want us to open our Bibles to 1 Thessalonians 5:12-28

1 Thessalonians 5:12–28 NASB95

But we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another. We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit; do not despise prophetic utterances. But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil. Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass. Brethren, pray for us. Greet all the brethren with a holy kiss. I adjure you by the Lord to have this letter read to all the brethren. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

There are a few things I wanted us to take particular note of in this passage.

1. Is acknowledge those who work hard among you.

Why might the Bible encourage us to recognize those who work hard among us?

Maybe because when we see people who work hard those are the people who have a sense of responsibility. They aren’t just taking advantage of people, but they are positively contributing to others lives. If you aren’t working hard, to the point where you can proudly sign your name to the job that was done, you are more than likely just taking advantage of what God has provided to you.

2. Acknowledge those who care for you in the Lord

Why do you think this point is important?

I don’t want to get to much into this point because I will be at risk of stealing from next months materials. But God has surrounded us with people who love us and care for us. The fact that you are here in this room means that God has sent someone in your life to be there for you no matter what. It can be easy to take it forgranted that these people love us and want the best for us. But what isn’t as easy is thanking these people for being there for us. It is these people who truly want the best for you.

3. Acknowledge those who admonish you!

Define admonish: verb. To warn or reprimand someone firmly. To Advise or urge (someone) earnestly. Warn someone of something to be avoided.

This one isn’t as easy because it never feels good for someone to say that you are wrong.

Why is this important point important?

I would argue that if someone is willing to be brutally honest with you they are the person who cares about you most in the world. But let me be crystal clear, a friend who is brutally honest with you doesn’t talk negatively behind others backs, they don’t put down others, and they are not malicious to others while being AIR QUOTES “BRUTALLY HONEST WITH YOU” a friend who admonishes you still is caring towards the others but they are also straight talking, and will not lead you into negative situations that will bring you harm.

The Bible says “Hold (the people mentioned above) in the highest regard in love because of their work.” v.13

Discussion

I want you all to now turn into your groups again and

Discuss how you might find a friend that will care for you the way those verses stated. Also share if you have a friend who is like those things above, for lack of better words share with your group who your “ride or die” friend is and why.

There is one ride and die friendship that I can think of from the Bible and they can be found in 1 Samuel.

Lets read 1 Samuel 18:1-11

1 Samuel 18:1–11 NASB95

Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself. Saul took him that day and did not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt. So David went out wherever Saul sent him, and prospered; and Saul set him over the men of war. And it was pleasing in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul’s servants. It happened as they were coming, when David returned from killing the Philistine, that the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with joy and with musical instruments. The women sang as they played, and said, “Saul has slain his thousands, And David his ten thousands.” Then Saul became very angry, for this saying displeased him; and he said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, but to me they have ascribed thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?” Saul looked at David with suspicion from that day on. Now it came about on the next day that an evil spirit from God came mightily upon Saul, and he raved in the midst of the house, while David was playing the harp with his hand, as usual; and a spear was in Saul’s hand. Saul hurled the spear for he thought, “I will pin David to the wall.” But David escaped from his presence twice.

So Jonathan and David are good friends, but Saul (Jonathan's dad) hates David, a cool dynamic. I would encourage you all to keep on reading the next few chapters until Chapter 26, but for the sake of time, I am going to summarize to you what happens.

David escapes Saul's wrath, and in his confusion about what he did wrong, he laments to Jonathan about what is up. So Jonathan and David come up with a plan that David will miss some set meals, and if Saul gets angry, David will know to flee, but if Saul doesn’t care, David knows he can return to Saul's court. The way that they decided they would communicate this is Jonathan will shoot an arrow in the direction of David. If it lands before David, he can return. If the arrow lands after David, he needs to flee. That part to me seemed unnecessary, especially knowing the story; I will let you all know why in a second. SO Jonathan goes and has the meal with his dad, Saul, Saul gets angry and just about kills Jonathan because David is missing. So Jonathan heads out shoots an arrow at David (not recommended), and so David knows he must leave, but here is the part that makes me laugh, David stands up, looks at Jonathan, and Jonathan informs David that he needs to flee. So these two guys figured it would be a good idea to shoot arrows at each other to communicate, even though they were going to communicate face-to-face anyway. Seriously it is in Chapter 20:41-42, my wife hates this saying, but sometimes I think it is true no matter the era “Boys will be boys?”

Anyways, as the story goes, David has two opportunities to kill Saul and eliminate the threat to him, but because of David's faithfulness to God, and also his Faithfulness to his friend Jonathan, David doesn’t harm Saul. In fact, in Chapter 24, Saul is relieving himself in a cave that David is hiding in, and David crawls up to Saul as he is doing his business, takes out his knife and cuts off the corner of Saul's robe. Once Saul was outside, David went after Saul and said look, I could have killed you like you want to kill me, but because I have respect for God, I didn’t harm you. Saul then kind of laments… a little. But then he pursues David again a little bit later, and while Saul is sleeping, David and his men sneak into Saul's camp, and they take from Saul's side his personal spear and water jug. When David got out of the camp again he called out to Saul and Saul realized that again David could have killed him, but because of David's respect and loyalty to God and his friend Jonathan, he didn’t touch him.

See, sometimes we are pushed into situations with our friends, maybe not as severely as David’s situation, but the way our friends react to those situations shows you what a true friend is.

David was indeed a true friend to Jonathan and a true follower of God, and because of such he modelled that friend we read about in 1 Thessalonians 5.

So my final question to you is

How do you find true friends who will honour you no matter what, willingly lifting you up to God the Father in prayer, and painstakingly admonishing you when needed. And then how can you be that friend to others?