Leading your Children Spiritually

Introduction

Talk about the spiritual potential that our kids have.

If there is one practice that has fallen away more than any other practice in Christian parenting, it is this practice of family devotions. With the busyness of life, we have given up on a most practical and necessary practice in our Christian life. If it is so important for you to spend time with God in private devotions, how much is it also important to spend time in family devotions.

Jonathan Edwards, an 18th century pastor and theologian, said that,

“Every Christian family ought to be, as it were, a little church.”

If every family were dedicated to this pursuit don’t you think we might be able to see America in Revival just like Jonathan Edwards did.

Tonight my goal is to lay a foundation for why we should practice family devotions, gives some guidance from the bible on what to do in our devotions, and them some practical helps that might get you started.

The Biblical Practice of Family Devotions

Most of the message is going to focus on one passage tonight, but I want to briefly give you and overview on the biblical basis for family devotions. This concept is not one that is just found in one OT law that may not apply to us. The spiritual training of our children is a theme that runs throughout the entire bible. I will skip the most obvious verse because that is our text, but let’s start with the book of Psalms.

1. God desires for his commands and our faith to be passed down from generation to generation. This even includes our grandchildren. Psalms 78:1-8 “Give ear, O my people, to my law: Incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: Which we have heard and known, And our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, Shewing to the generation to come The praises of the Lord, and his strength, And his wonderful works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, And appointed a law in Israel, Which he commanded our fathers, That they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; Who should arise and : That they might set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, But keep his commandments: And might not be as their fathers, A stubborn and rebellious generation; A generation that set not their heart aright, And whose spirit was not stedfast with God.”

2. We see evidence of a heritage of faith passed down in Timothy’s family. 2 Tim 1:5 “When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.”

3. But how did Timothy receive that faith? He was taught the holy scriptures when he was a child by his mother and his grandmother. 2 Tim 3:14-17 “But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.”

From these passages, we see that while family devotions may not be commanded, there is an expectation that we would pass on our faith to our children. Every man wants to leave some sort of a heritage behind. Some men build skyscrapers, others monuments, others a wealthy inheritance to leave to their kids. Mine: I want to leave spiritual giants in my wake.

The Practice of Family Devotions

Let’s go ahead and turn to Deut 6:1-15. This is probably the classic passage on the topic of family devotions. When I was away I didn’t have tons of time to spend pouring over commentaries on this passage, but the Lord allowed me to meditate on the passage more deeply. In my meditation, I asked four questions of this passage:

What is God commanding them to do?

Teach them- Deut 6:7 to teach here means to impress on them by repetition and admonition certain lessons. I have often thought that it was just alright if we casually talk about spiritual things with our kids and that is all we do, but that is not the meaning of this passage alone. Teaching is intentional. There really is an expectation that we would sit our kids down and teach them very specific lessons. We cannot leave this to chance and hope they catch it from just how we live. It needs to be spoken, It needs to be applied and it needs to be direct.

Talk about them- Deut 6:7 But just merely giving them formal times of teaching isn’t enough either. Have you ever attended a class like Math class and then never thought about it again? We easily compartmentalize things in our lives. Why do you think so many Christians come to church on Sunday, but live like the world the rest of the week. As parents, we must show our children that the bible speaks to every area of our life. It’s influence should be felt when we get up in the morning, as we go about our day and make different decisions, and when we relax and prepare for bed.

Remind them- Deut 6: 12 God also wants us to continually remind our kids of these things. It isn’t enough to hear a lesson one time. It takes repetition and reminders to fully learn a truth. How many times do we teach front- end rounding to our children in school. I have had to teach lessons to my kids every year seemingly from second grade until eighth grade. It takes hearing more than once so we don’t forget. The word diligently is part of the verb but it carries the idea of repeatedly.

Why does God want them to teach these things to their children?

God is jealous over our families Vs 15- The world has plenty of families. Satan has destroyed enough of them, so why should we let him have ours. Jealousy in God is merely a passionate desire to protect the relationship that God has with us. He does not want to loose that connection with His people. Our families matter to God. 1 Cor 7:14 “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.”

God commands it- If for no other reason, we should take this seriously because God commanded it. Clearly we are not under the OT law, but the principle of spiritually leading your family is repeated in the NT.

Teaching them these things will bring blessings to our families. Vs 3 God promises blessing on those who do these things. Think of the blessing it would be to have children who love the Lord, spend time with Him and seek to do what is right. I can’t think of any other blessing I would rather have for my family.

What should I be teaching to my children?

To fear God- Deut 6:2 to fear God is to stand in awe of God. When Israel stood at the foot of the Mount Sinai, they were afraid of the Majesty and Glory of God. Piper defines the tension of this term thus: “Reverence is the combination of admiration & fear, awe & dread, wonder & terror. It's an emotion that we were made to experience." (Piper) I don’t think we convey to our children the greatness of God and a proper fear of God in their lives sometimes. Most children’s ministries make God to be the kid next door. If our children get a glimpse of the greatness, they would not be so casual about disobeying him.

To obey God- Deut 6:3- Satan’s biggest lie is that obedience can never bring happiness. God here promises blessing for obedience to the Jews. We don’t have to over spiritualize this. When we do things God’s way, life just works out better doesn’t it. Think of all the destruction that disobeying God actually brings to people’s lives. Lies, adultery, murder, hate, unforgiveness; sin brings destruction. Broken relationships, ruined lives, accidents and hurts, unemployment, disease, bankruptcy, poverty, homelessness and even death can all be results of sin in our lives.

Who God is- Vs 4 is the most important line in all of Judaism. It is the creed that defines their whole religion. Jehovah alone is God. As parents we need to teach our children to know this God. But notice the little word our God. If we can teach them nothing else, we need to teach our children to have a personal relationship with God.

To love God- I have already mentioned this in parenting: we can teach our children right from wrong, but if we do not teach them to love God, it will all be for nothing. I love this verse because sometimes we limit loving God to an intellectual exercise. But here God commands us to love him with all. Jesus later quoting this passage would say our heart, soul and mind and strength. This is all of us: our emotions, our thoughts, our will and our passion. Somehow I need to teach my children to passionately love God with their entire being.

How should I be teaching these things to my children?

Singing

Vs 4- The Shama is a song that was sung twice daily. Sing the Shema Yisrael Adonai eluhainu Adonai echad. Singing allows us to enter into what is being taught both emotionally and mentally. We are more likely to remember something if it has been made into a song.

Catechism

Vs 4 Catechism is a system of giving questions and truths to teach basic biblical doctrine. The shama is a form of a repeated truth to be memorized by the Jews. In essence it was a creed to be memorized, recited and sung exactly as it was written. No interpretation or change.

Memorization and Meditation

Vs 6 shall be in thine heart -This point is so important. When we teach our children, we should not just teach them to read the bible. Even Memorization is not enough because memorization merely puts it into the mind. If we want God’s word to get into their hearts, we need to teach them how to meditate on God’s word.

Repeatedly

Vs 7 diligently- You can’t just teach your children once and expect it to stick. The process of training your children may require you to go over the same thing multiple times.

Dialogue

Vs 7- shalt talk of them. I don’t think we as parents spend enough time talking to our kids about anything let alone spiritual things. Sometimes the most important conversations are the impromptu conversations about life. We have an opportunity to connect their lives with God’s word as we go throughout the day. But let your kids talk, ask them questions and encourage them to come up with questions on their own.

Reminders

vs 12 beware lest thou forget, this ties into the idea of repeatedly teaching them. But we need to remind them when they are not thinking God’s thoughts about something.

Environment

Vs 9- God had the Jews place reminders around them by placing scripture on their hands and foreheads, in the decor of their house and the doorway.

Ultimately the goal of teaching these things to my children is to get it into their hearts. Vs 6

Practical Tips for Conducting a Family Devotion Time

My practice for family devotions-

Right now I have a goal in mind for what I want to teach my children. I don’t just read some random passage all though if you are just starting out that is a good place to begin.

We let each of the kids pick a song to sing for family worship. Allowing them to pick the song gets them excited and participating in the direction of family worship.

Devotion- I try to bring a bible devotion that deals with the topic I have previously picked out for devotions. The best way to communicate this time of devotions is not to preach a message at them, but to encourage dialogue. Ask questions and discuss the answers. Bring it to a practical application so they know that the bible speaks to their life situations.

Prayer time- I allow the kids to give one prayer request. Sometimes I will pray and sometimes I will let one of the kids pray.

Thanksgiving- I want my children to remember that every good gift comes from God and develop an attitude of gratitude; so we go around and give something we are all thankful for. No one is allowed to repeat what someone else said so that they learn to actually think about it. Possibly start with the youngest and work to the oldest so the oldest has to do more of the thinking.

Be willing to change it up. Sometimes we do bible quizzing from a deck of bible trivia cards. Sometimes we will watch a Christian movie together. Other times we have an activity that reinforces a biblical truth we are trying to teach. I haven’t done this yet, but I remember Dennis Rainey talking about bringing in a cow tongue and sticking it in a box. The kids would reach in and try to guess what was in the box. The purpose of the lesson was to teach on the tongue. Consider going on an outing to do something spiritual.

Family Devotion books- There are some on the market. You will have to look through them to see if they are what you want. We bought this one at the focus on the family book store in Colorado Springs.

Family Devotion activity book- This book contains 50 different bible based activities that you can do with your kids. Each activity has a lesson to go along with it.

Try to have a set time for your family devotions. Our time is right after dinner in the living room. There are days that I am not home so I can’t always lead in family devotions. This isn’t some legalistic requirement that you must have, but it is a helpful training experience and an expression of our love for God. I have even included visitors in our house in our time of devotions because it is so important. Use wisdom but don’t be shy.

Father’s should take the lead- Men God has called you to be the spiritual leader of your home. This is part of your responsibility to guide your family to love and serve God. Remember the verse in Psalm 78:1-4 “Give ear, O my people, to my law: Incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: Which we have heard and known, And our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, Shewing to the generation to come The praises of the Lord, and his strength, And his wonderful works that he hath done.” The state of your children’s spiritual walk with the Lord comes down to you and it cannot be delegated to someone else. The church can’t do this for you. The school can’t do this for you. Even your wife can’t do this for you though she can help. The buck stops with you.

Conclusion

If you want to take a look at any of these books that I have down here, I will have them on the front pew for you to look at. If I could challenge you with one idea, it would be this: If this seems to be a monumental task for you to begin, start small. Something is always better than nothing. I generally spend about 30 minutes (PS I don’t recommend much longer than this, you want family devotions to be a good time not a drudgery to the kids), but if you can’t do that consider just reading a passage and singing a hymn with your kids before getting down from the dinner table.

Heads bowed and eyes closed. Men specifically tonight, how many of you would raise your hands and say, Pastor Shirk, pray for me I have not been the Spiritual leader in my home and by God’s grace tonight I am deciding I will step up in this area. Would you raise your hand. Thankyou put them down. When the piano play in a moment, I challenge you to cement that decision by coming forward and making a commitment to God tonight. Raising godly children does not happen by accident.