Real Connection

So far in his letter we’ve seen how he thanked God for the evidence of their true salvation. We’ve also observed a bit of how Paul expressed A.W.E. for how the Thessalonians encountered the gospel.

As we continue into the next several verses of the first letter, Paul demonstrates how he experienced and expressed a real connection with the Thessalonians - but this was more than superficial or familial - this was biblical, godly, kingdom.

Paul demonstrates first of all that…

Real connection is a heart matter (2:17-18; 3:6-8)

Earlier in the letter, Paul talked about how he acted toward them with tenderness - like a mother with a nursing child and with instruction like a father. In this section he communicates a deeper, more intimate affection.

1 Thessalonians 2:17–18 ESV

But since we were torn away from you, brothers, for a short time, in person not in heart, we endeavored the more eagerly and with great desire to see you face to face, because we wanted to come to you—I, Paul, again and again—but Satan hindered us.

The separation that he experienced from the Thessalonians was clearly not his intention or desire. The image of being torn away like a child being orphaned from a parent has a visceral implication. In addition to that, the Greek word that is translated “desire” is elsewhere translated as lust or craving. He has a heart-felt, passionate connection with these believers. Maybe it was the manner in which he had to leave them. It’s possible that they connected so deeply, so quickly that he was emotionally and spiritually united with them.

When he finally heard about the fact that they were standing firm in the faith brought him comfort and even a breath of life.

1 Thessalonians 3:6–8 NLT

But now Timothy has just returned, bringing us good news about your faith and love. He reports that you always remember our visit with joy and that you want to see us as much as we want to see you. So we have been greatly encouraged in the midst of our troubles and suffering, dear brothers and sisters, because you have remained strong in your faith. It gives us new life to know that you are standing firm in the Lord.

It seems that Paul not only preached to them, but he knew them And they knew him and had a fondness for him.

Tim Keller, in preaching on this passage shared that when he was early on in his career as a pastor, an elder pastor in the city was visiting people in the hospital and called people out by name - nurses, doctors, patients. He knew people. He told Tim, “you can preach great sermons like Charles Spurgeon, but if you don’t know people, they won’t change.”

We must be willing to know and be known. Not just a face or a place in a pew, but more deeply - not by everyone or even every Elder, but by some. There should be a heartfelt connection. Frankly, it’s difficult to have that if we only sit on the periphery. But if we engage in service together or get to know one another in Community Groups, then there is a deeper, heart-felt connection. I heartfelt connection will require some vulnerability. I don’t think we need to be open books with everyone. That’s unhealthy and unhelpful. It will necessitate connecting at a deeper level.

David Ballast - college, prayer, don’t talk much, but when we saw each other a few years ago, it was a joyous reunion and a little like picking up where we left off.

So, Paul demonstrates that Godly connection is a matter of the heart. He also exhibits that...

Real connection is a hand matter (3:1-5)

In other words, Godly connection requires some action.

Paul, felt like he was being hindered by Satan from coming personally, but that didn’t stop him from taking action.

1 Thessalonians 3:1–5 NLT

Finally, when we could stand it no longer, we decided to stay alone in Athens, and we sent Timothy to visit you. He is our brother and God’s co-worker in proclaiming the Good News of Christ. We sent him to strengthen you, to encourage you in your faith, and to keep you from being shaken by the troubles you were going through. But you know that we are destined for such troubles. Even while we were with you, we warned you that troubles would soon come—and they did, as you well know. That is why, when I could bear it no longer, I sent Timothy to find out whether your faith was still strong. I was afraid that the tempter had gotten the best of you and that our work had been useless.

Obviously, in the first century, they didn’t have all of the means of connection and communication that we have. Letters were difficult to write as papyrus may have been tough to come by. What’s more they had to be hand delivered. Transportation was often long and tedious.

I think this is one of the reasons why Paul was so intent on not doing things alone. He was constantly pouring himself into other men and then releasing them to serve the churches. He had invested in Timothy and then now sent him not as a junior worker but rather as a “brother and God’s coworker.”

In a similar way I think we need to be people of action.

(possible example of action - call, email, prayer, time - maybe Ned/Meg, Pete/John, )

There are times when people go through very difficult things that it causes some people to avoid them. It’s not that they don’t want to do something, it’s that they don’t know what to do or what to say.

In a time of mourning, maybe we can do like Job’s friends did in the beginning of that book and simply sit with someone. As you read through the book, you find that that might have been the best thing they did - because when they opened their mouths, things only got worse.

We often want to give people space to grieve and adjust - when maybe we should politely step in and provide a meal or pick up the phone or offer a ride. Sure, it’s polite to say “let me know what I can do to help.” But if we’re honest, we know that most people won’t ask until they are desperate.

It may not be bad things that are happening. The Holy Spirit may simply bring someone to your mind. What a great time to take action and send them a text or call them. Let them know you’re thinking about them.

Demonstrate your real connection with your hands.

In addition to being matter of the heart and hands,

Real connection is a head matter (3:9-10)

There are some relationships in our lives that have an overly emotional element. We can be so tied up into being liked or loved that we fail to be able to communicate the hard things that need to be said. I’m guilty of that.

Paul, on the other hand, was not. He felt a deep, spiritual and emotional affection for the Thessalonians, but he also kept his head about him.

1 Thessalonians 3:9–10 NET

For how can we thank God enough for you, for all the joy we feel because of you before our God? We pray earnestly night and day to see you in person and make up what may be lacking in your faith.

Keller notes that Paul is essentially saying, “I can’t wait to see you again so that I can address your shortcomings.”

Paul could essentially be quoting the Coldplay lyrics - “I will try to fix you.”

There are times when in love and affection we will need to be willing to say difficult things. We will need to address wrong thinking or actions or habits or language. We have to remember that it’s often only when we have that heart and hand connection that we have the relational capital to make the head connection - to say the difficult and challenging things.

(possible illustration: Rosaria Butterfield interview with Kevin DeYoung on her book - and the difference between acceptance and affirmation)

affirmation - would celebrate all that a person says they are - whether or not it’s biblical or sinful or true.

acceptance - sees others as created in God’s image, but still fallen. Which means that our identity is in who God created us to be, not in the expression of our sinful inclinations

Tim Keller noted in his sermon on this passage that:

connect with our hearts, but fail to connect with our heads

we want their approval

we want dependence - either our dependence on them or theirs on us

we are not after their joy

we will not give them criticism

When we engage with only our head and not our heart also, Keller notes:

we are judgmental

telling the truth to pay them back

we likely go beyond what can be documented (?)

tells the truth to push people away,

But, when we connect with people with our hearts and our head, we end up as people who will tell the truth to draw people closer, to redeem, not punish.

In addition to having heart, hand, and head elements, Paul exemplifies that...

Real connection is a heavenly matter (3:11-13)

We can be a part of a variety of different communities.

Crafting communities

Young moms

Golfing buddies

Town of Poolesville community connections

Political connections

Neighborhoods

Sports teams connections - and so much more.

Language

Ethnic

But in our relationship with each other, because of Jesus Christ, there is a heavenly or eternal element. We are united with each other through Jesus Christ. Our relationship is not simply horizontal - there is a vertical connection. Paul addresses that beautifully by demonstrating how he is depending on God to act and move in certain ways in order to accomplish something in the lives of the Thessalonians.

1 Thessalonians 3:11–13 ESV

Now may our God and Father himself, and our Lord Jesus, direct our way to you, and may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you, so that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints.

He knows that God is the one who will make a way for Paul and his companions to get to them. It is God who will cause them to increase in their love for each other and even outsiders. It is God who will grow them in holiness. Ultimately, it is God the Son who will return to reign.

So how do our relationships take on a heavenly element? Through prayer.

We can certainly be praying for one another’s requests. We put some of them in the prayer list that is available online. Some of these are things that the elders pray for in the Pastoral Prayer. But we can also be praying bigger, deeper things for each other.

One of the things that gets rotated through the prayer list is a series of prayers that Paul and Jesus prayed for believers. These include:

Unity/Harmony - Romans 15:5-6; John 17:20-23

Growth in understanding - Ephesians 1:16-23

Fruitfulness - Colossians 1:9-10

Endurance in hardships - Colossians 1:11-12

Quick and Thorough Forgiveness - 1 Tim.4:16; Luke 23:34; Acts 7:60

Growing in Godliness - Ephesians 3:14-19

This prayer list is available each week in the Midweek email. Consider printing that out and then also having the directory with you. As you pray - maybe for just a page of people each day - pray for the needs that you know about, but also pray scripture over them. We’ll likely be publishing a new directory in the new year - but Reneta would be happy to print one out for you or email you a digital version if you reach out to her.

What a joy we have interceding for each other - growing in our affection and acknowledging that God is the one who is acting.

So, we’ve seen that how Paul exhibited the heart, hand, head, and heavenly elements to Godly connections. There is one final element that Paul exhibits - that...

Real connection is a heavy matter (2:19-20)

Just before noting that he sent Timothy to check on how the Thessalonians were fairing, Paul asks and answers a question that speaks to his motivation for his investment in them.

1 Thessalonians 2:19–20 ESV

For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? For you are our glory and joy.

Now, this boasting language is something that comes up at different times in Paul’s letters. Sometimes he boasts in his suffering (2 Cor. 11). Other times he states the he will boast in his weakness (2 Cor. 11; 12). Still other times he says that he will boast only in Christ and him crucified (Gal. 6:14).

So what is this boasting? How are the Thessalonians part of his “crown of boasting” when Jesus returns?

Michael Holmes notes in his commentary that “At some point in the future, believers will be evaluated with respect to their stewardship of the ministry entrusted to them by God.” So the fact that the Thessalonians have a genuine and sustaining faith is evidence that Paul and his companions were faithfully stewarding the ministry to which God had called them.

I think it’s important to think of this not so much as a badge of honor or an award for Paul, but means for rejoicing.

Even toward the end of his life, Paul told Timothy

2 Timothy 4:6–8 ESV

For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.

This rejoicing, boasting or even glory is heavy because of the eternal weight - both of the discipler, in this case Paul, and for the disciplee, the Thessalonians.

In our lives though, in the connections that we make, are we being people who are pouring into others? Are we making an eternal impact - not simply by sharing the gospel, but also discipling other believers? Are our connections real enough, authentic enough - in heart, hand, head and heavenly means, so that we can create opportunities to make a heavy, eternal impact?

Are we all called to be Paul’s? No. We will get to use our gifts and abilities in different ways. But being a faithful steward is being someone who makes the most of what God as called him or her to be.

Closing thoughts

I don’t think God has called use to be equally close to everyone in the church. That’s impractical and probably impossible. But I do think that we need to have some close, godly, genuine connections. There should be a few people who are making an impact in our lives and in whose lives we are making an impact.

Katie

we met when she was 14 - her dad and I served together

She loved music

was introverted

sincere in her faith

studied music in school

as a teacher here in the county - she has continued to pour into students - she used her musical gifts and abilities as a bridge to help these students grow in their knowledge and understanding of the Lord. She volunteered in the youth and worship ministries and tried to include these students. She can’t control the outcomes of their lives, but she can control what she poured into them spiritually. She loved them with her

heart - she developed a godly tenderness toward these students,

connected with her hands by spending time with them (music, family, special events),

instructed with her head - correcting when needed, helping them see the value of who God made them to be - even in the midst of the difficulties of life

depended on God (heaven) by praying for and with them regularly.

I don’t think her motivation is the reward or glory she may receive - but I believe when she passes from this life, God the Father will welcome her with open arms and say - “well done”

The Lord’s supper

In all of this, though, we are called to connect because that is what Jesus did for us.

heart - in love - he came into this world, laid aside his glory in order to be like us.

hands - lived perfectly, healed, ultimately laid down his life in exchange for ours

head - taught the ways of God and corrected when our faulty thinking/acting - accepting us for who we are but not affirming our sinful choices

heavenly - prayed for us and continues to intercede

heavy - what a joy that will be when we gather around his throne at the marriage supper of the lamb - and feast with him. The joy/glory - when people from every nation, tribe, and language are singing his praises.

Have you responded to his connection?

The Supper:

a fore-shadowing of that feast

a symbol of our connection with Jesus

a picture of his sacrifice

Let’s pray.

Benediction:

(let’s go ahead and do a moment of silence after the benediction)

1 Thessalonians 3:12–13 (ESV)

...may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you, so that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints.

Discussion Questions

How can we grow in our love/affection for each other?

What are some practical ways that we can connect with others with our “hands” (time, energy, etc.)?

Do you fear correcting others? How does a loving heart correlate with clear thinking about each other?

What do you pray for others in the church? How does this passage challenge us to adjust how we pray for others?

Who are you pouring into? How is that evident?

Who would you consider part of your crown - because you’ve been faithful?

Have you responded to his connection?

Sources:

Constable, Thomas L. “1 Thessalonians.” In The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, edited by J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck. Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985.

Green, Gene L. The Letters to the Thessalonians. The Pillar New Testament Commentary. Grand Rapids, MI; Leicester, England: W.B. Eerdmans Pub.; Apollos, 2002.

Keller, Timothy, “How Ministers Serve the Church” https://gospelinlife.com/downloads/how-ministers-serve-the-church-6446/

Holmes, Michael. 1 and 2 Thessalonians. The NIV Application Commentary. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1998.

Spurgeon, C. H. “The Pastor’s Life Wrapped up with His People’s Steadfastness: A Pleading Reminder for the New Year.” In The Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit Sermons, 30:7–14. London: Passmore & Alabaster, 1884.

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