Unity In Service

Selfishness

Philippians 2:3 NASB95

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;

Selfishness is the state of being concerned excessively with oneself, or one’s advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others. It is taking care of yourself without regard for anyone else.

UNSELFISH AND HAPPY

A fascinating study on the principle of the Golden Rule was conducted by Bernard Rimland, director of the Institute for Child Behavior Research. Rimland found that "The happiest people are those who help others."

Each person involved in the study was asked to list ten people he knew best and to label them as happy or not happy. Then they were to go through the list again and label each one as selfish or unselfish, using the following definition of selfishness: a stable tendency to devote one’s time and resources to one’s own interests and welfare--an unwillingness to inconvenience one’s self for others."

In categorizing the results, Rimland found that all of the people labeled happy were also labeled unselfish. He wrote that those "whose activities are devoted to bringing themselves happiness...are far less likely to be happy than those whose efforts are devoted to making others happy" Rimland concluded: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

SOURCE: Martin & Diedre Bobgan, How To Counsel From Scripture, Moody Press, 1985, p. 123. CITATION: Rimland, ’The Altruism Paradox,’ Psychological Reports 51 [1982]: 521,522.)

SOMEONE HAS TO GROW UP

“We’re all selfish. Selfish to the core. God sometimes chooses to deal with our selfishness by giving us someone to care for who is infinitely more selfish than you. Babies are not only the cutest creatures on the face of the earth, they are by far the most selfish. Farrar goes on to write: “The way God deals with my own selfishness is to give me someone to serve who has zero interest in serving me. You can’t tell me that God doesn’t have a sense of humor. Not too many people in the world could out-selfish me one-on-one. But every time we’ve had a baby, I’ve met my match. Each of my kids resembled me. I don’t mean they looked like me, I mean they were as selfish as me. That meant that somebody in the family was going to have to grow up. Guess who was nominated?"

SOURCE: Steve Farrar in Point Man.

When a person is selfish they are never satisfied. A selfish spirit is a self consuming spirit because it can never get enough. Consequently, they are in a persistent state of misery.

When a person is unselfish they find joy in helping others. This person is typically a person of gratitude and desires to share what they are thankful for with others.

In what areas do you find yourself selfish?

In what areas do you find yourself as giving?

Conceited

Conceit means to have a higher image of yourself. It is basically pride. When you think more highly of your self than you should, you develop a sense of entitlement. This means everyone owes you something, rather than you giving to others.

PRIDE AND GREED SPOIL RELATIONSHIPS Are you so focused on your career, your raise and your ambitions for the future that you fail to realize the gift of relationships that God has given you today? The second rule is that people come before possessions and positions. Otherwise, you might find yourself getting near the end of the game and you find that you have no one to share it with. John Ortberg tells the story in his book, "When the Game Is Over, It All Goes back in the Box." Armand Hammer was the President and CEO of Occidental Petroleum for many years. He was a giant of capitalism and a confidant of world leaders. He was a towering figure on the world scene. But after his death, the true picture of this man became clear. He got his start laundering money for the Soviets. After he made his money, he paid authors to write fictitious autobiographies of his life to impress other people. When he was a young man almost ready to graduate from medical school, he performed an abortion and almost killed the woman. His father took the blame for this and spent two years in prison, and the son never spoke up and said he did it. He neglected his own son and never acknowledged the daughter he conceived out of wedlock. He had no friends in his company where he freely fired his executives. When his brother died, he sued his brother’s estate for $667,000 of the $700,000 estate, keeping the money from his brother’s wife who was in a nursing home and his brother’s children. When he died, his own son did not attend the funeral, and the only people who carried his casket were those who were paid to take care of him in his home. So here’s the question, did he win or lose at the game of life? (From a sermon by Tim Smith, Game Over: When It All Goes Back in the Box, 10/19/2009)

Conceit will rob a person of the true value of life. These are relationships.

Paul writes here that we are to avoid conceit. He actually calls it empty conceit. This means there is no value in being conceited. There is always going to be someone better than you. Be okay with that.

Be Humble

Humble means showing a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance. I would go one step further and say believing in a modest estimate of one’s importance. Many people may have false humility and use it for their own advantage. They will use it as a means of manipulation. They will give the sense of humility to get something from someone and leverage it for their own good.

A person that is truly humble will always have a motive to serve others. They will be less interested in themselves and look for ways to help others.

John MacArthur says:

“The cost of true greatness is humble, selfless, sacrificial service. The Christian who desires to be great and first in the kingdom is the one who is willing to serve in the hard place, the demanding place, the place where he is not appreciated and may even be persecuted. Knowing that time is short and eternity is long, he is willing to spend and be spent. He is willing to work for excellence without becoming proud, to withstand criticism without becoming bitter, to be misjudged without becoming defensive, to withstand suffering without succumbing to self-pity.” (The MacArthur NT Commentary, MT. 16-23. Chicago: Moody, 1988. 243).

GETTING KNOCKED DOWN? HUMBLY WALK

There was a woman who was going through some very difficult and trying circumstances. She was experiencing major distress in her marriage, her job was very unfulfilling and was causing her heartache. She became so distraught over her circumstances that she felt like just giving up. She felt lonely, dejected and very isolated. She had tried everything she could to better herself, her marriage, things at work but it seemed everything turned out horrible for her. Finally she came to the point of exhaustion and felt there was no way out of her terrible circumstances and there would never be any more joy in her life. One day she was sitting in her kitchen very frustrated and lonely. She sat there for a long time and just wept.

Then she noticed a small sparrow had somehow gotten into her kitchen, so she opened the door thinking the sparrow would simply fly out the door. To her surprise the sparrow kept flying into the closed window that was just above the door. This distraught woman noticed several times that the sparrow would fly directly into the top of the window thinking it was an opening to freedom and each time colliding into glass of the window. This small sparrow after each time hitting the window would become weaker and weaker. The woman also noticed the sparrow hitting the window lower and lower each time he flew into the window until he got so weak that he couldn’t even fly, all he could to was walk. Then she noticed this little sparrow very slowly, simply walked through the door to freedom. As she observed this little bird walk through the door, the sparrow began to regain his strength and he flew off into the air free again.

It was as though God literally opened her spiritual eyes. She realized in just about every area of her life she was behaving just like this sparrow. She was trying in her own way to get out of the confining situations she was in, each time being knocked down in defeat. In reacting harshly to her family members - knocked down! Not giving her best at work - knocked down! Paying back evil for evil done to her - knocked down! Saying and doing things she knew were wrong - knocked down! She finally realized that all she had to do was do just like this sparrow - to very humbly walk in the power of God’s grace and mercy and allow Him to work out all her heartaches and difficulties.

(From a sermon by Ajai Prakash, Get up OR Give up?, 10/21/2009)

Regard Others As More Important

What does this mean? Does it mean that we are to be a door mat for people to run over? Does it mean do whatever some else tells us to do? Obviously not.

To regard someone as more important than yourself is to be willing to serve them in the capacity that God calls you to. We should not look down on someone because of their past. We should not use worldly standards to value a person. For example, because a person does not have a high IQ we should not see them as any less than someone that has a high IQ. We should not value someone less because they are in a lower socio economical class.

When we regard others as more important than ourselves, we find joy in serving them. One of my favorite things I get to participate in is the “Special Games” for our students that have mental challenges. We get to set up all the games and interact with these special students. It is a joy because they are so happy to be participating. I get inspiration from them because they are not concerned about winning, but just participating. It is truly a humbling experience!

Look Out For the Interest of Others

When we are truly humble, we will look out for the interest of others.

Peanut Butter Theology Contributed by Todd Catteau on May 27, 2015 (message contributor) I don’t like peanut butter. Some people get very upset when I tell them that. It’s nothing personal. It’s not a character flaw. I just don’t like it. I don’t even like the smell of it. My mother told me I ate a lot of peanut butter when I was young, so maybe I just reached my limit. My two daughters, however, do like peanut butter and that caused a bit of a problem. When they were elementary school age I would on occasion make their lunches and one of their favorites was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I dutifully made their sandwiches making sure that I would use the knife first in the jelly, which I like, so that there would be no peanut butter residue in the jelly jar. I abhorred (that may be a little strong, but you know the feeling) when I would put jelly on my toast and detect that faint but distinct taste of peanut butter that was a result of some careless peanut butter lover contaminating my jelly with a peanut-butter-infected knife. I was not going to let that happen on my watch! Anyway, I would make their sandwiches and send the little darlings off to school knowing that come lunch time they would enjoy their sandwiches and give thanks to God above for their devoted father who so lovingly prepared their lunch. One day one of my daughters said she needed to talk to me about their lunches, in particular about their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I was prepared to hear my praises sung as the world’s greatest PB&J maker when I was shocked to hear her complaint. Apparently I had been going a bit overboard with the jelly and skimping on the peanut butter. Jelly was oozing out the sandwich drowning out the taste of the peanut butter. That, of course, was my intention! My rationale was the more jelly the better. I loved jelly and shouldn’t everyone else. I was thinking that in order to offset the nastiness of peanut butter one needed as much jelly as two pieces of bread could possibly hold. I was giving her what I liked, not what she liked. I was being influenced by my preferences and oblivious to hers. Her simple and reasonable request was less jelly and more peanut butter. At the end of my freshman year in college I began dating a girl. During the summer we exchanged letters and it was her custom to end each letter with a scripture, not the whole scripture but just the reference. One of her letters ended with Philippians 2:3, 4. I eagerly opened my Bible anticipating that this was some verse in the Bible extolling some virtue she had seen in me (by this time you probably see I suffer from delusions of grandeur, both as a father and a boyfriend) only to find these words: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. It hit me that day that I often, if not always, look out for my interests above the interests of others. The same feeling hit me that day when my daughter asked me for more peanut butter and less jelly. So often I impose on others my likes, my preferences, my desires rather than consider their likes, their preference, their desires. I don’t understand how anyone can like peanut butter, but this little encounter with my school-aged daughter taught me that in order to be a good PB&J maker, or for that matter in order to be a good father or a good husband or a good friend, I need to sometimes get past that terrible smell and spread on the peanut butter good and thick! For more resources go to catteau.net