A Positive Commandment (Oct. 1, 2023) Ex. 20.12

We come today to the fifth commandment or promise. In this commandment we find the hinge of the tables, for here the injunctions swing from reverence to God to how to live with the humans that are a part of the Hebrews lives. It is the beginning of the second tablet that goes from theology to ethics.

It is said that this commandment is related to both tablets of the Law. It is related to the first tablet in that it calls for the honoring of those in authority and that would include God. Relation to the second is more easily understood. It calls for honoring those who are the closest to us and for those who bring us the beginning of our humanity, our father and mother.

This commandment is also connected to the fourth in that it is a positive commandment. Indeed, the words no or not do not occur in this commandment while they are found in all the other commandments that come before and after. This makes for a positive commandment that resonates with us and encourages us to obey freely where the others, well, we feel compelled to obey.

So, what is this commandment and why is it still important for us today? You may say “I honor or honored my parents from the time I was a child. How does this commandment really speak to me?” It is because this commandment is not really intended for children. Paul in Ephesians did bring it to children, but the original audience was adults. Why? Because in the time that the Law was given, lifespans were a tad shorter than those today. A person who reached the age of 50 was considered blessed. A person who reached the age of 60 and beyond was considered extraordinarily blessed. So, someone who reached these ages had adult children. They would also be less active and needing care as they would not be able to work as they once did. This was especially true of widows who did not have anyone to turn to aside from family when her husband died. Usually, the older family members would reside with the children and there would be a multigenerational household. This was true in more modern times as well. Aging parents would be living with adult children and their families. It has only been in the last 100 years or so that this was not the case. And today you rarely see a multigenerational home. Most of the time the aging parents live in the home they where they have lived in for many years and the children live somewhere else, many times far away from the parents. So, this commandment is speaking to the adult children of those who are aged and needing care. These are the ones to whom the adult children are to honor.

Honor. We have a different idea than what the Hebrews did of how to honor someone. In our society, to give honor is to give praise and glory to the one being honored. In the Hebrew the word means to “weigh heavily upon, to be heavy, to give weight”. The honor that the Hebrews give is to be giving weight to what the aged among them are saying. The words of wisdom and insight are to be weighed heavily by those who are in their so called prime of life. Where would we be without the wisdom of our elders? It is funny how things change with how one views parents and elders. When one is a young child, the parents can do no wrong (remember the My dad can beat up your dad?). Then as the child grows older, the peer groups come into play and the parents stock begins to sink a little. When a teenager, oh dear, mom and dad are so out of touch. But then something occurs; the child begins to see the father and mother in a different light. Mark Twain said that when he was sixteen his father was the stupidest man that he knew, but by the age of twenty-one it was amazing what the old man had learned in five years. Is that not the case for most of us. It may be that we say, “Oh no, I respected my parents all the time”. Please. Let’s take off the rose-colored glasses and be honest. We must say that there were times when we did not give weight to our parents wisdom and teachings. We did what the Hebrews would say “making light” of them.

In passages that follow this commandment, there are specific instances of what not honoring parents looks like. These would be striking parents or cursing them. This is not a slap on the back or a pat on the cheek or even a playful jab to the arm. No, this is striking them with intent to injure. And cursing them is not using foul language against the parents (though that is not encouraged) but rather calling down curses upon them that God would harm them. The penalty is rather strict for these offences: death. You may say, “We have no need of these today. We are civilized folk who would never do any of this.” But as pointed out by Albert Curry Winn, there is all kinds of abuse in our world: against children, spouses, even parents. This does not restrict itself to class, wealth, education, ability, age, or professed religion. It is this kind of thing that this commandment is telling those listening to avoid.

Jesus even tells those listening to his teaching to honor mothers and fathers. In Mark 7 he states that adult children are to care for their parents, even helping them financially if need be. He says that to refuse this, even using the excuse of “I am giving to God; therefore, I cannot help you”, is to abandon the command of God and rather follow human tradition.

There are broader implications with this commandment. We are to honor the past and value the wisdom, traditions and art that have gone before us. We are also to honor duly constituted authority, though there is a limit, as Calvin teaches, that if the authority goes against God, then we are not under obligation to follow. Another implication is that to honor father and mother is to honor God. There are two important metaphors in the Bible about God as a parent: God as Father and God as Mother. These two metaphors are clearly in the Bible, and we cannot get away from them. We must think of God as both Father and Mother therefore taking away all aspects of patriarchy and the language that comes with it that can be so harmful to women. As you know, mothers are presented as equals in this commandment and to set them any lower than a place where God puts them is to go against the command of God.

But you may ask, what about the promise that is given in this commandment? That they may live long in the land given to them is what God promises. This is very specific. Winn says this about this promise: “This is a promise of stability. If you honor your father and mother, if you value and honor the past, if you give to all lawful authorities their due, if you honor and reverence God, you won’t be rootless, homeless, belonging nowhere. You’ll have a place.” The people would understand the being rootless and belonging nowhere. They were wandering in the Wilderness, without a homeland, a place to call their own. God promises them that if they are to follow the command, then the promise is that they will have a place of their own for all time. But they do not do this. Ezekiel says that one of the reasons they were taken from their land is that they did not honor their father or mother. Because they did not follow the command, the promise that they held so dear was broken by them, not by God. But there is a promise that there will be a time when children will honor father and mother and that they will come to the land again.

Honor your father and mother. Seems easy does it not? But it is often broken because of how we treat one another. As I stated before this is the beginning of the tablet where we are taught how to live with one another. This is the first commandment that deals with humans but also hearkens back to God and how we are to honor God. When we show honor to the two people who brought us into the world, we show honor to God because we follow God’s command. We will know stability when we show honor, and we will “live long in the land” where we will know God and enjoy God forever. Show honor to those who came before us. We might just learn something. Amen.