Words Matter
Notes
Transcript
Handout
I’m going to put a pause on our Acts Series and start a series called One Church, the importance of being a unified church.
Everyone loves to be in a place where everyone gets along. But being that person who operates in Christ-like unity is a choice.
We want to be a church where life is celebrated, everyone strives for peace with one another, where conversation can be deep yet encouraging and honoring. Where people can be challenged and loved at the same time.
We are one church, one body and unity is not optional if we are going live for Jesus.
1 How good and pleasant it is
when God’s people live together in unity!
Unity is not uniformity
Unity is not uniformity
We are not expected to like the same things, have the same styles, and celebrate the same traditions.
Everyone is different, we all come from different backgrounds, different cultures, different families, different experiences. We all see things differently
We all have different ways to communicate, ways at looking at life, we all have different perspectives.
Not everyone values and sees things the same way because God made us unique for a purpose.
When couples go through premarital counseling, they need to accept the reality that both of them are very different yet will become one flesh.
Even though they love one another and want to spend the rest of there lives together, addressing there differences can be frustrating but these are things you take into a marriage.
different families… blended, traditional, divorced, single parent
different ways of planning things… organized, big planners, never planners
different expectations… must be communicated, discussed and managed.
different ways to resolve conflicts… ways to manage money… different ideas about having kids.
Just like in a marriage, a lack of communication creates barriers that prevent unity. Being unwilling to have those difficult conversations make trust and unity difficult, if not impossible.
Carrying offenses, living in bitterness and unforgivness will always create disunity in a marriage as well as within the Body of Christ.
Too often we hold onto things… we let things fester and eventually we just explode.
Or they just kind of leak out… through gossiping about our offense then actually talking to the person who offended you.
When we talk to the person directly, it then opens up the opportunity for forgiveness and resolution and then God has an opportunity to heal.
This morning we are going to talk about our words because when it comes to unity, words matter. What we say, what we text, and what we post matters… Words Matter.
James deals with the issue of our words because our words have power and if we are going to use our words to unify and bring health and healing throughout the Body of Christ, we must learn to bridle our tongue.
1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.
How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
PRAY
We control our words by giving God complete control
We control our words by giving God complete control
I know for me, I hate to loose an argument and sometimes that gets me into trouble. I say things that hurt the other person.
It’s not easy for me to concede. It is a sacrifice for me to swallow my pride and bite my tongue.
James addresses the difficulty of bridling our tongue. He says if we can control what we say we can control our whole body and even the direction of our life.
James 3:2–5 (ESV)
2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.
Bits give the rider the ability to control the horse.
A rudder gives the captan the ability to steer the ship.
Bits are little, a rudder is little and yet both are very powerful.
Our words have the power to bless or to curse… the power to tear down or build up… the power to start fires or to extinguish them.
The truth is, only God has the ability to tame the tongue and the only way God can used our tongue is through surrender.
7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
It is impossible for mankind to control their tongue. That’s not an excuse to say whatever you feel like saying. Our words have consequences, our words matter.
You can’t unsay things that have already been said.
Illus: Toothpaste out of the tube.
We surrender our own desires, ways, pains, preferences, our anger, frustration, bitterness. We don’t ignore them, we don’t just let our feelings fester but we give them to God.
We pray about those issues and allow the Lord to deal with us.
Then we handle those issues of offense in a Biblical way.
The Bible tells us how we handle conflict:
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
First we must take those things to the Lord and allow HIM to work in our heart.
And then go to the person who offended you and talk to him or her.
Our words have the power of life and death. Our words can destroy those people who are fighting with us, those who are on your own team.
Don’t just say whatever you are feeling especially if you are angry and bitter about something.
Before you open your mouth or send that post or comment on a page… Here are some pre-word questions to consider.
PRE-WORD QUESTIONS:
Is what I’m about to say going to benefit the people who hear it?
Am I hurt and is what I’m about to say going to hurt others?
Can I say this in a way that brings encouragement, healing and restoration?
Think before the words come out, evaluate what you are thinking, and be willing to sensor your words so that what you say becomes a blessing and honors others and the Lord.
We need to consider our tone when we want our message to be heard.
What you say is important but how you say it is just as important.
The things in our heart will come out in our words.
The things in our heart will come out in our words.
Be aware of the things that are in your heart.
Jesus often taught about the importance of having a heart that is full of good things.
45 A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks… what you say flows out of what is in your heart.
Keep your heart pure. Be aware what you put in your heart… what you read, watch, listen too… the friends you spend the most time with.
James calls this earthly wisdom and spiritual wisdom.
13 Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth.
15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.
This wisdom that is bitter, jealous and selfish is earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.
If our heart full of jealousy, bitterness, and selfishness unity is never going to happen.
This is a spiritual issue and this is a heart issue. God want’s us to surrender all of those things to HIM.
Here is the alternative, God’s way, God’s wisdom…
17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
When we are filling our heart with Godly wisdom we can respond to conversations in a Christ-like way.
That only comes through surrendering to Jesus every single day. God will deal with the things in our heart so he can use our words to speak life.
Ask God for a pure heart so that you can offer your self as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God.
Our words matter… that’s why James starts off by addressing teachers.
1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.
Teachers have to speak and have a powerful influence. That’s why James taught that people should not rush to be teachers.
Teachers taught primarily through verbal communication, it was vital for them to control what they said. What we say, people listen to and respond.
As works reveal the depths of a person’s faith, so words show the depth of a person’s maturity.
If we teach others, we must make sure that our lives do not contradict what we teach.
TAKE AWAY:
We all are influencers whether we like it or not.
We are all different but Christ like unity is the glue that causes us to stick together.
What we say, post, text matter… our words matter.
Ask the Lord to search our hearts for barriers that prevent unity.
In relationships within the church, my family, my marriage, jobs.
Ask the Lord to reveal those things that allow our heart to be toxic and then release them to the Lord.
Replace that time with good habits that gives us opportunities to bless others with my words.