Soap Opera Life

Introduction/Scripture

Genesis 37:17–36 NIV

17 “They have moved on from here,” the man answered. “I heard them say, ‘Let’s go to Dothan.’ ” So Joseph went after his brothers and found them near Dothan. 18 But they saw him in the distance, and before he reached them, they plotted to kill him. 19 “Here comes that dreamer!” they said to each other. 20 “Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams.” 21 When Reuben heard this, he tried to rescue him from their hands. “Let’s not take his life,” he said. 22 “Don’t shed any blood. Throw him into this cistern here in the wilderness, but don’t lay a hand on him.” Reuben said this to rescue him from them and take him back to his father. 23 So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe—the ornate robe he was wearing—24 and they took him and threw him into the cistern. The cistern was empty; there was no water in it. 25 As they sat down to eat their meal, they looked up and saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead. Their camels were loaded with spices, balm and myrrh, and they were on their way to take them down to Egypt. 26 Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? 27 Come, let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood.” His brothers agreed. 28 So when the Midianite merchants came by, his brothers pulled Joseph up out of the cistern and sold him for twenty shekels of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took him to Egypt. 29 When Reuben returned to the cistern and saw that Joseph was not there, he tore his clothes. 30 He went back to his brothers and said, “The boy isn’t there! Where can I turn now?” 31 Then they got Joseph’s robe, slaughtered a goat and dipped the robe in the blood. 32 They took the ornate robe back to their father and said, “We found this. Examine it to see whether it is your son’s robe.” 33 He recognized it and said, “It is my son’s robe! Some ferocious animal has devoured him. Joseph has surely been torn to pieces.” 34 Then Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and mourned for his son many days. 35 All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “No,” he said, “I will continue to mourn until I join my son in the grave.” So his father wept for him. 36 Meanwhile, the Midianites sold Joseph in Egypt to Potiphar, one of Pharaoh’s officials, the captain of the guard.

Pray.

American novelist Don Snyder wrote in autobiographical work, “Of Time and Memory;” “Let us hope that we are all proceeded in this world by a love story.”

Reuben was most certainty not.

Mom, Leah. Well her past was rough. Laban, Reuben’s grandfather slipped his own daughter into the marriage bed to Jacob.

Reuben the first born, pays the price for this his whole life.

“Reuben grew up being made to feel second best, the stepped-over one. He was the second-best, uncherished son born of a second-best, uncherished wife. Reuben could do nothing to supplant Joseph in his father’s eyes. So he took things into his own hand.

Alpha-male problem. Beating my dad in sports…

Alpha male problem in OT terms, and in this dark and twisted family. Instead of taking on dad in the basketball court, there is another approach. 2 Samuel 16 Absalom and David.

Genesis 35, Reuben tries the same thing. Bilhah. Read it:

Soap Opera: “Israel moved on again and pitched his tent beyond Migdal Eder. While Israel was living in that region, Reuben went in and slept with his father’s concubine Bilhah, and Israel heard of it.”

Here is the crazy thing, Joseph did nothing about it. And what could he do? He had lost all respect and moral authority in his house. Maybe Rachel and Joseph would defend him, but would anyone else? He was stuck.

“Jacob was paralyzed by his past, and he did nothing, hoping it would all just drift away on the wind. But, of course, it didn’t.”

Time will not heal all wounds.

Time has no healing quality within itself.

Stephen Elliot writes,

“Betrayals like Reuben’s just don’t drift off on the wind. They have to be confronted—in love and on biblical terms. When they are not, you get relational climate change. You end up with a chill coming over the marriage bed, a cold frost settling over the work place, a north wind that freezes hearts blowing through family life. We all know such experiences and such days.” - Stephen Elliot

Reuben’s perspective:

What about Reuben’s perspective? The relationship is ruined. All of the relationships are jacked up beyond repair. For Reuben we see this action become what plagues him for the rest of our story (probably for the rest of his life). Reuben tried to take the family back. His birthright as the oldest son, but it ends in disaster. And no surprise there. When we act in pain and live out of our wounds and hurts…the result is usually compounded mess.

Hurt people hurt people

Guilt and Shame are at work in our story in Genesis 37.

Guilt is usually private

Shame is guilt gone public

Genesis 37 shows Reuben undo some things. At first he seems like he is genuinely trying to save Joseph but he is really trying to save his own hide. This is made clear in verse 29:

Genesis 37:29 NIV

29 When Reuben returned to the cistern and saw that Joseph was not there, he tore his clothes.

Little dramatic from here right? Unless there was another motive.

This is so important. Only genuine forgiveness can heal. Not trying to cover with other things.

Forgiveness is not achieved it is received.

You cannot make up for wrongs with other rights. We know this to be true. If you have been married for a day, you know that flowers do not cover up the stink of something done.

Seeking forgiveness and extending forgiveness

Seeking it: Reuben

Most of the time, we preach and teach from the affirmative. “This is what the bible prescribes for us. Today, we look into the soap opera of this family and see some places that God could have worked if people were willing. Reuben, Jacob, Leah, Rachel, no one is calling out what is happening in the family. Reuben should have addressed what he did with Dad and Bilhah.

Friends what is done in the dark and kept in the dark will only be healed with the transparency and light of the gospel. Secrets, sin, wrongs, have the ability to control us.

—> If you have wronged someone in your life…no action, no good action, will make the wound disappear. Only repentance, honesty, humility. Listen, this is not even a guarantee that everything will get put back together the way you want. But the guarantee is that if you want to kill sin, and not sleep with it…shine the light on it.

· Truth, while we were yet enemies and far from him, we have been reconciled in his death, so that we have life in his resurrection. Romans 5

Extending it: the work of forgiving others

There is a scene in Genesis 37 that I think is very telling:

Genesis 37:23–25 NIV

23 So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe—the ornate robe he was wearing—24 and they took him and threw him into the cistern. The cistern was empty; there was no water in it. 25 As they sat down to eat their meal, they looked up and saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead. Their camels were loaded with spices, balm and myrrh, and they were on their way to take them down to Egypt.

Do you see anything that is certifiably crazy?

THEY ATE A MEAL

· Scar tissue: Do you know what scar tissue is? Scar tissue is what forms as you recover from a wound. There are times when this tissue produces way too much without treatment or the tissue forms things together that should not be connected. And places with great trauma have great deals of scar tissue. Tissue begins to make it difficult to move, or function. Can become calloused.

· The brothers have been so deeply hurt and not received proper healing that they are calloused to a level that is hard for us to imagine. When we can no longer hear the cries of the afflicted…we need to have a heart check.

· CS Lewis:

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. -C.S. Lewis

1. Forgiveness is for the victim

Forgiveness is as important if not more important for the victim than the perpetrator.

2. Forgiveness is about freedom

It is about cutting the chains that burden you to the brokenness and evil cast upon you.

At some point we become absorbed by this evil and it controls us. I am sure many of you know what this feels like!

If forgiveness is about freedom, then it is not simply condoning the action. It is not simply forgetting it or pretending like it did not happen. It is not accepting it as ok. Forgiveness is about freedom from the burden cast upon you. It is about allowing God to shine light on that piece of darkness so that its not yours anymore. It is about being caught up in the forgiving love of God poured out for you.

Jesus on the cross….”Forgive, them father for they know not what they do.”

He is not UGH, wait until I am done with this! Do you know who my dad is?! Look at them celebrating, I will show them.

No, Jesus--so secure in his mission and so secure in the love of the father…he says Father…forgive them. I don’t need to carry that burden. I am going to die for them.

Friends, if you think for a second that this is a position of weakness…then you could not be more wrong. This is a place of power. You. Will. Not. Take. My. Life.

Forgiveness is a place of power.

3. Forgiveness is spiritual

Finally, forgiveness is a spiritual work. John 20:23, Jesus shows up in a locked room. Peace. Receive the Holy Spirit, If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven…

God is acting in this verse. It is the power of God that saves. But what if one of the greatest acts and avenues of God’s message is the work of forgiveness? Because this act of forgiveness points to Jesus on a cross. This is a spiritual work.

The Holy Spirit is the source of forgiveness and the power to forgive. Hit your knees this morning. Right here.

Closing

In November 1983 an all-white jury in Clayton County, Georgia, took 40 minutes to convict an African-American man named Calvin Johnson of raping a white woman. The jury ignored the testimony of four black witnesses who supported his alibi, choosing instead to believe the ambivalent testimony of the white victim. Standing before the judge who had just sentenced him to life in prison, Johnson said, "With God as my witness, I have been falsely accused. … I just pray in the name of Jesus Christ that the truth will eventually be brought out."

On June 15, 1999—16 years later—holding a small New Testament in his hand, Johnson stood before another judge who signed an order to set him free. DNA tests had shown conclusively that he could not have committed the crime.

Sixteen years as a lifer in a Georgia prison! The mind reels. What was Johnson's attitude about those who had done him wrong? His faith in Christ had gotten him through each day of those 16 years, he said, never allowing him to despair. He said he held no lasting enmity toward the prosecutor, the victim, the jury, or the legal system. He said, "Bitterness will destroy you. Now I just need a job."

People in the room:

Need to seek forgiveness

Need to give forgiveness