Reconciliation: No place for favoritism
Notes
Transcript
Call to worship
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Call to Worship
James 3:13–18 “Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”
LET US STAND AND WORSHIP!
“Death Was Arrested”
Words and Music by Phillips Craig & Dean
PRAYER OF PRAISE FOR WHO GOD IS
Lord,
“Resurrection Power”
Words and Music by Chris Tomlin
“Worthy is the Lamb”
Words and Music by Hillsong
PRAYER OF ILLUMINATION TO OPEN OUR HEARTS
Lord,
SERMON
Introduction
There are many things that threaten and even destroy families. Infidelity, workaholic parents, alcohol or drug use; on and on. Many of these things are obvious to us, but some are more subtle. Today I want to talk about one that is much less obvious but no less destructive: favoritism.
What is favoritism? “To make unjust distinctions between people by treating one person better than another” (Louw-Nida)
Favoritism can be found in:
showing favor to people based upon their:
race
nationalities
wealth
and children favorited by parents (which is what we will focus on today)
If there was ever a place in the Bibel that demonstrated the destructive nature of favoritism, it is in the story of Joseph.
It was Jacob’s favoritism towards Joseph that led to this broken family that God has chosen to be the nation of Israel.
It was favoritism that caused his brothers to hate him, and even plan to kill him.
And in chapter 43, it is favoritism that this family must overcome to be reconciled together once again.
I want to break this message into three parts: (1) The parents who play favorites, (2) The nature of favoritism, (3) The victims of favoritism
THE PARENTS WHO PLAY FAVORITES
THE PARENTS WHO PLAY FAVORITES
Now the famine was severe in the land. So it came about when they had finished eating the grain which they had brought from Egypt, that their father said to them, “Go back, buy us a little food.” Judah spoke to him, however, saying, “The man solemnly warned us, ‘You shall not see my face unless your brother is with you.’ “If you send our brother with us, we will go down and buy you food. “But if you do not send him, we will not go down; for the man said to us, ‘You will not see my face unless your brother is with you.’ ” Then Israel said, “Why did you treat me so badly by telling the man whether you still had another brother?”
Explanation
Context
The setting of chapter 43 is back in the land of Canaan.
The famine had begun just as Joseph had predicted, and the food the brothers had received from their first trip to Egypt is gone.
And the situation is serious.
Notice Judah tells their father, that this is a matter of life and death
Part of the deal Joseph made with his brothers was if they came back for more grain, they would have to bring their youngest brother Benjamin with them.
But Jacob is completely against sending Benjamin
AND what amazes me, is that Jacob has no problem at all letting the other 10 sons go:
Judah
Reuben
Levi or the others
No big deal
But when Benjamin's name comes up, its hands off.
Why is Jacob against Benjamin going?
Because Benjamin is Jacob’s new favorite son.
When Joseph disappeared, Jacob just replaced him with Benjamin
And after all these years, he hasn’t changed
But God will have nothing of it
And God has so moved Joseph’s heart in Egypt to make the deal that Benjamin must return if they want more food
And if Jacob wants his family to survive, then he has to let Benjamin go.
I do not want us to miss the overall picture of these chapters is RECONCILIATION.
God is bringing this family back together after it has been torn apart
And the obstacle that must be overcome in chapter 43 is the favoritism Jacob continues to show to his children
Bridge
Favoritism destroys families
It was true 3500 years ago and it is true today
It is a temptation that comes with being a human being
We make judgements upon people; whether they be our children or church members, or a different race; and that judgement is based ONLY on external factors
And because something they have appeals to our flesh, we want to love them more
This is not a sermon about racism, but about the family
And it is clear that God has called the parents to love their children EQUALLY!
He wants families to be united, together, one unit
It is so important to God, that He puts Jacob in a life or death situation so that he will let his favorite child go
Application
If we allow favoritism to creep into our heart, and into our families, it will destroy them
Your family may still gather for for the holidays
Your family may still talk and be able to get along
BUT your family will never be the way God intended it
Someone always gets hurt when there is a favorite child
Imagine what that felt like to the 10 brothers here, knowing that to their father their lives were much more dispensable than their little brother’s.
Imagine what it must have felt like to know deep down that their father loved Benjamin more than them
Of coarse Jacob would never say that
And he may not even realize it himself
But his actions reveal the realities of his heart
And the Bible makes it so clear that Jacob practiced loving one son more than all the rest!
And that hurt is a constant pain
It’s not like a parent who loses their temper and then apologizes to their child
It is an ongoing affliction to the less loved children
The favorite child gets more
The favorite child gets off the hook
The favorite always receives some kind of special treatment
The message to all the other children is the favorite child is more valuable than the other children
Favoritism has no place in the family of God
It is sinful
It is inconsistent with our call to be holy
And we must be sure to make every effort that it is not practiced in our homes
THE NATURE OF FAVORITISM
THE NATURE OF FAVORITISM
Then their father Israel said to them, “If it must be so, then do this: take some of the best products of the land in your bags, and carry down to the man as a present, a little balm and a little honey, aromatic gum and myrrh, pistachio nuts and almonds. “Take double the money in your hand, and take back in your hand the money that was returned in the mouth of your sacks; perhaps it was a mistake. “Take your brother also, and arise, return to the man; and may God Almighty grant you compassion in the sight of the man, so that he will release to you your other brother and Benjamin. And as for me, if I am bereaved of my children, I am bereaved.”
Explanation
FAVORITISM IS OFTEN A GENERATIONAL SIN
The first question we may ask is, “Why does Jacob, who is clearly a man of God, chosen by God, the father of the 12 tribes of Israel, play favorites?
And if we study the book of Genesis closely, we will see that Jacob is not the first person in the Bible to show favoritism
Actually it began with both his father an his mother when
Jacob’s father was Issac, the promised son of Abraham. Issac was married to Rebekah, and together they gave birth to Jacob and Esau who were twins!
Now Isaac loved Esau, because he had a taste for game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.
Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his sons, because he was the son of his old age; and he made him a varicolored tunic.
Jacob is a product if his parents sins
It doesn’t make it right, nor does it excuse what he does, but it does give us some understanding of generational sins.
Favoritism is often a learned behavior in the home.
It is a generational sin passed down from the parents to the children, to the grandchildren, and so on
Too often those who adopt this sin, do it so well because they have experienced it most of their lives
And do you know what else about generational sins?
They punish the children
Exodus 20:5 (NASB95)
“for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations
This verse is NOT sayin that God will punish the children for the sins of the parents
This verse is saying that the sins of the parents will punish their own children as well as the soul of the son is Mine. The soul who sins will die.”
And maybe the place where this is most clear is here in the story of Joseph.
Over and over Jacob expresses his sorrow and pain over his family
All because of this sin he learned from his parents to play the game of favorites
Bridge
Parents, the sins we practice will seriously affect the life of our children.
In this particular example of generational favoritism, it had destroyed this family
Passed down from father to father and impacting the children
Had Issac only known what kind of devastation it would have on his grandchildren, I am sure he would have repented of it at once!
Person Story
This message is one near to my heart, because this sin runs in my family bloodlines
I remember growing up and my dad always talking about how my grandfather and grandmother showed favoritism to the “son of their old age”
He constantly dealt with the hurt of this, though never saying anything to them, he love them too much
But I could see how much it hurt him, being a child of parents who loved one child more than the rest
When they passed, they left everything to that one favorite son, and it ripped that family apart
None of them have spoken to each other in years
Application
But generational sins are not absolute!
We are to learn from this historical piece of Scripture, that they must end with us!
We must not accept the fact, “that it is in our blood”
Or “thats the way my parents treated me”
We are setting your children up to suffer for your own sinfulness if that is your attitude
And they will practice those same sins they see inn our lives
You be the one who parents your children equally
And you will see the fruit of that in their families for generation after generation
Let me give you that verse in full
Exodus 20:5–6 (NASB95)
“You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing lovingkindness to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.
The positive godly behavior of the parents has a much greater impact than our sinful actions
"showing lovingkindness to thousands of generations to those who love Me, and keep My commandments”
FAVORITISM IS ALWAYS BASED UPON THE EXTERNAL
The word favoritism in the OT means “receiving the face”
It is based upon the externals of someone
It could be their age
It could be the way they look
It could be the way they act
It could be their bloodline
In the case of Jospeh and Benjamin it was their bloodline
Genesis 43:29 (NASB95)
As he lifted his eyes and saw his brother Benjamin, his mother’s son, he said, “Is this your youngest brother, of whom you spoke to me?” And he said, “May God be gracious to you, my son.”
The reason Jacob loved Jospeh and Benjamin more was because they were the only two sons of Rachel.
And Jacob loved Rachel more than he loved Leah who was the mother of his other sons.
Therefore his favoritism was based upon their blood.
Step children are becoming a common thing in our world today.
You may be raising someone else’s children who are not your own.
Love them like they are your very own
Blood, looks, personality, is no excuse to love one any more than another.
FAVORITISM IS INCONSISTENT WITH GOD’S CHARACTER
God does not love us based upon our looks, or our gifts, or our success, or what race we are (thank the Lord for that)
For there is no partiality with God.
God is absolutely impartial when it comes to dealing with people
He does not care what we drive or what kind of house we live in
He does not care what color our skin is
He does not care how much money we have
It does not matter if we are married or not
He does not care how smart we are; or how popular we are
He does not care if we are poor
He does not even care about your rank in the church
“For the Lord your God is the God of gods and the Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God who does not show partiality nor take a bribe.
God will judge all men based merely upon the condition of their soul
He does not look at the externals
He looks at the heart
And that is the way we must be
Not letting the external things lead us to have an attitude of favoritism
Not letting bloodlines, or looks, or personalities cause us to love one child more than another
Our call is to be like God, for they are all made in the image of God
THE VICTIMS OF FAVORITISM
THE VICTIMS OF FAVORITISM
Then he washed his face and came out; and he controlled himself and said, “Serve the meal.” So they served him by himself, and them by themselves, and the Egyptians who ate with him by themselves, because the Egyptians could not eat bread with the Hebrews, for that is loathsome to the Egyptians. Now they were seated before him, the firstborn according to his birthright and the youngest according to his youth, and the men looked at one another in astonishment. He took portions to them from his own table, but Benjamin’s portion was five times as much as any of theirs. So they feasted and drank freely with him.
Explanation
I want you to notice what Joseph is doing here
Remember, it was the jealousy of the brothers that caused them to sin against Joseph
So he sets up this meal as a test, to see if the brothers have reformed from their jealous ways
Notice what he does:
He seats them in order according to their age
Now in those days t firstborn has certain rites and privileges
He was given the best of the inheritance
He was given priority over the other children
And instead of giving the firstborn the bigger portion, he reverses that and gives Benjamin 5 times the amount of food anyone else receives
Now in my home, that is a cause for fight
Especially if we are staking about desert
And according to their culture, the brothers have the right to be upset, BUT what do they do?
“They feasted and drank freely”
They did not let it bother them at all that Benjamin was favored above the others
Bridge
Sometimes children are victims of favoritism and it cannot be avoided
The parents may be unbelievers
OR The parents may not even recognize what they are doing
This is not just for children, but for grown children
These men were well into their 40’s by this time
And still experiencing fav in their family
So what should we do when we are the victim of favoritism?
Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.
Refuse to let temptation creep in and retaliate
Refuse to let jealousy creep in
Trust in the sovereignty of God who will work everything out for your good in the end
Relationships are far more important than stuff!
And families become broken far too often over stuff
Over favoritism
Over the sins of the parents
As far as it depends on us, be at peace with all men, especially your siblings
Conclusion
If favoritism runs in your blood, recognize it for what it is: sin
Repent of it
It has no place in the family of God
Thank the Lord for Rom 2:11, “for there is no partiality with God”
We can never impress God
We could never clean ourselves up to look more appealing to Him
What God wants from us is come to him just as we are; warts and all
God does not look at the “face”; He sees the heart
He wants us to be wide open before Him, vulnerable, and honest and true
And if we will come to Him like that, God will radically transform our lives
~PRAYER~
RESPONSE
PUBLIC INVITATION
“Even so Come”
Words and Music by Chris Tomlin
OFFERING
We will now worship the Lord through our tithes and offering.
BENEDICTION
Numbers 6:24-26 “The Lord bless you, and keep you; The Lord cause His face to shine on you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His face to you, And give you peace.’”