Ruth: A Grief Observed
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What is grief?
In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.
The book of Judges ends with one of the most graphic and horrific stories in all of scripture. It was so severe that it actually caused a civil war to break out in Israel. The story stars a couple, both from the city of Bethlehem. The Bible very poetically uses the couple from the end of the book of Judges to the couple that will come about in the book of Ruth. Both books were written around the same time by the same author, who used these two stories to shed a light on this truth, “Our hope in life is not found in man but in God”.
Now it came about in the days when the judges governed, that there was a famine in the land. And a certain man of Bethlehem in Judah went to sojourn in the land of Moab with his wife and his two sons.
The story of Ruth begins by giving us a date.
“ Now it came about in the days when the judges governed…”
Our story takes place during the book of Judges. It was during a rough time in Israel’s history when the people trusted the voice of man over the voice of God (Judges 21:25). There was a spiritual famine in the land of Israel and on top of that there was a physical famine in the land of Bethlehem. We see in verse one that because of the famine the family was forced out of Bethlehem, out of Israel, and into a foreign land.
East
Throughout scripture there are literary motifs. The best way to understand a motif is by looking at movies. In movies there are musical motifs that signify characters or themes. For example, the imperial march from Star Wars. There are also visual motifs like bats in a batman movie. They serve as a story telling technique and use symbolism to help the reader reach a deeper understanding. One instance of the Bible using this is with directions. Throughout out scripture sometimes the authors will use East to symbolize evil and the West to symbolize righteousness.
· When Adam and Eve sinned God kicked them out to the East of the Garden of Eden.
· When Cain killed Abel, he was sent to the land of Nod, east of Eden.
· God chooses Abraham to be a holy nation and takes them out of the East and brings him to a land in the East.
· In the story of Joseph an East wind brings a famine.
· In the Exodus story an East wind brings locusts.
· In the exile, Israel behaves wickedly so God exiles them to the East.
The reason for this is because Israel sat west of everything. The only thing west of Israel was the Mediterranean Sea. This meant that all of Israel’s enemies sat East of them. The authors used this motif and at times even switched the role of righteous and wicked.
· After Nineveh repented and turned to God, Jonah had an angry heart and sat East of Nineveh, making him the new East.
· In Ruth we see Israel become so wicked that they have to flee out of the West and into the East, similarly to the story of Jesus and Herod.
Now it came about in the days when the judges governed, that there was a famine in the land. And a certain man of Bethlehem in Judah went to sojourn in the land of Moab with his wife and his two sons. The name of the man was Elimelech, and the name of his wife, Naomi; and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion, Ephrathites of Bethlehem in Judah. Now they entered the land of Moab and remained there.
This family is forced to leave the land God has given them, from west to east.
In verse two we are introduced to the family. Elimelech (Whose name means God is my King), Naomi (Whose name means pleasant), Mahlon (Whose name means sick), and Chilion (Whose name means suffering). They were Ephrathites (Which means fruitful) and they were from Bethlehem (Which means House of Bread).
Now it came about in the days when the judges governed, that there was a famine in the land. And a certain man of Bethlehem in Judah went to sojourn in the land of Moab with his wife and his two sons. The name of the man was Elimelech, and the name of his wife, Naomi; and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion, Ephrathites of Bethlehem in Judah. Now they entered the land of Moab and remained there. Then Elimelech, Naomi’s husband, died; and she was left with her two sons. They took for themselves Moabite women as wives; the name of the one was Orpah and the name of the other Ruth. And they lived there about ten years. Then both Mahlon and Chilion also died, and the woman was bereft of her two children and her husband.
So, God is my king, Pleasant, Sick and Suffering, who were fruitful, leave the House of Bread because there was a famine. They go into the enemy nation of Moab as refugees. Naomi’s husband Elimelech dies. Her sons marry foreign wives, have no kids, and die. All of this happens within the course of ten years. Naomi lost everything. The things that brought her joy in life are gone. What can she do? She picks up her things and returns to Bethlehem empty. Not only is she empty, but she feels like the hand of God is against her. Along with the sorrow of losing her spouse and her children, she has no hope for a Kinsman Redeemer.
Then she arose with her daughters-in-law that she might return from the land of Moab, for she had heard in the land of Moab that the Lord had visited His people in giving them food. So she departed from the place where she was, and her two daughters-in-law with her; and they went on the way to return to the land of Judah. And Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go, return each of you to her mother’s house. May the Lord deal kindly with you as you have dealt with the dead and with me. “May the Lord grant that you may find rest, each in the house of her husband.” Then she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and wept. And they said to her, “No, but we will surely return with you to your people.” But Naomi said, “Return, my daughters. Why should you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands? “Return, my daughters! Go, for I am too old to have a husband. If I said I have hope, if I should even have a husband tonight and also bear sons, would you therefore wait until they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No, my daughters; for it is harder for me than for you, for the hand of the Lord has gone forth against me.”
Kinsman redeemer
But Naomi said, “Return, my daughters. Why should you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands?
“When brothers live together and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the deceased shall not be married outside the family to a strange man. Her husband’s brother shall go in to her and take her to himself as wife and perform the duty of a husband’s brother to her. “It shall be that the firstborn whom she bears shall assume the name of his dead brother, so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel. “But if the man does not desire to take his brother’s wife, then his brother’s wife shall go up to the gate to the elders and say, ‘My husband’s brother refuses to establish a name for his brother in Israel; he is not willing to perform the duty of a husband’s brother to me.’ “Then the elders of his city shall summon him and speak to him. And if he persists and says, ‘I do not desire to take her,’ then his brother’s wife shall come to him in the sight of the elders, and pull his sandal off his foot and spit in his face; and she shall declare, ‘Thus it is done to the man who does not build up his brother’s house.’ “In Israel his name shall be called, ‘The house of him whose sandal is removed.’
asking, “Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies having no children, his brother as next of kin shall marry his wife, and raise up children for his brother.’
The Sadducees use Deuteronomy 25 to question Jesus about the resurrection of the dead.
“As the name implies, a kinsman is a family relation, usually the next of kin if there is no brother or another male in the immediate family. And according to the dictionary, a redeemer is someone who buys, buys back, recovers, pays off, or exchanges something for goods.
Putting it all together, a kinsman-redeemer is someone, usually the nearest relative, who is charged with the duty of restoring or recovering the rights of another and avenging any wrongs in exchange for something.
By law, the kinsman-redeemer had two main responsibilities: (1) to redeem family property that had changed ownership, and (2) to marry a childless widow and raise children in her dead husband’s name.”
So here is where our story lies, Naomi’s husband and sons are gone, she has no ability to produce for Ruth and Orpah a Kinsman Redeemer, and she feels the hand of God against her. Imagine the weight of grief on her shoulders. It is very hard to lose a loved one. It feels almost impossible to lose them all. Here is where Naomi is left with her grief, she says go home. I have nothing to give you. No sons that you should marry, no joy, no hope, just sorrow. In our sadness its easy to feel alone. To feel like nobody understands. To feel like even God has abandoned us. Ruth wasn’t the only person in the Bible to feel this way.
Elijah
Now Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me and even more, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time.” And he was afraid and arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree; and he requested for himself that he might die, and said, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers.”
Job
“Behold, I cry, ‘Violence!’ but I get no answer; I shout for help, but there is no justice. “He has walled up my way so that I cannot pass, And He has put darkness on my paths. “He has stripped my honor from me And removed the crown from my head. “He breaks me down on every side, and I am gone; And He has uprooted my hope like a tree. “He has also kindled His anger against me And considered me as His enemy. “His troops come together, And build up their way against me And camp around my tent. “He has removed my brothers far from me, And my acquaintances are completely estranged from me. “My relatives have failed, And my intimate friends have forgotten me. “Those who live in my house and my maids consider me a stranger. I am a foreigner in their sight. “I call to my servant, but he does not answer; I have to implore him with my mouth. “My breath is offensive to my wife, And I am loathsome to my own brothers. “Even young children despise me; I rise up and they speak against me. “All my associates abhor me, And those I love have turned against me. “My bone clings to my skin and my flesh, And I have escaped only by the skin of my teeth. “Pity me, pity me, O you my friends, For the hand of God has struck me. “Why do you persecute me as God does, And are not satisfied with my flesh? “Oh that my words were written! Oh that they were inscribed in a book! “That with an iron stylus and lead They were engraved in the rock forever! “As for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, And at the last He will take His stand on the earth. “Even after my skin is destroyed, Yet from my flesh I shall see God; Whom I myself shall behold, And whom my eyes will see and not another. My heart faints within me! “If you say, ‘How shall we persecute him?’ And ‘What pretext for a case against him can we find?’ “Then be afraid of the sword for yourselves, For wrath brings the punishment of the sword, So that you may know there is judgment.”
David
My God, my God, why have You forsaken me? Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning. O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer; And by night, but I have no rest. Yet You are holy, O You who are enthroned upon the praises of Israel. In You our fathers trusted; They trusted and You delivered them. To You they cried out and were delivered; In You they trusted and were not disappointed. But I am a worm and not a man, A reproach of men and despised by the people. All who see me sneer at me; They separate with the lip, they wag the head, saying, “Commit yourself to the Lord; let Him deliver him; Let Him rescue him, because He delights in him.” Yet You are He who brought me forth from the womb; You made me trust when upon my mother’s breasts. Upon You I was cast from birth; You have been my God from my mother’s womb.
It is easy for us to see the world as black and white. Good and bad, just and evil. We have a very specific idea of how we think God should act when really there is a lot we will never understand. Although we might not be able to explain everything about God here is something we can hold on to. God is always good. When we look at the world around us and it seems like good things happen to evil people and there is no justice we have to take a step back and look at what the Bible says about it.
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Why do bad things happen?
Bad things happen because of sin. When Adam and Eve sinned, it caused the world to be broken. Nothing was the same after the fall.
Who is good?
No one is good. We all sin. We all choose to turn away from God.
Why do bad things happen to me? Does God have a purpose in my pain?
“We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain
“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, in which the heavens will pass away with a roar and the elements will be destroyed with intense heat, and the earth and its works will be burned up.
With every heart break God is drawing us to the understanding that we need Jesus. In a life without Jesus, hardships seem like such an empty thing. Pain is not empty.
Why do bad things happen to my loved ones? Why not me?
A Grief observed
The terrible thing is that a perfectly good God is in the is matter hardly less formidable than a Cosmic Sadist. The more we believe that God hurts only to heal, the less we can believe that there is any use in begging for tenderness. A cruel man might be bribed – might grow tired of his vile sport – might have a temporary fit of mercy, as alcoholics have fits of sobriety. But suppose that what you are up against is a surgeon whose intentions are wholly good. The kinder and conscientious he is, the more inexorably he will go on cutting. If he yielded to your entreaties, if he stopped before the operation was complete, all the pain up to that point would have been useless. But is it credible that such extremities of torture should be necessary for us? Well, take your choice. The tortures occur. If they are unnecessary, then there is no God or a bad one. If there is a good God, then these tortures are necessary. For no even moderately good Being could possibly inflict or permit them if they weren’t.
Either way, we’re for it.
What do people mean when they say, ‘I am not afraid of God because I know He is good? Have they never been to a dentist?
Yet this is unendurable. And then one babbles – ‘If only I could bear it, or the worst of it or any of it, instead of her.’ But one can’t tell how serious that bid is, for nothing is staked on it. If it suddenly became a real possibility, then, for the first time, we should discover how seriously we had meant it. But is it ever allowed?
It was allowed to One, we are told, and I find I can now believe again, that He has done vicariously whatever can be so done. He replies to our babble, ‘You cannot and you dare not. I could and dared.’”
God is good. He wants our good. Our good ultimately is having a relationship with Him. We aren’t left alone to endure the sadness of life on our own. We share our grief with God and with others.
Our God knows our grief
In all 7 letters to the churches in revelation Jesus knowstheir works. He knows us too. It isn’t a casual knowing, but an intimate one.
“Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.
Jesus was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief
Awake, awake, Clothe yourself in your strength, O Zion; Clothe yourself in your beautiful garments, O Jerusalem, the holy city; For the uncircumcised and the unclean Will no longer come into you. Shake yourself from the dust, rise up, O captive Jerusalem; Loose yourself from the chains around your neck, O captive daughter of Zion. For thus says the Lord, “You were sold for nothing and you will be redeemed without money.” For thus says the Lord God, “My people went down at the first into Egypt to reside there; then the Assyrian oppressed them without cause. “Now therefore, what do I have here,” declares the Lord, “seeing that My people have been taken away without cause?” Again the Lord declares, “Those who rule over them howl, and My name is continually blasphemed all day long. “Therefore My people shall know My name; therefore in that day I am the one who is speaking, ‘Here I am.’ ” How lovely on the mountains Are the feet of him who brings good news, Who announces peace And brings good news of happiness, Who announces salvation, And says to Zion, “Your God reigns!” Listen! Your watchmen lift up their voices, They shout joyfully together; For they will see with their own eyes When the Lord restores Zion. Break forth, shout joyfully together, You waste places of Jerusalem; For the Lord has comforted His people, He has redeemed Jerusalem. The Lord has bared His holy arm In the sight of all the nations, That all the ends of the earth may see The salvation of our God. Depart, depart, go out from there, Touch nothing unclean; Go out of the midst of her, purify yourselves, You who carry the vessels of the Lord. But you will not go out in haste, Nor will you go as fugitives; For the Lord will go before you, And the God of Israel will be your rear guard. Behold, My servant will prosper, He will be high and lifted up and greatly exalted. Just as many were astonished at you, My people, So His appearance was marred more than any man And His form more than the sons of men. Thus He will sprinkle many nations, Kings will shut their mouths on account of Him; For what had not been told them they will see, And what they had not heard they will understand. Who has believed our message? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed? For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot, And like a root out of parched ground; He has no stately form or majesty That we should look upon Him, Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him. He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; And like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely our griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, Smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed. All of us like sheep have gone astray, Each of us has turned to his own way; But the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all To fall on Him. He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He did not open His mouth; Like a lamb that is led to slaughter, And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, So He did not open His mouth. By oppression and judgment He was taken away; And as for His generation, who considered That He was cut off out of the land of the living For the transgression of my people, to whom the stroke was due? His grave was assigned with wicked men, Yet He was with a rich man in His death, Because He had done no violence, Nor was there any deceit in His mouth. But the Lord was pleased To crush Him, putting Him to grief; If He would render Himself as a guilt offering, He will see His offspring, He will prolong His days, And the good pleasure of the Lord will prosper in His hand. As a result of the anguish of His soul, He will see it and be satisfied; By His knowledge the Righteous One, My Servant, will justify the many, As He will bear their iniquities. Therefore, I will allot Him a portion with the great, And He will divide the booty with the strong; Because He poured out Himself to death, And was numbered with the transgressors; Yet He Himself bore the sin of many, And interceded for the transgressors.
Jesus faced what we face today
Temptation
Immediately the Spirit impelled Him to go out into the wilderness. And He was in the wilderness forty days being tempted by Satan; and He was with the wild beasts, and the angels were ministering to Him.
Lost friends
Therefore, when Mary came where Jesus was, she saw Him, and fell at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled, and said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to Him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. So the Jews were saying, “See how He loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not this man, who opened the eyes of the blind man, have kept this man also from dying?”
Lost loved ones
Have you noticed that Jesus’ earthly father Joseph isn’t mentioned after the Christmas story?
He said goodbye to His mother
Therefore the soldiers did these things. But standing by the cross of Jesus were His mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus then saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” From that hour the disciple took her into his own household.
Shame
fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Lost life
Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to His disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be grieved and distressed. Then He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.” And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.” And He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “So, you men could not keep watch with Me for one hour? “Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” He went away again a second time and prayed, saying, “My Father, if this cannot pass away unless I drink it, Your will be done.” Again He came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. And He left them again, and went away and prayed a third time, saying the same thing once more. Then He came to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Behold, the hour is at hand and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. “Get up, let us be going; behold, the one who betrays Me is at hand!”
Although we might focus on the here and now, God is focused on the long term. He prunes, he corrects, he creates steadfastness. In the midst of our grief and sorrow God is creating Joy.
“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. “Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit. “You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. “If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned. “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. “My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples. “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. “These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.
God had Ruth and Naomi’s long term in mind
How can we help others? How do we share our grief as a community?
And they lifted up their voices and wept again; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her. Then she said, “Behold, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and her gods; return after your sister-in-law.” But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. “Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus may the Lord do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me.” When she saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more to her. So they both went until they came to Bethlehem. And when they had come to Bethlehem, all the city was stirred because of them, and the women said, “Is this Naomi?” She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. “I went out full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the Lord has witnessed against me and the Almighty has afflicted me?” So Naomi returned, and with her Ruth the Moabitess, her daughter-in-law, who returned from the land of Moab. And they came to Bethlehem at the beginning of barley harvest.
Naomi didn’t have to suffer alone. She had a friend, literally.
Ruth means Friendship
Naomi had a friend who not only shared in her grief, but was committed to serving God with her. (V. 16)
Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.
“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ “This is the great and foremost commandment. “The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Tell your story
My Dad’s sin
My Mom’s attempt
My church’s rejection
My reaction
My addiction
My mistakes
My hope
Grief shouldn’t turn us against God but to Him.
What do we do with grief? We give it to God.
How do we process it? Any process of dealing with grief that pulls us away from God will make it worse. Jesus is our hope.
After these things I heard something like a loud voice of a great multitude in heaven, saying, “Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God; because His judgments are true and righteous; for He has judged the great harlot who was corrupting the earth with her immorality, and He has avenged the blood of His bond-servants on her.” And a second time they said, “Hallelujah! Her smoke rises up forever and ever.” And the twenty-four elders and the four living creatures fell down and worshiped God who sits on the throne saying, “Amen. Hallelujah!” And a voice came from the throne, saying, “Give praise to our God, all you His bond-servants, you who fear Him, the small and the great.” Then I heard something like the voice of a great multitude and like the sound of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, saying, “Hallelujah! For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns. “Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.”