The Gospel and Relationships

Ephesians 5:21-6:9 The Gospel and Relationships Sunday, August 20, 2023 Introduction When you think of the word submission, what comes to mind? If you spent time watching, WCW or the WWF and wrestling (fake emphasis) maybe your understanding of submission is that of a submission hold where an opponent must tap out. Others, maybe you have a past where submission is something painful, because abuse was present and you were forced to submit in ungodly ways. Still others, in an understanding of submission is seen as outdated or for other cultures, not ours. So the question we must wrestle with though as Christians is how does the Bible address this issue of submission? And that is what we are going to try and look at this morning in Ephesians 5:21-6:9. For the last two months, we have worked our way through this letter to the Church of Ephesus. We will conclude that letter next week, along with my ministry here at Central City Baptist Church. But as we prepare to jump back into this letter after a week off, we would be helped with a quick recap of where we have been so we can know where we are going. The first half of the letter, chapters 1-3, focused on the Christian's new identity in Christ as one blessed in Christ, as one who was dead and now alive in Christ, the gospel mystery which was once hidden, but now has been revealed. As the second half of the letter has begun, Paul calls for the Church of Ephesus to be a people united in the gospel who labor to grow together in maturity. And as they do, they are called to then put off their old nature, their old selves, and put on a new nature, a new self in Christ. Laboring to walk in truth, in love, and in wisdom. And to do this, we as Christians must be filled with the Spirit. And part of that Spirit living is where we pick up this morning as we turn our attention to Ephesians 5:21-6:9. Before we read however, the temptation is going to be for us to focus on those who are called to submit, but as we read, I want you to hear the call for those who are to submit, but I also want to strongly encourage you to hear the call for the one being submitted to and how they are to live. Therefore, let us carefully hear the word of the LORD now from Ephesians 5:21-6:9.... The main idea for Ephesians 5:21-6:9 is this, part of being spirit-filled is a call to reorient our lives in a Christ-centered manner by submitting ourselves to one another, making us distinct from the world. We are going to unfold this in four parts: (1) submission to one another, (2) submission and marriage, (3) submission and parenting, and (4) submission and work. I. Submission to One Another (5:21) For the sake of context, let us go back and read Ephesians 5:18-21 together.... We focused on the first three parts of being spirit-filled two weeks ago, the fellowship of speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit (5:19a), the worship of singing and making music from our hearts to the LORD (5:19b), and the giving of thanks to the LORD in everything in the name of Christ (5:20). But we stopped prior to the fourth part of being spirit-filled, the call to submit to one another. That was not by accident, but intentional. For the other three are quickly mentioned, but the call to submit to one another is mentioned in verse 21 of chapter 5, but then expanded on from 5:22-6:9 in the various relationships. Why? Because this part of being spirit-filled is one that is evident within the life of the Christian home and how relationships in the home are to be affected by the gospel. Or as John Stott puts it in his commentary, "It (being submission) is one of their most evident characteristics that they (Christians) submit to one another."1 The temptation for us is to throw off a passage like this in the Bible as something cultural for the day that Paul and this early church lived in. To say that we as a culture as a society have evolved and submission is no longer something we should focus on. But that couldn't be further from the case. While the world around us continues to both resist and abuse the idea of submission, we as Christians must lean in and submit ourselves to the authority of the Bible and how it addresses this idea of submission in our Christian lives, particularly within our home life. Submission, according to the Bible is a call for us to submit to one another out of the reverence, that is the fear, for Christ. Or as some like to call it a reverential fear or awe. The call to submission for us as Christians comes from our reverence, our awe, of Jesus. And our submission to one another is to model the submission of Jesus to the Father, and even more as we will soon unfold in more detail, the submission of the church to Jesus. Both of these examples before us of submission is not a begrudging submission, but a joyful submission. Just consider our three areas of focus here that elaborate on this submission. Submission and marriage, submission and parenting, and submission and work. As noted before we read the passage in its fullness, we said that the calls for wives to submit to their husbands (5:22), the call for children to obey their parents (6:1), and the call for bondservants to obey their earthly masters (6:5) would stand out. Now, these indeed are to submit in the ways described. But the flip side of this, and the argument that we want to emphasize today is that not only are these to submit to those over them in authority, those in authority are to submit in how they lead. They are not to lead as the world does, their leadership, their headship is to follow the example of Christ! A headship of nurturing and love and gentleness. So, we need this teaching now, more than ever to understand how we, particularly within our home life are to live as Christians with godly submission. Therefore, lets now turn to these specific ways that we are encouraged to submit to one another so that we might live wisely as a spirit-filled people with our next three points. II. Submission and Marriage (5:22-33) Verses 22-24.... In the context of marriage, wives are to submit to their own husbands. There has been some confusion throughout church history that all women are to be subjected to all men, that is simply untrue. Wives are called Biblically to submit to their own husbands. And they are to do so as unto the LORD. This means that wives are to submit to their own husbands as unto the Lord. In saying as unto the Lord, it is not saying that the husband has the same authority as the LORD over his wife. It is saying that part of godly living in Christ for the wife is to submit to her husband, regardless of any details about the husband. As best as a wife can, she is to submit to her husband, to allow him to lead. For it is her Christian duty to represent the church within the context of marriage. For just as Christ is the head of the church, so the husband is the head of the wife in this same way. Therefore, wives are encouraged and urged here to submit in everything to their husbands. Before going any further and elaborating more on this submission by wives, we would be helped to make note of the kind of headship and authority the husband is called to exercise over the wife. Verses 25-31.... The headship that husbands are to have over their wives is a headship of laboring to nourish and cherish. A headship that models the headship of Christ over his bride, the church. Therefore let us consider the way in which Christ loves his bride, the church, whether this is the first time you are hearing this or this is a gospel reminder, listen closely. Jesus Christ, the son of God loves his bride, the church, to the point that he left his throne next to the Father in heaven above, descended down, took on human flesh as a baby boy. He lived a life in our mortal flesh. He therefore learned to face all that we do. Hunger and thirst, sickness, tiredness, and temptation. But unlike us, he did not sin. Jesus did not rebel against the Father as we did and still do. Jesus was obedient in all things. And he willingly went to the cross and died as an innocent man so that he could rescue us from the punishment of our sin, death. By his blood being shed, he washed our sins away, making us spotless of our guilt the moment we believed and trusted in his atoning sacrifice for our sin. And in the same way that Jesus defeated death by rising from the grave, he brought us from being dead in our sin and is making us alive in him. Conforming us more and more into his image through his Spirit. This is the way that Jesus gave himself up for his bride the church. And it is to this manner that husbands are being called to love their wives. Husbands, it might be tempting for us to look at Ephesians 5:21-24 and then look at our wives and say, see. Am I wrong? But brothers, I want you to lean in and hear what the Bible is telling us. It is not this point that we most need to see here in Ephesians 5. We need to see that as men of God, our job is to nourish and cherish our wives by serving them and laboring for their spiritual good. We are to lead, we are to be the head, but that leadership is to be used for the sake of sanctifying our wives in pointing them more and more to Jesus! We are to care for our wives as our own flesh, we are to treat them as members of our own body, we are to hold them fast to us as we who were previously two are now one body. It is this kind of love and care we as husbands are to have for our wives. And men, let's be honest here, how many of us are stepping up as the spiritual leaders of our homes? In our marriages? How many of us are leading the way, setting the example as we follow Christ? God help us to do better as we learn to lean more on Jesus to help us love our wives as we should and to love Jesus more as well. Marriage is a picture of the gospel, Verses 32-33.... This is why there is such a high calling for men to love their wives like Christ loved the church. And this then takes us back to the wives, as we see that wives are to respect her husband. For wives, your call is indeed to submit to your husbands, and the more they walk like Christ, the easier that submission should be for you. And if its not, then sister I want to encourage you to check your heart on why not? Because if your husband is laboring to lead and follow Christ, though imperfectly, maybe the issue is your own hearts desire to be in control and the boss. And sister, this is ungodly and needs to be put to death in you. On the other hand, the less like Christ your husband walks, the harder that submission is going to be for a wife. But even here, there should be a striving for the wife to submit in all she can to her husband. A wife should never submit to a husband in any manner outside of what is godly and right. This means no woman should ever submit to her husband if he is abusing her, whether it be physically, spiritually, emotionally, or psychologically. Sister, if any of you are in this situation, you need to tell the police and find someone to help you get out of that situation immediately. But even if that is not your situation and you are far from it, your submission to your husband, women, might be sat aside if he hinders you from coming to church. Your first obedience is to the LORD, then your husband. May that guide you in all that you do. And may you gain wisdom in navigating those waters. Brothers and sisters, this is the call of our lives in our marriages. And we should strive for these duties in how we live. But brothers and sisters, we too need an urgent warning here. We need to exercise patience with our spouse along the way, remembering that we fail to live up to our calling, and they will too. Let's show one another grace along the way. This is the first example of how we submit to one another, we now turn to the second with our third point. III. Submission and Children (6:1-4) Ephesians 6:1-3.... The call to honor father and mother is nothing new, it is a command of old, part of the 10 commandments. It is the fifth commandment. To help us grasp this, let us consider question 104 of the Heidelberg Catechism which asks, What is God's will for you in the fifth commandment? Answer: "That I show honor, love, and faithfulness to my father and mother and all those in authority over me; submit myself with proper obedience to all their good teaching and discipline; and also that I be patient with their failings-for by their hand God wills to rule us." The calling for children to obey their parents is good and right. It is their obedience to their parents that shows their honor for their parents. For children to obey their parents to is evidence of their understanding and fear of the LORD. For under the old covenant, living long in the land was the promise for a child obeying their parents. But under the new, Paul here is not advocating that children who obey their parents will have a long life. No, when children honor their father and mother by obeying them, they show that they will live long in the land of Canaan, that of eternal life in the promised land. It is when children's eyes are cast to Canaan's fair and happy land that they will more readily show obedience to their parents, for this is evidence of the spirit's work inside of them. A child without obedience and the desire to obey has not yet tasted the sweetness of the gospel, and has yet to be moved by the Spirit. On the flip side of this, fathers have a charge to them. Though children are to obey and honor mom and dad, parents, but particularly fathers are to bring up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord and in doing so, they are not to provoke their children to anger. Ephesians, chapter 6, verse 4.... Men, I want you to tune in here very closely, the women are not the ones primarily responsible to shepherd the hearts of children. We are, as dads. We are to be the ones to set the example for our children in following Christ. We are the ones to lead our families spiritually. We are the ones called to this task to bring our children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. That does not mean we do not lean on our wives for input, even council in seeking to do that well. But men, dads, we can't sit on the couch passively and then wonder why our children do not know the instruction of the LORD and walk in his ways. We must work hard to bring up our children in the discipline and instruct of the LORD with patience and gentleness as we teach them. We must pursue and lead their hearts to love the LORD as we set an example worthy to imitate before them. Children, obey your parents. Dads, lead the way in bringing your children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. We now turn to a third example of submission. IV. Submission and Work (6:5-9) Ephesians 6:5-8.... The bondservants here would have been originally those owned as slaves or under contract. But even here within the home dynamic, they are included. For these workers have familia responsibilities as Christians. For the Christian bond-servant, slave, worker, they are to obey those over them with fear and trembling. They are to recognize the authority that they have over them. And not just begrudgingly fear out of duty, but from the heart. Paul takes this further in saying to obey them with a sincere heart as they would Christ, the King! But he doesn't stop there, the Christian servant is to not simply obey when the master is looking, they are to not be people-pleasers, but to obey from their heart, doing the will of the LORD even when no one is watching. Much can be learned about the heart of man when he is alone and no one but the LORD is watching. Is obedience happening? The bondservant is to do what is good and right, because this is the call of the LORD as one who has been made new in Christ Jesus. For the Christian worker, their reward is not bound in their earthly masters seeing and being pleased. Their reward is from the LORD who sees all that happens. Brothers and sisters, this can easily be applied to our lives in the workplace today. Christians in the work place should be the best workers there are, because they are not kiss ups trying to please the boss. They do what they are supposed to do when the boss isn't looking and they do their work as unto the LORD, meaning that they strive to do that work with excellence. No matter how mundane or much of a struggle your job is, Christian, do your work unto the LORD from a sincere heart. But like the other relationships, a warning too turns to the master, or we could say the business owner, the boss. Verse 9.... Masters are to stop their threatening as Christians. A Christian master, a Christian boss is not to use threats on those under him, or her, in an abuse of power. For his authority is God given, and he is to use it differently and as intended, not for harm or shameful gain. Being a Christian affects every part of our lives, including our relationships. Part of our walk with Christ is a call to submit to one another, particularly in our homes. Brothers and sisters in Christ, let us pursue Christ as we labor to submit to those in authority over us, and for those in authority, to use our authority well for the glory of God and the advance of his kingdom. Let's pray.... 1 Stott, John. The Message to the Ephesians. (IVP, Downers Grove, IL, 1979). 159. --------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ --------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ Ephesians 5:21-6:24, Page #