The Garden of Anger and Contempt

Jesus gives two powerful illustrations of love for our brother, free from anger and scorn. These are not new unrealistic laws for the believer. Instead they indicate the incredible importance of love in the Kingdom... and only possible as God frees us from self-righteous anger and contempt.

Florida Man

We are planning trip to Florida for the week of Thanksgiving. Super excited. Going to see some friends out there, maybe some theme parks, definitely some water.

So we met last week to make some travel arrangements. And here’s how we went about it.

We got a big board and made a list of all the big cities that we don’t want to go to. We don’t want to go to Chicago. We don’t want to go to New York. We don’t want to go to L.A. this time.

And then we put that in Travelocity, chose NOT those cities, and hopefully we will end up in Florida. I’ll keep you posted.

Recap - Anger and Contempt

Your anger is unhelpful and useless and likely to lead you to sin. Anger is a signal that your will has been blocked. For the Christian, it is a signal to submit your will to His. God’s anger is sufficient, and perfect, and holy… and he says vengeance is His. In worship, in prayer, in submission, because we trust Him, we let go of all anger and contempt.

Why does Jesus put anger first in the “first” place?

I have a few working assumptions.

I am reading the Sermon on the Mount (aka Talk on the Hill) as one discourse, not a bunch of disjointed collected sayings.

And as one talk, I believe it was purposefully planned and structured, organized by a competent, even Master teacher.

And so, I am working with the lens that maybe order matters.

It’s important that Jesus welcomes them into the Kingdom first. These are disciples, believers, citizens of the Kingdom.

He declares them as salt and light. That is something they are, they can do it well or poorly, but it is something they are.

Then he is going to show them what righteousness really looks like, beyond that of the Scribes and Pharisees.

Beyond “not murdering” is a righteous life that has actually let go of anger and contempt.

Habitually, constantly, letting go of anger and contempt. Feeling it? Oh yes, still human, Jesus still felt all the emotions, but never sinned in his anger. Submitting his will to the Father’s will… always.

Two Examples - Reconciliation

Matthew 5:21–22 ESV

21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.

Jesus then gives us two examples of what this new kind of righteousness looks like in daily life.

Reconciliation at the Altar

Matthew 5:23–24 ESV

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Whoops! Oops, Jesus. You accidentally gave an example where someone else is angry at me… not when I’m angry at them.

How about an example where someone slaps me and I don’t slap them back… I think I read that somewhere. Or someone cuts off my chariot, and I hold myself back from calling them “raka!!!”

But that isn’t what he gives us. So let’s understand what he’s saying here.

You are offering your gift at the altar. Where’s the altar? Jerusalem. Where is Jesus? North end of Galilee. So the example is not “you’re at church” or “you are doing your daily devotionals.”

You have traveled for several days down to Jerusalem, likely for one of the feasts or high holy days. You have spent what money you have to bring the right gift, as commanded by God through Moses. Maybe you’ve waited in line for hours to get your turn at the altar and it’s finally your turn...

And then you realize. “Oh, I think Jono ‘has something against me.’” An accusation. A complaint. Imagined or invented or legitimate, it doesn’t say because apparently it doesn’t matter.

I’m from Galilee, where is my brother likely to be? Galilee. The logical thing, the practical thing, is to make a note, finish the offering, seek out my brother when I get back.

But Jesus makes an incredible statement of priority, here. We have to think of things rarer and higher on our priority list than church. In the middle of your wedding. In the middle of your baptism. You traveled to Rome and you are about to receive the Eucharist from the Pope.

Drop everything, and go seek reconciliation.

That is an incredible statement of priority.

Jesus prioritizes reconciliation over religion. The personal over the cultic. And he does so every time, this isn’t a one-off. In truth, religion is and always was about reconciliation with God and each other anyhow.

Reconciliation brings us back into right relationship and right living… Sound like righteousness? Yes and Amen.

In Court

Matthew 5:25–26 ESV

Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.

Again, the accuser. You are accused, this time the dude is suing you. Taking you before the law, before the judge.

Did you do it? It doesn’t say, because apparently it isn’t relevant.

Apparently, I heard this, you can lose in court even if you’re not guilty. Even if you didn’t do it. You can lose a lawsuit, even if it’s ridiculous.

Warning: Coffee is hot. Every stupid warning label is there because of a stupid lawsuit somewhere.

Jesus prioritizes reconciliation over the legal system. We could even read this as “don’t trust to the legal system.” It was likely even more true in his day… and certainly Jesus did not have success when he was taken to court.

Blamer

Now, that’s if your brother has something against you. What if you have something against your brother?

Stealing from later in Matthew:

Matthew 18:15–17 ESV

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

A process of reconciliation.

There’s a process, we call it “church discipline.” It almost never gets followed because what actually happens is probably at the first step, if not then the second, they get ticked and offended and “HOW DARE YOU!” and they leave the church.

History of Reconciliation - Blamer and the Blamed

So whether you are the blamer or the blamed, you have the responsibility to seek reconciliation.

So whether you are the blamer or the blamed, you have the responsibility to seek reconciliation.

Those words may sound familiar. In November of 2019 I preached those words… on these same passages. We had, in our church at that time, a culture of Silence.

The resentments were there, the hurt was there, the contempt and scorn was there… but folks were just pretending really well that it wasn’t.

And that was gross.

And so I preached these passages, and said these words, and some folks reached out and had some hard conversations. And I know there was some healing had.

But… some healing was not had. In fact, in the following months there were a whole lot of folks who picked up and left the church instead.

And that was so hard, I still grieve. Folks didn’t leave for the same reasons, not the same stated reasons at least… but everyone took a measure of hurt with them… and left a measure of hurt behind.

So I preach Jesus’ words with fear and trembling, to be honest.

Magic Formula and New Laws

Here’s what I want: I want church discipline to be a magic formula that works every time. You walk the process, and it restores people to fellowship every time.

But even in Jesus’ stated process, there are failure conditions at each step, right? There is no promise here of reconciliation, only the motivation to pursue it.

And back in our text, Matthew 5:23.

Matthew 5:23–24 ESV

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

What if the “reconciliation to your brother” doesn’t work? Does Jesus promise that it will?

He doesn’t. And so you go to the altar again, and you realize your brother still has something against you, so you leave again and find him and.... do you never worship again? That’s crazy town!

Anyone know someone who is holding something against you and you’ve tried and you’ve tried and you sincerely don’t know how to try again or try differently? It doesn’t mean the story is over, but leaving church every morning to go get them isn’t going to lead to reconciliation, it’s going to lead to a restraining order.

What is Jesus talking about here?

These. Aren’t. Laws. They aren’t laws. These aren’t new laws for the Christian to follow.

This doesn’t have the language of law, the caveats of law. Try 3 times, in this scenario, 8 in this scenario, those are laws. Leviticus is full of caveats and situations and a legal system to mediate the gray areas in between.

This doesn’t have that, because these aren’t laws.

There is DANGER and DAMAGE in treating these as laws. In treating them as magic formulas. I did the “Jesus thing” and now you have to love and forgive me and it has to look like I expect and want it to look… or it gives rise to more anger and contempt, because I haven’t let go of my anger and contempt yet. If I’m really just bringing you my anger and contempt and slapping you in the face with hit… that’s using Jesus’ words as an excuse to vent my anger and contempt, maybe with a veneer of niceness and Jesus-y language. Gross.

These aren’t laws. This isn’t a magic formula.

This is a picture, a tiny parable, of life without anger.

A Parable of Life Without Anger

Why does Jesus use examples of someone having something against me? His example here is of someone who is already free of anger and contempt.

HOW DARE THEY HOLD SOMETHING AGAINST ME! That’s anger.

How pathetic that they are still holding on to that! That’s contempt.

It’s the only way. If my brother has something against me, what does anger do in me? I have something against him! Even if it’s only that I’m ticked that he has something against me! His anger gives rise to my anger, he is blocking my will.

And oh, now I have to drop everything at the altar, travel back to Galilee, all because my brother has something against me… I’m ticked! I get that story.

But imagine someone who’s righteousness exceeds that of the Scribes and Pharisees. The Holy Spirit is working in them to produce love and peace and patience, all the things. Sure, they felt angry in the moment, but that was a signal to submit their will to the Father’s will… and they did.

And so what do they feel towards the accuser? Not anger, not contempt, not scorn… they love their brother. That’s it.

And so an opportunity arises to seek reconciliation? They pursue it. Even at great cost, even at great sacrifice, even at SUPER inconvenient moments. That’s righteousness. That’s love.

HOW DARE THEY SUE ME! That’s anger.

Their lawsuit doesn’t stand a chance, I’ll win in court, how embarrassing for them. That’s contempt.

Seeking peace wherever possible. That’s love. That’s righteousness.

Does Jesus promise that reconciliation is going to work? No, he doesn’t. But love will seek every fruitful option.

Paul connects these two things, back in my favorite “VENGEANCE” verse.

Romans 12:17–19 ESV

17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

See that in verse 18? “If possible.” “So far as it depends on you...”

Paul knows we live in a broken world, full of broken people. Was Jesus able to perfectly reconcile with everyone around him? No, obviously not, some folks took “what they had against him,” and then took him to court, and then nailed him to a tree.

This is not a formula to be followed in lockstep but a vision of what life should be like in the Kingdom of God.

Garden of the Spirit

What does all this have to do with anger? And how do we actually “do” this?

Is this a righteousness that you earn by acting out the steps Jesus sets forth here? No! Not a new law for the Christian! Not a new “try hard.”

We are making a plan to go to Florida. Planning NOT to go to New York is a STUPID plan for going to Florida.

Jesus is making a plan for you to love as He loves. NOT angering is a stupid plan for love. But if you love, you’ll find yourself not angry and pursuing reconciliation.

Jesus loves you. He lived a perfect life, died for you, gave you His righteousness, His life, that you are now a NEW creation in Christ. The Holy Spirit resides in you, disciple, creating righteous life in you, and that bursts out in righteous fruit.

And you recognize that fruit when you see it: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control.

That is the destination. We love because He first loved us, we grow in love for Jesus and, as a fruit of walking with Jesus, of living by His Spirit, we love those He loves.

Reconciliation is an outcome of righteousness.

Reconciliation is an outcome of righteousness.

So we love the dude who is suing us. Not just pretending to love him because of a new Jesus-law… loving because Jesus loves him and we’re learning to love what and who he loves. It takes effort, it takes attention and intention, it takes crucifying the flesh. In fact that’s the follow-up to the whole “fruit” metaphor:

Galatians 5:22–24 ESV

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Paul before that points out the works of the flesh. “Fits of anger” is one of them.

We then, are like a gardener. We are being taught to recognize the good fruit, “Yes, more of that please.” And we recognize the weeds. And we crucify the weeds. Nope, your dead, I’m dead to that, I’m not going to water that, I’m not going to encourage it, feed it.

So when anger rises up in me, it’s a little cue. Surrender to the Will of the Father… it’s the old self that wants to hold on to anger and nurture it into hate. That’s crucified and dead with Jesus.

When contempt seeks to lead me to dismiss and demean, de-person those around me… I recognize that as the old flesh. Crucified and dead on the cross.

And then, empowered by the Holy Spirit with love, peace, patience, with all of that… I am free to seek radical reconciliation.

This is, instead, a new super power you have. By the righteousness of Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit in you…

Reconciliation is an outcome of righteousness.

You have the power of reconciliation. The inhuman power to set aside your own pride, your own anger, your own contempt and make peace possible. Can you imagine a whole group of people who honestly did that? Who mutually set aside pride and anger and contempt and pursued love and peace.

I mean… a people like that might be famous for the way they love each other. By that kind of love “all the world would know they are Jesus’ disciples...”

Why do we fall so short of the vision, the command, that Jesus gives us to love each other like that?

We believe lies like:

You’ve humbled yourself enough, it’s their turn

Your anger is righteous, so you don’t have to give it to God

Your contempt is accurate, they really do stink

Jesus teaches us what righteousness really looks like. Aren’t you glad Jesus didn’t use any of those excuses. He is the ultimate fulfillment: he left heaven itself to “make it right” with you and me. He came to terms with the accuser and the judge and took the penalty. “While we were yet sinners...” he made peace.

This is love. This is righteousness.

Use your Jesus-given super power to pursue peace, to make peace possible. Jesus says this is “drop-everything” important.

I’m not giving you a to-do list… but I suspect the Holy Spirit might be. Jesus isn’t laying down a “new law” to follow… but if the Holy Spirit is putting a name on your heart right now… that is a command from God. You best obey that. “Yes, Lord.”

Call them up. “I want to make this right. What’s it going to take?”

“I want to ask your forgiveness.” “Can we do coffee?”

Use your Jesus-given super power: show the radical and impossible love He has taught you.