Knowing My Place in the Kingdom

This series began four weeks ago looking at the kingdom of heaven as expressed in the stories of Jesus in Matthew’s gospel. And we spent those first four weeks just in Matthew 13. Today we finally move forward to a different part of Matthew’s gospel. In Matthew 18 the focus turns to community; the gospel writer focuses on how it is we as followers of Jesus ought to live in community with one another. The kingdom stories that Jesus brings into this chapter lean in that direction.

The chapter begins with the example of a child. And let me say there is a difference between being child-like and being childish. Jesus is not calling for his people to be childish (immature). Rather he is steering us in a direction of seeing our place in the kingdom as child-like; he refers to it as accepting of lowly position. The story Jesus tells to end chapter 18 helps describe what that looks like.

Matthew 18:1–5 (NIV)

Matthew 18:1–5 NIV

1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” 2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

Matthew 18:21–35 (NIV)

Matthew 18:21–35 NIV

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. 23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. 28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. 29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ 30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. 32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

this parable comes in response to a question by the disciple Peter

Here again is one of those parables in the Bible that can perhaps leave us a little bit unnerved. It seems to end in a word of very harsh judgement. After all, the unforgiving servant in this story is hauled away to be tortured. And Jesus ends the story by saying “this is how my heavenly Father will treat you unless you forgive…from your heart.” First off, let’s not lose sight of how this whole discussion begins leading into this parable. This parable comes in response to a question by the disciple Peter. He asks how often he should forgive someone who has committed wrong. Up to seven times?

The background for this comes from Jewish tradition. The Mishnah notes that a person who sins and then repents and then commits the same sin again should be granted forgiveness three times. If after the third repentance, the person goes back the same sin a fourth time, then forgiveness is no longer required. Peter is actually suggesting to boost that level of mercy—not just three times, but seven times. (Both three and seven are numbers of symbolic significance in Jewish tradition.) The story that Jesus tells in response to Peter’s question pushes the boundaries of this question right over the edge and completely reframes the issue.

judgement and fear are the wrong approach to this story because Jesus is using hyperbole

The clear implication is that this story, then, is not meant to scare the disciples—or us—into behaving a certain way in order to escape judgement and punishment. Jesus is not saying “you better do this or else…” After all, if fear of judgement is what triggers obedience, then it is never truly forgiveness that comes from the heart, as Jesus is insisting. Judgement and fear are the wrong approach to this story. And the reason is because this story is full of hyperbole that should be noted. Hyperbole is a literary device which uses intentional exaggeration beyond what is true to make a point. Jesus often uses hyperbole in his stories to make a point—he exaggerates details so that the lesson becomes more obvious.

10,000 bags of gold = 10,000 years’ wages

What are the exaggerated details in this story? The amount of money owed in this story would have been laughable. The updated NIV version that we are using translates it as 10,000 bags of gold. Older English translations call it 10,000 talents. In the Roman world of Jesus’ time, a talent was not a set amount of money. A talent was a reference to average annual income. A talent would be the amount which the average person would receive as working wages for one year. In other words, Jesus is setting this servant in the story with a debt of 10,000 years’ worth of salary. It is obviously meant to be seen as something which could never possibly be repaid.

100 silver coins = about 3 months’ wages

final punishment received by the unforgiving servant is infinitely exaggerated to highlight the way in which Jesus means to show forgiveness and reconciliation as infinitely necessary

By contrast, the debt owed between the two servants is much different. The NIV Bible we are reading calls it 100 silver coins. Older translations call it 100 denarii. Again, a denarii was not an exact amount of money, it was a reference to one day’s wages. In other words, the debt owed by the second servant is equal to just over three months’ worth of salary. This debt was not impossible; it could have been repaid. The difference in detail would have been striking to original audience around Jesus. The first debt was unpayable, and cancelling that debt would have been seen as impossible. The second debt would have been seen as manageable, and a repayment plan would have been much more expected rather than prison. In the end of this story, the final punishment received by the unforgiving servant is infinitely exaggerated to highlight the way in which Jesus means to show forgiveness and reconciliation as infinitely necessary. In short, Jesus does not want us to miss how vitally important forgiveness is within the kingdom of heaven. This parable is not meant to be “do this or else…” It is meant to be “pay attention to how important this is…”

As has been our habit when looking at these parables in Matthew, there are two features we want to identify. We are looking for the kingdom idea in this story. And we are looking for the expected response in this story. Today I want us to move through these things in reverse order from what we have done in the past weeks. The only reason is because I think the intended response for this story seems absolutely clear. So, let’s work that towards identifying the kingdom idea. And then we will circle back to see some of the practical implications of this response in light of the kingdom idea being expressed in this story.

my response — forgive others just as I have been forgiven

The response seems obvious because the story is meant to directly answer the question which Peter asks about forgiveness. My response is to forgive others just as I am forgiven by God. Jesus is not giving an actual number attached to forgiveness. Jesus is not saying that on the 78th offence you no longer need to forgive because 77 times are all that is required. The actual number is not important because, again, this story leans so heavily on hyperbole. Jesus is intentionally exaggerating to make a point. And the point is our forgiveness of one other should be as boundless as God’s forgiveness is for us.

However, to simply say “be a more forgiving person” leaves us a bit short on application. Mostly because forgiveness is not always easy; and just saying it does not make it happen. We are going to have to do a little more digging to find out what this response really looks like in our everyday lives. And this where we should backtrack a little further to consider the kingdom idea this story holds.

0ur forgiveness comes at a cost, and Jesus is the one who paid that cost on our behalf

Every single Sunday I try to remind us of one thing: that Jesus gave himself on the cross so that we could be set free from the guilt of our sin. You and I receive the grace of God and the mercy of God. You and I are forgiven of the guilt our sin holds against us. But the wrongs of our sin go so deep and are so great that God could not simply snap his fingers and poof our guilt away. Our forgiveness comes at a cost. And Jesus is the one who paid that cost on our behalf. There is never any way that any of us could give what Jesus gave so that God’s forgiveness could redeem us.

we now have a restored relationship with God which is sealed for all eternity — once again in community with God because of God’s grace and mercy which brings us forgiveness by way of the cross

You and I are the ones who owe the debt of 10,000 years’ worth of wages. Because of our sin, we were each holding a debt that could never be repaid. And in the case of our salvation, God did not simply cancel the debt; Jesus paid it. The forgiveness we have received from God is a forgiveness that comes at a cost; and Jesus is the one who paid it. Let’s push this one step further. What is the result of being forgiven by God? We now have a restored relationship with God which is sealed for all eternity. Because we are forgiven by God, we are now also redeemed by God. A relationship to God which was once broken and impossible because of our sin has now been reconciled and brought back because we are forgiven. You and I are now once again in community with God because of God’s grace and mercy which brings us forgiveness by way of the cross.

kingdom idea — the kingdom of heaven is a place in which those who have received the grace and mercy of God extend grace and mercy to others

those who receive such extravagant forgiveness are expected to extend extravagant forgiveness to others

This grace and mercy from God which comes to us in God’s forgiveness is so extravagant that it comes to characterize who we are as a part of God’s community now. That’s the kingdom idea developed in this parable. The kingdom of heaven is a place in which those who have received the grace and mercy of God extend grace and mercy to others. Jesus summarizes this in one phrase of the Lord’s Prayer. “Forgive us our debts as we also forgive our debtors.” And here’s the thing, this should be automatic. This parable is striking and it smacks us in the face not just because of the way in which Jesus exaggerates the details, it should also strike us as incomprehensible that this servant who had received such enormous forgiveness fails to extend that forgiveness to others. That’s in the story too, by the way. Verse 31 tells us that the other servants who witnessed this were outraged. Of course, those who receive such extravagant forgiveness are expected to extend extravagant forgiveness to others.

Why do we struggle with forgiveness when we have been so extravagantly forgiven by God?

But this unforgiving servant doesn’t do that. Why? The story does not say. But maybe that detail is left open so that the question ultimately comes not to the servant in the story, but to you and me. Why do we struggle with forgiveness when we have been so extravagantly forgiven by God? Let’s turn our attention back to the response, then, and consider some application of what this kingdom idea looks like in our everyday lives right now.

I cannot forgive someone and hold a grudge against them at the same time

What is it that keeps us from being forgiving people? Let me suggest two things which get in the way of us moving towards embracing this kingdom idea which Jesus talks about in this story. The first is this: grudges. I cannot forgive someone and hold a grudge against them at the same time. Holding onto bitter contempt and grudges make forgiveness impossible for us. I cannot forgive others unless I also let go of bitter contempt for others. I cannot hold onto grudges against others and also forgive others. This is key. In this parable there is a servant who received extravagant forgiveness from the master. Yet because this servant is unwilling to let go of what he feels he is owed by someone else, he fails to truly embrace the forgiveness he was given.

bitter contempt and grudges are toxic to forgiveness

Bitter contempt and grudges are toxic to forgiveness. If you are ever going to be a person who embraces the kingdom which starts in your own backyard, then you absolutely must let go of whatever grudge you are holding. Just look at how toxic that is on our society around us right now. Our society has elevated culture war issues to such a level that those who hold different perspectives are not just people with whom we disagree. They are seen as the enemy. I am not saying we all need to agree about everything all the time. But once that crosses a line from disagreement to enemy, forgiveness becomes all but impossible.

grudges affect us physically, emotionally, mentally, & spiritually

Holding grudges adds such a weight of stress and anxiety to our lives. It takes a lot of energy and emotional effort to hold onto a grudge. Grudges wear you out and run you down. And that’s because grudges and bitterness can take over everything else. Grudges and bitter contempt stir up anger and resentment to a point at which we are consumed by it. It affects every part of you. It affects you physically with tension. It affects you emotionally with anxiety. It affects you mentally with dark thoughts. And let’s especially remember that it affects you spiritually because it turns us away from forgiveness instead of turning us towards forgiveness.

am I holding onto grudges and bitter contempt?

If you want to take a step today towards embracing the kingdom idea of extending grace and mercy which echoes the grace and mercy we have received, start by letting go of grudges. Ask yourself, “who is it in my life I am holding grudges against?” And begin by praying to God a prayer of confession. Let the first step towards letting go of that bitterness be a confession before God acknowledging it to God.

allow yourself to be forgiven

The second suggestion is this: allow yourself to be forgiven. Sometimes you and I refuse to extend forgiveness to other people because we refuse to receive forgiveness ourselves. Sometimes we are people who can live under such an overwhelming wave of our own shame that we cannot allow ourselves to be set free by the forgiveness God has given to us. sometimes you and I continue to live as people who strive over and over to live holy and pure lives not out of gratitude for what Jesus has already done, but out of guilt that we haven’t done enough.

to accept the forgiveness of God is to admit that I am helpless on my own to confront and overpower the grip of sin in my own life

Sometimes people refuse to embrace the forgiveness of God because they see it as a sign of weakness. To accept that I am forgiven is to accept that I am a person so broken by sin that I need forgiveness in the first place. To accept the forgiveness of God is to admit that I am helpless on my own to confront and overpower the grip of sin in my own life. There are certainly people in this world who will try to do anything and everything on their own rather than admitting helplessness before God. But how can we accept the forgiveness God provides unless we also accept how much we need it.

do I allow myself to live as a person forgiven by God?

In order to extend grace and mercy into the lives of others, I must first embrace the extent to which I have received grace and mercy from God. In order to forgive others, I need to know the extent to which I have been forgiven. Do you allow yourself to live as a person forgiven by God?

the kingdom of heaven is a community of forgiveness—forgiveness that we receive, and forgiveness that we extend

The kingdom of heaven is a community. It is a community of people forgiven and redeemed by God to be his family. The grace and mercy we have received from God does not only make us right with God in restored relationship to him, it is a grace and mercy which also shows us how to be made right with each other in restored relationship with one another. The kingdom of heaven is a community of forgiveness—forgiveness that we receive, and forgiveness that we extend.