Attacking Shame With The Gospel

When I was in the seventh grade, I did something really stupid and suffered intense shame as a result. It was “bring canned food to school day” — or something like that. A food drive, basically. And my mom had sent me to school that day with two glass cans of green beans in my book bag.

Now if I had done what I was supposed to do, and take them out of my bookbag and put them in the canned food box by the door, this wouldn’t have happened. But I forgot. I walked through the doors and straight to homeroom with two glass cans of green beans in my book bag.

Now, middle schoolers are rough with book bags. And middle school textbooks are big and chunky. You probably already know where this is going… I’m surprised the glass remained intact as long as it did.

As I was walking down the hall between classes late in the day, I became aware of the aroma of green beans, and I became aware of the sound of liquid dripping onto the floor, and it seemed to be following me. That’s right — one of the green bean cans shattered and leaked the contents all over the inside of my book bag and left a trail of bean juice all the way down the seventh grade hallway.

I received a nickname that day — and I must have blocked it out because I can’t remember what it was. What I experienced I would have described as embarrassment back then, but now I know that it was shame. I made a mistake — I’m suffering the painful consequences of that mistake — and to make it all so much worse, everyone sees it.

That is shame in a nutshell. I’ve messed up. I’m dealing with painful consequences. And everybody is watching me. I am embarrassed. I am ashamed.

Now there’s more than one kind of shame. There is what we would call non-moral shame. This is shame that is not due to your sin. The green bean incident is an example of that. But what the sermon is about today is shame that results from personal sin. I have sinned. It’s ugly. The consequences are embarrassing. And everyone sees it. God sees it.

The Lord wants to help us with our shame. He is compassionate toward us and wants to cover our shame. With that said, we turn to 1 John 1:5-2:2. Attacking shame with the gospel.

[SLIDE: THE ROOT OF SHAME]

#1: The root of shame

What is the root of shame? Where does it come from? John tells us in verse 5. “This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you” — and here it is — “that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.” John is saying that God is light.

Think of an old, dark room, in an old house. You walk in to the room and the shades are pulled down, the lights are off. There is some light that comes in from around the shades, and you can see shadows of the furniture in the room. But in that dim light, shadows are all you can see. Is the room dirty? Is the furniture in bad shape? Do the walls need to be painted? We don’t know. There’s not enough light to see.

If the room is in good shape, turning the light on is just going to make everything look better. But if the room is in bad shape, if I open the shades or turn on the light, we can see that the furniture is old. We can see that the couch and chairs are torn and faded. You can see that there is a thick layer of dust on all the surfaces. Turning on the light either makes the good stuff look better, or makes the bad stuff look worse.

Now when John says that God is light, He means that God is holy. God is pure. Think about how a pure diamond gives off a radiance. In the same way, God’s purity makes Him resplendent with glory. His glory is the brightness of His holiness. Paul says God is:

[SLIDE: 1TIM 6:15-16]

1 Timothy 6:15–16 ESV

which he will display at the proper time—he who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen.

God is the source of light. “Let there be light” — God spoke these words at creation and we’re then told that creation was filled with the light of God Himself. Jesus came proclaiming that He is the Light of the world. Jesus also told us that we are to reflect His radiance. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden” (Matt. 5:14 ESV).

God’s light illuminates our sin, and it’s uncomfortable. Light illuminates a room and previously obscure objects are visible. Pretty things look nicer. Unpleasant objects look even more unpleasant.

This is where shame comes from.

[SLIDE: SHAME VS. GUILT]

Shame vs. guilt:

Guilt is something we have

Shame is something we feel

“I have sinned” & “Others/God sees it”

Shame is not the same as guilt. Guilt is something we have. If we have sinned, we are guilty. But shame is not something we have; shame is something we feel. Shame is that feeling of anxiety or discomfort that comes from knowing two things: 1) I have sinned, and 2) it is visible — others see it — God sees it.

And some shame can be beneficial. If we commit sin and do not initially feel shame, our heart is hardened and that is not good. But when shame lingers — when shame cripples us — when shame makes us hide from others — when shame makes us run from God — that is when shame is no longer beneficial; that is when shame has become problematic.

How do we attack shame? Three ways. First, we attack shame by shunning hypocrisy.

[SLIDE: ATTACK SHAME BY SHUNNING HYPOCRISY]

#2: Attack shame by shunning hypocrisy

1 John is one of my favorite books in the NT because it is so practical. Look at verse 6: “If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.”

Follow his train of thought. What did John say about God is verse 5: God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all. It’s simple logic. If God is light, and no darkness is to be found in him, if we ourselves are walking in darkness, and we claim to have fellowship with God, are we telling the truth?

We attack shame by shunning hypocrisy. What is hypocrisy?

There was a man who lived in the midwest who appeared in a newspaper story in the Chicago Tribune. In that story, the author told of a man named Joe who was very concerned about his son’s internet usage. He installed content filters on his son’s computer. He didn’t want his son to be able to access pornography and become hooked on it.

This is what he said: “My wife and I pay close attention to what he reads, what he watches on TV and what he does on the computer because we have a responsibility to him to be the best parents we can.”

But that’s not the only reason the story was written about this father named Joe. Joe, the dad who installed content filters on his son’s computer, was the owner of an Internet pornography website. [Craig Brian Larson, 750 Engaging Illustrations for Preachers, Teachers & Writers (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2002), 260.]

What is hypocrisy? Saying one thing but doing another. Claiming to believe something but then doing things that contradict what we say we believe. Claiming to have fellowship with God and walking in darkness. We would say “your actions are speaking so loudly that I can’t hear what you’re saying.”

John has a simple remedy for this. Walk in the light. Verse 7: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin”.

What does it mean to walk in the light? It means to do the things that please God. Look down a few verses to chapter two verses 5-6: “By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked” (1 John 2:5-6 ESV). What does it mean to walk in the light? It means to do the things that please God.

Then look down a few more verses at chapter two verses 9-10: “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling” (1 John 2:9-10 ESV). What does it mean to walk in the light? It means to do the things that please God.

Hypocrisy makes us feel shame. There’s a simple remedy: Walk in the light. Do the things that please God.

John says there are two things that come from walking in the light, two results of shunning hypocrisy. The first one is that we have fellowship with other believers. Verse 7: “If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.”

Sin makes you feel alone. Unconfessed sin makes you feel isolated, alienated. That is the devil’s work — he wants to convince you that you are alone in your sin. Coming into the light means that experience of fellowship is restored.

The second result of walking in the light? “if we walk in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.”

When we shun hypocrisy, when we walk in the light, when we choose the things that please God, we will experience God’s forgiveness. We always have forgiveness, if we’ve trusted in Christ for salvation. But we don’t always have the assurance of forgiveness. We don’t always feel forgiven. Confession clears the way for you to feel forgiven.

The first way we attack shame with the gospel is by shunning hypocrisy. The second? Attack shame by confessing your sin.

[SLIDE: ATTACK SHAME BY CONFESSING]

#3: Attack shame by confessing your sin

Look at verse 8: “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” The same thing with a different twist is found in verse 10: “If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.”

Our culture doesn’t know what to do with sin. So they do one of two things: they hide it and pretend it doesn’t exist, or they glorify it.

When I was in my 20s, I worked for a non-profit corporation whose mission was to market the nation’s capital for tourists. You might wonder if the nation’s capital really needs a marketing agency. But they do. In the 1970s and 1980s, DC had one of the highest murder rates in the world. Then came Sep. 11. It was our job, in the years after 9/11, to convince people that it was safe to come to DC and that if they came to DC, they would enjoy themselves. Everything we wrote and published had that goal.

So we played up all the great restaurants and cool museums. We wanted to change the reputation DC from being a political swamp, or a hotbed of crime, or a terrorist target But the reality is, for all the cool things DC has, it will always be a target; there will always be corrupt politicians; there will always be crime. No amount of focusing on the positives can make the negatives go away. Marketing professionals cannot change that.

And in the same way, you and I are marketing professionals when it comes to our own image. We want to put our best foot forward. If that’s your goal, the worst thing you can do is admit fault, to admit that you are in the wrong.

What is John’s response to that? In verse 8, he says if we do that, we’re deceiving ourselves. In verse 10, he says if we do that, we make God a liar. In verses 8 and 10, he says if we do that, the truth is not in us, God’s word is not in us. After all, from cover to cover, from Genesis to Revelation, it is God’s verdict on humanity that we are lost and sinful and in desperate need of a Savior. Just as a sample, Proverbs 20:9 says “Who can say, ‘I have made my heart pure; I am clean from my sin?” (ESV). The implied answer is nobody. How can God’s word be in me if I deny what it says?

There’s a better alternative. Our culture may only hide from sin or glorify sin. But God has given us a third way: confessing our sin. Verse 9, one of the most beautiful texts in all of the Bible, a comfort text, one worth filing away or memorizing: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”.

[SLIDE: CONFESSION]

Confession:

To whom: God (but at times, other people)

What is it: Going on record against yourself

Well, what is confession? We brought this up in Bible study Wednesday night. We asked, is confession just saying “I’m sorry”? They said, no, probably not. Saying “I’m sorry” leaves us too many loopholes. You’ve heard someone give a bad apology? There are two kinds of bad apologies: “I’m sorry IF” and I’m sorry BUT”.

“I’m sorry if you think I was belittling you in front of your coworkers.” “I’m sorry if you interpreted my comments as making fun of you in front of your friends.”

Then there’s “I’m sorry BUT.” And it’s even worse. “I’m sorry for borrowing your coat without asking. But it was so cold outside that I had to do it.” “I’m sorry for not showing up when I said I was, but you don’t have the right to be this angry about it.” “I’m sorry if...” “I’m sorry but...”

Confession is different. Confession takes guts, because do you know what you’re doing with confession? You’re going on record against yourself. “God, I was wrong, you are right.” “Lord, that was sin. I own it. I need forgiveness.”

And what God promises to those who confess is twofold: What does the text say in the second part of verse 9? “he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse from all unrighteousness.” Once we’ve confessed our sin, it’s gone. God never brings it up against us again. God doesn’t shame us. Once we confess it, He doesn’t remind us of it. And He doesn’t merely forgive us: He cleanses us. Sin makes us dirty. God washes it off.

And He’s faithful and just to do it. He’s faithful - you don’t have to wonder what kind of mood He’s in. You don’t have to worry about whether he’ll receive you today. He is the same yesterday, today, and forevermore. He’s faithful to forgive.

Faithful and just. He’s just to forgive — He has made provision for your sins to be forgiven if you will but confess to Him. He has laid your sins on Jesus Christ who took them away and made an end of them. He has promised in His covenant with us to forgive us our sins. He would be unjust not to forgive. There is no sin that He will not forgive.

How many of you came in here feeling dirty? Of course, I won’t ask you to raise your hands on that one. And most of us would never admit it. You don’t have to leave here that way. “He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

“But Dustin, you don’t understand. I have sins I have never been able to overcome, for years and years. I despair of ever defeating them.” “He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

“Dustin, there are things that I have done that no one knows about. I am so ashamed of them. I can’t believe that God would forgive me. “He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

I’m here to tell you, if you confess your sins with sincerity of heart, with faith that God will forgive you, He will forgive you and cleanse you and set you back on the path to following His Son. And once you’ve confessed your sin, any shame you feel then is false shame. You can dismiss it. It isn’t real.

Attack shame by shunning hypocrisy. Attack shame by confessing your sin. Lastly, attack shame by trusting in your Defender.

#4: Attack shame by trusting in your Defender

Chapter two verse 1: “My little children” — John is an old man now and he has been with this congregation a long time, he loves them and has affection for them and wants to help them — “my little children” — and that is God expressing affection to you and me, His little children — “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin.”

Translation: it is always better not to sin in the first place, than to sin and need forgiveness. But the reality is that we will not always be successful in the fight against sin. So he says, “But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world” (1John 2:1-2 ESV).

Now I said, attack shame by trusting in your defender. Who is the defender? Jesus Christ the Righteous. Actually the translation I use calls him the Advocate. How many of you like crime shows?

Quick survey: how many of you watch the old show Law and Order? How many of you ever watched the really old show Perry Mason? We like Blue Bloods and we’re currently going back through all the seasons. I think we’re in season two.

I ask that because I want you to imagine a courtroom setting. Who do you have in a courtroom? There’s a jury. There’s the prosecution: the person bringing the charges. There’s the defense, consisting of the defense attorney defending the defendant against the charges, and then there’s the defendant — we are the defendant. And of course, there’s the Judge. God is the Judge.

Satan would be the prosecuting attorney. He wants to prove us guilty. And there is plenty of evidence for our guilt. God the Judge has a book in which are written all the sins we have ever committed. On your own, you could never survive the accusations.

But we have a defense attorney, and that is Jesus. The word “Advocate” here actually comes out of the courtroom setting (TDNTA). Why do we have an attorney when we go to court? Because most human beings are not able to represent themselves in court. We can’t stand against an experienced prosecutor and defend ourselves adequately. We need one to defend us in court.

And what John is saying here is that Jesus defends us in the law court of heaven. Who is Jesus defending us against? The accusations of Satan. But who is Jesus defending us to? God the Judge. He presents our case. He pleads our cause. He is doing this now for all of us, every day. When I sin, and Satan throws an accusation my way, Jesus steps into my place and says, “Father, what he’s is saying is true. Dustin is guilty. But Dustin also trusts in me. My blood covers his sin.”

But will the Father accept the pleas of His Son? Yes. Look at what John calls him: “We have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ, the” — what? “Jesus Christ the Righteous One”. The one who never sinned — the one whose life and death atoned for our sins — the One whom the Father loves.

But what about my sin? God can’t just sweep it under the rug. God is light. He is just, holy, righteous. He must punish sin. So, here’s the question: is there a way for God to punish sin and let me go free? Is it possible for God to somehow atone for my sin while forgiving me? Look at verse 2: “He” — Jesus — “is the propitiation for our sins” — the atoning sacrifice — Jesus offers Himself up to God to be punished in our place. That is how God can deal justly with sin while dealing mercifully with us.

Call for response

And here is how we gradually defeat shame. If Jesus bore our sin, He’s also taken our shame. And we no longer have to bear it.

What I’m about to read to you is something I didn’t write. I discovered it. It is a call to worship. It is a welcome from God. And it expresses my vision for the tone of everything we do here at Buffalo.

“To all who are weary and need rest. To all who mourn and long for comfort. To all who fail and desire strength. To all who sin and need a savior, this church opens wide her doors with a welcome from Jesus, the friend of sinners.”

We want to be the kind of church where people find relief and healing from shame.