Keeping the Lock in Wedlock

I. The Genesis Model - Genesis 2:22-25

Genesis 2:22–25 ESV

22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

It is interesting to note that marriage is the first social unit established by God. In Genesis 2:22-25 we see five elements of this union.

5 Elements in the Base Model

1. Similar Nature

2. One Man + One Woman

3. 1st Priority

4. Exclusivity

5. No Shame

Man and woman are the same in nature, both created by God and expressly made for each other.

The marriage unit consists of only one man and one woman. This is the model blessed by God (not two men, two women or three women and one man, etc.)

The union of a man and his wife supersedes the union of these people with their parents. When men and women marry, their new relationship takes priority over their relationship with parents. The marriage bond does not eliminate the parental bond, it takes priority over it.

The marriage union is exclusive (one flesh) and cannot be entered into by any other individual, in any way. I believe that this includes artificial insemination by a third party for childless couples.

Within marriage, human sexuality can be expressed freely and completely without shame, guilt or embarrassment.

In this passage no exceptions, punishments or prohibitions were further added because there was no sin and thus no need. The marriage model in Genesis is stated in completely positive terms because man was still perfect and without sin.

There were no restrictions or exceptions here because sin had not entered into the world.

II. The Mosaic Model - Deuteronomy 24:1-4

•Man’s sin weakens the base model

Once sin enters the world, mankind is weakened to the point where everything is affected, including marriage.

Where mutual respect and honor were once assured, there is now violence and disrespect, even slavery.

Where formerly there would be a natural development of new families from existing ones, there is jealousy and possessiveness.

Where fidelity and sexual exclusiveness is the norm, impurity and adultery become widespread.

Where lifelong relationships are assumed, broken marriages and abandonment take place.

As a response to this, God, through Moses, allows certain laws to be put into place in order to mitigate or keep at a minimum the damage in marriage caused by sinfulness.

In Deuteronomy 24:1-4, one such law permitted a husband to legally divorce his wife if is she was sexually unfaithful.

Deuteronomy 24:1–4 ESV

1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, 2 and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, 4 then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.

In this passage Moses also protects the woman from being unjustly passed around from man to man by forbidding the original husband from re-marrying her. The law said you couldn't remarry your ex-wife! This establishes sexual sin as a valid reason to divorce, something not mentioned in Genesis because this sin did not exist then. Notice the development of teaching to address new problems and circumstances.

Once sin entered the world, new additions were made to the basic teaching.

Sexual sin is established as a valid reason for divorce.

III. The Gospel Model - Matthew 19:9

It's interesting to note that many people think Jesus added the exception of adultery or fornication to the teaching on marriage and divorce. People call it the "exception clause" in Matthew 19:9:

Matthew 19:9 ESV

9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Jesus clarifies the Mosaic model. Jesus added nothing new to the teaching of the Law, He merely clarified it.

Jesus added nothing new to what had already been written in the Law. He merely clarified the interpretation that some scribes were giving to Deuteronomy 24:1-4. Some were saying that you could divorce your wife for any reason, so long as you did the paperwork; and some said, no, the Law said you could only justify divorce when there was sexual immorality.

Jesus responded to the argument by reminding them that God still held them to the original model as their basis for marriage and that, according to the Law, only sexual immorality was a just cause for divorce.

There are many other issues regarding marriage but this is the only one that Jesus addressed during His ministry. Later on in the epistles, Paul will discuss other subjects.

IV. The Apostolic Model

Not all of Jesus’ teaching on every subject is contained in the gospels. For example,

There are many things that the gospel writers did not record in the gospels that were later written about in the epistles:

Indwelling of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:38)

Various Gifts (I Corinthians)

Organization of the church (I Timothy)

Many new ideas that don't contradict or confuse established ones not found in the gospels are discussed in the letters of the Apostles and this is in accordance with what Jesus had told His Apostles would eventually happen.

This is consistent with what Jesus taught the Apostles - John 16:12-14

John 16:12–14 ESV

12 “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. 13 When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. 14 He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you.

Jesus would continue to reveal His will and purpose to the Apostles concerning their work and the church through the Holy Spirit. I say this because in I Corinthians 7 there is information about marriage which is not contained in the gospels but helps us deal with the problems encountered by people in situations not addressed by Jesus, but very common.

This teaching Paul obviously received from the Holy Spirit in order to respond to the question that Christians had at that time (they needed information not found in the gospels). I'll summarize the main points Paul makes about marriage in chapter 7.

In I Corinthians 7, Paul clarifies and adds to the body of information given by Jesus concerning marriage.

1. About sexual purity - vs. 1-9

Celibacy and Marriage are Both Blessed by God

It seems that some thought that being celibate was a higher calling than being married but were feeling bad because they couldn't manage it. There may even have been some who were married and were trying to abstain from sex in order to please the Lord.

Paul tells them that people, being who they are, need to be married, and when they are they should give themselves fully to one another in sexual union (only abstaining by mutual consent and only for a short time). Paul tells them that celibacy has its advantages but is only for those who have been given the ability to live this way by God. Marriage is God's gift to man in order to deal with and find satisfaction for normal human sexual desire without sinning.

2. About Married Christians - vs. 10-11

Keep the Lock in Wedlock – 7:10-24

In the next section Paul addresses two groups concerning marriage break-ups.

Christians married to each other should remain that way.

This was a necessary teaching because among Greeks and Romans there were many classifications of marriages. Slave marriages were considered non-binding (not legal) and couples could be split-up and sold separately. Marriages between slave and free were seen as loose associations and easily dissolved.

Paul is saying that as Christians, regardless of their position in life, if they were married it was binding before God. He also specifies that if they are separated they have two choices: to live like unmarried, meaning not to engage in any sexual union with someone else as what would be expected of a Christian single person; or return to the marriage.

These two options did not involve sin. This is what Paul is trying to explain here (what can we do in difficult situations and avoid sinning). This is completely in line with Jesus' teaching. Paul says that married Christians should not divorce for any reason they wish. He doesn't mention the exception of fornication but it is assumed that they know about Jesus' teaching on this. They want clarification about their situation.

3. About Marriage between Christians and non-believers - vs. 12-24

Christians married to non-believers.

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

If the non-believer is willing to live with the believer in peace despite their faith difference, then remain married. There may have been some who thought that as Christians they may have been obliged to cut off their relationships with non believing (pagan) spouses as did the Jews who divorced their foreign pagan wives at God's command in Ezra 10. But Paul sees this as a different case not subject to laws that governed who the Jews would and could not marry in the Old Testament. Jewish Christians may have had some sensitivity to this idea but not Gentiles to whom much of this teaching is directed. He even says that such unions are sanctified (blessed/legitimate) because of the presence of the Christian in the marriage.

If the non-believer leaves, let him/her go. It seems that by his answer some believed that if they remained loyal to the relationship, they might save their partner in some vicarious way. But Paul tells them that they have no control over this once they've been abandoned, so they should just let go and live in peace.

The word Paul uses "…not under bondage…" (verse 15) is a word that denotes slavery. The idea is that in the event of abandonment, the Christian is no longer enslaved, bound or tied to the other individual or the marriage. In this entire passage Paul has been talking about marriage and divorce so his meaning here in context and in word is very clear. If abandoned, the Christian is freed from that marriage without committing a sin.

Lest we forget the original point: Paul points out three important things concerning the questions that the Corinthians are asking about marriage:

Both marriage and celibacy are blessed.The base model is always to stay married, but if your unbelieving spouse leaves you, let him go, you are not bound.Marriage is normal, but being single and dedicated to the Lord has many advantages.

In those times there was great persecution of Christians and so to marry meant the possible risk to home and family from attack. Paul prepares those who marry to be ready for the suffering they may have to endure.

4. About remaining single - vs. 25-40

He also reminds those who are able to remain single that a life wholly dedicated to God has many joys and blessings:

Less worries about worldly things, no burden of family.Greater freedom to serve and know the Lord.Freedom to go and do things on behalf of the kingdom (i.e. missions).

It depends on the place God has put you, but the choice of either life (celibate or married) will have its challenges and blessings.

Summary / Invitation

We have to carefully look at all the passages to understand the difficult issues in marriage.

For example, remarriage

Do you need prayer to stay pure, married, single?