The Transformation of Judah

Introduction

We never really know our own sin. I remember when I became a Christian and kept hearing I needed to be saved from my sins, and I believed that. But I don’t think I had ever experienced that at a heart level what it meant to be a sinner before God. I had a lot of head knowledge but that’s as far as it went and was probably the extent of my faith in the gospel as well. Events later in my life, during my Christian walk, would expose me to more of my own sin and expose a greater need for Christ and a deeper trust in what he did for me in his life, death and resurrection.

Most of the time, it takes someone else to point out our sin before we are – not just aware of it – but before we actually believe it. Why? Because we justify ourselves in so many ways. We are our own defense attorneys when God’s law accuses us. We are expert blameshifters. We are experts at excuses. It’s not greed: it’s profit. It’s not anger; its zeal. It's not abuse; it's a misunderstanding. We can think of Adam, when he blamed Eve and then blamed God for his sin before he ultimately did confess. We can think of Cain, who doubled-down on his sin with philosophy asking, “Am I my brothers’ keeper?” Think of Aaron who made the golden calf! His excuse is the best: “I asked for the gold, they gave it, I put it into the fire and out came this calf.” Or what about King Saul when he sinned by not destroying King Agag and not destroying the loot: “I did obey! Look, instead of killing everything, I have decided to keep the best to offer it to the LORD…”

When God comes to you to reveal your sin to you and others, we don’t think of that as grace. There are many people within professing Christianity who, by all doctrinal standards, would consider themselves “sinners” as a matter of doctrinal formality. However, they have never experienced themselves as sinners before others. They are willing to acknowledge the concept of their sin because the Bible says so, but they are oblivious to the experience that they are a walking ball of sin who needs the grace of God at every moment of their lives. They have never cried out with Paul, “O wretched man that I am…”

Often this involves God’s use of other people in our lives to bring our sin into the spotlight of God’s transforming grace. I say it that way because what remains in the darkness will not receive grace. It will remain hidden and corrosive. What becomes exposed can be forgiven, cleansed and healed by the gospel. But many people fear the exposure of who they are especially when they profess to be something else.

The story of Judah and Tamar has a weird placement in the midst of the story of Joseph but it is a story about God’s heat-seeking grace! If you recall, in Genesis 37, we are introduced to the young Joseph: an ambitious young man favored by his father over all his brothers. As a result, he was hated by his brothers. Having contemplated killing Joseph, Judah and his brothers decided to sell Joseph to Midianite traders who would take him to Egypt. Of all the people who participated in that sin, God’s grace will come to Judah.

As we are going to see, Judah is one messed-up guy! And he gets himself into quite a mess trying to hide his sin and assert a false sense of righteousness in order to protect himself. God will use an unlikely heroine and unlikely situation to expose Judah’s sin to himself so that he can finally submit to the grace of God.

So let’s look at Judah’s messed up life and family, Judah’s messed up daughter-in-law, and God’s transforming grace for messed-up people.

Judah’s Messed Up Life and Family

Judah is the fourth son of Jacob through Leah. His name means “praise” and he was named because his mother’s circumstances in life went from trying to earn love from Jacob, to resting in praise to God.

Now in terms of the grand narrative of things, there is a threat to the lineage of the people of Abraham. With Joseph supposedly dead, the lineage of Abraham is now one short. Rueben, the firstborn, has forfeited his chance at inheriting the blessing of the seed by sleeping with his father’s concubines (cf. Gen. 35:22; 49:3-4. Truth be told, the brothers, including Judah, do not seem to care enough about preserving the promises of God through their bloodline and are willing to cut off their brother..

In Genesis 38:1, Judah seems to have chosen to break company with his brothers. “It happened at that time that Judah went down from his brothers and turned aside to a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah.” Maybe he couldn’t stomach what they did or didn’t want to be around his father’s mourning for Joseph. Whatever the case, he left his family behind.

Two Hebrew words are of interest here: the words translated as “went down” and “turned aside.” “Went down” can be interpreted physically and geographically as the town we learn of where Judah is at a lower elevation level than where the family was currently staying. However, the literary sense of the word can indicate the moral trajectory of the person as “going down.” You see this in the book of Jonah who is going “down…down…down” all the way to the depths of death. Also, the idea of being “turned aside” means that one is no longer walking along a particular path. Later in the Bible, the people of Israel are “turned aside” to idolatry. Solomon’s heart was “turned aside” by many women, etc…Judah is turned aside to a new friendship it seems: Hirah the Adullamite. He is turned aside to Canaanite women.

We don’t know much about Hirah. We do know that he was a Canaanite as Adullam was part of Canaanite territories. In Adullam, Judah does not waste any time getting started with the rest of his life apart from his family. “There Judah saw the daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua. He took her and went in to her, and she conceived and bore a son, and he called his name Er” (vv.2-3). The combination of the verbs “saw…took…went in to…” usually denote a connection with lustful passions rather than something romantic which usually is behind more modern marriages. You might recall that Eve “saw…and took” the forbidden fruit in Genesis 3:6. In Genesis 6:2, the “sons of God saw…and took” for wives the attractive women. David “saw” Bathsheba and then sent men to get her and then sent men who “took” her for him so he could “lay” with her. Judah is mixing into the faith and practices of the surrounding idolatrous nations. Judah is mingling the family bloodline! This will not be without consequences as we will see.

Judah has children: “and she conceived again and bore a son, and she called his name Onan. Yet again she bore a son, and she called his name Shelah. Judah was in Chezib when she bore him. And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, and her name was Tamar.” Judah seems to be doing well looking out for his family. He is providing for his firstborn, who would inherit the majority of the inheritance, a wife with the hopes of the continual upbuilding of the tribe of Judah and all Israel with it. But looking out for the physical wellbeing of one’s children is not enough. “But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and the LORD put him to death” (v7).

A quick application is in order here: parents, it is not enough to provide your children all that they need to have a “successful” life and provide you the grandchildren that you want. It is not enough to make sure that they have “the best” things you can provide, be it food, education, opportunities, etc… if you do not provide them the necessary tools in life of how to be pleasing to Yahweh! “Er…was wicked in the sight of the LORD…” Parenting is a high calling from God according to Ephesians 6:1-4. In Malachi, the topics of divorce and parenting come together as God rebukes his people for their high divorce rates. The prophet expresses that the LORD was seeking “godly offspring” from marriages among his people. Instead, divorce brings violence to the relationship in many dimensions including emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.

Judah loses his firstborn son. We are not sure how exactly Er was put to death by the Lord. Enduring the loss of a child is hard for anyone. We don’t know if Judah knew that God himself had put Er to death. The reader knows, the omniscient third-person narrator knows, but we are not sure how much Judah knows at this point about the cause of death. It does not seem like he suspects God at this point as later, he will suspect that Tamar is the one somehow responsible. However, if we recall the context of this story, Jacob has also lost a son. Judah and Jacob’s lives now have something in common: they both share the loss of a son. While Joseph was not the “firstborn” of Jacob, he was the “firstborn” of Rachel, Jacob’s favorite wife. He was also given the “robe of many colors” which, as some commentators point out, was a designation of Joseph as the favored son, making him the functional “firstborn.” The author mentions that Er is Judah’s “firstborn” for us twice because we are meant to start making some connections between this story and the narrative that preceded it. Keep that in mind as we move forward.

“Then Judah said to Onan, ‘Go into your brother’s wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.” Now before everyone freaks out, this was an ancient practice known as levirate marriage, in which a brother was obligated to marry his brother’s widow to continue the bloodline as well as inheritances. It was regulated by God’s law in Deut. 25:5-10, but never commanded by Him. According to custom this was given as a provision “for the redemption of family property, the life of the relative and a man’s name” through his descendants. In terms of land, it seems that marrying a widow from outside the family would mean that the land could be transferred to the family of the new husband. Rather than losing land to another clan or tribe, the inheritance was perpetuated within the family lineage.

In the case of the inheritance of the people of Israel, these were given great and precious promises by God including land. Such an inheritance was not to go outside of Israel as it was not even Israel’s to give away, but God’s. No others had the right to the promises. This is one reason why intermarriage with Canaanites was especially egregious. It gave away the blessings of God. The responsibility would fall on Onan, to perpetuate the name and inheritance of his deceased brother. “Then Judah said to Onan, ‘Go into your brother’s wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother” (v8).

Keep in mind the purpose this story serves within the Genesis narrative: the upbuilding and preservation of the lineage of Abraham through the family of Israel. For all practical purposes, Israel has already lost one son in Joseph and now stands to lose Judah because of his own life choices and the lifestyles of his sons. The reader following the narrative should wonder who the blessing will go to. Judah is not looking likely right now. The question the reader should be asking is how the promises of God will be fulfilled to the lineage of Jacob as his sons and their line appear to be disappearing before him. In a sense, the burden now falls upon Onan to preserve the lineage of Judah by preserving the bloodline of his brother Er. And here is where our story really begins to take a turn for the worse. As is sometimes heard on television, “viewers discretion is advised” from this point forward!

“But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he went in to his brother’s wife he would waste the semen on the ground, so as not to give offspring to his brother” (v9). Things get weird here because we do not practice levirate marriage customs. The closest we get to this is something like surrogate parenting – which is a whole other bag of worms! With Er out of the picture, Onan perhaps seemed to stand to gain a much larger inheritance for his own family. Instead of splitting three ways, the inheritance was now poised to be split between Onan and his little brother Shelah. Onan is trying to wipe out his brother eternally by not perpetuating his inheritance. Not willing to “share” and give away inheritance to a child that would not legally be counted as his own, he engages in a kind of contraceptive and essentially turns Tamar into a mere slave to satisfy his own desires.

Onan’s sin – is not sexual in nature primarily, as some readers and commentators have been prone to suggest. His sin is selfishness in not wanting to fulfill the duties as a brother to his brother nor to perpetuate the people of Israel. He has no faith in the promised seed to come so he spills his seed!

What this text does tell us about sin is that sex can be used to satisfy non-sexual lusts for maintaining status or other selfish ends. In other words, sex can be a “surface sin” that has deeper motives. Selfishness can be a sin that uses God’s gift of sex. Onan gives a sense of trying to fulfill his duties but in the end, but he does not love his brother enough to want to see his lineage perpetuated and is willing to take more of his dead brother’s inheritance for himself at the expense of Tamar. “The Hebrew emphasizes that Onan did this on every occasion of intercourse, not just once or twice.”[1] The conjunction is translated as “whenever” or “as often as.” We do not know how many times she was subjected to him.

Now, most male readers of the Bible miss the psychological and emotional abuse that Tamar is probably experiencing here. With her husband dead, she is being pawned and pimped by her father-in-law and her brother-in-law. She is not given her rightful dignity in this whole situation.[2] Tamar is basically “tolerated” in the household and nobody really wants to have anything to do with her as a widow. She is just an empty body to be used.

“And what he did was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and he put him to death also.” Selfishness is wickedness. Onan answers Cain’s question about being his brother’s keeper in the negative. Two of Judah’s sons are now dead and they both have Tamar in common. Judah engages in an ad hoc, ergo propter hoc (“after this, therefore because of this”) fallacy. He thinks that relations with Tamar are somehow responsible for the apparently unexplained death of his own sons. John Calvin comments that Judah, “without considering the causes of the death of his sons, he falsely and unjustly transfers the blame to an innocent woman.[3]”

Assuming that she is responsible for the death of his sons, we read in verse 11: “Then Judah said to Tamar his daughter-in-law, ‘Remain a widow in your father’s house, [he does not want her anywhere near him or his only son] till Shelah my son grows up’ – for he feared that he would die like his brothers.” As a custom, Judah could have let Tamar be free to marry someone else from another family. He would have lost a little face, but Tamar would have been treated with some dignity. Instead, he tells her to basically go live with her father until his youngest son is able to marry her. She is “stuck” under the levirate marriage laws. Judah seems to be unsure of what to do with Tamar. He has to uphold the laws of his day but he also is trying to work around them by hiding his own motives. We know that Judah’s motive is fear. Tamar, an innocent party, is being used by all of these men around her. Judah is a selfish scumbag here! He is looking out for himself and his own bloodline, at the cost of the dignity and life of Tamar. See how we are blind to our own sin sometimes? We don’t see how they affect others especially. Tamar is a functional concubine who has been discarded and left to rot in the harem!

Our hearts should break for Tamar at this point. She is the innocent party. Her husband has been declared as wicked. Her brother-in-law has been declared as wicked. Judah has no intention of fulfilling his word because he is scared of losing his last child thinking that it must be Tamar’s fault. Blame is assigned to her. A life alone is assigned to her.

In an age of #MeToo, this story probably resonates with many women and may even be used as “evidence” of the misogyny that is being taught in the Bible. However, as the story goes on, we will see that God recognizes and acknowledges the sin that these men have committed against Tamar and against God with how they treated her. In a larger picture, God will call into question the way that we all treat each other – male or female. People are not to be discarded at will. Judah should not have sold his brother into slavery. God will use Judah’s dealings with Tamar, and Tamar herself, to confront how he treated his brother and his father for lying to him. Moreover, we will see that God sides with Tamar as the story goes on. The point being, the Bible condemns the mistreatment of women by men as much as it condemns the mistreatment of men by men. This is Judah’s messed up life and family.

Judah’s Messed up Daughter-in-law

Time goes on. Fun fact: the total course of time of this story is roughly twenty years and we are getting it all in one chapter. “In the course of time the wife of Judah, Shua’s daughter, died. When Judah was comforted, he went up to Timnah to his sheepshearers, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite.” Judah’s wife dies so we should not expect more children. Judah finds some form of comfort, but we are meant to contrast his comfort with Israel his father, who “refused to be comforted” at the news of the death of his son Joseph in 37:35. Judah has lost two children and his wife but finds comfort. Israel loses one son and refuses to be comforted. According to verse 14, Tamar is still wearing her widow’s garments and mourning the loss of her husband. For all practical appearances, Judah seems like he is doing fine. Judah is “moving on” in life. But he should not be.

We should never think that “comfort” is a sign of God’s pleasure over us. Judah’s comfort is not because he is living righteously. It is a false comfort of shaking off various obligations. Being unmarried, he is now going to be open to sexual promiscuity.

Judah went up to the city of Timnah for a sheepshearing festival. This was not a livestock show or some sort of Future Farmers of Canaan event. Sheepshearing festivals were known to be pretty wild parties at times. They were religious festivals that praised the gods for fertility, and the presence of cult prostitutes would not have been uncommon during such festivals. Judah is a bachelor again and we see him reunited with his friend Hirah again, perhaps doing what he did before he got married.

The phrase, “in the course of time” is meant to tell us that enough time has passed for Shelah to be of marriageable age. Enough time has passed to reveal that Judah has no intention of fulfilling his duty to Tamar. In verse 14, Tamar is said to have discerned Judah’s intentions since Shelah was now marriable and she had not been given in marriage to him yet.” Down to just one son whom he does not seem interested in marrying off to Tamar, the end of his line is at hand and he does not care. Another tribe of the sons of Israel is about to snuffed out, and Judah is “comforted.” Judah is blind to the danger he is in concerning God’s promises to Israel. Judah could care less for his lineage as long as his own life is taken care of.

Tamar now becomes active. The way she has been treated has messed her up too. Up to now, Tamar has been a passive actor in the story and under the rule of men who have not treated her well. Something in her has come alive when she hears that Judah’ is going to the sheep-shearing party. Suddenly she is doing all the actions. She is “taking off” her widow’s garments; she is “covering herself,” “wrapping herself,” choosing where she will sit (v 14). She is now in charge.

Feminism? Well no…she is actually doing this not only for herself, but for Judah and all Israel. Judah does not care about the perpetuation of his seed as much as Tamar does. Tamar is more concerned for Judah’s own lineage than Judah is at the moment!

In verse 15, Judah sees Tamar but he does not recognize her. The text does not tell us that he was drunk or even what time of the day it was so that Judah can claim an excuse. He sees her veiled and assumes that she must be a prostitute by the way that she is dressed or, as some commentators have suggested, by her location on the road (cf. Jer. 3:2; Ezek. 16:25) or both of these circumstances. According to one Bible background commentary,

“The Canaanite culture utilized cult prostitution as a way of promoting fertility. Devotees of the mother goddess Ishtar or Anat would reside at or near shrines and would dress in a veil, as the symbolic bride of the god Baal or El. Men would visit the shrine and use the services of the cult prostitutes prior to planting their fields or during other important seasons such as shearing or the period of lambing. In this way they gave honor to the gods and reenacted the divine marriage in an attempt to insure fertility and prosperity for their fields and herds.”[5]

So Judah begins to bargain with Tamar concealed behind the veil. He initiates the encounter – and not in a romantic way! “Come, let me come in to you…” The Bible does not sugar-coat, at all, the poor character of Judah. His sin is on full display for all to see here! The one whose name means “Praise” is attempting to praise the wrong gods! The text attributes some ignorance to Judah in that it says “he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law.” Calvin notes what an idiot Judah is to not at least recognize her voice! Whatever the reasons for his ignorance, we should rightly assume that they are rooted in his sin. The Bible is not giving Judah an excuse, but revealing his blindness in his sin.

Tamar is not there for money. She has business of her own as she enters into the bargaining phase. “What will you give me, that you may come in to me?” Having probably already sacrificed his animal and headed home empty handed when this opportunity arose, he had nothing on him except his signet, cord and his staff. He has nothing but this woman is willing to sleep with him if he can just strike a deal. So he asks her, essentially, if she will take an ”I-O-U.” “I will send you a young goat from the flock.”

He essentially asks to take something based on trust that he is a man of his word. Judah’s impulsiveness is on full display as well. He is desperate for a deal. Tamar knows better than that, however! She knows that Judah is not a man of his word. He has already lied to his father about his brother Joseph and has hidden that lie for decades already. He has already pledged to give his youngest son to Tamar in marriage when he was of-age and he has not fulfilled his word. Judah is a lying scumbag!

Seeming to accept his offer, she wants something as a guarantee that he will fulfill his end of the bargain. So she asks for some of his most intimate items that related to his personal identity at that time. “If you give me a pledge, until you send it…” Basically, she is saying, “OK, sure…a young goat. But what will you give me until I get that payment?” Judah’s impulsiveness does not care at the moment. He has an opportunity before him and no price is too big. As one movie line said, “Selling sin is easy.” In the moment, it promises pleasure and it’s exciting sometimes, especially sexual sin, but the long-term effects of it remain hidden. Judah has no idea what he is in for and what exactly the true price for sin will be. None of us ever do. But God knows and he always warns us beforehand that sin has consequences.

Tamar asks for his “signet…cord…and staff.” What is the significance of these? These are very personal items and what they signify is Judah’s identity and authority. He is willing to pledge those – without hesitation – as a pledge to pay the debt of a young goat. It would be like me giving away my ID, my social security number and a signature facsimile to someone to hold while I go get $5 out of my piggy bank at home to pay off a hamburger! It makes no sense, but sin doesn’t make sense either.

Without hesitation in the narrative we read, “so he gave them to her and went in to her, and she conceived by him.” Everything happened so fast! “Can I sleep with you?” “What will you give to sleep with me?” “A young goat?” “OK! But I need a pledge…” “No problem!” Wham! Bam! Thank you, ma’am! Baby on the way. Verse 19 ends the ordeal saying, “Then she arose and went away, and taking off her veil she put on the garments of her widowhood.” She is in complete control of her situation.

Now to be clear, this is a messed up thing that Tamar has done. It’s not normal. And the Bible is not endorsing this behavior, it is simply reporting it.

They are not what we might call a “godly means” of seeking restoration or reconciliation. Tamar was living under abusive circumstances and was under the care of men in a patriarchal culture. Her circumstances, at this point, are the result of the sins of men, her husbands’ and her father-in-law. Er is wicked and put to death. Onan sins by not wanting to fulfill his duties of levirate marriage. Judah has been sinning by withholding from her his last son who is Tamar’s by right.

As a woman in such a culture, she probably did not stand a chance in the courts. She could not accuse Judah of withholding Shelah when he could simply argue that he was waiting for the right age and the law would probably side with him. As the narrative goes, there is no negative judgment made toward Tamar. She did what she had to do to get justice. Tamar’s obligations to her husband and family lineage weigh so heavily on her that she is driven to an abusive situation and comes up with a scheme to preserve the lineage of Judah. She decides that Judah will serve as the one who will preserve the family through her. Judah will live up to his obligations one way or another. Again, this is a messed up situation!

The Transformation of Judah as he recognizes sin and repents

Judah’s troubles are just beginning. He sends the payment of the young goat with his friend, the Adullamite but he does not find anybody who fits the identity of a “cult prostitute” in the area of Enaim. Nobody knows what he is talking about. He reports back to Judah, as we see in verse 22 that he could not find her and know one knew who he was talking about. In an attempt to save face, something psychologist have called “image management,” Judah says, “Let her keep the things as her own, or we shall be laughed at.” That is, Judah is not willing to pursue the matter further because it would harm his reputation that he – a son of Israel and probably a pillar of his community – had been bamboozled by a cult prostitute. He is willing to drop the matter in order to manage how people might see him. Think about it: he was willing to keep his word to pay his pledge to protect his identity but he was not willing to keep his word to protect Tamar, or worse, to perpetuate the children of Israel. He also was not willing to go himself to be seen publicly searching for a cult prostitute, but sends his friend instead. He does not want to mar his reputation! Now he is willing to drop the matter so that he does not appear to be outwitted by a simple prostitute. Judah does not want to be a “joke”, the laughing stock of the town.

Time passes by and Judah receives some good news: “Tamar your daughter-in-law has been immoral. Moreover, she is pregnant by immorality.” The Hebrew word that the ESV translates “immorality” in its noun form, means prostitution. In the verbal form it covers a wide range of sexual immorality. And now, big-bad-self-righteous-Father-in-law decides to “do the right thing” after hearing such news committed against his family name. “Bring her out, and let her be burned.” In Leviticus 21:9, the penalty of the daughter of a priest who profanes herself by whoring profanes her father and is to be burned with fire. This law was later revealed, but the gravity of the penalty that Judah is requiring does tell us something about Judah’s perception of himself. He considered himself worthy of such honor that her sin is a huge blemish on him that she deserves such a penalty as if she has offended a high religious leader. According to Deuteronomic law, a betrothed woman who has had intercourse with another man during her betrothal period deserves capital punishment. Tamar is technically betrothed to Shelah at the time of all of this. Judah goes for the fullest penalty of the law.

The irony of what is going on is that now Judah wants to “do the right thing.” He now wants to act like an Israelite. Now he is ready to defend the honor of his family and his son Shelah from the disgrace of sexual immorality. This conversation is taking place over the “social media” of the day through a “messenger app” who is running back and forth delivering these messages to the households. As the messenger of Judah is summoning Tamar to her public execution, she replies back with a devastating and embarrassing message: “By the man to whom these belong, I am pregnant.” Judah has not seen them, but when he does, his transformation is about to begin…

Her next words are actually haunting for Judah. She says, “Please identify whose these are, the signet and the cord and the staff.” The words should take the careful reader back to Genesis 37:32 in which Judah and his brothers told their father, “…please identify whether it is your son’s robe or not.” Jacob had to identify Joseph’s article of clothing that uniquely identified Joseph and now Judah has to identify his own articles that uniquely identify himself. Notice that she did not make a direct charge at Judah. Judah has to draw his own conclusion that he is the man by whom his daughter-in-law is pregnant by. He has to recognize the fact that he is the one who has brought shame upon himself and his own family, especially his sons. Judah has also been immoral and deserves the punishment that he has declared for Tamar!

Tamar’s charge is not made directly as she waits for the identification of the owner of the items to present himself. Judah has been found out! He recognizes every single item as his own as his conscience pricks him. It’s quite possible that others recognized them as his as well. Needless to say, he is exposed before Tamar and before God, more importantly.

Our sin is like this. Many of us can think of times where somebody has told us directly that we are wrong about something but we refuse to believe them. We dismiss them and their claims rather easily in our self-righteousness. Judah has been making excuses for his behavior and treatment of Tamar (fear), but now when he is “looking in the mirror” and seeing that what he thought she was is really what he is has humbled him and awakened him to his own sinfulness, his unrighteous treatment of Tamar, and probably his own sinful dealings with his father, Israel, and his brother Joseph.

Judah has no excuses. Verse 26 says, “Then Judah identified them and said, ‘She is more righteous than I, since I did not give my son Shelah.’ And he did not know her again.”

Something to note here is that Judah confesses his sin and his wrongdoing toward Tamar. This is evidence of Judah’s transformation: Confession. Judah agrees that he has been in the wrong. The same goes for us. When we confess our sins, not only to God, but to those whom we sin against, we make room for the transforming grace of God. Notice that she did not even mention anything about Shelah. He immediately made that connection with her actions

How hard it is to confess our sin when we are caught in it! We make excuses. We blameshift. We gaslight others and we gaslight ourselves. One of the differences between people who receive grace from God and those who do not is the willingness to confess. Judah’s actions have happened both privately and publicly and he is caught in his sin publicly and so his acknowledgment of his wrongdoing is public. He knows that in acknowledging the items that Tamar is holding as his, he is admitting to hiring a temple prostitute and to impregnating his own daughter-in-law. One of the marks of a good confession is one that does not blameshift. It is one that does not have an embedded excuse in it. We’ve heard those kinds and we’ve used those kinds. They sound like this:

“I’m sorry you had to see me like that. I’m normally not like that. Next time I will do better.”

“Look, it was just one time. What's say we let this one slide this time.”

We can multiply examples of what fake and manipulative confessions and false repentance sounds like. True confession and repentance is what brings about gospel transformation. In an article contributed to The Gospel Coalition in 2019, author Jennifer Greenburg[7] lists eight signs of true repentance that are worth mentioning (thought detailing is another lesson). She says that eight signs of true repentance include:

1) A repentant person is appalled by sin (not just the consequences; Isa. 6:5)

2) A repentant person makes amends (what some might call reparations; they seek to restore shalom/wholeness that their sin disrupted in the life of others; eg. Luke 19:1-10)

3) A repentant person accepts the consequences (like the thief on the cross in Luke 23:40-43; i.e. he did not use a confession to escape consequence!)

4) A repentant person does not expect or demand forgiveness (because they know they do not deserve and are not trying to manipulate for it! Some people love to confess all sorts of things they do wrong because they expect you to forgive them)

5) A repentant person feels the depths of the damage they have caused (perhaps this is why some do not repent; because they never sympathize with those they sin against! Shallow confessions are sure to follow those who have no sympathy because they are not convinced they have “harmed” anybody; in a day and age when we understand so much more about the effects of trauma, especially from abuse, those with no sympathy will find it impossible to repent)

6) A repentant person changes their behavior. This is not to say they are simply engaging in behavioral management and not addressing the heart. Rather, the steps above have addressed the heart and the product is changed behavior. They do not want to sin against God. They do not want to hurt others.

7) A repentant person gives space to heal. People who harm others cannot demand trust. The Bible addresses forgiveness within interpersonal relationship but it does not address trust restoration. Rather, it gives room for the natural we give and earn trust with demonstration over time. This could be called a reputation.

8) A repentant person is awestruck by forgiveness. As a person plumbs the depth of the sin of their own heart and what they are capable of and what they have already done, the grace of forgiveness hits differently. This is one of the points that Jesus was getting across to the Pharisees who rebuked Jesus for letting a prostitute wash his feet. He told them that the one who is “forgiven little, loves little” in response to the forgiveness. But the one who is forgiven much loves much.

The fact that the text says that Judah did not “know her again” means that Judah was a changed man. Some commentators begin to scrutinize Judah here, especially how he hid his own guilt about his treatment toward Tamar, but when the tables were turned, he wanted nothing but forgiveness. This happens sometimes. Sin and its consequences can be used by God to awaken sinners out of their sinful sleep and the dangers that await them. Praise God for that. However, Judah is definitely a transformed person.

“When the time of her labor came, there were twins in her womb. And she was in labor, one put out a hand, and the midwife took and tied a scarlet thread on this hand saying, ‘This one came out first,’ But as he drew back his hand, his brother came out. And she said, ‘What a breach you have made for yourself!’ Therefore his hame was called Perez. Afterward his brother came out with the scarlet thread on his hand, and his name was called Zerah.” (27-30)

This whole situation has been pretty messed up but God’s grace is for messed up people. Now, the Bible is not telling us to get ourselves in messed up situation so that God’s grace can come flooding in. No. It is telling us that the more we try to do thing on our own, the more messed up places we take ourselves into and become. It is also telling us that God’s grace is able to reach in and transform messed up into people who learn to do what is good and right.

Judah stopped being abusive toward Tamar. Judah changed his behavior toward her. Remember that this story is placed in the middle of the story of Joseph. When Joseph’s brothers, including Judah, go to Egypt for food, Joseph tells them that they cannot have grain again unless they bring Israel’s youngest son, Benjamin. Israel is not willing to send his youngest. Reuben, the oldest, offers to pledge his own sons to death to guarantee the safety of Benjamin so they can get food. Judah,however, is a changed man and is not willing to sacrifice the bloodline like Reuben. Instead, Judah will offer himself as a pledge of safety. He will be willing to give his own life to ensure the safety of the lineage of Israel. Jacob agrees and Judah pledges himself in the place of Benjamin before Joseph and this helps to convince Joseph that his brothers have indeed changed and he reveals himself to them for reconciliation.

Centuries later, one of Judah’s descendants, through the lineage of Perez. His name is Jesus, the Lion of the tribe of Judah. He pledged his own life to death to guarantee the safety of the family of God to bring transform them into a greater and better Judah. Jesus did not “turn aside” from his mission. Jesus exposed the sins of others and offered them the grace of transformation in the gospel of the kingdom. Jesus also exposed himself to the sins of others as he was allowed to be crucified. On the cross, Jesus was exposed to a messed up situation of injustice and fear and jealousy and rage from the rulers of the Jews. More than that, he was exposed to the wrath of God for all the sins of all his people. He who knew no sin became sin so that might become the righteousness of God in him (2 Cor. 5:21). Don’t you see it? Jesus went to the cross, not just to forgive you, but to transform you from something messed up into something beautiful!

Crossing, the kingdom of God is both here and coming. The world is not always going to be like it is now with messed up people and messed up situations. War will not always exist. Strife and enmity will not always exist.

When God uses people to expose your sin, it is not because he is trying to destroy you. It is because he is wanting to transform you into the kind of person who will belong to that now and coming kingdom. It is when God leaves us alone in our sin that we need to worry and yet won’t worry.

I don’t know what your personal lives are all like. But surely there are people in our lives whom God designs and ordains to help us see the sins that we can’t. These are husbands, wives, kids, friends, colleagues, sometimes strangers. God will use whatever circumstances - even messed up one - to cause us to see the need to confess and repent. Some of these are not pretty, but God’s relentless pursuit of his children is real. Judah’s transformation was at least twenty-two years in the making, so be patient with yourself and others, but not inactive. Confess sin. I know we confess sin in our liturgy every sunday, but there are some sins that we commit that we need to confess to ones we have been harming. Don’t use Sunday liturgy as an excuse for sin against others. Judah was exposed in his sin but met with the grace of God. That is how you know you have a culture of grace. When sin is exposed, how does the community respond? Are people afraid of confession? Then the perception of value of the culture is hiding sin rather than exposing it to confess and repent without which transforming grace is impossible. Confession and repentance are the God-ordained means of transformation and does not grant it without them. God has grace for messed up people!

Judah was a messed up person whose own sin messed up his children and daughter-in-law and almost messed up the tribe of Israel. But his own sin was confronted and he confessed and repented. May we do the same when God confronts us in our sin. Amen.