What Others See in Me

Have you ever gone to a restaurant wanting authentic Mexican, or authentic Thai or maybe even authentic Ethiopian food. When you get a table and look at the menu and find out it is owned by a guy named Patrick O’Malley. When Gail and I have traveled, we know that the further we get away from Texas, the less we can trust a Tex-Mex restaurant. Somewhere in Michigan there is Bob’s authentic Tex-Mex and we’re thinking … ehhh, I don’t know. Authentically Transparent, being genuine and open about who you are, the good and the bad.

We are in our series on the values that undergird our mission of becoming whole people who take the whole gospel to the whole world. Our values flow out of who we are as people of faith in the kingdom of heaven. Our core missional values spell the word … GREAT.

John 14:12 Jesus says …

… whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and GREATer works than these will he do. (GREAT caps are added by me) John 14:12

Our theme this year has been Greater Things! Believing that God is preparing you and I for and calling us to greater things. To live lives that are about Jesus and His Kingdom! What we value gets reflected in our lives. Values are important. They inform our thoughts, words, and actions. They are important because they help us grow and develop. They help us to create the future we believe God is calling us to.

They serve as guiding principles that influence our behavior, decisions, and interactions with others. Values help us navigate life's complexities, make ethical decisions, and find meaning and purpose in our actions and relationships with God and others.

So far we looked at G – Gospel Centered we defined the Gospel of Jesus Christ as the good news that sinful people can be made right with God by repenting of their sin and calling upon Jesus as Savior and Lord. So, to be gospel-centered is to have Jesus at the center of our lives leading us and motivating us in this life.

and R – Relentlessly Relational… where we attended relational hotspots to work on being more like God in our relationships, because God’s very nature is trinitarian and there is relationship between Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

And E – Externally Focused! The why, the what and the how of living beyond our walls. Last Sunday we did Serve Fest where some 400 of you descended upon 34 projects making a difference throughout the community. What an awesome Sunday it was.

The morning we are looking at the

A – Authentically Transparent.

Let’s define some terms, first authenticity.

Slide Authentic – genuine, real and true.

Slide Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are. Brene Brown

That’s a great definition but I think it still falls short, because it leaves you and I with the question, who am I, supposed to be, really? We can easily present a false version of ourselves because we are not sure who we are, so we try to be who we think we are supposed to be. Authenticity for a believer is not just doing you! To be transparent means …

Slide Transparent – to see through, clear, allowing light to pass showing what is behind or within.

It basically just means you can see through it.

One of the definitions or ways to describe the word intimacy is … Into me you see. Intimacy is about known. A scary word for some but it simply means … It’s about giving others a look into your life. Not hiding the good or the bad.

Here at The Fellowship we experience the kind of relationships where we can know and be known by others. Without judgement or shame, condemnation or exclusion. The value of Authentically Transparent, is lived out in the context of relationships and community.

Why do we not live Authentically Transparent lives? Because living Authentically and Transparently can be scary and risky.

While Authentically Transparent lives will lead to healthier relationships and personal growth in your relationship with God and others, there are situations where it can pose challenges, and these are where the enemy loves to create fear.

· There is always the chance that someone will judge me or maybe even reject me – you and may feel exposed or vulnerable.

· We may experience conflict and disagreement when values and beliefs differ from those of others. I am an approval addict and I know that it is wrong to lie and yet that is what I would do because I didn’t want the disappointment of others.

· There can be a Personal Emotional toll, as well when we bring up difficult emotions, especially when you confront aspects of yourself or past experiences that are painful or challenging.

· There can be the Loss of Privacy sharing details of our lives may make you feel exposed or uncomfortable, and it may not always be practical or safe.

· There can be the Perception of Weakness - In certain environments, being open about vulnerabilities or struggles might be perceived as a weakness rather than a strength.This perception can affect your professional and personal life.

Because of the challenges we may say to ourselves, I am not going to let others know the truth about my struggles, my pain, my joys, I am going to live a private life, especially where there is relationship risks. The truth is that this is part of what is called the False Self.

Slide The False Self or the first self is a part of our formation as children. It is the way we believed we needed to be in order to be safe, secure, loved, accepted, appreciated, by those in authority over us, such as parents, teachers, coaches, etc.

We all have a false self, the smile that hides the pain, the yes that hides the no, the beautiful family pictures that hide the problems. Not everything in your false self is negative. There are many things that are good like a good work ethic, or maybe you learned to be kind, generous, etc. But the truth is in the motivation. We can be and do good things for the wrong reasons.

Living out of this first self or false self, is that part of us that lives believing the lies the enemy continues to tell us, you can’t let people know, you can’t let them see you sweat, you have to be in charge, you have to have provide, you have to look good, men don’t cry, you can’t be weak …

The Bible tells us that we are new creations in Christ … the old is gone … the new has come and yet the old way of living doesn’t want to die so easily …

This false or old way of living creates a myriad of pitfalls … There is the

Slide The endless cycle of comparison! Facebook is a never ending journey of comparison. Look at the smiles, the celebrations, the vacations, creating a steady stream of comparison. My life isn’t that good, or I need to post all my beautiful pictures. It is hard to celebrate when we are comparing. It is impossible to be content when we are comparing.

There is all the …

Slide The temptation to compromise in the face of pressure! We don’t want to be rejected, we don’t want another fight or argument, we can just go along with others, go with the flow, or we want the approval of others.

Slide Letting the other’s expectations determine your decisions and direction! – what do others expect of me and need from me. If I want to be loved, respected, appreciated then I must give up my convictions or at best just not live into them for the sake of the approval of others … I am an approval addict and I know that it is wrong to lie and yet that is what I would do because I didn’t want the disappointment of others. Then there’s managing …

Slide Managing your image in order to look better than you really are!

No one likes to look bad, but when we understand God’s grace, forgiveness, mercy we understand and are drawn to

Slide Being dishonest and lying in order to avoid the judgement of others!

Lying will always be found out. It may not be today or tomorrow, but it will be some day. Also, lying is EXHAUSTING. You have to remember what lies you told to which people and then make sure that those people don’t talk to other people and it’s just a really mentally exhausting battle for no reason whatsoever.

Slide Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Ephesians 4:25

Slide Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Colossians 3:9–10

Slide You are only as sick as your secrets!

Authentically Transparent refers to being true to the Godly character, values, beliefs, and identity we have in Christ. It involves being genuine and not pretending to be someone or something you're not. And that’s good. In Luke 8:16, Jesus says ….

Slide No one after lighting a lamp covers it with a jar or puts it under a bed, but puts it on a stand, so that those who enter may see the light. For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. Luke 8:16–17

Disclaimer- Just because you don’t share something about yourself doesn’t mean that you’re not authentic, because transparency is deciding HOW MUCHof that authenticity to share. Everything doesn’t need to be known by everyone. But Someone should know everything so that there are no secrets for the enemy to use against you!

authentic – true to one’s own personality, spirit, and character in Christ — this is the WHAT - transparent – honest and open: not secretive — this is HOW MUCH.

Draw the circles on the board – public, private and secret.

We are called to live Authentically Transparent lives, as followers of Jesus. Here’s the truth …

Slide Others are drawn to you when you are Authentically Transparent.! – you might think it repels when in reality it attracts.

Slide An Authentically Transparent follower of Jesus, behaves and communicates in a way that aligns with their true self that is in Christ.

Authentically Transparent followers of Jesus are trustworthy because they are consistent in their words and actions.

Authenticity is a big deal to Jesus. In Luke 12, Jesus said says to the disciples … Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed or hidden that will not be known. Therefore, whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops. But listen to it in the Message translation …

Slide You can’t keep your true self hidden forever; before long you’ll be exposed. You can’t hide behind a religious mask forever; sooner or later the mask will slip and your true face will be known. You can’t whisper one thing in private and preach the opposite in public; the day’s coming when those whispers will be repeated all over town. Luke 12:2–3 The Message

Slide It is not about perfection!

Christianity is not about perfection. Rather, it is about engaging in an honest process of becoming more like Jesus Christ. Authentically Transparent Christians don’t pretend they are perfect. That they have it all together. That they don’t mess up. Rather, they are quick to admit faults, mistakes, sin and get back in step with Christ. They understand the grace of God and are quick to give His grace to others. An Authentically Transparent follower of Jesus is one who sincerely strives to be the real deal, sharing their life with others in community, saying, into me you see!

And though it is not about perfection, it is about progress!

Slide It is about progress!

Progress that begins with inviting God to show you what He sees in you. Perhaps we should regularly adopt and reiterate the King David’s prayer in Psalm 139:23-24

Slide Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting! Psalm 139:23–24

When God looks at us … He looks at our heart not our appearance! He sees us as we are.

Slide But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

As a Christ-follower, I need to ask myself, "Am I the real deal? Am I living a life worthy of imitation?" Which begs the question …

Slide Are you a finished product or a work in progress?

Are you always managing your image or are you living in the reality of being formed into the image of Jesus! Paul understands this because he writes to the church at Philippi …

Slide Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12–14

Warren Wiersbe writes in Be Authentic …

Slide God is looking for authentic people who will dare to have firsthand spiritual experiences in life and not settle for the secondhand imitations that are promised if you listen to the right cassettes, watch the right videos, and attend the right meetings. Warren Wiersbe, Be Authentic

Choosing to live an Authentically Transparent Life

Begins with choosing Jesus and putting him at the center of your life.

You might say …

Slide Center your life on Jesus not Me-sus!

For true authentic transparency to work, people need to see me when I don’t have it all together; when I fall apart and when I struggle. They need to see the transforming nature of Christ to taste the fruit. Paul writes …

Slide But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. 2 Corinthians 4:7–10

Slide Stop acting like you have it all together.

In his book, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, Tim Keller writes,

Slide Spiritual pride is the illusion that we are competent to run our own lives, achieve our own sense of self-worth, and find a purpose big enough to give us meaning in life without God. Tim Keller, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness

Proverbs says …

Slide Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Proverbs 28:13

Slide Give yourself to a life of humility, not pride.

Humility is an important sign of authenticity. It appears in the desire to be corrected. Listening in order to me changed, to be corrected, instructed, to grow, learn and more. Not some superficial polite listening.

Slide The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:7

Slide Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Psalm 51:6

The purpose of our lives is that, as Christ transforms us, people will not be drawn to us but to Christ.

Slide Stop making it about you, and start making it about Jesus in you, your hope of glory.

Slide But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Philippians 3:7–11

King David wrote in Psalm 51 …

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Psalm 51:1–4

So what can you do this morning, right now …

· Stop hiding.

· Speak the truth about your life.

· Ask for a changed heart.

· Commit to living an Authentically Transparent life.

We going to sing this song and I invite you to first, say to God I want honesty in our relationship. Secondly, maybe there is something you need prayer for this morning, maybe it is to put Christ at the center of your life, praying for a changed heart, or for the power to love God and others, or maybe it is for Christ to give you a heart that will not hide. During this song, I invite you to come and be prayed for. This is an opportunity to press into this value, Authentically Transparent, not caring what others think, what story people will make up, whether you will be judged … it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we walk in the light that we live a life that is honest, truthful … authentically transparent. This song says …

Sing the song Honesty …

You don’t ask for perfection, So I won’t even bother pretending.

I’ve been known from the start, Holding secrets is heavy,

So I’ll tell You them all Lord I’m ready, Here’s my heart opened up

You’re the One I won’t question, When my mind runs a million directions, You’re the friend I can trust, Here I am Lord surrendered

With my hands lifted high I'll remember, That I'm safe with You God

And there's no fear in Your love

Chorus

Honesty You want honesty, Not just part of me You want everything

So all of me I’ll bring You all of me, No more hide and seek Jesus I’m coming clean

There is nothing in between, You and me … holy are You. Purify and make me clean, Until all of me is holy like You.

Pray …

Stand and sing