Keys to Effective Prayer

Do you ever find it difficult to pray? Don’t you wish that coming to faith in Christ would come with an automatic download of how to pray effectively? Have you ever felt like praying was a waste of time? Have you ever been asked to pray and didn’t know what to say? Have you ever looked at someone else’s prayer life and thought, “I’ll never be able to pray like that?”

Years ago, I saw a Christian comedian telling a story about when he was put on the spot to pray. Let’s take a look.

Play Michael Jr. video.

That’s funny, but he has a point. Prayer can be hard! Our problem is we don’t understand it. Prayer feels foreign to us because our relationship with God is not what it ought to be. As we wrestle with our fallen nature, fellowship with God becomes inconsistent. While today’s sermon will not solve all your prayer problems, it will be a start. Today we will discuss keys to effective prayer.

Matthew 6:5–8 NASB95

“When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. “But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. “And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words. “So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.

Let’s stop and focus on what Jesus said right here. Jesus assumes his followers will pray. Everybody knows we need to pray. But the way in which we pray matters. Jesus was calling out the religious leaders for the way they prayed. They were so consumed with attention from others. The way they prayed was less about the prayer and more about themselves. This is not the Christian life.

Our prayer lives are private before they are public.

Those who pray out loud in the synagogues and in the streets already have their reward. They got the attention and praise of those around them. But Jesus tells his followers to go into their inner room. close the door, and then pray. Some people refer to this as the prayer closet.

I have known Christians who literally use a space in their closet to pray. When Jesus commands this, he is not saying this is the way in which you must pray as if praying anywhere else is ineffective. Some of us may not be able to get into our closets. However, Jesus is saying if you want an effective prayer life, it needs to be private before it is public. To do this, get alone, remove distractions, and be still.

Get alone. Find a place where nobody else is. If you are not in the habit of praying regularly, get by yourself. Doing this enables you to be yourself in front of God. If you are beginning to learn how to pray, and the only time you do it is when you are around other people, you will be influenced by them. There are a couple issues with this. First, you are more likely to emulate what others are doing rather than find your own voice with God. Your prayer life with God is about you, not anyone else. Second, you are less likely to be yourself before God when others are around. You may say nothing at all. You may pray differently. You are your most authentic self when no one else is around. Start by getting alone.

When you are alone, remove distractions. Turn your phone, tablet, or computer off. Put away anything else that will compete for your attention. The more things that are there to distract you, the more likely you are to be distracted. Our world has wired us for distraction. From smartphones, to TV shows, to clutter on our desks or around the house, there are a number of things that distract us from intimacy with God. We have to do the best we can to minimize distractions.

Finally, be still. This is the simplest way of saying don’t rush it. Personal time with God in prayer is not about quantity of time, but quality. If you will focus on quality of time instead of quantity, then quantity will come with it. Make the best use of the time that you have, bringing the best attention you can bring. God will meet you where you are at. Begin with five minutes. As you grow the quality of five minutes, you will find that you won’t have to worry about quantity anymore. Get alone, remove distractions, and be still.

More words does not equal better prayer.

Jesus points to the example of the Gentiles. He said they used meaningless repetition. This is not the same in being persistent in prayer. This is not asking for the same thing repeatedly. Instead, this is the addition of words to make the prayer sound longer or more elaborate. The Gentile practice was seemingly to add volume of words in the hopes that the gods would hear them, but also to be heard by others. There is an assumption that more words equals better prayer, but that is not true. If it were, Paul’s command to pray without ceasing would require that we have unbroken communication with God the way you and I conceive of prayer. I now know that prayer is much deeper than that.

In his book on prayer, Skye Jethani likens lengthy prayer to that of a hot dog. He writes,

If we believe prayer is merely talking to God, then to pray more we must talk more. This causes us to pack our prayers with unnecessary filler like a cheap hot dog. Technically it’s food, but its nutritional value is questionable. Likewise, when our prayers are filled with details and facts with the goal of informing God, we may be talking to Him but are we really communing with Him?

This illustration provides such a valid point. Everybody knows that hot dogs are pretty terrible for you. I probably eat a hot dog twice a year. They are not healthy. Neither is filling prayer with unnecessary filler words, which is what happens when we spend a lot of time reminding God of what he already knows. But then this creates a tension. If God already knows, and God is already going to act, why pray?

We pray not to coerce God into taking action. Prayer has a way of aligning our hearts with his. Our wants and desires begin to reflect his wants and desires. Our wills begin to bend to his will. We begin to die to self and live for God. As we pray, we become aware of the story he is writing and the part we are playing in it. To do this effectively does not require an extensive prayer vocabulary. We can simply state, ask, and listen. Do not think that to pray better you must use more words.

Follow Jesus’ Model.

Having addressed the improper habits of religious leaders and Gentiles, Jesus tells his followers how to pray.

Matthew 6:9–15 NASB95

“Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. ‘Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. ‘Give us this day our daily bread. ‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. ‘And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’ “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

Jesus presents a model for his disciples to follow. If you are learning how to pray, begin here. However, do not stop at merely reciting these words. It was not the Lord’s intent for his disciples to blindly recite a scripted prayer. Rather, examining this model prayer helps us see components that make up effective prayer.

The worship/adoration of God (v. 9)

Expressed desire for God’s rule over our own (v. 10)

Request for today’s needs (v. 11)

Request for forgiveness of sin (v. 12)

Request for deliverance from trouble (v. 13)

Remember, this model payer is not designed to be followed to the letter. If you don’t start with acknowledging an attribute of God or two, it is not like God is going to turn his back on you and refuse to her your prayer. Prayers are not magical incantations to convince God to move. If you change the order of these elements, your prayer is not rendered ineffective. If you forget one of these components, it does not render your prayers ineffective. Instead, these are more like categories in which you can pray. You may use one of them or you may use all of them. We must remember that we are talking to a real person. Our prayers should function more like real conversation.

APPLICATIONS:

Spend at least 5 minutes in prayer each day (get alone, remove distractions, be still).

Prepare to offer a public prayer in next week’s service.

Come this Wednesday at 6 pm to learn more about developing prayer habits.