A Plea from a Troubled Man

We have come through the first three speeches of Job’s friends, and we have seen the basic premise of their argument.

Job, you deserve this.

Job, you need to repent!

Job, you are running from God!

As they continue their speeches, their wisdom does not change. They buckle down on their rebukes of Job, they double down on their sureness that Job’s suffering has something to do with his own guilt - some hidden sin that nobody knew about.

Because their wisdom doesn’t change, only reiterates what they’ve already said, then for our purposes what I want to do is hit some highlights throughout the rest of this section, and hone in on some of the specific lessons that we can learn.

(I encourage you to read ahead - next week we will be in chapter 19)

From a purely human standpoint, we could say of Job’s friends that their wisdom lacked empathy.

A feeling for someone. Not necessarily with common experience, but at least with recognized understanding

They lacked empathy, and they lacked sympathy too. They didn’t know what Job was experiencing - they didn’t know the whole story.

Common phrase - walk a mile in my shoes.

Job’s friends sat in the ashes with him for a week, but they only arrived after the fact - they were limited in their ability to understand, and honestly they didn’t trust his own testimony.

Job 2:11 ESV

Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him.

This entire scenario is instructive to us, because we are seeing now over and over again the rigid and stalwart declaration of true words which are bouncing off the fortified wall of context.

right words, wrong situation.

This leads me to ask a question, and I hope that you will ask it with me.

Why am I saying what I am saying?

The deepest longing in any trouble is comfort. We must have an unfailing source of comfort.

Context, Eliphaz 2nd speech.

Highlights

15:3-5

15:17,20,23,25

15:11

Assuming they were providing the comforts of God.

1. Heaping up Words is not Heaping up Comfort - Vs. 1-4

I have heard many such things

Job had heard and knew these truths not simply throughout his life, but he has now heard them many times from his friends in these very conversations.

Heaping up - Piling on the same remedy.

More of the same thing is not always the answer.

Words that his friends thought were balm were, in fact, a bludgeon.

Miserable comforters - cf. 15:35, “trouble/mischeif”

comforters who add to the trouble in stead of providing relief.

What is comfort?

to be at ease, to have a weight removed.

to be freed or eased from a pain or suffering.

Etymology - to give support, strength.

With Strength - to come with strength.

To comfort is not simply to sooth, it is to help.

Were Job’s friends helping?

they thought they were, but were they?

Could they recognize, eventually, that their words were not comforting but condescending and crushing?

vs. 3

Don’t you see you aren’t helping? You’re supposed to be the strong ones and help me, but you’re just doing the easy thing.

Can we comfort by doing the easy thing?

Illustration, wrong tool for the job.

“it worked before!” “It worked for me!”

Hard work of comfort - more at end.

Vs. 4

If I were you, I could do the easy thing too!

What you’re doing, you think is noble - but it’s actually just the opposite. It’s selfish.

2. Mourning is not Eased with Malice - Vs. 5

If I was in your shoes and you were in mine, knowing what I know, I would give comfort. I would be able to apply some balm that helps in stead of hurts.

Encourage

Comfort

Relief

All those have in common that they must come from some source which is, at least in that moment, stronger and more able.

Why am I saying what I am saying?

Is it because I am self-confident? Or is it because I have done the hard work of understanding. The hard work of studying and wanting to know.

The kind of strength that comforts is not a bravado and stone-faced resolve, it is the strength of character that can get down in the mud and examine the wounds.

Men are fixers - rip the bandaid off, add some more screws, force it and it will go, get it done.

We fear “comfort” at times because we believe comfort is just putting a pillow under something to make it softer.

But comfort is not that, it takes a strength of character that is deeper than mere willpower or even moral knowledge.

3. Comfort and Encouragement are means of Edifying, not Pacifying

Now, Job’s friends did not go off the rail of “pacifying”, at least on the surface. But did they?

In providing what we think is the quick fix, the easy answer, the “what I would do” solution that didn’t take any thought or understanding, then what we really are trying to do is pacify.

Oddly enough, saying “get over it” is a wish for something to be pacified. It’s a “fix” but not a solution.

Our Call to Build Up - Ephesians 4:29

To truly comfort someone, to come alongside with the strength of character that seeks to understand and truly help, is not to pacify but to edify - to build up.

Ephesians 4:29 ESV

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Corrupting talk

talk that makes things worse.

Building up

strength and fortitude

As fits the occasion

right words, right time.

Right tool, right job.

context, timing, understanding.

Requires hard work.

Why am I saying what I am saying?

Romans 15:1 ESV

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves.

This is true comfort. To bear with and help those who are (in this moment) weaker, and not simply to give the easy answer or the “that’ll work” answer.

Obligation - we owe it. We aren’t going the extra mile when we put in the hard work of comfort, we are doing what is right.

Why am I saying what I am saying? Is it truly because I think it will help based on my real concern and the hard work of understanding, or is it because I want to hear that answer come out of my own mouth?

Some strange gratification of being “right” is normally the easy route.

Romans 15:2–3 ESV

Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.”

Please - to act with favor. Wanting the best for them.

An edifying approach to others is born out of an others-first mentality.

An who is our example?

Christ.

Romans 15:4 ESV

For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

Romans 15:5 ESV

May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus,

“in such harmony”

to live with “others-first mentality

To build one another up

To do the hard work of understanding.

Our Blueprint in Construction - Matthew 5:4

Of course, at the end of the day, we will all be “miserable comforters” at times, because we cannot always have the fullest of understanding.

There will be times when we simply do not understand. When our assumptions are wrong and we just can’t see it.

There will be times when we are misunderstood by even the closest to us.

We might think that in those times alone we need a greater source of comfort, but it is in all times that we all need that source.

Matthew 5:4 ESV

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.