Dealing with Conflict (Emotional)

Text:

Romans 12:17–21 KJV

Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

Introduction:

Whether we realize it or not at some point we are all going to have to deal with some type of conflict. There are different types of conflict that we deal with: emotional, spiritual, physical.

(explain each)

Lord willing, next week we may deal with spiritual conflict if the LORD prompts me that way.

Let’s get right into the text:

Step 1:

Never pay back evil with more evil. Our flesh tends to want to defend itself, it wants to lash out when it perceives that we have been hurt or wronged in some type of way. In a sense it is a defense mechanism, because we hurt, we want to return the hurt. Sometimes due to the fact that we think if we hurt them bad enough, if we say the right things to them, we won’t have to worry about them ever stepping out of line again.

But what does the scriptures say about such things?

It says “recompense” which means payback. Just because they say something evil, just because they do something evil to you, doesn’t mean that you return evil back to them.

We don’t have to return evil because verse 19 “vengeance is mine saith the LORD I will repay.”

Then Paul says “Provide things honest in the sight of all men.”

This is an important element that is often skipped over.

Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.

Why? Because of who you represent, if you represent Jesus.......then you should be honorable because Jesus was honorable.

Psalm 39:1 KJV

I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me.

Proverbs 15:1 KJV

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

This is how God loved:

Romans 5:8 KJV

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

They do stuff that make us upset.

We try to love them but they keep pushing us away.

They do stuff to hurt us.

But the Lord says I get it. Because you were the same way, I get it because humanity treated me the same way.

The Lord says “I know how it feels to be mistreated, I know how it feels to be abused, I know how it feels to be lied on, I know how it feels to be used. Because I healed thousands, when they needed me I was there....but when I needed them they turned their back on me and had me crucified.

But you can’t give up on loving them, you can’t give up on praying for them.

1 John

Matthew 5:43–48 KJV

Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

But in order to do this stuff we have to die to ourselves.

1 John 3:14–20 KJV

We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death. Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him. Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him. For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.