Grateful for Each Other

Introduction

Through the fall we are working through the three themes that came out of our discussions in theMission Edge Church process in the spring. When we came together as a church to try to discern God’s leading for the future a particular word kept coming up: connection. We summed up our thoughts in a vision statement that says we will make it our goal to be a people who connect to God, each other, and our community.

The last few weeks we looked at some ways of connecting to God –tried and true ways like prayer, engaging with the Bible, and using the Psalms.

As part of this we’ve updated our prayer and scripture bookmarks which are available on the back table. You can put these in a book or on your fridge or on your desk or wherever you might bump into them often and use them as a built-in reminder to take a moment to connect with God. And if you do it regularly you may find that you begin to memorize it and can remember it at other times during the day.

Today I’m moving on to the second part – connecting to one another. This is all about being a church where we make a real effort to know one another and help and support each other as we go through life and wrestle with faith.

Not everyone is immediately excited by this notion. I know some very extraverted people who can’t get enough of being around different groups, the more the merrier – it energizes them and they miss that connection as soon as its gone. I, on the other hand, am one of those introverted people who values these connections but also gets worn out by people after a while.

Whatever your personality, we all know that sometimes other people can just be, well, a lot. I can tell when I’m getting run down or overwhelmed because I start to daydream about taking off for a cabin on an island somewhere for a few months. A cabin with solar power and satellite internet. And where the kids can come visit on the weekends.

That’s obviously not what I actually want my life to be. I am extraordinary fortunate to have a wonderful partner, three happy, healthy kids, a nearby extended family who are so supportive, friends would drop everything to help if I were in trouble. I am an incredibly rich man in every way that matters, and I’m grateful.

Relationships are precious things – they add far more meaning to life than the stuff we can acquire or whatever accomplishments we can attain. People in the palliative care ward never say “I really regret that I didn’t spend more time at my job!” If you suddenly didn’t have the people in your life that would be devastating. But because relationships are so precious there’s nothing quite like the pain of conflict or discord that can threaten them.

This is some of what we’re going to explore today when it comes to the church. The church is a special kind of spiritual community, or even a second family. And it has its own way of operating so that it can be a place of peace and unity. But this is easier said than done, given that people are prone to misunderstandings, strong opinions, poor word choices, etc. Today’s passage helps us see what it takes to connect to each other within the church in a healthy way, and, for this thanksgiving weekend, thankfulness is a key ingredient.

Setting and Context

I said before that a church can be like a second family. For the early Christians it was often more than that – it might have been their only family. For those who were disowned because they started following Jesus, or abandoned children rescued by the early Christians, or other outcasts rejected by everyone else, the church might have been the only place they could belong. The Church was also a revolutionary kind of community, because nowhere else were people actually treated with such equality. Men and women, slaves and free people, Jews and Gentiles, all had a place around the table. The verse before today’s passage, Colossians 3:11, is one place we see this: “Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.”

There were plenty of tensions and challenges that went with forming this new spiritual family. Some of the Jewish believers had a hard time letting go of their rigid rule-following, and some Gentiles struggled to let go of the wicked practices they had known all their lives. Some women gave key support and leadership from the beginning, but many of them also lacked the religious education that men received and needed to be caught up so they could participate without disrupting things.

This new kind of community was an incredible blessing to many people and the world that would be transformed by it. But it was also a lot to try and deal with. And that’s clear by how much space is given to addressing confusion and conflicts and bad behavior in the New Testament letters. These show us some of the challenges, as well as the triumphs of these early churches. The letter to the Colossians, which we’re studying today, focuses more on what is going right than what is going wrong, but it still includes important teaching on how to keep things on track.

Three Commands

Today’s passage from Colossians 3 has three main commands that show us the way. Verse 12 tells us to clothe ourselves with certain virtues, verse 15 says to let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts, and verse 16 says to let the message of Christ dwell among you. I’m going to start with the second and third commands and come back to the first.

2) So, command #2: “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”

The word “peace” here doesn’t just mean feeling calm or tranquil, it carries the meaning of the Hebrew word shalom which is about harmony and well-being. That’s the goal for a healthy church community – harmony.

What does it mean to “let the peace of Christ” rule in our hearts? The heart, as it’s used here, is the core of our being. That’s where we want to have peace. We can gain and hold on to peace by connecting to God in some of the ways we have talked about, so that, individually, we contribute to harmony. If most of the people in a community are fearful, anxious, and ready to snap, what are the chances that community is going to be a healthy place?

But there’s a communal part of this command. When we, as a church, take action or make judgements, we should wait until there is a sense of peace – the peace of Christ – that is widely shared among us. It’s not right to roll right over our brothers and sisters who are not ready to take a particular step.

This requires discernment - it can’t mean that churches don’t do anything until everybody feels good about a decision. Nothing would get done. But it does mean taking care to give people the chance to do what we are called to do – to pursue what God wants for the good of our church and His Kingdom work. When we are on track, there should be a sense of peace about it. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.”

3) Now the third command: “Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.”

That’s a bit of a run-on sentence, but it’s not too complicated. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly… Make sure that the good news of Jesus – that you are loved buy God, redeemed by Jesus’ sacrifice, and given new life lived with Jesus today and forever – let this always be at the center.

The world around us is trying to make everything political – it’s all about me and how everyone should treat me and how society should change according to my preferences. This isn’t right and it isn’t working well – mostly it drives people apart. Christians are called to ensure that what we do and think and say flows from our deep commitment to Jesus and the way He has shown us to be in this world.

This passage emphasizes some ways we keep the message of Jesus dwelling among us. Teaching each other. Admonishing one another – that’s letting people know if they are on the wrong track, or not living up to the beliefs they profess. And while these things can happen through preaching or Bible studies or conversations about faith in life this passage focuses on music.

Teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. Music has always been a vital part of Christian life and worship, though we may not think of it as an opportunity to be taught or admonished. But songs full of scripture, or that express valuable truths about God, or which confront us with what God has called us to do can play this role.

That’s something to think about when we come to times of singing. Is it just that uncomfortable time you have to stand and mumble some words projected on a screen? Or is it an opportunity to connect with words of scripture and Spirit which can teach you, challenge you, and bring you closer to God along the way? Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly…

1) Now the first command, saving the most involved for last: As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. And the next couple of instructions build on this command: Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

“Clothe yourselves” is an interesting way explaining how we should see ourselves. It is a way of expressing that, as a follower of Jesus, you have been given a new life. You are your new self because of what Jesus did for you on the cross - by the grace of God. But you haven’t learned to act like it yet. None of us do in this life.

Some Christians actively grow in faith and maturity and do become more and more compassionate, kind, humble, gentle, and patient. This testifies to God’s goodness, blesses the Church, and helps the Church to bless the world.

Other Christians never learn to clothe themselves very well. It’s not that everyone should be expected to reach the same place from our different starting points, but we should all be seeking to make strides in these things.

One of the saddest things to me are people who came to believe that they just had to say the right prayer or agree to the right beliefs at some point to join this tribe and have not seen any meaningful transformation in their lives. That’s a terrible loss to them, and they often become an embarrassment to the cause of Christ and a hindrance or destructive force within the church.

Because what happens if you don’t clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience? You go around being impatient, harsh, prideful, angry, and uncaring. You shouldn’t be able to carry on this way year after year you have actually repented of sin and are living with a love for Jesus.

Love is at the center here, as verse 14 says: And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Love is the big overcoat you put on over top of all of the other good qualities that flow from knowing Jesus – Love keeps everything else secure and in its proper place.

There’s one other part of this verse to single out because of its huge practical value: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.”

This applies to lower-level things. Someone unknowingly says something that hurts or offends you. Or you’re working with someone whose approach to things rubs you the wrong way or leaves you feeling undervalued. Or someone likes to brag sometimes, and makes it sound like they deserve the credit for something you’ve contributed toward. Or someone hasn’t updated their joke repertoire in a few decades and really needs to stop implying that all blondes are stupid or that certain ethnic minorities don’t work hard enough.

Sometimes we are called to endure the relatively small stuff – to bear with one another. We noticed what they did, we didn’t like it, but rather than add it to the list of grievances we keep for each person, the Bible says to forgive it. Consciously chose to let that go, to not hold it against them or let it be a barrier to loving that person.

No group of people can function well for very long if they won’t bear with one another in certain things, and the Church isn’t supposed to be just any group of people – we’re people given new life by Jesus an called to “clothe ourselves” with His good character.

But this subject is tricky, because “bearing with one another” is not always the answer. Jesus, in Matthew 18:15, taught that if someone sins against you it is best to go to them and explain what they’ve done so that the person – who may not even know they’ve done something that’s hurt you - has the opportunity to make that right and restore or even strengthen the relationship. Then Jesus also explained how the church should be involved if that person won’t listen or respond.

So there is a judgement call here, one that benefits from prayer and reflection. As the offended person, will I chose to actively forgive this person and continue on without holding whatever it was against the offender? Maybe. But maybe I’m not sure I can truly let it go, or the behavior keeps happening, so it’s better to ask if that person will have an awkward conversation with me about it.

It’s not easy to know which is best, but it is very important that we chose one or the other, because these are the only valid options when it comes to normal, everyday issues between people. It is not acceptable to do neither – to not say anything but go around harboring a grudge. That’s not what Jesus-followers do – we forgive as the Lord forgave us instead of harboring resentment. We also don’t go around telling everybody but the person who has upset us about it. Gossip, in Romans 1, is given as evidence of a depraved mind alongside things like envy, deceit, malice, arrogance, greed, and murder!

As God’s chosen people, clothe yourselves with Christ’s character and love.

How Thanksgiving Helps It Work

This is all well and good, but knowing the right thing to do is the easy part. Actually doing it, especially on a bad day or the heat of the moment, is harder. That’s why we don’t rely on our own strength, but look to God to help us to be like Jesus when we couldn’t manage it on our own. But I want to end by highlighting something that can greatly help us with this: thanksgiving. It comes up in every other verse of this passage:

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts... And be thankful.”

“…singing to God with gratitude in your hearts…”

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

I’ve said in the past, and I still think I might be right, that the two things that will dependably move a person to reach out to God are gratitude and desperation. People in desperate need don’t forget to pray. And people who are grateful don’t forget about God through their day.

You can start with giving thanks for another day where you draw breath, and had food for your table, and people to love.

And to that we add gratitude for what Jesus has done for us. He came to a world that He knew would reject Him, taught and healed and served and then lay down His life for the sake of our redemption. And along the way He defeated our ultimate enemy – death – and offers the promise of eternal life to those who profess faith in Him.

That’s a lot to be thankful for. It doesn’t make everything about life easy or mean we have it all figured out, but we have real reason for profound hope. And we have a way to live – the Jesus way – that is wise and good. And I think as our culture moves farther from that way and becomes increasingly dysfunctional and unhealthy in various ways, more people are going to realize that Christian faith deserves a closer look.

Add to this thanksgiving whatever ways God has been at work in your life that you’ve noticed – the hard times He has seen you through, the ways you’ve felt directed down a good path, whatever your experiences have been.

If we are grateful to God in a way that is worthy of all of this, then of course we’ll want to clothe ourselves with all of these good qualities in order to live a better life and in order to help the world see how much God deserves our thanks and praise.

If we understand all the ways that we have needed God’s forgiveness, and the ways we will keep needing forgiveness, that will help us bear with each other, and forgive each other, because we’ll remember, with gratitude, that doing that for our brothers and sisters is a small thing compared to what God has done for us.

We can be thankful when we do experience the peace of God – the sense that we are where we are supposed to be, doing what we are supposed to do. We have a place and a purpose, and we want to keep it that way by being careful in our choices.

And we can express our gratitude in worship – singing like we’re calling out to the God who has rescued us and given us more than we could ever deserve or even imagine – because it’s true.

And that last verse really lays it out: Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

When we can do something valuable, or when we can say or teaching something helpful, that’s not cause for us to think highly of ourselves. It’s a way of way of acting on our gratitude for what God has done, gratitude that will keep pointing us to Jesus.

Conclusion

I am profoundly grateful for the Church. Growing up it introduced me to a loving God who cared about me. It taught me a deeper sense of right and wrong that than I would have found anywhere else. I helped me discover what some of my gifts and abilities were and gave opportunities to use them and be valued for it. The Church put me in relationships with people I wouldn’t have come to know otherwise, people who were a blessing to my life and encouragement to my faith.

I didn’t realize how grateful I should have been at the time. I wasn’t terribly grateful when I was singing old hymns that nobody but the pastor seemed to know, or when I felt awkward and anxious starting church youth group and had to be practically dragged there by my parents a few times early on.

But my life was transformed, because God used the Church to help me see who I could be as a follower of Jesus. I give thanks for Christian community, even though I know very well that it can be dysfunction and painful at times – all families and communities can be.

So, here’s what I’d like you to walk away with. What makes you thankful when you think about your place in church community? Or who makes you thankful? Dwell on that gratitude. And then think about what you can offer that will make others grateful.

Who in the church gives thanks because of you? Because of your good character and example. Because you bear with them and forgive? Or because the peace of Christ is clearly with you. Or because you’re good at keeping Jesus as the center – letting the message of Christ dwell richly in you. How do I make this a place that will inspire people to be grateful to God? That’s worth praying about…