Marriage and the Kingdom of God
Notes
Transcript
Introduction
Introduction
Good morning church. It’s a joy to be with you this morning. Hello to everyone watching online and everyone downtown.
if you have your Bibles go ahead and open up to matthew 19 and let’s start in verse 1.
Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
Last week I taught on forgivness and what it means to forgive from the heart. And as a quick encourgement. I know some of you heard the sermon and Thought I know who I need to forgive. But it’s been hard to do it.
Sometimes the road to forgivness is longer then we expect but the important thing is you are on that road. And if you are moving towards forgivness you can be sure Jesus is moving with you because he is ultimently the one who has ultiment forgivness
even his dying breath he prayed “father forgive them” On Jesus worst day. Betrayed, abadonded, alone, left to die
he is still thinking about others.
Be assured if you heart is to forgive or ask for forgivness your heart is where God would want it
We are told by Matthew Jesus finished his teachings and goes away from Galilee.
He is making his way to Jerusalme. He is moving towards the cross. It’s where his life has always been heading
and we are told large crowds followed him and he healed.
How increadible is the generosity of Jesus. Ever single word in the bible matters so let’s not move past this on his way to the cross he is still changing peoplese lives.
we don’t know who is in the crowd but maybe the ambugity of matthew is encoruaging here. Jeuss didn’t just heal one crippled man or one sick women
he healed whole crowds
what power and what might is this!
this is who Jesus is and it’s how Jesus loves
and as he is providing his healing minsitry an intersting thing happens
And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”
As he moved towards the pharieses came to Jesus Jerusalm R Kent Hughes says it this way
blind men came with deaf and a dumb question
Instead of asking where is this power coming from. How are you healing so many people
How are you teaching on forgivness in the way you are
they ask Jesus about divorce.
instead of asking about his death and resurrection they asked about divorce
instead of asking if he was the messiah they ask about divorce
and friends you have to know they don’t come with mcuh sincerity
insteads of coming as shepherds saying some in the flock are really struggling we need your help Jesus
or instead of coming like pastors who have sat with those who had gone through divorce or where considering it
with tears in their eyes
they come to “test” him
they want to discred Jesus
the word “test” doesn’t mean they were comiing to Jesus wanting to having an honest conversation
they were hoping to trap and trick Jesus
this word is the same word used in
Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.
In other words the Phariees were acting like the devil when they approach Jesus
They are trying to get Jesus in the middle of a political debate.
They are most likely wondering Will Jesus be the conservative or liberal in his response to divorce?
if he is cosertive in the best case scenerio he will suffer the same fate as John the baptist
When John confroted herod with his views on divoce he was killed for it
worst case they trick him and he falls for the trap so they can say he’s a law breaker
but tender hearted Jesus has a brilliant and beautiful respones
He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Jesus is going back to first principles. In other words He is reminding his disciples and anyone else who would listen to his teaching about how things were in the beginning.
In the beginning God made one man and one woman and he brought them together. It’s good for us to know marriage was and has always been something birthed out of the heart of God. Since he brought them together divorce was inconceivable.
When God officated the first marriage and brought Eve to Adam, he made no allowance for the marriage to end.
I think we understand this. It would be rare for someone on their own wedding day to hope this marriage ends in divorce. At most weddings there is this celebration of 2 coming together. The husband and the wife leave their homes to form a new home. This is front and center and celebrated even at today's weddings.
One author said this which I found helpful when talking about marriage
I’ve had the joy of officiating many weddings over the years. adn wathced people make this promise to do the impossible
And to illustrate the 2 people getting married come up with all sorts of ways to show they are coming together.
I have seen a unity knot (people tying rope together)
Unity cross
Unity tree (dirt from childhood homes into a bucket with a tree) It was amazing
unity sand and a host of other things. It is truly remarkable the ideas people come up with these days. I share with you– as the Pastor who is officiating those weddings it’s one of the parts which can make you nervous. you pray whatever they are doing they have practiced.
Because the worst thing is when you are trying to tie a knot or put something together on your wedding day and it doesn’t work out, it can be pretty awkward. People observing the wedding start to get worried if this marriage is going to work out and so does the couple.
My nerves are from my own experience in this area. On my wedding day 18 years ago next week, we chose a pretty traditional unity moment. We were going to do the unity candle. If you aren’t familiar with this practice, normally at the beginning of the ceremony the parents of each spouse light a candle representing the homes they are in. Then at the right time the couples go to the candle, light the middle one showing 2 becoming one, and blow out the candles their parents lit.
Well on my wedding day it didn’t go quite as expected. It came time for us to light the candle. We walk down the stairs, A josh groban song was being sung, and Elizabeth whispers to me “do you remember what to do?” in all the confidence I had within me I said “yes!” Problem was I had no clue.
we get our candles. Elizabeth leans in to light the middle one but I turn away and immediately I blow out my family’s candle. She says “STEVEN” and the place erupts in laughter. I still didn’t know in that moment what I did wrong but man I knew I messed up something
and I share that with you because really there is something at most weddings which points back to the words of Jesus in Matthew and the words of Moses in Genesis.
He says God has created male and female. this is how it’s been form teh beginning
and a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife
Marriage was started by God. It was something amazing and beutiful
and Jesus says in essence here it is
a man will cleave or hold fast to his wife
it means their is a covenant made
it’s a public vow and commitment of absolute faithfunlness
Keller said it this way
“In a wedding, you are not so much declaring your present love, though of course that’s the reason for it. In a wedding, you are promising future love. You’re not just saying, “I feel tender to you now.” In a wedding, in a covenant, you’re saying nothing about your feelings at the present. In a covenant, you are saying, “I promise to be tender, to be affectionate, to be faithful, to be serving from now on regardless of your condition or mine.” That’s what a covenant is.”
“This is the suprise of marraige You promise the impossible and have the audacity to attempt it.”
It’s not just about having children, it’s not just about a feeling, it’s not just having a home and having great christmas cards
it’s more then that. It’s a covenant with one another and with God
there’s a deep friendship that also takes place in marriage. God made eve because he saw it wasn’t good for adam to be alone
and when Adam saw eve he broke in to poetry
he said this is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh
he’s not just saying i love you eve
he is saying I am you
he is talking about something a lot deper it’s this idea of being one flesh
When you are in this tuyp of relationship
you have opened yourself up all the way
you are exposed
you are loved and you are delighted in when God is at the center of your marriage
It can be scary
it can be really difficult to find someone who is loving you and rejocing with you and accepting you
and this is hard work. My friend Jeff told me once at a marriage retreat Elizabeth and I attended marriage is hard work
He said find a couple whose marriage you respect and seem like they are in love after 30 or 40 eyars of marriage and ask them how
If they are honest they will first say God
and then second say hard work
because to be in this one flesh union is hard work where you open yourself up over and over
and in all of that Jesus is showing us just how important a marriage is.
In the garden God didn’t put a parent and a child
he didn’t put a bunch of people of the same gender
no he but a man and a woman and because of this marraige really has the the power to set the course for your life
if it’s weak it doesn’t amtter how strong everything else is
if it’s strong and everything else is weak around you
you can move out into your life in strenght
iIn Jesus day and in our day some are still teaching the wrong things about marriage. They say marriage is about
Staying in love
Being happy
getting your way
raising a family
having companionship
having a best friend
and while those things are good none of those are what the Bible holds out as what marriage really is. Because if that’s all marriage is then when you don’t feel in love anymore it might be easier to end the marriage
or if you just aren’t happy what would be the big deal of ending the marriage
if it’s about getting your way (good luck with that) because you wont
or if it’s just friendship and companionship the minute you don’t feel as connected you might start to entertain dissolving your marriage.
but the Bible says marriage is more than those things
look at what Paul writes in
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
The Bible is helping us understand what marriage is really meant to display. In marriage we are told the relationship between the husband and wife is so special it actually displays the relationship that Jesus has with his church!
Marraige is a picture and potrait of the gospel and when it’s broken its a remind of why jesus is heading to Jerusalm.
A husband is supposed to love his wife in such a way it reminds her of how much Jesus loves her. And as she is reminded about how much she is loved by Jesus her love for Jesus increases. Her affections are stirred
Husbands if you aren’t loving your wife this way repent and tell her your sorry and commit to God you will do this
and a wife loves and follows her husbands as he leads his household
and all of this displays the beautiful relationship Jesus has with the church.
What a joy this all is!!
but his answer doesn’t really convince them so they try to go deeper and trick him more.
They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
they think we’ve got him.
If this is true then why did moses allow for divorce.
and Jesus says because of the hardness of your hearts.
Wow!
They want to know if a man can divorce his wife for an Improperly cooked meal
The fact they even are asking this question shows just how hard their hearts become
Ever marriage in the world happens before God and every divorce tears it apart
ANd they come to Jesus and say when is it ok to tear?
It’s almost as if Jesus is looking back at them and saying “why is there no tears in your eyes when you are asking about this”
How do we receive the kingdom of God- soft hearts, humble status and empty hands
Friends,
WE NEED SOFT HEARTS
He is tender.
What God loves to unite
human kind likes to pull apart
Divorce is an amputation
One approach is cruel
Other is tender
Jesus knows the immense pain divorce can cause
Marriage is glued together
Divorced people often talk about how it tears at the very fabric at who they are
The price is very high
Phariees look at data
Jesus looks at people
Phariees hard a fast rules
Jesus sees a world of pain
it’s why he came. He came to deal with our pain, brokenss, shame and guilt
and I know many of us have been impacted by divorce
If you have been touched by the devastation of divorce in this room allow Jesus to move in and start to do a new work in your heart.
If it was because of your sin, and you’ve never asked for forgiveness do so today. He has never turned away a person who comes to him
If you are a child of divorce, a friend of someone who is divorced, or a family member of someone who is divorced. Know it’s not the way God intended for it to be.
Allow his Gentleness and kindness to bring healing to you. Open your heart to experience the love of Christ afresh and anew.
I know this pain. Divorce is in my family tree. It left me hurting, questioning, and even wondering my worth
but I am learning to say with Joseph- what was meant for evil, God has used for God.
If someone left you, if they abandoned you, Failed to keep the mariage convent. Failed to keep their vows
I know the pain is still there. You may still be left wondering your worth and your value.
My heart hurts for you if someone's sin brought an end to something you never imagined would end.
No one stands on thier wedding day and says you no what. I hope one day this ends in divorce.
but
That’s why Jesus said what he did in Matthew. He said the way of the world isn’t God's way. but if you have experienced the pain of this J
esus doesn’t move away from you he actually moves towards you
I pray you can allow your heart to be opened to be loved by Jesus today.
A while ago I ran into one of my long time friends who had experienced the pain of divorce. During the season when things were tough I reached out to them. I called them but got no responses. I think the pain of what they were walking through was just too tough
but then one night I ran into them in the lobby of a movie theater. My heart immediately went out to them not knowing exactly what to say. They could tell it was hard for me to find words
So I said all I could. I am so sorry.
They looked at me with a smile on their face and even though they had experienced betrayal and abandonment they said “it’s ok. It’s been so hard But Jesus is doing his best work in me now.”
They said “I am actually realizing Jesus makes a better husband.” and to that end I was surprised, amazed and encouraged.
I texted them this week to check in and ask permission to share this part of their story.
Their response was this:
“I am very OK and comfortable with you using any part of my story or my testimony for this chunk of sermon…
“I feel extremely delighted by the Lord and seen by his community that you have even reached out and asked me!
“That is basically what I said! Jesus does make a better husband!
“I also tell people all the time that saying no to my earthly marriage meant that I just said yes to a better heavenly marriage. It’s not been easy every day but it’s been getting better every day.”
I know Jesus can do the same kind of work in each person's heart today.
And maybe you have divorced has touched your life in some way this morning. and the way you’ve covered the shame, guilt, and condematnion that can come with divorce is with fig leaves. At best this covering my hide what you are feeling. but it sure doesn’t deal with it.
some fig leaves we might use. We were young, it was just to hard, there was no way forward. and a bunch of other thoughts.
Friends there is a better covering today. IT’s the blood of Jesus. He blood still speaks today.
and his stripes really can bring healing to us
HIs grace hasn’t failed yet
He truly is aquinted with our grief and suffering and his covering for us is better
and some of you know this becuase of his grace, his love and his kindess your marriage was or is in the process of being saved.
thank the Lord for that today
the passage ends with Jesus disciples asking him a sincere question. Not one to trick him
The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
They say Jesus if this is the case. maybe we shouldn’t get married. Maybe it’s not worth it
but Jesus helps them
he says that if you are single, your life matters also.
allow this season of your life to be used for the sake of the kingdom of God
and if you are able recive this
ItMaybe you feel called to singleness. You feel like the Lord has given you that grace
there is nothing wrong with this. This is something the Lords giving you
if this is true then allow your life to be used for the kingdom of God
and maybes it’s just a season
if you are single and you are wondering what do I do with my life? what’s my future?
Jesus words instruct you. maybe you will be married one day. but you aren’t today and instead of spending every moment of every day seeking that
instead seek first the kingdom of God
and when you do you will bless others. And through your obedience the kingdom will move forward
and if your marriage is in a tough spot or a great spot today. a good day to grab your spouse’s hand again and remember your wedding day. The day you said I do. And just continue to commit to keeping this covenant
If you hope to be married- pray for your future spouse. Ask God to keep them pure and be loved by him. Ask him to prepare your heart
If you feel called to singleness - pray for the marriages around you
If you need help please reach out to us
Let’s pray
