Reputation

Introduction

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Proverbs Series QR Code.

Coming up on the end of our Proverbs 31 series.

We have been examining what it looks like to be a “Proverbs 31 Man” and a “Proverbs 31 Woman”

SERIES RECAP

First Week:

Where should a man give his strength?

NOT: To things that will destroy him (intoxication, unfaithful women, injustice)

DO: The Great Commission and to self-control (taming his human nature).

Second Week:

Devotion is what makes a Prov 31 Woman a Prov 31 Woman.

Devotion to her husband.

Devotion to her household.

Devotion to serving others.

Devotion to caring for and knowing herself.

Devotion to God.

This Week:

The importance of reputation for both the man and woman of Proverbs 31.

PERSONAL ILLUSTRATION

When I was younger (middle/high school), I would do everything in my power to make sure people liked me.

Born into a military family, our family was a well-oiled machine. Everything did what it was supposed to do, and if it didn’t, my parents were very quick to correct that.

As a middle child, I pleasure of witnessing my older sister make all of the mistakes for me.

As she was being scolded, as she was being disciplined, my little sister and I were observing.

As young children, we were observing the world around us, and we were interpreting everything that was going on around us.

We were making these interpretations with brains that were not fully developed, they did not have the cognitive capacity to truly understand what we saw.

Children are great observers, but they’re terrible interpreters.

I’m not saying my parents did everything right.

Gwen and I will make mistakes when we become parents in April of next year. So pray for us!

We created lies that we started to believe.

Lies that have sat in the core of my being for over 20 years.

“The only way to be liked is to do what’s expected.”

At first, this sounds fine, but there’s an issue that quickly rises to the surface.

Everyone has different expectations.

I was a chronic people pleaser, and, to this day, I still struggle with this.

It’s easy for me to do so many things because I’m afraid of what people will think if I say, “No.”

Bruce isn’t committed.

Bruce actions don’t line up with his words.

If he really cared about this, he’d do more.

These kinds of lies lead to exhaustion, they lead to us acting out of character, we become reactionary to the things around us.

The fear that drives these thoughts is a fear of how people view me.

I want to control how people view me.

So historically, what I’ve done is anything and everything possible to appease everyone around me so that they don’t see me as a product of negative virtues but positive ones.

So that they’d ascribe to me a positive reputation.

That became my mission in life. Have the best reputation you can have.

PAUSE:

Many in the room:

“Shouldn’t we want to have a good reputation?”

YES. You should.

By all means, pursue a good reputation.

The pursuit of a good reputation is a good pursuit.

That’s not what I’m criticizing; I’m criticizing the motive for pursuing a good reputation.

How people like me have been motivated by insecurities and fear to pursue a good reputation.

I was pursuing a good reputation so that people would think highly of me.

The Problem

The problem with reputation is that it can so easily become our identity.

Greek:

"Onoma” means “name” —> Our name is one of the most fundamental facets of our identity.

It is what we’re called. It is what we’re known by.

“Onoma” also is translated as “reputation”

It’s what others call you. It is what we’re known by.

To make our reputation great is to make our name great; to make our name great is to glorify us.

Do you see the problem?

It’s all about motive.

The problem isn’t that we’re pursuing a good reputation.

Are we pursuing a good reputation to glorify our name?

Or are we pursing a good reputation to glorify God’s name?

The Solution

We want to pursue a good reputation for the sake of God’s glory, not ours.

It’s clear throughout Scripture that God wants us to have good reputations.

Our good desire for a good reputation is thwarted, it’s warped by an impure desire to elevate ourselves.

I want us to pursue a good reputation - with good motive.

So we’ll look at what constitutes a good reputation through Prov 31

Then I will show you how all of that is rooted in God, and not in ourselves

Proverbs 31

The Man

Proverbs 31:4 NIV

It is not for kings, Lemuel— it is not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer,

There is a reputation that a king has, based on that king’s lifestyle that he must live out of.

A king is not:

One who:

Wastes his strength on women (unfaithful women that would draw him away from his devotions)

Aligns his paths to destruction

Drinks to forgetfulness

Not talking about blackout drunkenness, but to the point where you’re unable to do what is right.

Stephen, “Could I pick them up and take them home?”

Don’t be under the influence to the point where you cannot do what you’re supposed to do.

A king is: one who is a:

v.8 Mouthpiece for the needy

Speaks for the rights of those who are destitute.

Defending those who are in need.

v.9 Righteous Judge

Defends the rights of the poor and needy.

There is a reputation that a King has.

The King lives in such a way that allows him to do what is right for those around him.

for those who are under his care

for those who are in his sphere of influence.

It is THIS that takes priority.

His reputation as a king is built on how he is serving those in his care.

Not on how many women he can take home

Not on how quickly he can shotgun a beer

Not on how reliable of a beer pong partner he is

A king is a king because he serves.

And we see that’s true when we look at Jesus, the true king, and how he serves.

Mark 10:45 NIV

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

A King is a King because he sacrifices to make the lives of those under his care better.

Lemuel is just imitating the life of Jesus, who was to come.

The King is imitating the TRUE King

The King’s Reputation is built off of an Imitation of Jesus Christ.

It’s not Lemuel’s crown to wear, it’s Christ’s

That’s something that we’ll see with the woman, too.

The Woman

How she is viewed by:

The world

Her household

Her God

How the World Views Her

v. 16-18 She is someone who does good work.

Proverbs 31:16–18 NIV

She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

v.16 She is discerning and decisive in her work

Don’t just sit on your thoughts, but in prudence and wisdom, act.

Knowing what’s good without doing good, is nothing.

So act.

v.17 She works hard at what she does.

sets about her work vigorously (with strength, enthusiasm, hard work - on the right path)

Have a good attitude (unrelenting, hardworking, persevering) in the workplace.

Don’t be quick to complain.

v.17 She’s fit for what she does.

“Her arms are strong for her tasks.”

She goes to her mandatory trainings.

She pays attention to her trainings.

She sets herself up to be able to do her job well.

Be someone who is forward focused:

Ask yourself, “What can I do now so that I can also be a blessing later?”

v.18 Her trading is profitable, and her lamp never goes out.

The lamps in her home never go out because she’s able to trade for oil all the time… she’s that profitable.

Status symbol within the community.

Be a light:

Allow your work to be a testimony of your faithfulness.

v.20 She is someone who serves those in need.

Proverbs 31:20 NIV

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

Be others-focused:

Look for the needs of those around you, and open your arms to them.

Don’t just look for the needs, fill the needs.

v. 23 She lifts up others’ reputations.

Because the excellence of the wife her husband’s reputation is increased also. With this being “known in the gates,”

Proverbs 31:23 NIV

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

This allows her husband to be a representative in the town

“known in the gates” doesn’t imply familiarity, it implies certainty.

They are CERTAIN of his character; he is an elder.

Be someone who lifts up the reputation of those around you.

v. 26 she speaks with wisdom, and faithful (graceful) instruction is on her tongue.

She is wise with her words; doesn’t say things haphazardly.

If wisdom is “the art of living a godly life” then it follows that the words from her mouth are for that purpose.

To lift up others, for edification, for encouragement.

Use your words wisely. Prov 18:21

Proverbs 18:21 NIV

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Be careful not to gossip. Prov 11:13

Proverbs 11:13 NIV

A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.

She does good work.

She helps those in need.

She lifts others’ reputations up.

And she speaks with wisdom and grace (edifying words come from her lips).

How Her Household Views Her

v.11 She is trustworthy.

Proverbs 31:11–12 NIV

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

v. 11 She provides.

v.12 brings good, not harm.

Live a life that builds trust and confidence.

V. 14-15 She sacrifices.

Proverbs 31:14–15 NIV

She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.

Walks long distances to bring food from afar. Wakes while it is still dark to provide food for the family and for her servants.

Live sacrificially. Remember the king from earlier.

A king sacrifices for the betterment of those around him.

v.28 “called blessed” and is praised by her husband.

Proverbs 31:28 NIV

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

Don’t disparage your S/O at the watercooler!!!

“All my wife does is nag.” “I wish I could do this more, but my wife doesn’t let me have any fun anymore.”

Praise in public.

If you have legitimate issues to talk about, have a confidential conversation with a trusted brother/sister in Christ

Don’t disparage them in public. Praise them.

How God Views Her

v.22 “She is clothed in fine linen and purple.”

Proverbs 31:22 NIV

She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

How she understands God’s view of her.

Purple dye implies two things:

Her work is prosperous and she can trade for foreign dyes

She views herself as royalty.

v.19 she’s the one who’s actually grasping the spindle — she’s working, which implies that she’s not REALLY royalty.

She knows something about herself that surpasses a physical identity.

She knows something about herself that goes beyond her earthly reputation.

v.29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

Proverbs 31:29 NIV

“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

Noble things does not necessarily equal good.

v.30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

Charm and beauty accompany nobility - we see that in our world.

Look at the royal family

They exude beauty and charm

When someone in the royal family does something “not charming” they’re slandered on TMZ and supermarket magazines.

Charm and beauty accompany nobility.

Mia Thermopoulis (Princess Diaries) - Anne Hathaway

She learns that she’s a Princess and she goes through a makeover.

Hair straightened, contact lenses, etiquette classes with grandma (the queen, Julie Andrews)

From a nerdy, “ugly” Mia —> a beautiful, charming, respectable princess.

She developed beauty and Charm, and all of the earthly things that come along with it.

Money, power, influence (Mandy Moore went from enemy to “friend”)

We place our identity in a reputation that’s built on these things:

Beauty, charm, money, power, influence, Gucci bags, Louis V. --

as if those things really matter.

Many women do noble things… many women have things that point to nobility… BUT YOU SURPASS THEM ALL…

v.30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

Why is she praised in the household?

Not because of the things she is doing; Because she fears the Lord.

It’s because she fears the Lord that she provides so well for her family.

It’s because she fears the Lord that she works as if God were her supervisor.

It’s because she fears the Lord that her household is in order.

It’s because she fears the Lord that she is royalty.

She can put on a purple garment not because of what she does, but because of what God does.

CONCLUSION

Our reputation is ultimately based on the reputation of Jesus.

He lived a perfect life that we couldn’t live.

His reputation was spotless, it was perfect.

But he was punished as if his reputation was the worst of any human in history.

So he died a death he didn’t deserve to die. And then he rose again, on the third day, victoriously.

Now, anybody who believes in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ and confesses with their mouth that Jesus is Lord...

That person no longer has to live in their unimpressive reputation.

Their reputation is now the reputation of Jesus Christ.

They’re clothed in the righteousness of Christ.

Imputation:

God doesn’t see our dingy robe of our own reputation.

He sees the purple robe of Christ’s reputation.

We live life to show the reputation of Christ in everything that we do.

Feed the hungry, you show a little bit more of Jesus’ reputation

Clothe the needy, you show a little bit more of Jesus’ reputation

You put in that extra bit of effort at work, you show a little bit more of Jesus’ reputation

Forgive those who wronged you, you show a little bit more of Jesus’ reputation

React with a positive attitude when work gets stressful, you show a little bit more of Jesus’ reputation

You speak a good word about the coworker or friend that everyone dislikes, you show a little bit more of Jesus’ reputation

You do anything good, the world sees a little bit more of Jesus’ reputation.

And when the world see’s Jesus’ reputation, oh, is the Father glorified!!!

Matthew 5:16 NIV

In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Because every good deed allows the world to see a little bit more of Jesus

and when the world sees Jesus, the Father is glorified.

So we pursue a good reputation not to lift ourselves up, not to make ourselves seen,

but to lift up the name of Jesus Christ,

that his reputation would shine throughout the world

and that people would come to see and know him,

turn from their sins and glorify the father in heaven.

Let’s Pray.