Wayward Children

Introduction

Back to the life of David. Where are we?

David has become a great king uniting the land of Israel under on rule. But he is not a perfect king or father. He has sinned committed adultery and murder to cover up things. He not taken justice for his daughters rape. He has not stepped up and been the father that he needs to be. Instead he has chosen to take a backseat, And let his children just do whatever and not risk hurting their feelings. And let them be at war with them.

Hard position for a father to be in

2 Samuel 15:1-17

2 Samuel 15:1–17 NIV

1 In the course of time, Absalom provided himself with a chariot and horses and with fifty men to run ahead of him. 2 He would get up early and stand by the side of the road leading to the city gate. Whenever anyone came with a complaint to be placed before the king for a decision, Absalom would call out to him, “What town are you from?” He would answer, “Your servant is from one of the tribes of Israel.” 3 Then Absalom would say to him, “Look, your claims are valid and proper, but there is no representative of the king to hear you.” 4 And Absalom would add, “If only I were appointed judge in the land! Then everyone who has a complaint or case could come to me and I would see that they receive justice.” 5 Also, whenever anyone approached him to bow down before him, Absalom would reach out his hand, take hold of him and kiss him. 6 Absalom behaved in this way toward all the Israelites who came to the king asking for justice, and so he stole the hearts of the people of Israel. 7 At the end of four years, Absalom said to the king, “Let me go to Hebron and fulfill a vow I made to the Lord. 8 While your servant was living at Geshur in Aram, I made this vow: ‘If the Lord takes me back to Jerusalem, I will worship the Lord in Hebron.’ ” 9 The king said to him, “Go in peace.” So he went to Hebron. 10 Then Absalom sent secret messengers throughout the tribes of Israel to say, “As soon as you hear the sound of the trumpets, then say, ‘Absalom is king in Hebron.’ ” 11 Two hundred men from Jerusalem had accompanied Absalom. They had been invited as guests and went quite innocently, knowing nothing about the matter. 12 While Absalom was offering sacrifices, he also sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counselor, to come from Giloh, his hometown. And so the conspiracy gained strength, and Absalom’s following kept on increasing. 13 A messenger came and told David, “The hearts of the people of Israel are with Absalom.” 14 Then David said to all his officials who were with him in Jerusalem, “Come! We must flee, or none of us will escape from Absalom. We must leave immediately, or he will move quickly to overtake us and bring ruin on us and put the city to the sword.” 15 The king’s officials answered him, “Your servants are ready to do whatever our lord the king chooses.” 16 The king set out, with his entire household following him; but he left ten concubines to take care of the palace. 17 So the king set out, with all the people following him, and they halted at the edge of the city.

Pray

Obedience and Honor

Absolom here begins undermining his father. Getting ready to take his fathers place.

When children are young the primary thing we teach them is obedience. Obedience to parents and to God.

But as they grow there is a growing idea of teaching them less about just obeying and more about responsibility and about honor.

Let’s Define those terms in today’s society.

Responsibility - Not in Bible

Webster’s dictionary:

Moral, legal or mental accountable

Reliable, trustworthy

Sometimes a burden

In Genesis says am I my brother’s keeper Genesis 4:9 “9 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” “I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?””. Am I responsible for my brother?

When They say let your yes be yes and your no be no in James 5:12 “12 Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. All you need to say is a simple “Yes” or “No.” Otherwise you will be condemned.” It is about taking responsibility for your words.

And sometimes it is a burden that we must carry. Taking responsibility for our sins, Taking responsibility for our actions. That’s why so many people are not responsible. Don’t want the burden of it.

Honor

Webster’s Dictionary:

Good name

Reputation Treat with respect

Bible we are told to honor mother and father. To bring weight. To make it worth something. Going back to the old scale system when seeing what something was worth. To prize or make valuable.

Responsibility and Honor are two words that everyone should know.

That may show itself different in every generation. Your parents vs you. But doesn’t make it go away. Something that few do and maybe getting fewer. It’s up for debate. We can argue later.

But part of being a parent is teaching.

These two words responsibility and honor.

We do this is by acting it out as adults and by allowing them to make choices and live with the results of those choices.

David fails in both of those.

David fails to take responsibility for his own choices leading to his murder.

David fails to take responsibility for the family with the rape of his daughter.

David failed to stand up when his son lead in rebellion around him.

David failed to let Absalom take responsibility for murder.

Leads to direct revolt.

David failed to make Amnon take responsibility for his actions. And let him get away with the rape of his sister.

And like the prodigal son he tells his father that I wish you were dead. And that I could have my inheritance now.

And he takes it.

2 Samuel 16:15-22

2 Samuel 16:15–22 NIV

15 Meanwhile, Absalom and all the men of Israel came to Jerusalem, and Ahithophel was with him. 16 Then Hushai the Arkite, David’s confidant, went to Absalom and said to him, “Long live the king! Long live the king!” 17 Absalom said to Hushai, “So this is the love you show your friend? If he’s your friend, why didn’t you go with him?” 18 Hushai said to Absalom, “No, the one chosen by the Lord, by these people, and by all the men of Israel—his I will be, and I will remain with him. 19 Furthermore, whom should I serve? Should I not serve the son? Just as I served your father, so I will serve you.” 20 Absalom said to Ahithophel, “Give us your advice. What should we do?” 21 Ahithophel answered, “Sleep with your father’s concubines whom he left to take care of the palace. Then all Israel will hear that you have made yourself obnoxious to your father, and the hands of everyone with you will be more resolute.” 22 So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof, and he slept with his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel.

Absalom enters Jerusalem

And takes over his father’s harem. Dishonoring his father’s name. Because David still lived. And when parents fail in this it is a cycle that perpetuates.

Look at Solomon’s children. No perfect parents but we have responsibility’s that we must follow through with.

And we will be held accountable for our job as parents.

Good and bad. Then sometimes you can do everything right and sometimes children still go wayward. And I guarantee no one (myself included) does everything right.

So sometimes kids go wayward.

When they are young

You can make them do things

When they are older it becomes more like negotiation

And then when they are grows well it is out of your hands

Galatians 4:1 NIV

1 What I am saying is that as long as an heir is underage, he is no different from a slave, although he owns the whole estate.

When they are children there is plenty you can do.

Don’t want to brush teeth

You make them

Don’t want to eat anything but Popsicles

Don’t give them

Don’t want to go to church

I had a drug problem too

I was drug to church

But then they become no longer children

What do you do?

NO magical answers. Look at the father of the prodigal son. Look at our father. What does he do.

Stand up for what is right.

You must model it in your life.

Why should they pray if you don’t.

Why should they bible study if you don’t.

Why should they do right if you don’t.

Don’t beat them over the head with the bible, But stand up by Doing. That’s why it is standing up. You can beat them with verses from the chair.

Pray for them

Intercessory prayer is very important. Too often we pray just us. God loves to hear a parents prayers. Even and maybe especially in the midnight hour. When things are at their darkest.

Encourage them in the faith

Love on them. And remind them of the God who loves them. Encourage don’t nag them. If needed help keep them alive that someday like the periodical son they might return. Don’t burn bridges. Do set up boundaries, To protect yourself. But keep them in your life.

And keep them alive.

Live your life according to Christ

Even if you have failed in this in the past. Admit your failure and live according to the teaching of life. Sin has its consequences. You must be transformed by the renewing of the mind. that one day they may see the transformation.

Next Steps

Some of you have children you are worried about

Some of you are raising children

Some of you need to support those who are

Some of you need to help bring the wayward into the right with God

Don’t do it alone

Don’t make mistakes David did

He tried to ignore and let them do what ever

It doesn’t work

pray