No Family is Perfect

Crisis

Tonight, we’re jumping into a brand-new series talking about Family! There are a couple of reasons why this series is important. The first is very straightforward and it’s this: everyone in this room has a family. So, what the Bible has to say about family has relevance to everyone in the room! The second reason is this: nobody’s family is perfect.Some of you might think that you come from the best family in the world and some of you might think that you come from the absolute worst family in the world. Whichever end of that spectrum you’re on, I genuinely believe tonight’s message can speak to you.

Complication

Let’s talk about family for a second. Because the reality is, when I say the world “family,” I have an image that pops into my head And every one of your brains does the same thing—but what’s interesting is that I’ll bet it would be hard to find 2 people in this room (that aren’t related) who have the exact same image pop into their brain when we say the word “family.” Here's why:

- There are single-parent families, there are blended families, there are “nuclear families,” multiple child families, adoptive families, only-child families, immigrant families, families with special needs, the list goes on and on…

- No two families are exactly alike, so we must be careful as we talk about family and think about the design of the family because as we do that, we must understand that everyone is coming to that conversation with a different framework, a different set of assumptions, and a different personal family story that they are living in.

Clue

What I want us to do is turn to the Scriptures and look at a really famous story of a really famous family in the Bible. And one of my goals tonight is for you guys to get a glimpse of this family that you’ve maybe never seen before. As I was prepping for this message, God showed me a ton of new layers to this family and this story that I had never considered and it really opened the story up for me and kind of blew my mind a couple of times.

[PRAY]

Climax

We’re going to be in Genesis 37 tonight and we’re going to be looking at the story of Joseph and his family. Let’s read Genesis 37:1-4:

“Jacob lived in the land of his father’s sojournings, in the land of Canaan. These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was pasturing the flock with his brothers. He was a boy with the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father’s wives. And Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father. Now Israel [Jacob] loved Joseph more than any other of his sons, because he was the son of his old age. And he made him a robe of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peacefully to him.”

Man, these first few verses are like coming back from a long vacation and staring at your suitcase. There’s a lot to unpack here.

I’ve got a whiteboard up here on stage this week and you may have been wondering this whole time, “why does this guy have a whiteboard up there on stage?” This is why. There’s so much going on in really the first couple of sentences in the story of Joseph that I think a visual timeline of this family would be helpful for us.

You’ve got a blank timeline printed out in your notes, for the sake of this message and for future study in the family of Joseph and his brothers, I think this timeline is going to be really beneficial for us.

[START DRAWING TIMELINE ON THE WHITEBOARD]

So, we notice first that Jacob is Joseph’s father. So, we’re going to start with Jacob and chart a bit of a timeline of Jacob’s family and see how the family that Joseph was brought up in was made.

To sum up the drama that happens in Jacob’s family, he stabs his brother in the back (that’s Esau, Joseph’s uncle) and deceives his father (Isaac, Joseph’s grandpappy), all with the help of his mother (Rachel, Joseph’s granny) and then runs away from home because his brother is threatening to kill him.

Sounds like a made for TV movie. It gets worse before it gets better.

Eventually, Jacob ends up marrying 2 sisters who have their own issues with jealousy and rivalry and he has 11 different children with a total of 4 different women. Their family is looking less and less like the “cookie cutter, ideal” model and a lot more like reality TV.

All of this to say, by the time Joseph is born, his father is a man who has been around God a lot and has a vague understandingof God, but God has not really been an active part of his life.

Joseph was born into what would be considered today a “nominally Christian household.”

To put it in modern terms, you can think about it like this: Joseph’s parents’ kind of went to church sometimes but didn’t really have much of a relationship with God.

His brothers were wild.

At one point, this really horrible thing happens to Joseph’s sister and the way that his older brothers decide to handle it is by slaughtering an entire village.

Why is all of this important to mention? Why the whiteboard session giving you all this background context for Joseph’s family? Because…

You learn a lot from your family.

Good, bad, indifferent; you learn a lot from your family, especially from your parents.

Your family is one of your most basic, foundational centers for learning.

Illustration: You learned how to tie your shoes from your family. Everybody try to tie your shoes without using your thumbs.

Not only do you learn functional life skills from your family, but you also learn patterns of behavior and how to relate to the world. Your parents—whether you know it or not—are teaching you day in and day out how to relate to the world. And you—whether you like it or not—probably act a lot like your parents’ act/acted when they were your age.

This is normal and it’s how God designed it. In fact,

God designed your family to be your primary source of discipleship.

That’s why family matters so much.

You’re being discipled by your family one way or another. Joseph’s family story is a sad but honest example of what happens when God is not truly at the center of a family’s discipleship.

Let’s keep reading in Joseph’s story and see what type of behaviors Joseph and his brothers may have learned from their family:

“Now Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him even more. He said to them, ‘Hear this dream that I have dreamed: Behold, we were binding sheaves in the field, and behold,my sheaf arose and stood upright. And behold, your sheaves gathered around it andbowed down to my sheaf,'His brothers said to him, ‘Are you indeed to reign over us? Or are you indeed to rule over us?’ So, they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words,” (Gen 37:5-8).

Notice the sibling rivalry that was present in Jacob & Esau’s relationship and in Leah & Rachel’s relationship is now playing itself out in Joseph and his brothers’ relationship. Eventually, the sibling rivalry escalates to a place in Joseph & his brothers’ life where they’re ready to do the unthinkable:

“They saw him from afar, and before he came near to them tthey conspired against him to kill him....But when Reuben heard it, he rescued him out of their hands, saying, ‘Let us not take his life.’…And they took him and threw him into a pit…. Then Judah said to his brothers, ‘What is it if we kill our brother and conceal his blood? Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites… And his brothers listened to him,” (Genesis 37:18, 21, 24, 26).

The generational sin that’s affecting this family has gotten out of control.

Your family matters a ton and it’s important to begin to recognize how your family affects you. What are you learning from your parents? Inevitably, your family will teach you your basic, core instinct on how to relate to the world around you and how to relate to God.

And here’s the thing that we clearly see in Joseph’s family’s story…

No family is perfect.

Now, after what we just read, that may feel like the understatement of the year.

But here’s the thing, this isn’t a night where you just sit around and compare your family to Joseph’s family and say, “yeah my dad is a lot like that, what a jerk,” or “yeah, this is all my parents’ fault.” And this isn’t a “let’s just bash parents for the mistakes they make” night. That’s definitely not the heart of this sermon.

What’s not helpful when we approach this story—or any part of Scripture—is to read ourselves into the story when the story is not about us. This isn’t a story about your family. But it is a story about a real family that God really did use, despite their shortcomings.

Sure, Joseph’s family was far from perfect, but God was still with them and he still used them, despite their sinfulness and brokenness.

You might say, “how is that even possible?” It’s possible because…

God is present even when we don’t realize it.

God’s faithfulness to us is not dependent on our ability to be faithful to him.

God made a promise to Abraham—Joseph’s great-great-grandfather—to be with this family all the way back in Genesis 12 and then later in Genesis 15. And then he reaffirmed that promise to Jacob many years later.

God appeared to Jacob, Joseph’s father, after he ran away from home and was living in sin:

“I am the LORD, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac your father. The land on which you lie I will give to you and to your offspring…. Behold, I am with you and I will keep you wherever you go…for I will not leave you until I have done what I promised you,” (Gen 28:13-15).

All throughout Jacob’s life, God was working in the background and protecting him and blessing him, despite Jacob’s unworthiness. God did this to demonstrate his great kindness and mercy, not because Jacob was personally awesome or anything. God was present even though Jacob may not have realized it.

This all started because Joseph’s great-great-grandfather Abraham answered God’s call to leave the land of his forefathers and begin to trust in God. Think about the lineage of faith that Abraham passed down to his family.

Practical next step: go home and ask your parents about their testimony. Ask them about their family’s faith story. How did your grandparents’ faith impact your parents?

And the faithfulness of God carried into Joseph’s life, too. After Joseph is sold into slavery, the author of Genesis takes time to point this out to us in chapter 39, verse 2:

“The LORD was with Joseph, and he became a successful man, and he was in the household of his Egyptian master. His master saw that the LORD was with him,” (Gen 39:2-3).

Unfortunately, Joseph’s story again takes a turn for the worse and he winds up wrongfully accused and locked in prison in Egypt. But still God is present even when we would be tempted not to see it, and again the author notes in verse 21:

“But the LORD was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison,” (Gen 39:21).

Guys, no matter what your family situation is, and no matter how imperfect your life may seem to be, and no matter what circumstance you may find yourself in, the LORD has not forsaken you or abandoned you.

[CALL THE BAND UP}

Conclusion

God can use your family.

[BACK TO THE TIMELINE]

Years after Joseph is sold into slavery by his brothers and after quite a few ups and downs, he is eventually put in a position to be 2nd in command in all of Egypt—right behind Pharoah. Talk about an underdog story.

At this point, God has continued to demonstrate his faithfulness and his presence in Joseph’s life and now Joseph has what is by all accounts and active and thriving relationship with God. And God is using him mightily.

Basically, to sum up the story, Pharoah has a crazy dream about cows and fields of grain and purple mountains’ majesty and God tells Joseph what the dream means. The land is going to have a great harvest and then there is going to be a massive famine. God gives Joseph the wisdom to tell Pharoah how to handle the coming famine.

Side note: isn’t it crazy that God chooses to redeem the very thing that started all this drama in Joseph’s story (dreams) to actually fulfill his purposes in Joseph’s life?! God really be like that sometimes.

God can redeem all the broken parts of your family.

And look at the end result of how God used Joseph:

“So, when the famine had spread over all the land… all the earth came to Egypt to Joseph to buy grain, because the famine was severe over all the earth,” (Genesis 41:56-57).

God used Joseph in a mighty way to save countless people, despite the craziness that was Joseph’s family.

And you might say, yeah, but what about his messed-up family? How does God use them? Well, Joseph’s family eventually go on to have children and more children and all those children become the nation of Israel. God used the nation of Israel throughout the Old Testament to bring about his purposes again and again. Ultimately, the nation of Israel continued to survive despite persecution and they preserved God’s chosen line that led to Jesus being born. That’s right, this crazy, insane, HBO mini-series of a family is actually part of Jesus’s family tree.

If God can use Jacob and his sons, if God can use Joseph and his brothers, if God can use the people of Israel, he can use you and he can use your family. And he can redeem even the most broken parts of your family and use it for his purposes in your life. Will you ask him to do exactly that tonight?