What's the big deal?

Introduction

having a better marriage starts with you

you won’t find a spiritual leader if you aren’t leading yourself spiritually.

you won’t find a spouse to help kids follow Jesus if you aren’t helping others follow Jesus more

we talk about this every week, but tonight I want to focus in on one area — sex

Hebrews 13:4 — marriage seems to have fallen on hard times

two parts — what the Bible says/why that’s good + what to do about it

What the Bible says

what the Bible teaches

marriage is a union between a man and a woman for life

marriage is a good thing (Prov. 18:22)

gender is a good thing (Genesis 1-3)

faithfulness is a good thing (Hebrews 13:4b)

sex is something to be enjoyed in the context of marriage

how the Bible says homosexuality is wrong

top 10 google articles will tell you the Bible doesn’t say anything

the case: homosexuality, when referenced, is talking about pedophilia

1 Cor. 6:9 — arsenokoitai

Leviticus 18:22 — arsenos (adult men) koiten (bed/lie)

doesn’t mean that same-sex attracted people are any worse sinners than the rest of us…we all need Jesus. but I do want to teach the truth out of love

what about other sexual activity? sleeping around? cohabitation? fantasy? etc.

the question is not “what can I get away with?

it’s “what makes me more like Jesus?”

Jesus says even lust is sinful

1 Cor. 6:18 — flee from sexual immorality

why it’s good

APA found couples who waited until marriage had more stable relationships, were more satisfied with their marriages, had better sex lives & were better communicators

just about any study can be tinkered to lead to certain results…what about the people you know?

we can readily see how adultery, porn, hookup culture, etc. is harmful. the same goes for areas you can’t quite see how (homosexuality, occasional premarital sex)

why even lust or premarital sex with a future spouse is harmful (forming your heart into sex with someone not your spouse)

campus can’t tell you God’s way is better because none of your friends know what it’s like to be faithfully married for decades

compare the average student to the faithfully married older couple: who’s happier?

compare the person becoming more like Jesus to the person running from God: who’s happier?

The fight for sexual purity, among other things, is a fight for joy.

What we do about it

stats that show we’ve messed up, just about everybody (maybe major, maybe minor)

79% of 18-30 year olds viewed porn at least once a month (including the majority for women, not just men) and would likely be higher for 18-24 year olds

the statistics for Christians are almost exactly the same

“The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are addicted to porn.” — Ted Shimer

only about 10% of college grads today haven’t had premarital sex, and the number is only at about 20% for highly religious groups

“If I had to identify the number-one false god that is ruining the lives of today’s college students, it would have to be the god of [sex].” — Guy Chmieleski

what do we do? is there hope? can our pasts be redeemed?

Matt Chandler story about the rose

2 Timothy 2:19-22

believe the Gospel (v. 19a–the Lord knows those who are his)

take ownership of your sin (v. 19b—turn away from iniquity)

take active steps to run from sexual sin (v. 22a—flee youthful passions)

confess sin to a trusted, mature Christian (v. 22b—together)

get to work for Jesus (v. 21—cleansed of what is unfit, useful to the Master)

Exhortation

Commit tonight to taking your next step to purity.

not going out on Friday nights

confessing porn addiction to a trusted friend/mentor

not sleeping over with your significant other

deleting social media

Run from sin. Run to Jesus.

Hebrews 4:14-16