Love ≠ Love

Introduction

Our world has absolutely lost its mind - but that’s not anything you don’t already know. Confusion seems to be in the headlines every day in some way or another. People in positions of power resemble puppets rather than leaders. Wars that ravage cities and entire countries. Debt accumulating. Inflation skyrocketing. A culture that promotes pride and inclusiveness, yet is more divisive and confused than ever before. A world where we have no moral compass. Common sense is no longer common. Things that used to be givens, like who is a man and a woman is something that is suddenly subjective and undefinable? What is this strange new world coming to?

One of the movements we’ve seen in this strange world in which we live is the redefining of terms and the subjectification of all things. A world in which anyone can be anything. A world where truth is suddenly fluid and to do anything other than following one’s heart is blasphemous. Despite all of this, our culture can’t help itself but still be somewhat familiarized with Scripture. Even in modern Babylon, God’s presence is still present. See, the mottos of 2023 are Judge Not and Love is Love - in other words, “Born This Way” is the ultimate trump card to play in 2023.

The problem with this message is that it will send billions to hell if we’re not careful to actually see what the Bible says about sin, salvation, and the love of God in sending a sin-destroying Savior to seek and save the lost. Love is not love - Christ is love. Instead of saying judge not lest you be judged, try twist not lest you be like Satan. You can say you were born this way, but the Bible says that you must be born again or else you will not enter the Kingdom of God.

Love is not Love | God is Love

Love does not = Love | The Cross = Love

Love is not expressing oneself | Love is Dying to Self

Love is not self love | Love is Self-Sacrifice

Love is not sexual attraction | Love is self denial

Love is not a glamorous pride parade | Love is a wooden cross

Love is not a drag queen | Love is a servant King

Love is not colorful and inclusive rainbow | Love flows crimson red

Love is not born this way | Love died so that we would be born again

Love is not our transcendence to become God | Love is God’s descendance to become man

Love finds you where you are | But Love doesn’t leave you there

Love finds you broken | But Love Makes You Whole

Love doesn’t strive to go up | Love stepped down

Love doesn’t kill to live | Love died so that we could live

FBC Family, the most unloving thing that we can do is to affirm, endorse, and celebrate sin. This world doesn’t get to redefine what a man or woman is. This world doesn’t get to redefine what marriage is. This world doesn’t get to redefine what truth is.

No holding back - we’re standing on God’s Word and today, that means addressing cultural landmines. By God’s grace, though, we’ll make it to the other side because unlike our ever changing culture, our God’s standard and Word never changes! As you preach expositionally through books of the Bible, you can’t avoid hard texts or topics - and that’s what we come to today. Self-love, sex outside of marriage, seeking satisfaction in worldly stuff - let’s dive into God’s Word, because the Lord knows that we desperately need His help to navigate these turbulent waters.

Hebrews 13:1–6 CSB

1 Let brotherly love continue. 2 Don’t neglect to show hospitality, for by doing this some have welcomed angels as guests without knowing it. 3 Remember those in prison, as though you were in prison with them, and the mistreated, as though you yourselves were suffering bodily. 4 Marriage is to be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. 5 Keep your life free from the love of money. Be satisfied with what you have, for he himself has said, I will never leave you or abandon you. 6 Therefore, we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

How does one of the most theologically deep books in the New Testament conclude? With several exhortations, or calls to action, for Christians to live out. Love others. Show hospitality to others. Follow God’s Way. Love Your Spouse. Honor God. Be satisfied in Jesus. These are just a few of the many instructions that will follow. Why do we do these things? Why should we love people that might drive us crazy? Why should we submit to God’s way whenever another way feels better? Why be satisfied with this when we really want that? Here’s why: Because God has YOUR best interest at heart. Christian, God knows best - better than a godless world and better than a finite person with a prone to wander heart. Let’s ask Him to help us seek His will and obey His instruction for His glory and our ultimate good.

Love Others More Than Self (1-3)

What is the first call to action for believers in this final chapter? Love one another. Go back to Hebrews 12:28-29, what is our calling as those who have received this kingdom that will not be shaken? We are to do 2 things, do you remember what they are? Be thankful and serve God acceptably. You might ask, what are some ways that we can serve God acceptably? Enter verse 1 of chapter 13 - love your faith family as brothers and sisters in Christ. How many of us have ever heard someone say, “You don’t have to go to church to be a Christian?” I’ve heard that so many times that I know someone is going to say it before they even say it - you can just tell where they’re headed! In part that statement is true, there are some people who do not physically come to church and they are genuinely saved by grace through faith in Christ because coming to church does not save a single person - likewise, there are some people who do come to church every week but they are not saved because they are not born again… But, what is normative for people who are born again? What are you saved into? You are saved into the body of Christ. You are changed and you are adopted into a family. You should desire to gather with God’s people because this is what God’s Word tells us. We need one another - maybe you think that you don’t because you have your Bible and you’re just fine on your own and you don’t need to sit under the teaching of Scripture and serve inside a local church. Maybe you think that you can love God and read His Word and be just fine on your lonesome self… Consider this: Everyone in our world knows that smoking is bad for your health… but did you know that 56 million Americans smoke/vape regularly and that thousands more are added to that figure on a daily basis? Did you know that most of those additions are teenagers who get started at school? We know the evidence and data that tells us that smoking is bad - we have the information! If information led to transformation, then everything would be ok! All we need is to inform people - this is bad, don’t do it, write this down 100 times and get it into your head and learn this information and everything will be fine. But this isn’t how transformation happens. We are transformed as we learn not from cold stats and figures and words, but as we learn from others. This is the way that God designed things to be and this is why we desperately need a faith family to grow alongside. As we have this family, we are called to love those around us and let this love continue.

How do we demonstrate “philadelphia” or brotherly love to those in our church family? We see several examples in Scripture.

Romans 12:10 CSB

10 Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Take the lead in honoring one another.

One way that we love others is by honoring them - how can we do this? By living out Philippians 2:3-4

Philippians 2:3–4 CSB

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. 4 Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.

We humble ourselves and consider the needs of others as greater than our own. This should be the lifestyle of people in the church! From preferences to potlucks to perspectives, we are to be a people who look out for those around us and humble ourselves along the way not because it is easy, but because it is what Christ did as He humbled Himself in order to save us. We follow in that example and consider others as more important than ourselves and we serve them well. Arguably no better example of this is found in the New Testament than 1 John 3:16 as we find this

1 John 3:16 ESV

16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

This is what genuine love looks like. We follow the example of Jesus and we love others in our church to this level. The only way that this is possible is to remember the love that Jesus showed for us: The key to loving others more than self is to remember that Christ first loved us and gave Himself up for us. Because of what Jesus did, we then love others - and as we love those inside of our church, we celebrate whenever they celebrate and we grieve whenever they grieve. I’ve heard story after story of families inside local churches who could not biologically have children and they’d pray and pray and other people in the church would pray and pray on their behalf. Eventually they’d try to adopt and it would seem like at the last minute the door would close every single time. The couple would grieve, but their church would grieve alongside them - they weren’t in this alone. Fast forward years down the line, and that same couple would finally be able to adopt a little boy or girl, or perhaps one of both or more, and they’d shout for joy only to turn around and hear the roar of their church family rejoicing alongside them. This is what we need in the good days and in the bad days inside the church - we love our church family because we’re in the same body: Whenever one of us suffers, we all suffer. Whenever one of us celebrates, we all celebrate. There is no room for jealousy and pride inside a body that is focused on humility and considering others as more important! This is what the preacher of Hebrews tells this church they must do, and this is what we must do as well. We humble ourselves and we look our for those in our church, and as verse 2 says, those outside our congregation as well! We display hospitality towards all people. This includes people that drive us a little bit crazy - you know why? Because if we’re being honest with one another, we all drive someone a little bit crazy. But do you know what we do? We love one another - as brothers and sisters in Christ, because we’re in the same family and we’re on the same team. We need Jesus to change our hearts because this isn’t natural stuff.

While our world loves to love self, the Bible teaches that we must love others, even strangers. The Old Testament example of entertaining angels is in reference to Genesis 18 as Abraham and Lot showed hospitality to strangers who ended up being angels - this isn’t normative or prescribing to say that we should reasonably expect angels to be coming inside of our homes - but it is to say that Christians don’t always wait to see if its the right time to do what’s right… we do what’s right, we love others, we consider them as more important than self, not because they’re people that we know or great people in the first place, but because it’s the right thing to do. We love others more than we love ourselves and that requires something to happen… We all love self really well, so either we have to learn to love ourselves a whole lot less, or we’d better learn to love others a whole lot more. This isn’t a self-centered love, this is a self-sacrificing love and this is the love that Christ demonstrated for us, and this is the love that we must practice as well.

Love Honor More Than Hormones (4)

So, we love others more than we love self. We love strangers and we love our brothers and sisters in Christ who are suffering. We grieve with them. These aren’t easy things to do… But in our fallen and confused world, these things seem much easier and simpler than what we find in verse 4 as we see that marriage is to be honored and the marriage bed is to be undefiled. Our world does not honor marriage and our world does not treat the marriage bed as anything special. What is marriage? Seriously, you can google this and you’ll find a variety of results and answers but here is one that kept coming up over and over: Marriage is a social and legal institution that formalizes a committed and typically romantic partnership between two individuals. I have no disagreement that marriage is a social and legal institution, but that is not what it is first. Marriage is a sacred institution designed by God. Marriage has social and legal ramifications, sure, but first and foremost, marriage has spiritual ramifications. God’s way doesn’t always line up with the thinking of this world.

Let’s consider the dishonoring of marriage in the 21st century. To many, marriage is nothing more than a document that you sign. Nothing changes. It’s just a contract and if and when you want out, you just get a lawyer to undo the contract and that is that. Think of a contract, say the one that you have with your internet company. You pay the company a set fee each month and, in turn, they agree to provide you with a set speed and amount of internet coverage. You pay the bill, you get the service. It’s a simple contract. But, what happens whenever you forget to pay that bill? Depending on the provider you have, they might give you some grace, or they might just cut the cord. Why would they do this? Because you failed to do what you said you would do. You broke the contract and they have every legal right to refuse you service. What is the danger of treating marriage as a contract? We’re all sinners. We break God’s laws each day. We will break that marriage contract some point or another. So many get married because the person they are marrying makes them happy, what do you do whenever that person makes you upset? If it’s just a contract, we’ll think that it’s just a piece of paper that we can run away from… This isn’t to say that one should never go forward with a divorce, there are Biblical grounds for that, but we’ve seen generation after generation treat marriage as nothing more than a contract and divorce rates between both non-Christians and Christians are eerily similar! Something is wrong here! Here’s the problem: Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. What does that mean? It means that whenever you get married, you are not doing so just to sign a paper and have a legal change of status, you are entering into a covenant between yourself, your spouse, and your Creator. That is why marriage is to be honored - it was ordained and instituted by God! It is so much more than just a piece of paper or a legal change or a contract.

Consider other ways that marriage is not honored. Many people will say that marriage is outdated or a thing of the past and that you can have a committed relationship and raise a family without being married. You can “cohabitate” and all will be fine. That’s not God’s intended purpose for relationships at all! God’s purpose and design is for one man and one woman to be in covenantal marriage with one another for life. That is the goal as laid out in Scripture. To honor marriage is to align with God’s purpose. So many, however, throw honor aside for hormones. Lindsey and I grew up with many people who immediately began to cohabitate after high school and college and they’d start out on fire and things looked like they were going great… but then they’d fizzle. Why? See, cohabitation is on the rise, but did you know that statistically speaking, couples that cohabitate before marriage have a higher likelihood of divorce than couples that don’t? It’s not only that this practice goes against God’s Word, but it’s that God is protecting His people from additional harm by instructing us to honor the union of marriage and not follow the ways of this fallen world. In the Roman world, there was little to no expectation for couples to remain faithful. The idea for a man to not cheat on his wife in this context was seen as insane and weak. The Biblical sexual ethic of honoring one’s spouse and being faithful to them alone was unique 2000 years ago, but this is what God called His people to do then and it is still what He calls on His people to do today. We are called to be pure and this extends to the marriage union between man and woman. In a world that prides itself on sexual immorality, sexual morality stands out! If you want to stand out from a world that idolizes self, celebrates adultery, condemns purity, and champions sexual self expression, stand on the Biblical teaching of sex being reserved for the marriage union, not before marriage and not outside of marriage. Stand on the Biblical teaching of marriage being between one man and one woman for life. Maybe you’re here and you’re genuinely wondering why exactly this is in the Bible - why would God say that the marriage bed and that activity is exclusively to be within the confines of marriage? What is wrong whenever a couple “loves” each other very much and takes that step in their relationship before marriage? That goes against God’s prescription for relationships as that is to be strictly in marriage. See, God designed marriage to protect His people! All who go outside of His design open themselves up for future judgment and present problems. So often we think that we have it all figured out and that going against God’s Word isn’t a big deal in this one area. Or, many will say that marriage is to be between a man and a woman, but they don’t speak nearly as loudly whenever people are dishonoring the marriage bed while not being married. We read in Scripture that those who participate in adultery and those who practice sexual immorality will be judged by God - see, God is protecting His people with this clear cut instruction.

1 Corinthians 6:9–10 ESV

9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Revelation 21:8 CSB

8 But the cowards, faithless, detestable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars—their share will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”

1 Corinthians 6:18 CSB

18 Flee sexual immorality! Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body.

The Bible lists these things as sin - to say that they are not sinful, or to justify them, or to celebrate them is to say that God’s Word has it wrong and the Bible issues a stern warning for that person and that position back in Hebrews 10:26-27

Hebrews 10:26–27 CSB

26 For if we deliberately go on sinning after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, 27 but a terrifying expectation of judgment and the fury of a fire about to consume the adversaries.

Church, this isn’t a good place to be. We must love God and honor marriage the way that He designed it to be rather than giving into hormones and caving into our godless society on this serious issue. God will judge this sin, as He will every sin. If this is where you’re at today, I want to be as straightforward with you as I can be, you’re in trouble. You’re living in open rebellion with the God of the universe and He is a just judge… but through Jesus, there is mercy and forgiveness. Consider 1 Corinthians 6:11

1 Corinthians 6:11 CSB

11 And some of you used to be like this. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

These believers 2000 years ago had a past too. Many of them gave into hormones but they were washed, changed, and saved by Jesus - and that sin no longer is their identity. They were changed by Jesus. They began to honor God’s institution of marriage. They realized that there are genuine problems whenever we depart from God’s design and they came to see things God’s way and they received grace. They started guarding their marriages. They didn’t first look outward and pointing fingers at other people with their problems, they first looked inward and came under conviction… May we do the same today, friends. May we be a people who honor marriage and refuse to give an inch to the allure of adultery and the seduction of sexual immorality. Consider just a few problems that arise whenever we kick God’s plan to the curb

Physical - self harm, uptick in abuse

Mental - guilt, anxiety, and depression

Relational - isolation, hatred, and even murder

Societal - loss of ethics, normalization of abortion

Spiritual - we replace God’s perfect plan for our own fallen one

Again, God is big enough to turn bad into good - I’m living proof of that as I was conceived in “sexual immorality” and saved not only physically but spiritually by God. This doesn’t give us permission to violate God’s Word, though. We must love what God loves and honor what God sets up. This will make you stand out in a strange world… but this strange world doesn’t have the authority to change God’s Word or redefine what God has set up. Real love loves God and His way more than the way of this fallen world, even if it “feels” right at times.

Love Your Savior More Than Your Stuff (5-6)

We keep stepping on landmines this morning - self-centeredness, sexual immorality and pride… now what do we arrive at? The temptation to find satisfaction in the stuff this world sells us. Think of some of the “stuff” this world tries to sell us in terms of promising satisfaction:

Money

Relationships

Cars/Trucks

Boats/Campers

Vacations

Now, how would you feel if you were to lose those things? Probably not the best! Early Christians were always at risk of losing earthly possessions simply due to their faith in Jesus. Homes, businesses, livestock, even their life!

These Christians had likely lost earthly possessions due to their faith in Jesus - Hebrews 10:34

Hebrews 10:34 CSB

34 For you sympathized with the prisoners and accepted with joy the confiscation of your possessions, because you know that you yourselves have a better and enduring possession.

They had been persecuted and lost much in the eyes of the Kingdom of Man… but they weren’t living as citizens of this world, they had something better in mind. Consider the difference of mindset from a non-Christian to a Christian whenever it comes to the things of this world satisfying our need. Billy Graham once was once invited to meet with a very wealthy man who was staying on an island in the Caribbean. The man was 75 years old and had chased the things this world says to chase, and by most accounts, he had not only achieved those things but done so successfully. This is what he told Billy Graham, “I own a large yacht, a plane, and a multiple helicopters. I can go anywhere I want to go and do anything that I want to do. I have everything needed for happiness, but I’m the most miserable man on this island.” Fast forward a few hours, and they returned to the inn they were staying at and a local pastor walked in in order to take care of his 2 sisters who were also staying there and in need of constant care. He said, “I don’t even have 2 pounds to my name, but I’m the happiest man on this island. I have a family that loves me. I have a Savior who died for me. I have a church family that supports me.” Billy Graham walked out and asked his wife, Ruth, who was the richer man? Neither had to answer the question, because they both knew the answer. Church, the stuff of this world will never satisfy our heart. Those who love money and chase after the stuff of this fragile and temporary world will always leave disappointed and empty… but those who know their Savior know true satisfaction. Look at verse 5, as a Christian this is your hope: Jesus says that He will never you or forsake you or abandon you. He promises to always be with you - doesn’t that sound an awful lot like Psalm 23?

Psalm 23:1 CSB

1 The Lord is my shepherd; I have what I need.

Psalm 23:4 NASB95

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

God has given us what we have - therefore, we have all that we need because God knows exactly what we need! We don’t have to be afraid of tomorrow or of this or that because our God knows, sees, and answers. He satisfies! We can trust that He will come through

1 Peter 5:7 CSB

7 casting all your cares on him, because he cares about you.

Because God does satisfy, provide, and care for us, what must we do? Trust in Him. Keep our life free from the love of money. We use what God has given us in order to advance His Kingdom and worship Him and trust in Him. One of the ways that we put this love for our Savior into action is by giving back to Him what He has given to us! See, He gives to us with a purpose: So that we would worship Him and give back to Him because all that we have is from Him as the parable of the Talents tells us in Matthew 25. All that we have is from the Lord - we can’t love the gift above the giver, but this is what so many people do! They’re tempted to love what God gives them more than God Himself and whenever we do this we demonstrate a fundamental flaw. Those who don’t give demonstrate that they don’t trust in Christ. This is serious stuff! Greed and an elevation of the gift above the giver is a characteristic of one who doesn’t know the radical grace offered by Jesus Christ! That might not make full sense in a godless world because in our world financial status and security is all the rage… but the facts of Scripture are always better than the fads of society. The fact of being found in Christ is greater than the feeling of having all that this world has to offer. The fact of having the Lord as your helper is greater than possessing things that are unable to help you on the last day. If you truly want to be satisfied, stop looking at worldly stuff. The secret to satisfaction is contentment in Christ.

Being content with what Christ has given you. Not chasing after the Jones’ but being faithful with your 5 talents or your 3 talents or 10 talents to make a Kingdom investment and trusting that Jesus is with you as your helper and will provide what you need. God is the covenant keeping God. We can trust in Him. Many people love stuff - but stuff won’t save… and stuff burns up. Stuff can be lost in the blink of an eye. Don’t fall in love with money or earthly stuff that won’t satisfy, because Jesus says that we can’t serve 2 masters. We can’t say that we love Him and in the same breath live our life as a slave to the corporate grind of getting all that we can, canning all that we get, and sitting on that corporate can. That isn’t satisfaction. That isn’t contentment. There is no joy and happiness in those things. God has something better in store for His people - we love Him first! We trust that He will supply our need - not our greed (Matthew 6:33-34).

Love is more than 4 letters. It’s more than a physical action. It’s more than a hashtag or slogan. Love is best shown with a cross! We’ve looked at 3 ways that we can demonstrate Christ-centered love in a fallen, self-centered world. Maybe you’re here though and you’re asking the question, “Why?” Why should we do these 3 things? Why not go with the flow? Here’s why: Jesus is Greater. His Way is Better!

Jesus offers something greater than the fleeting pleasure of sin and the allure of seduction. Jesus brings about eternal satisfaction and contentment that this world can’t touch. His love is a fulfilling love. His love is a perfect love. His love is an enduring love. He holds His people fast and as we stand on His Word, though we will be mocked and ridiculed, we can stand in confidence knowing that Jesus is Enough. He is our Helper. I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

Love Jesus - Love Your Neighbor - Love Your Church - Love the Word - Love What You Have… And on the last day, hear these 2 words: Well Done