Ecclesiastes 4:9 Wedding Homily

Teamwork. Something that is important to success. No championship group can exist without it, it would seem. There are fewer individual sports than team sports. Halle has always been a Phillies fan for as long as I can remember. And Nick is the youngest person I know to own Philadelphia Eagles’ season tickets. You both like team sports.

Of the best teams in any sport, all the members work together for a common goal. No great team can achieve the desired outcome without each person doing their part.

Marriage is no different. Successful marriages depend on a husband and wife working together, complementing each other in all facets: work, rest and parenting.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 talks about teamwork. And Ephesians 5:31 mentions it as well: “For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh.”

Nick and Halle, as you come together today to profess your vows and become husband and wife, the Scripture you have chosen has much to say about the unity and oneness God affords you.

Verse nine tells us that “two are better than one.” Certainly if you felt that you could live your lives better apart, you would do so. But God has placed the two of you in each others’ paths, not by chance, but by His design. You come to this day because you feel that you are better off together, rather than apart.

Certainly the passage teaches that more can be accomplished with two. Each of you are there to help the other. You are together to provide warmth and shelter to one another. This is done emotionally and physically, but most important, spiritually. Jesus said: “What God has joined together, let not man put asunder.

And yet there will be temptations from the world and from the devil to pull the two of you apart. Marriage takes hard work to keep the union healthy. Division is the natural inclination. Just as a garden does not grow well without tending and weeding it, so God’s grace will be needed to secure a successful union.

How is this done? By sacrificing what you feel entitled to, for the sake of a healthy marriage. This is done by both of you, as an act of service to God, and one another. I ask a couple who had been married over 25 years: “What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in your marriage?”

Many respond: “Self-sacrifice. Take self out of the equation.” Marriage is one of those equations where you gain more, by taking something away. Nick and Halle, your wants, your desires, your needs are secondary to the good of your family. The two of you make a family. Instead of cleaving to self, you cleave to one another. This is why the Apostle Paul quotes Genesis 2 in saying:

“For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh.”

The verb in the Greek for cleave is literally means to glue to. It is impossible for a piece of wood to be independent, when something is glued to it.

The hope of your marriage rests on God. He has given you this wonderful day, and so give Him your lives and your marriage. Your bond is only as strong as your bond with God. This is why Paul states in Ephesians 5:25:

“Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself up for her….”

The poem “Marriage” by Ruth Harms Calkin speaks eloquently about the teamwork and devotion to God that is necessary for a successful marriage.

It’s rough. It’s tough. It’s work.

Anybody who says it isn’t

Has never been married.

Marriage has far bigger problems

Than toothpaste squeezed

From the middle of the tube.

Marriage means…

Grappling, aching, struggling.

It means putting up

With personality weaknesses

Accepting criticism

And giving each other freedom to fail.

It means sharing deep feelings

About fear and rejection.

It means turning self-pity into laughter

And taking a walk to gain control.

Marriage means…

Gentleness and joy

Toughness and fortitude

Fairness and forgiveness

And a walloping amount of sacrifice.

Marriage means…

Learning when to say nothing

When to keep talking

When to push a little

When to back off.

It means acknowledging

“I can’t be God to you-

I need Him, too.”

Marriage means…

You are the other part of me

I am the other part of you.

We’ll work through it

With never a thought of walking out.

Marriage means…

Two imperfect mates

Building permanently

Giving totally

In partnership with a perfect God.

Marriage, my love, means us!