Caring for the Family

Intro: What does a community look like that really lives what it believes? What does it really look like to live like a family and care for one another? 1 Timothy 5 addresses this. It doesn’t address every group in the church, and actually far from it. There’s some issues going on, so Paul is going to encourage Timothy here with instructions for these groups of people. And with that, we get a glimpse of how we are to shepherd and love as God’s people, His redeemed people. Because we have been redeemed in our greatest need, we should look to serve those in greatest need in the church and in our world.

CTS: Because we are God’s people, the church should be diligent in caring for the neediest of those with us and around us.

The church has always led the way in matters of philanthropy and kindness to widows, to the poor, to children, to the suffering, the wounded and those who are treated harshly by life.

Authentic Christianity (3), 250

David Martyn Lloyd-Jones

The Christian is called to radical love, and the church is to look and act in radical ways when it comes to taking care of others. We see this in Rom 12:9-12

Romans 12:9–12 ESV

9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Paul tells Timothy beginning in chapter 5 how to address and deal with certain groups within the church. When the church establishes itself in these principles, it will fulfill its commands to love one another as Christ commanded us. This in essence is the “rubber meets the road” instructions of the church for Timothy and the church at Ephesus.

I. Encourage All Generations (1-2)

A. Fathers and mothers

Timothy has this high and mighty task, one that is requiring some strong rebuke and attention to false teaching within the body. Remember he is to guard the gospel, as do the other elders of the church. He has to use strong commands of rebuke when a false teaching infiltrates the church. False teachers have no room within the people of God.

But here is also to deal with those within the body that are older than him in a particular way. These are not people who are teaching false gospels. These are truly born-again believers within the church. Its no surprise coming after the command to not let anyone despise his youth. How was he supposed to counter that? By living a godly and as an example for the believers.

God gives clear instructions to the Israelites this principle in Lev 19:32. “You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God; I am the LORD.”

To honor those of an older generation is to fear the LORD.

Now in the NT, Timothy and other leaders are called to encourage, not rebuke the older generations within the church. Now, this doesn’t mean that Timothy may not have to tell someone in the church that what they are doing is wrong. But he must do it in such a way that is honorable and with respect. To help lead the church, he must treat the members as family, as the older generations as fathers and mothers. Listening, encouraging, seeking counsel and wisdom from older Christians, helping and shepherding well the flock.

B. Brothers and sisters

But not only the older, but he is also to treat with respect those close to his age. He is not to come off as haughty or better than others of his age group, but to truly see them as brothers. As brothers, they are to continue to fight this spiritual battle on the front lines, encouraging one another and bearing each other’s burdens. Taking up arms together and taking each other’s arms and carrying one another when the other is weak.

Timothy is also to respect and honor his sisters in Christ, in purity. This is that indication unlike the relationships that the secular and pagan society around them, he was to maintain pure relationships. He was to be above reproach. This isn’t to mean that all women are just temptresses for Timothy, but rather, in order to be above reproach, he must make sure that his own heart was pure and undefiled as he loved his fellow sisters in Christ. The command is to Timothy here. Respect and honor toward his sisters in Christ, to encourage their spiritual walk by the means of keeping him and them pure as they seek to honor Jesus.

II. Take Care of Your Physical Family (3-8)

A. The Scripture’s insistence on caring for widows

First, Paul tells Timothy that command to honor widows. That’s the theme for the rest of this section. But let’s see how God views widows throughout Scripture.

Exodus 20, 5th command: Honor your father and your mother.

Exodus 22:22–23 ESV

22 You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. 23 If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me, I will surely hear their cry,

Deuteronomy 10:18 ESV

18 He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing.

Jesus’ heart for widows: (Luke 7:11-15 - READ THIS TEXT FROM BIBLE),

Luke 21:1–3 ESV

1 Jesus looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the offering box, 2 and he saw a poor widow put in two small copper coins. 3 And he said, “Truly, I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them.

The early church’s insistence on caring for widows: Acts 6:1-6

Acts 6:1–6 ESV

1 Now in these days when the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint by the Hellenists arose against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. 2 And the twelve summoned the full number of the disciples and said, “It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables. 3 Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty. 4 But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.” 5 And what they said pleased the whole gathering, and they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit, and Philip, and Prochorus, and Nicanor, and Timon, and Parmenas, and Nicolaus, a proselyte of Antioch. 6 These they set before the apostles, and they prayed and laid their hands on them.

Widows in Scripture

Tamar in Genesis 38 - though a particularly sinful situation in which she is denied part of family, denied as a kinsman redeemer, and sleeps with her father in law, Judah, in order to carry on the line, she becomes part of the line of Christ.

Naomi and Ruth - Naomi is made a widow, along with her daughter-in-law Ruth. She insists on being called Mara (bitter), feels as though she has lost everything, in famine. But she becomes full when Boaz marries the widow Ruth and has a child with her, fulfilling his role as kinsman redeemer. This is when she holds her grandson (Ruth 4:13-17)

Ruth 4:13–17 ESV

13 So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. And he went in to her, and the Lord gave her conception, and she bore a son. 14 Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a redeemer, and may his name be renowned in Israel! 15 He shall be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age, for your daughter-in-law who loves you, who is more to you than seven sons, has given birth to him.” 16 Then Naomi took the child and laid him on her lap and became his nurse. 17 And the women of the neighborhood gave him a name, saying, “A son has been born to Naomi.” They named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David.

Obed, the grandfather of David, which gets us to Jesus!

The insistence of God’s caring for these widows are but just a few in Scripture, but as you see, it leads to redemption. They are an important part of God’s plan. We carry on caring for widows in the church, knowing God can and will use them for his redemptive purposes in our world.

B. The first place of provision: family

So now we come to the command for Timothy and the church.

The first place of care for a widow is in their own physical family. Paul is giving exhortation to Timothy and to the church in general that it is the physical family that needs to take care of its own first. This fulfills what God already intends in the 5th commandment. This is an act of honor. As father and mothers sacrificially gave for us as we grew up, we need to take care of our parents, particularly in a situation of widows.

There are those widows that must be taken care of in the church, and they meet here particular qualifications:

1. All alone (no family)

2. Puts her hope in God (spiritually reborn)

3. Lives in prayer for others constantly (living spiritually)

These things help set the guidelines for the church, to make sure that this task of provision is directed to their own first. This doesn’t eliminate helping others outside the church, but rather, gives these widows first importance within the body. These are members of the church who have no one else to turn to. They should be addressed and cared for.

Paul then makes this very bold and strong stance: This taking care of your own family is so important that if we are to neglect family, we are worse than unbelievers. This strong rebuke may serve as a wake up call for the church. They were letting their own family members be neglected and pushed the responsibility on the church when they were fully capable themselves of taking care of their widows in their own extended family. This sent a message to the world around them. No claim could be made that Christians didn’t even take care of their own family, so why should we listen to them? This is great application for us, a kingdom mindset. This is our witness to the world.

III. Take Care of Your Spiritual Family (9-15)

A. Qualifications for enrolling widows in the church (9-13)

60 years old (general guideline for those days). No doubt, there was principle here that at this time, people generally became not as self-sufficient. Today, people live longer, so the church must assess general principle of when it become unviable for a widow to get married and continued to be sustained.

A one-man woman: Faithfully married to the man she had. She was an example to others in how she loved her husband.

Reputation for good works: brought up children (physically and spiritually), was one that cared and showed hospitality to others in home and in life, washed the feet of saints (servant attitude), cared for those in need, devoted to the works that God has called every Christian for.

All of these qualifications are helping the church make decisions to care for those that sacrificially gave for them. She loved her church family, we love her and serve her when the time comes. This isn’t meant to come off as we only serve our own, but it helps others to see the loving community of believers, a testimony to the world of both her life and the life of the church.

Warnings against young widows who have abandoned the faith

Drawn from Christ: This section seems to be Paul warning against supporting widows who have abandoned the faith. These are those that are widows, but apparently, have bought into the false teaching of the day. And they may have been continued to be supported by the church, even though they are in cohort with a sinful lifestyle, marrying unbelievers.

Gossips: These abandoned faith younger widows were also apparently causing issues with gossip in the church. Because she is physically able and being supported by the church, instead of spiritually building up the church, she is tearing it down by going house to house. Maybe they were criticizing and tearing own the leadership of Timothy alongside the false teachers. Because they didn’t have to work, they had plenty of time to do useless and gossip work.

This isn’t a text saying all young widows do this, but rather, a warning that supporting young widows can lead to this. Fully able to work or to remarry, they instead take advantage of the church.

B.Exhorting younger widows (14-16)

So instead, young widows should get remarried if possible and continue to live a godly Christian life of loving and raising up children. Does this mean that every widow 30 to 40 years old should get remarried as a command? I don’t believe so. If it happens to be so that the woman can take care of herself and her children well, and the church can help supplement her, this is good. The idea though is of younger women who become idle by completely relying on the church and see no need try to provide for herself and her family. She becomes lazy and idle and perpetuates gossip.

Conclusion: The idea here is general guidelines of how we should support one another. We should be people that back up our call to take care of the hurting and the ones in need of support. This gives us principles. Though this may not be a grand exhortative text to the doctrines of God’s omniscience and the wonders of the redemptive work of Christ, it is a clear and convicting command to the Christian and the church. Because you have been saved and redeemed, and you have been made a family, live this way.

How we treat the ones who are in greatest need in our midst reflects what we believe about Jesus. When we were at our neediest, could not do anything to support or redeem ourselves, Jesus came to save and provide our every need in saving us through His incarnation, perfect and sinless life, sacrificial death, resurrection, and ascension. His care for the outcast is clear throughout his ministry. God’s care for the widow and orphan throughout the Bible is clear. And as He used widows to carry out his incredible redemptive plan, God will continue to use the widows in our midst to love and serve the body in every way, and we should serve them as they served us.

This is the Gospel in real life. This is shepherding for Timothy and elders/leaders in church. The church is not to be divorced from real life, in ivory towers of doctrine with no care for how it affects how we live and treat others. Let us take these grand truths about God and live them out in our good works towards one another, as family.