Christ-Centered Marriage (Eph. 5:22-33)

So where in the book of Ephesians chapter 5 we're coming to the the end of the letter and end just by way of introduction. I want you to think about what we're going to talk about the subject of marriage here in a fusion5. It's very famous passage in Ephesians 5 on marriage one of the the highlights of the Bible on marriage. In fact, I often read it when I do weddings and talk through and what I want to focus on though is the letter of Ephesians that Paul wrote to the church. He really meant it to be read in one sitting to the church at least for the original audience in Ephesus. And what we've done is broken it up into 14 weeks and in doing so it can become very easy to lose sight of the the big picture the overall picture of what what Paul is getting at and so rather than just do a sort of topical message on Mare What I really want to do is ask the question. Why did Paul turn to marriage in chapter 5 after all of the rest of his discussion. So it's a little bit more of a specific question that we're trying to answer this morning about what it means for. Our marriage is to be christ-centered. So I'm not going to give you 10 tips for you know, how to make your marriage better, you know date your wife. That's a good one husband's but I'm not going to that's not what this is going to be about this going to be about in the context of Paul's argument. Why does he turn to marriage and say what he says about marriage? And what's amazing is in the context of speaking about marriage? He reveals one of the most beautiful pictures of the Lord Jesus Christ and the church saying that the church is the bride of Christ something that we should consider. Very precious that Christ is so devoted to us. He is so committed to us that he considers us his bride. What an incredible thought? Well, let's read here the passage before us chapter 5 beginning and verse 22 wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church his body and is himself. It's savior now as the church submits to Christ. So also wives should submit in everything to their husbands husbands. Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that you might be. Holy and without blemish in the same way a husband should love their wives as their own flesh. Has their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes. It just as Christ does the church because we're members of his body there for a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However Let each one of you love his wife is in self and let the wife see that she respects her husband. So this passage is familiar to many of us and it's really coming on the heels of what he had said in verse 21 that we're submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ and this submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ is really a modification of what it means in verse 18 to be filled with the spirit. So the command way back in verse 18 is be filled with the spirit. And one of the ways that Spirit filling is manifested is submitting to one another in the appropriate relationships. And so we see in chapter 5 and into chapter 6 what these appropriate relationships are in the household he starts with wife saying wives submit to your husbands and then he says 6:1 children. Obey your parents in the Lord and then 6:5 bondservants. Obey your Earthly masters with fear and trembling and a sincere heart as you would Christ. So in these household relationships of husbands and wives and parents and children and what they had in their Roman culture of Masters and slaves. There was a order of authority and submission that was embedded in the household family. And what Paul is saying here is that when we submit to one another out of reverence for Christ in our divinely ordered relationships? We actually are manifesting Spirit filling. It's an act of worship and it brings glory to God in Christ. And so our marriages are really not about us ultimately there about the glory of Christ, which is why by the way, I haven't made a big deal of it throughout the series but the overall summary of the book of Ephesians is the glory of Christ in The Community of Faith. This is remember that in chapter 1 the church is exhibit a of everything God is doing the sum up all things in Jesus. And so what it means to be filled with the spirit if we go back to 5:15 what it means to walk wise in a wise man or rather than foolish is to submit to one another and divinely ordered relationships in the one we want to talk about right now is husbands and wives. Ephesians provides a radical Christian understanding of marriage as one flesh relationship going back to Genesis and it mirrors Christ marriage to his bride the church. It all to mately points to what I just said. The father is summing up all things in Jesus things in heaven and things on earth and one of the things on earth that's being summed up in Jesus is our marriage is marriage is much more than just about us. It's about the glory of Christ. And when we understand that in our marriages then we begin to serve and love one another in the way that God designed and we find more contentment and human flourishing in our marriages. Then when we forget that why do marriages get into trouble while there's lots of reasons marriage is get into trouble but I would say one of the major ways when people come to me to talk about marriage counseling is they've got in their eyes off of Jesus and they put their eyes directly on themselves and they say I'm not happy. I'm not getting what I want. I'm not satisfied. I'm frustrated. I'm angry. It's all about me me me. And there's no faster way to ruin relationships then to make it about me. Make it about yourself and soap. All here is saying this is in the car. This is bigger than just marriage advice. This is in the context of the church in the context of worship in the context of spirit filling and walking and wisdom in this life. And all of it points to what God is doing to sum up all things in his son. So even our marriage has become a witness of what God is doing in Jesus to transform and make all things new. And that's incredible. When you think about our marriages that when the world looks at us and they see our marriages. They would see a picture in a reflection of the Gospel. That's a little intimidating to be honest. I might be content to sale or just give me a happy marriage right? Just let me live in peace and he says no no, no. I'm not only going to do that. I'm going to make your marriage a picture of the Gospel in such a way that when the world looks at your marriage. They want to say why is your marriage different? Why is your marriage countercultural? They don't use that word what they say is why is your marriage working in mine isn't? Was not cuz we're so great or were so wise it's because of Jesus. He makes all the difference in the world.

Well, let's get into this gospel motivated wives verses 22 to 24. Maybe one of the most hated verses in our English Bibles in our generation wives submit to your own husbands as unto the Lord. And this idea of submission to Authority our culture hates it. It's not just wives hating to submit the husband's we don't want to submit to governing authorities. We don't want to submit to those who are over us in the workplace. We don't like submission. Why? Our culture has decided that submission. equals inferiority But if you have authority you must be superior and if you are submitting then you must be inferior. The other thing our culture does is says well as Authority is equal to tyranny. There is no such thing as good as Thora T. Our culture says all the Thor t must be bad and so we would never submit to it. That we have good reason to distrust some of the authorities in our life, don't we? We not we very much may not be happy with Romans 13 governing authorities where Paul says submit to governing authorities and we look at our governing authorities and say Well, they're either grossly incompetent or incredibly evil. And why would we submit? Now we might think we have an out but when you think about Paul writing to the Romans who lived in Rome? Just a reminder they lived in Rome in the 60s. Not the 1960s the sixties ad 60s. And guess who was the emperor of Rome in the sixties good old Nero. And Paul is saying submit to governing authorities. Okay. Well, maybe we don't have an excuse because Nero was a whole lot worse than any of our governing authorities. So this idea of submission? Is incredibly opposed to our culture. But when we see this word submit be subject to or submit yourself to your own husbands as to the Lord we see that this submission is voluntary first. It's not achieved by breaking the will nor by forcing action. You see that it's directed to the wives not the husband's husbands are never commanded to exercise Authority in the Bible can't find a verse wives submit to your husbands. It's voluntary. Seconds, we see that men and women have equal dignity. So it's not an inferiority thing to submit both are created in the image of God back in 4:24. He says that you put on the new self created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and Holiness both men and women and we see this is the consistent testimony of scripture that men and women are equal but they're created in the image of God that we are saved the same way by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone. There's not a different way of salvation. Paul says that because we're in Christ to the Galatians. There is neither male nor female. It doesn't mean the distinctions are erased. It means that there is no difference in our access to God as men and women. So we have to understand this big picture to say, what is Paul meaning when he means submit. Will God has given different roles to men and women and God has appointed these roles for his glory in the marriage and to Proclaim his gospel to the world turned over to Philippians chapter 2.

Philippians 2:5 have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus who though he was in the form of God did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped but emptied himself by taking the form of a servant being born in the likeness of men and being found in human form. He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that's above every name so that the name of Jesus every knee should bow in heaven and on Earth and under the Earth and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father. this famous passage about the Incarnation and hearing the motive of the Eternal Son of God who didn't consider equality with God a thing to be grasped in used for his own Advantage so Jesus,

The incarnates son before he was named Jesus was the Eternal son who was forever with the father in the beginning was the word and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He's equal to God we heard it in Paul's language here. He's equal and yet what does he do? He submits and what Philippians 2 teaches us is that price of admission to the father does not mean that he's somehow inferior or deserves less honor and Glory why because he's highly exalted and given the name that's above every name that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow and every tongue confess that he's lord of the glory of God the father. So this submission of Jesus to the father in the Incarnation. Is not because he's inferior know he's equal but because he had been given a role to accomplish in the Plan of Salvation to die in our place and to be buried in the rise again in to bring us new life and what Paul is teaching here in Philippians is that it is just as God like to submit as it is to exercise Authority. So women never think. That submission means you're inferior. This is in the context of a husband-wife relationship that women are to submit notice that he says submit to your own husbands. He's not telling women to submit to every man on the planet. That's not what this is teaching and that's not what the Bible teaches but rather wives are to submit to their own husband. And he gives us the motive turn back to a fusions want you to see this with your eyeballs. I don't know why that's more visceral to say eyeball than eyes. I don't know why. Patience 5:22 wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord Jesus.

So here's the motive. It's a gospel motive wives as you submit to your husbands really the one you're submitting to as the Lord Jesus because he's the one has commanded this. This doesn't mean that what Paul getting at is not it doesn't mean that you submit just like you would submit to Jesus. That's not what Paul is saying Paul saying the motive of your submission to your husband's. Is it really you're submitting to Jesus when you do so it's the same motive when in all of our relationships when we submit to governing authorities Paul in Romans 13, if if we were to go there he's saying the reason you submit the governing authorities is because God has appointed him and your ultimate least admitting to God.

So be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord Jesus. Why verse 23 your husband is your god ordained head? For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church his body and is himself. It's savior now mail headship complementarianism is is not merely a construct of this world. It came before the fall. It was the way God intended things to be he called it very good when he created men and women and the word head here as husbands are head of the wife. It's not establishing sexist chauvinistic stereotypes instead. What is he compared to the Lord Jesus Christ headship of the church So if if we're looking at marriages and we're saying old for a husband to be the head the leader then it's some sort of new I spit in my den and and I watch my football in my wife brings me a frosty beverage. And make sure the dishes are clean out of the sink. That's not what Paul is talking about here. That might be what some of you men want. But that's not what Paul is talking about what he saying. Is he saying you want to see what headship looks like. Oh, you better look at how Jesus is the head of the church? That's what headship looks like.

Price displays his headship by loving the church and giving himself up for the church. He himself as the savior of the church now husbands are not the savior of their wives. So that analogy is not 141.

Husbands who do not leave their wives who are not the head are abandoning their god-given role and in my experience abdication is far more common than domination in marriage is but domination happens and it's ugly and it's sinful when husbands act like tyrants. Headship, let me just say this husband's headship is more about controlling yourself or your own nature than it is about controlling your wives. It's not about controlling your wives and exercising Authority. Like I said, there's no command to exercise Authority in scripture over your wives rather. It's a voluntary submission of the wives to their husband knowing that ultimately I'm submitting to the Lord Jesus Christ and it's an act of worship and act of being Spirit-filled for his glory. and he concludes in verse 24 wives that your model of submission is to look to the church. Now the church as the church submits to Christ. So also wives should submit in everything to their husbands again. It's not a 14-1 analogy. There's a difference between the church's submission to Christ and wives your submission to your own husband the husband as I said is not the wife's savior, but how is the church a model well because the church is submission to Christ is is free and voluntary Atlas turn back to chapter 1 of Ephesians. I want to walk through this a little bit slowly 1:22. He the father put all things under his the son's feet and gave him his head over all things to the church. So Jesus is the head of the church. The father is but everything under the feet of Jesus and Jesus is the head of all things and it's for the benefit of the church 1:22 the church gladly submits to Christ headship to his ruling Authority turn over to 3:17.

So that Christ May dwell in your hearts through faith and that you being rooted and grounded in love may have strength to comprehend with all the saints. What is the breath in length than height and depth and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled with all the fullness of God as the church is part of the body of Christ submitting to Christ rule the church experiences Christ presents settling down and being at home in their hearts dwelling in their hearts by faith and his love knowing how high and wide and deep and long This Love Of Christ is the church then receives gifts from Christ 4:7 but Grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift. And when we receive these gifts it enables the church to grow into maturity and then the church responds 5:19. With gratitude addressing one another in Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs singing and making Melody to the Lord Jesus with your heart giving thanks always and forever ething to God the father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. This is how Christ is the head of the church and how we is the church submit to our Savior and that picture Is the motive for wives to submit to husbands? And it says verse 24 that they submit in everything meaning generally every area of life. This is because wives your one flesh with your husband, it's also not conditional on his loving you. That's a hard one, isn't it? It's easy to submit when someone loves us and we're convinced they have our best interests in mind. It's hard to submit when trust is broken when things are difficult and more on that in a little while. But it doesn't mean that wives you submit to your husband's when they ask you to send. We can't use this phrase submit to your husbands in all things to undo what he had taught in the previous four chapters in the book. This is why I wanted to ask the question. Why did Paul play Mary cheer in chapter 5?

This phrase has to agree with everything Paul previously taught about not using your words as weapons, but instead building up being kind hearted to one another tenderhearted forgiving one another just as Christ forgave you. All of the the life of chapter 4 and walking in a manner worthy of the calling with which you been called. Paul says now here in the context of marriage you have an opportunity to do so. To live this out. This person that you're closer to than anyone else in the world. The gospel can transform that relationship and make new that relationship.

Now gospel motivated husband's verse 25 husbands. Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Love your wives as Christ loved the church. Wow. Again, we cannot love our wives in exactly the same way as the Lord. Jesus has loved us. He's God and he's perfect. But Christ is your model of Love husband's Christ gave himself up for the church 5:2. He took the initiative. It's a sacrificial self-giving love.

That's what it means to lead. Is to initiate with love sacrificially giving of yourself Christ is the foundation of Your Love verse 25 we love because he first loved us husbands. Love your wives as Christ loved the church WIll. Guess what husbands are part of the church and Christ loves you. An incredible way. Oh that you would know how high and wide and deep and long. The love of Christ is that you'd be filled with all the fullness of God. And when you say how do I love my wife? How can I love her will look to Christ? How did he love us? Then we have a model. He's not only the model. He's the the foundation we cannot love. unless we have been love that's 1st John 4. We love because he first loved us.

But the goal then of our love it must be the same as Christ goal. He Paul goes on to a rabbit Trail here. He gives the command of husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church. Everybody really wants to get the Christ in the church until he goes down a rabbit Trail verse 26 project Christ might sanctify her the church. He's not talking about husbands and wives anymore. He switched to Jesus and the church and this is incredibly profound. That he Jesus Christ might sanctify her the church having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish. What an incredible incredible teaching this is that the Lord Jesus loved us the church in such a way that he is going to take us and present us to himself. And I think in the presence of God the father if we go back to chapter one where God chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world that we would be what holy and blameless in his presence now here in chapter 5 Paul says the Lord Jesus is watching us with the water of the word that he might present us the church. Before his own presence, holy and blameless. You see the connection. This is what Jesus is doing and Paul can't help but think about we are caught up in the plan of God. And the spirit is filling us back to 5:18. The spirit is filling Us in such a way that this is happening through the ministry of the word of God just like we're doing right now looking at the word. Jesus is going to present us. It's not an option. It's not a maybe it might happen. If we do some good things know. This is his plan and he's going to La Push it now we have good things were to do as a result of that. That's why he gets into wives and husband, but what a motive What an incredible motive to think this is how Jesus has loved us. Of course. This is how we ought to love others. Of course. But isn't it easy to forget? It's easy to forget.

Husbands your goal should be to enable your wife to know the fullness of God's grace in Christ in her life. If we're to love our wives in this way, it would be that we are we're not the ones who are responsible to sanctify her. That's Jesus sanctifying us the church. And that word sanctify means to set apart to God for his service. But just as Christ washed us with the water of the word the gospel and Sanctified us and is in the process of sanctifying us by the spirit husband's you must be utterly committed to the total well-being, especially the spiritual welfare of your wives. Presenting her to himself and Splendor. This is at the second coming the Lord. Jesus is going to gather up the church and he's going to present her in all her glory to the father. Here on Earth the church is not always Exquisite is it? It's not always in splendor and Glory John Stott and his commentary says often the church is in rags and tatters stained and ugly despised and rejected. We're often accused rightly of shortcomings and failures, but it won't always be this way because the Lord Jesus is more committed to the church than you are. I ever will be. He loves the church he gave himself up for the church for us. by implication, of course, we should love the church because this is what Jesus loves This Is Why We Gather because our savior has loved us and gave himself up for us. But the word Splendor or here in the ESV that he might present the church tombs. Yes blender. Is this opposite of being Dishonored but honored what an incredible thought that Jesus is going to give us the place of greatest honor at his right hand when he presents the church to the father. Do husbands. This is the motive. This is the model. What should we be doing with our wives as an act of love giving them the place of honor not dishonor not just honoring them but honoring them.

So he goes on to say verses 28 to 32 love your wives as yourself and brings it back from this little Rabbit Trail in the same way husband should love their wives as their own bodies. He loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes. It just as Christ does the church because we're members of his body. This is the greatest commandment to love the Lord your God with all your heart soul mind and strength into love your neighbor as yourself. Your wife is your dearest and nearest neighbor. And he says this is what we're to do to tell of our wives as we already love our own selves.

Husband your wife is one flesh with you and just as you nourish and cherish your own body because you already do love yourself. You ought to love your wives and nourish and cherish them. This is after all verse 30 what Jesus does with his own body again? Paul takes he can't get away from Jesus and us being the church and now he switches to the from the bride of Christ to the body of Christ. And he says the Lord Jesus feed the nurses his own body the church with the word by the spirit. Of course, you're going to nourish and cherish your own body and feed it and care for it. You should do the same with your wives.

This is what we experience day by day from Jesus. As he cares for us, he's the great physician. He's The Wonder of a counselor Isaiah tells us he's the gentle Shepherd.

A bruised Reed he won't break and a smoldering Wick he won't put out.

He says in him you find rest for your soul. This is the kind of of head. He is. This is the kind of husband. He is to his church. incredible Edible savior. If you don't know Jesus come to Christ put your faith in him. Experience this love and this relationship in this tenderness in this kindness.

Paul says his kindness is what leads us to repentance.

That's what brings us to repentance as we know we deserve his anger in his judgment. But instead he gives us his kindness and his love. Said she'll forgive all your sins and wash you whiter than snow do all of this resent you and glory to the father.

Come to Christ if you don't know him.

Back to marriage. It's I don't mind taking these rabbit Trails because Paul is he's talking about marriage, but he's talking about so much more than marriage in this passage.

Just as Christ does the church because we're members of his body. Then he quotes Genesis there for a man shall leave his father and mother. Cleave hold fast to his wife the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound verse 32. Pause drop the book of Ephesians has been talkin about the mystery this Revelation in Christ. It was previously hidden now. He says marriage is a part of it. Well, he's saying that really marriage is not the end. The mystery is still I'm saying he says verse 32. It refers to Christ and the church. The Mysteries not marriage marriage has been there from the beginning since Adam and Eve the mystery. Is that every marriage from the beginning was ultimately pointing to this reality that was going to happen between Christ and his people he was going to marry his people he was going to be committed to his people in Covenant relationship pledged to them for their good and their benefit. Isn't that that is mind-blowing to think of how great the love of Jesus has for us. My niece's husband's this is your model. This is your foundation. And this is the goal of all of human history. It's so much bigger than your marriage. It's the gospel in the summing-up of all things in Jesus nevertheless. Your marriage is a part of that and so love your wives as Christ loved the church.

Marriage, then is a proclamation of the Gospel.

having marriages that aren't christ-centered they don't accurately proclaim the gospel. But marriage itself as an institution is a proclamation of the Gospel.

I would say this wives when your dignity is measured in your well through your career or how many children you have or the size of your house or your personal accomplishments or your husband's reputation. that's not placing Christ as the head goal of your marriage husband's when you abused your headship by domination or by abdication.

When you don't love your wives, but instead mistreat them seeking your own good first and foremost your own career your own path your own Hobbies. Then you're worshiping yourself rather than Christ. Either way, it's not being Spirit-filled. Either way. It's not walking as wise. 5:15 is walking is unwise it's it's it's like we've seen so many times. It's like looking at that old self that's dead and buried in the ground and saying I'm going to go live in the casket. I'm going to go live in the grave thinking that life is better there than what I have in Jesus. Jesus came to bring life as God intended it to be abundant life human flourishing the good life the life that is Shalom. Peace. The way God intended it to be and part of what he does. Is he brings it into our very homes in our marriages when Christ is at the center when his person and work is motivating. Our marriages are relationships. So he returns to verse 33 the gospel implications Let each of you love his wife as I'm self and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Paul says what each of you love your wives every husband must love their wives. None of us are exempt. And you must give your wives loving service. So she might become what God intends for her. We cannot abuse our Authority in doing so we robbed our wives of their splendor. But each of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. The the word here respect is the same word back in verse 21 of submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ respect reverence. This isn't a slavish fear this word only reflects. What a wife what not only reflects. What a wife does when she submits but also her attitude in doing it respectful.

And we kind of intuitively understand this don't we?

in ungodly marriages in marriages that that are not rooted and grounded in the love of Christ marriages that are unhealthy we could say we see men try to dominate with strength and women trying to control men with shame rather than respect and rather than sacrificial love but a gospel driven marriage a husband has no right to intimidate or ignore his wife and a gospel driven wife has no right to diminish or shame her husband. This is what I was getting at.

Now we're all guilty of this, aren't we? I imagine for all of us here who are married. We've been guilty of this trying to either dominate Without Love. Or diminish and shame without respect. Praise the lord. We have the gospel as the answer to that. Jesus came in our place in was perfect because we weren't So even our marriages that are meant to be a picture of the Gospel are desperately needy for the implications of the Gospel. The reality is is I'm not the husband I should be.

Jesus is the perfect husband and I need the gospel. I need Jesus for when I sin so that I can ask for forgiveness and seek reconciliation knowing that I have it in Jesus. Why is it true of you as well? You're not the the woman you ought to be we lay down our sword against in the spiritual warfare is going to get to in chapter 6 and we lay down our life at the same time. We're going to be battling sin the rest of our lives even in the context of our marriages. Which is why he had said back in chapter 4 that when we do sin against one another we need to be kind to one another tenderhearted forgiving one another just as God in Christ forgave us.

It's one thing to put the standard of marriage is Christ in the church. What a glorious standard. But what do we do when we don't make that standard? What do we do when we don't live up to it or we flee to Jesus? And we ask for his forgiveness and we go to our spouse and we ask them for their forgiveness.

What about unhealthy marriages? What about split marriages and separations? What about these feelings of he doesn't really love me or she doesn't really respect me or our marriage is at an end or we're not one flesh. We're two individuals living under the same roof. What do we do about that? I have a few words of advice from scripture. First start by seeing your own sinfulness and desperate need for a savior.

Can I just say that your spouse is not your biggest problem you are. lectrofan Civ What scripture says?

You see when you begin to understand that you are your own biggest problem apart from Christ that you need the the work of Jesus in your life by the spirit to change you. It will then give you a heart to Grant your spouse the same kind of Grace that God has given you.

Imagine looking at your spouse rather than with criticism in ready to catch him and how they failed. Imagine looking at them with Grace. Just giving them what they don't deserve serving them and loving them. You might think that's impossible. But that's exactly what Jesus did with us. And when did he loved the church? He loved the church when we were at our worst. Not when we were at our best.

second remember Mercy triumphs over judgement

like sugar sweetens a bitter drink like coffee or tea Mercy sweetens the bitterness out of marriage.

Jesus said Matthew 5:44. Love your enemies. I remember one of my mentors John Carson using that example in marriage counseling where they say. Well, I don't love her. I hate her. She's my enemy. What what did Jesus command you to do with your enemies? Love them and pray for them. While we were still enemies Christ died for us and it's his kindness that leads us to repentance be ready to forgive forgive and sinners forgive sin. That's just a reality when we know that we've been forgiven we forgive. We don't cancel people we forgive.

But forgiveness is costly I spoke of this in chapter 4. Sometimes it cost more than what we think we can give and so we need to run to Jesus and remember how much we've been forgiven. Forgiveness requires repentance from the one who send in Mercy from the person send against instead of saying pay me what you owe you say. I'm going to cover the sin. I'm going to absorbance the cost of the sin. I'm not going to bring it up to you again or to God again or to myself again. That's difficult.

But holding on to a spouse's sand and hang it over their head like an old arrest warrant ready to be prosecuted. That's what the Bible calls bitterness.

In contrast what God does with our sins is he remembers them? No more Isaiah says the guy who doesn't forget anything cuz he's not going to bring them up. In fact Micah 7. He throws them on the ocean floor. Now you didn't really do that. There's they're not on the ocean floor. Literally. It's a picture to say he is removing them from us. This is what we ought to do when we forgive our spouses. I say I'm not going to bring up what you did to God anymore or to myself anymore or to you anymore. It's as if it's on the ocean floor, it's gone. I can't even dredge it up. I need to speak the truth in love as well. We know that God pursue Sinners he pursued us but God also uses Sinners to pursue Sinners Galatians 6. If you see your brother caught in a trespass you who are spiritual restore such a one in the spirit of gentleness lest you to be tempted that command is absolutely important in marriage. It when we go to our spouses when we see sending them that we say, I love you. This is not to be a criticism, but I see spin.

and I want to come to you in a spirit of gentleness to tell you about this.

I'm finally remember to always look to Christ Hebrews 12:1 and to set your eyes on Jesus the author and Perfecter of your faith over the joy set before him and the cross despising his shame and sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high. John Murray McShane a pastor from a previous generation said 41 look at yourself take ten looks at Christ. What a great bit of advice. He died in his thirties. Which makes me feel really old now that I'm you know, 49 and a half headed to 50 next year. So. Well, that's all I have to share with you today on marriage. Let's pray father. Thank you for this time. Thank you for your word.

Thank you for the marriages in this church. And for the signs of Health in life that that I've witnessed even in this past year-and-a-half. Thank you for the new marriages those who joined together in marriage since we even have become a church and I pray for these marriages father. I pray that Christ would be at the center. that they would see their marriages are ultimately not about them, but about the gospel and about worship at about Christ presenting her church his church.

His bride before you without spot and blemish blemish and that we are a part of of what you're doing to make all things new. It's so much bigger than us. I pray for those marriages that are hurting.

Does marriages that have?

animosity in trouble father that you would buy your spirit

Remind them of everything that they have received in Jesus that you would be bring healing that. Father, you know how to raise the dead you raised Our Savior from the dead you can raise marriages from the dead.

I pray for those who are single. Who haven't found a spouse who made desire to be married father. Would you give them Grace and peace? Would you use them in this season of singleness For Your Glory they are. have an opportunity to be useful for the kingdom in a way that married people cannot Paul teaches us that

for those that have lost spouses who are widows and widowers father. Would you bring them Comfort by your spirit?

You know how to do that father, you know how to give the peace that passes all understanding that guards our hearts and Minds in Christ Jesus. those who've been divorced those who are have experienced the loss in the heartache father, you know how to heal, you know how to restore the years the locusts have eaten.

Would you do this by your grace? Would you do it in such a way that you get all the glory in that we rejoice? Then we celebrate and share the stories of your goodness to us.

Is returned to the table now. May it be a blessed reminder of that day when the marriage supper of the Lamb is going to happen and we're going to be with our savior or husband Jesus. How we're going to feast and celebrate. And he's going to present us in. glory to you We pray all of this in Jesus name. Amen.