My Testimony

I Was the One That Jesus Left the 99 For…AND SO ARE YOU!!!

Matthew 18:10–14 ESV

“See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven. What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.

Regardless of what you’ve done, what bridges you’ve burned, or who you’ve hurt, Jesus is still seeking you. He’s waiting for you to come to your senses, if you haven’t already, as the prodigal son parable tells. He wants you to be found! He doesn’t want any one of us to perish. That’s why He came! See, I was that one that went astray in my own way. I wasn’t always this professional chaplain you see in front of you today. I, just like everyone else, have a past. And I want you to understand who your chaplain is. I want you to understand, I’m not so different from you.

No Earthly Father? No Problem!

I, like possibly many of you, did not know who my earthly father was. I didn’t have that influence to show me who I was supposed to be. I was raised by my grandma. The only thing I was told growing up when I would ask where my daddy was “when he found out your mom was pregnant, he ran off.” I would see other kids in school being picked up from school by their dads and I wanted that. I didn’t have a dad to show me how to be a man, husband, or father. My mother confided in me about two years ago that my father raped her and ran off when he found out she was pregnant. Had I not already been grounded in my faith and the Word of God, I don’t know how this might have affected me. I didn’t have that positive influence to show me how to build or fix things. I joke nowadays and tell people that “Youtube is my daddy”. I’ve learned a lot from Youtube on how to fix things, change oil etc. I struggled with this emotionally for a long time. When a man doesn’t have a Godly father figure in his life, he doesn’t have that direction to the Heavenly Father that our soul so desperately needs. It was only by the grace and mercy of God that I turned out alright. All throughout my life, God has placed Godly people around me that ARE NOT blood related. These have been Godly men and women that have come along my path to help me stay on the straight and narrow. There have been those that God never intended me to have contact with, but we serve a God that will not force us to love Him. He wants to be chosen by us. God gave me the family I always wanted in the form of those that praise his name. Check out what Psalm 68:5-6 says. This is the verse that I like to believe defined my childhood.

Psalm 68:5–6 NLT

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows— this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

For this next part of my testimony, I want you to keep Ephesians 2:4-5 in mind.

Ephesians 2:4–5 ESV

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—

I Could Be, Would Be, Should Be, Wearing White…BUT GOD!!!

When I was 17 years old, I was living with my grandma. My grandpa had passed away and grandma got lonely. She met this man that she had no business marrying. This man was abusive both physically and mentally. I remember one day I got into an arguement with this man and he shoved me on my bed. This was during Christmas break in January. I remember sitting on my bed stewing and plotting about how I wasn’t going to take it anymore. I was ready to kill this man who was abusing me, my brother, and my grandmother. I was no longer going to allow this man to hurt me and the only two people I cared about in this world any longer. I was going to church at the time. My youth leaders would pick me up on a Wednesday and take me to youth group. At youth group on a Wednesday night they could tell something was wrong. I told them what was going on. Without hesitation, they said “We don’t have a bed and we don’t have a room. What we do have is a couch and a way out. Do you want it?” Without a second thought I told them yes. Two weeks later, I moved in on my 18th birthday. I was in my senior year of high school. I was failing every single class. I didn’t care at the time…But God! I should be wearing white right now for the rest of my life possibly…But God! I graduated high school on time without summer school and went to basic training in October 2012.

Was I Really Saved?

Fast forward to 2017. At this point in my life I have served 4 years in the Air Force, I was married, divorced, and married to a different woman, I have a two year old at home and I am a correctional officer for TDCJ. At this point in my life, I have been raised in the church my whole life. I’ve been told that Jesus loves me and I’m supposed to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Am I saved at this point? I had my doubts. I had wondered if I was truly saved, why do I still do the same things that I used to do. Why do I still desire the things that I used to? Had I honestly surrendered? It was something that honestly bothered me. I decided to go to a mens group on a Monday night that would change my life forever. I usually didn’t go to men’s group because it would usually be some men sitting in a circle doing a bible study without much interaction. It was kind of boring, but I decided that is where I needed to be on that night. At the end of the Bible study, they put a chair in the middle of the circle and said “If you need prayer for anything, sit in this chair, we will lay hands on you and pray for you.” I felt the Holy Spirit saying to me “You’re not leaving this place until you get something from Me.” I knew what He was talking about. I sat in the chair and told the men there “I have been doubting if I have really been saved.” One man asked me “Do you remember where you gave your life to Christ?” I said “I was raised in the church my whole life and I was baptized when I was 10.” He explained to me “When you truly give your life to Christ, something supernatural happens. You can’t help but be changed when you give your life to the King of the universe, the Savior of the world. You’ll always remember where you were, who was there, something about that moment will be engrained in you forever.” Guys, I was saved at Kings Trail Cowboy Church on March 6th 2017 at approximately 9:30 at night. After that night I now know that I know that I know that I am saved by King Jesus!!! Romans 10:9 says

Romans 10:9 ESV

because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

See I didn’t confess with my mouth that Jesus was Lord until that night. Going to church isn’t going to save you. Tithing isn’t going to save you. Generous acts of service aren’t going to save you. Only the confession with your mouth that Jesus is Lord will save you.

God Doesn’t Call the Qualified, He Qualifies the Called!!!

Fast forward to October 2018, I am finishing up my Bachelor’s Degree in Christian Leadership and Management. I’m 25 years old at this point. I turned in my last assigment and said to God “Ok God! Where am I going to go be on staff at? Is it Gateway? Is it Prestonwood? Where am I going to go be a youth pastor at? Where am I going to plant a church at.” God responds with a very simple answer “I want you to be Chaplain here at Buster Cole.” My response was also a simple answer. “No…No see God that wasn’t part of the plan! I was only doing this prison thing to pay the bills while I was in college. I’m done now so lets go! And in any case God, we already have a Chaplain” He responds with two words “Trust Me”. Keep this in mind, I worked third shift at the time and never saw the Chaplain. One day I decide to stay over and catch the Chaplain when he comes into work. I caught him and said “Hey Chaplain are you leaving or retiring or anything?” He said “Yeah I’m transferring to the Johnston unit on the 1st of November. Its closer to my house. Why do you ask?” “No reason” I said. I walk out the front door and look up and told God “Ok maybe you know something I don’t.” They post the job opening, I put in for it on November 15 and don’t hear anything about an interview until Monday, December 10th. I get a phone call saying my interview would be that Friday. TDCJ requires that you have something called en ecclesiastical endorsement. I didn’t know what this was so I brought a reccomendation letter from my pastor. When I went up for the job, there were five people, including myself that put in for it. Three of them had been to seminary. Two of them were missionaries in Brazil in Thailand for 25 years each. Here I was, a 25 year old kid, just finished my undergrad program, with zero ministry experience. Why was I here? Simply becuase God told me to. While we were waiting for the interviews to start, I was sitting in the lobby waiting with the other applicants. The two former missionaries were swapping stories of their trips and I was sitting on the edge of my seat, enjoying the glory stories because they have been there and done that! I told them how awesome it was to hear their stories because I want to travel the world and share the Gospel and they smiled and said “Don’t worry brother, your time will come.” I look back and smile because none of us had any clue.

During my interview, the Director of Chaplaincy and the Warden at the time interviewed me. I showed them the reccomendation letter. They said a reccomendation letter wasn’t what they meant but they would email me the form I needed my pastor to sign. If I could get it signed and emailed to them by Monday at 5 P.M., they would still consider me for the job. During the interview, I expressed how ministry is all I want to do with my life. I used my GI Bill on a ministry degree and I would be the best Chaplain I could be if they would hire me. They thanked me for my time. As soon as I walked out the front door after the interview, my first thought was “welp at least I tried.” Immediate doubt in my mind based on what I saw with my eyes. I worked night shift the Sunday night after the interview. After I get off work on Monday, I’m trying to go to sleep, but the Warden calls me. “Did you get that form signed?” I told her “No ma’am, I didn’t see my pastor this weekend.” She said “Ok well try to see if you can catch him today. If you can get him to sign that form we emailed you, we’ll still consider you for the job.” I told her “Ok I’ll see what I can do.” THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN A HUGE RED FLAG FOR ME!!! The warden of the facility is calling me and telling me to get something done and they will CONSIDER me for the job!!! So what did I do? I went back to sleep. I wake up at 2 P.M. because I have to pick up my kid from school at 3. My first thought when I woke up was “maybe I should really try.” I called my church and asked if the pastor was there. They said no, he takes his sabbath on Monday. I told them it was really important and I desperately needed him to sign this paper. His secretary calls him and calls me back saying call him at this number right now and he usually doesn’t do this. I call the pastor and he tells me I will have to come out to his house to sign the form. I pick up my son from school and head out to his house. I explain to him what it is for and I told him about the other applicants. He told me to not discount myself just because of that. He said “I’ve been on hiring boards where guys will come in and flaunt their accomplishments, but only want to come in and collect a pay check. I’ve also seen guys that have zero experience but have more passion for the work than those guys with all the accomplishments. Those are the guys I like to hire.” I get home at 4:30 that afternoon. I’m sitting in front of my computer and thinking to myself “why am I doing this? I’m not going to get the job.” See again there was so much doubt because of what I could see and not my faith in what the God of the impossible could do. I emailed the form and said a prayer.

Tuesday comes and goes. I didn’t get a phone call. I thought to myself “ok I probably didn’t get the job.” Wednesday comes and goes. I didn’t get a phone call. I think to myself “ok I definitely didn’t get the job.” Thursday morning comes. I had just worked night shift the previous night and I was trying to get some sleep. Everyone is calling me. My wife locked her keys in the car and I had to come unlock it, my brothers cat died and he was really upset about it. I mean my phone would just not stop ringing! Then a 936 area code pops up ringing. I’m thinking “where is 936?” I almost don’t answer thinking its spam. I answer and the person says “hello this is so and so from Huntsville HR, is this Randy Hill?” I say yes Ma’am. I’m thinking aw crap I’m fired. Why else would Huntsville HR be calling me?!? She asks if I’m still interested in the Chaplain job. I said yes. She reads off some disclaimers, job requirements and agreements. She asked if I agree. I did and then she said words that changed my life forever. “Congratulations Mr. Hill you are now the Chaplain of Buster Cole State Jail effective January 1st, 2019!” I thank her, hang up the phone, and hit my knees and sob. I cry out to God. “How do you still bless me through all my disbelief? How do you still reward me through all of my doubting of You?!?” Once again, He gave me a simple answer “Because I love you.”

Guys I want you to remember a couple of verses. The next time that God calls you to do something and you don’t think you’re qualified, remember this. God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called!

1 Corinthians 1:27 ESV

But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong;

Philippians 4:19 ESV

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

2 Peter 1:3 NLT

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.

I want you to remember:

Joseph was the youngest brother who was sold into slavery, but he ended up being second in command over all of Egypt

Moses led the Israelites to Egypt despite not being able to speak well.

David was a shepherd boy who was the youngest in his family. He wasn’t even acknowledged by his father Jesse when Samuel came to annoint the next King. David had no formal training, he didn’t come from a royal family, but He became King of Israel.

Gideon delivered Israel with just 300 men after hiding in a winepress.

Peter was a rough around the edges fisherman who was called the Rock of Jesus’s church.

Chaplain Hill is a guy who didn’t have an earthly father or ministry experience or resources when he started, but now he has Gateway, Life Fellowship, One Community and others helping in this mission of leading men to Christ. How do I do it? All glory goes to God men. January will be five years since I started. I have learned as I go and have been dependent on God to supply the people, the resources, the curriculum. My life verse, as I have learned is Philippians 1:6.

Philippians 1:6 ESV

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

I don’t always understand. I don’t always agree, but I know this God wrote my story a long time ago. He’s already wrote your story. Be obedient and faithful to Him and He won’t let you down. The last verse I’ll leave you with is Romans 8:28

Romans 8:28 ESV

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.