When and How to FIght

When and How to Fight - DAY 1

Roe v. Wade flip - storytelling - we’re gonna learn how to fight.

The Bible tells us and gives us examples throughout of Christians who fought well.

And what’s interesting is these folks are celebrated.

David, Joshua, Jesus, Paul, John the Baptist…

But today when a Christian fights - enters into conflict - stirs the pot in the public sphere

At best we think “now is this really necessary”

At worst we think they’re sinning.

The question we deal with is… how do we know when we should engage and when we should run away?

Define terms - fight?

Do I mean a physical altercation?

Well, it could. But lets put it under a bigger category -  conflict.

Here’s the deal - Christians today are conflict-averse. We avoid conflict.

And when a conflict arises, we tend to want to avoid it at all costs.

The long awkward silence at the family reunion or thanksgiving dinner.

When someone makes a scene in a public place we take the long way around…

Unless - why? - we get angry and we lose control

Well see… that’s a problem.

We wait to lose control of our emotions in order to engage in a conflict.

That’s actually the WORST time to engage in a conflict. You’re not in full control. You aren’t thinking straight.

You see the problem? We avoid it, because it makes us uncomfortable, until we can’t control ourselves anymore and we lash out.

That’s not how to do this. That’s not how to win.

A general truth - “if you want to win a fight, punch somebody in the nose.”

Why? Because if you punch them in the nose, most people’s response is to swing wild. THey lose control. And guess who’s advantage that is.

This has been us, the American church, for the last fifty years or so.

We’ve been quiet, polite, non-engaging - until the bad guys show up and punch us in the face.

Then we lash out in anger, a lack of restraint, we swing wild and uncontrolled - and that just means that the body blows are coming in next.

Eph 4:26 - 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil.

The gifts of the Spirit - Love Joy Peace Patience Kindness goodness and SELF CONTROL.

The very idea of us losing control, is a problem and it gives a ton of opportunity to the DEVIL.

You want the enemy to gain ground on you? Well he’s been running a two-fold play on us.

First he’s shamed us into silence. We never say anything that could start conflict or disrupt our peace.

And then, since we’re out of practice, he pushes us too hard and provokes us into an emotional response.

So what’s the answer here? How do we know when and how to engage?

Wisdom. We’re not wise.

Part of our issue is that we don’t know what wisdom is - I think when we think of wisdom we think of some sage, monk on the mountain top, spouting eastern proverbs with a reed pipe playing in the background…

And since we treat wisdom as this odd ethereal thing, we think it’s unattainable.

If you read proverbs - Wisdom is simply APPLYING what we know from the Bible rightly.

The nitty gritty details - the how.

Laying a proper course of action, a proper response.

IN OTHER WORDS - WITHOUT WISDOM

We can’t tell when it’s time to fight and when it’s time to lay back.

We can’t discern the times, which is why we’re in the situation we’re in today, the culture at large running amuck, because the church hasn’t done it’s job in proclaiming what is true.

One thing that the law of God does is restrain evil. Paul refers to it as a tutor. (Gal 3:19) And evil has been largely unrestrained for quite some time.

And we haven’t proclaimed what is true because we are simple, not wise. We didn’t even realize we were SUPPOSED to be.

Why aren’t we wise? Because we’re proud, and we don’t ask God for wisdom. We think we’ve got it already, apart from him, and that’s makes us WHAT? Fools.

And if we’re fools - well how does a fool act? Half cocked, proud, they aren’t measured and controlled in their responses.

So - we need to NOT be fools. But be wise. How?

James 1:2-5 - Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Trials - adversity - it’s good for you. It changes you.

In other words - conflict is good for you. It helps to grow you, if you deal with it rightly.

Well how do we deal with it rightly, James???

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

“God, I need wisdom to know how to do this, how to fight well.”

And where is that first dose of wisdom coming from?

The fear of the Lord, of course.

You want to fight well in the world? Get your fears in the right order.

But to fear - doesn’t mean to be afraid.

Ex 20:18-20 - Now when all the people saw the thunder and the flashes of lightning and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking, the people were afraid and trembled, and they stood far off and said to Moses, “You speak to us, and we will listen; but do not let God speak to us, lest we die.” Moses said to the people, “Do not fear, for God has come to test you, that the fear of him may be before you, that you may not sin”

Did you catch it?

In other words Moses is saying - he’s not here to kill you. He’s here to show you who he is and what he’s capable of, so that you can get your fears in order.

And we have the same assurance.

In Christ - we draw near to God, he’s not going to kill us, our sin is covered by Jesus, we are atoned for.

But we can behold who he is, his holiness and his wrath, so that we can get our proper fears in order.

See, if you’re afraid of God, you’ll never go to him in order to get your appropriate fear - to help keep you from sin and gain wisdom.

This is a beautiful thing.

The more you go to God, the more you know him, the more you fear him, the more you trust his ways and are held by him.

Draw near to God and he draws near to you.

REVIEW OF DAY 1:

BIBLE CHARACTERS THAT FOUGHT?

SO DON’T AVOID FROM CONFLICT - GET USED TO IT

Get comfortable in it. There will always be conflict. If you’re in pursuit of a peace-filled life you need to repent.

AND DEFINITELY DON’T ONLY ENGAGE WHEN PROVOKED

Jesus’ church needs to be able to take a punch in the face and keep her composure.

Which probably means we need to get punched in the face more often.

Which probably means we need to stop avoiding conflict

In other words, Jesus’ church needs a thicker skin.

How do you think people got thick skin? They earned it.

Stop avoiding conflict.

AND WHEN IN CONFLICT - WE NEED WISDOM TO KNOW WHEN TO FIGHT - AND THE RIGHT FEAR OF GOD WILL GET US WISDOM

Fear of the Lord will bring us to read and study and depend on God and his word.

So that we can apply it with wisdom, and know how to follow him and fight well - more next week.

The strife makers, the trouble makers, are described similarly as the drunkards

They have a disposition of it.

They’re drunk all the time, they fight all the time,

But even there wisdom - maybe you fight all the time Because it’s war out there

DAY 2 - WISDOM PRINCIPLE #1 - A time for love, a time for hate...

There are times when the Bible makes it clear that Christians will be *hated* by the world around them.

John 15:18 – “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.”

Romans 8:36 – As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

John 17:14 – I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.

BUT – there are also times that the Bible says that we should be thought well of and honored by our neighbors.

1 Timothy 3:7 – Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.

2 Corinthians 8:21 – “For we aim at what is honorable not only in the Lord’s sight but also in the sight of man.”

HATED AND LOVED - SO WHEN IS WHICH THING SUPPOSED TO BE TRUE???

BOTH things should happen.

If you’re faithful, if you’re fighting to follow Jesus, then there will be those who love you for it, and those who hate you for it. That’s it.

That’s the line for the consistent Christian: you will be loved by some, you will be hated by some. That’s the rub. Don’t fall into the ditch of one or the other.

To the degree that you are faithful to the scriptures, these two principles will play out in your life. Just make sure that you’re being loved and hated for the right reason – faithfulness to Christ and his commandments.

John 7:12 – And there was much muttering about him among the people. While some said, “He is a good man,” others said, “No, he is leading the people astray.”

SO HOW?

The Christian should have a disposition of a TRUTH TELLER

emotions restrained - truth at our disposal - we apply what is true to life around us.

I got a text this week from somebody in the church - Pastor Stu - how do I know if I’m doing a good job?

our faith is not a personal thing we keep to ourselves. it should be painfully obvious to the people around us.

this is why we build a distinctly Christian culture. This is why we sing. This is why we have reformation day parties.

we are public - intentionally so - SO THAT folks

So I told my friend that sent me the text - be public, proclaim God’s truth in the situations you face, proclaim it in a matter-of-fact sense, and see what the Lord does with it.

And remember this sequence:

Person in sin - proclaim God’s law - proclaim the Gospel - repent and believe - pray.

if you stop short of the Gospel - you’re missing the point.

if you only give Gospel and no law - then they don’t know what they need to be saved from

if you proclaim law and Gospel - but not the gift of repentance and faith… then you’ve told them the good news but not how to access it.

And pro-tips on cultivating that type of tone and disposition - it is DIRECTLY related to how secure you are in Jesus and trusting him and his promises.

REVIEW

NEW STUFF - The strife stirrer.

What is strife? - disagreement.

the strife stirrer is somebody who is perpetually operating in disagreement w/ everybody.

family, fellow church members, etc.

the folks they should be working for unity w/ they’re always picking a fight.

Romans 16:17 “I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them.”

don’t get me wrong - disagreements do happen within the church and family - but those things should be the exception, not the rule

now maybe you married somebody that’s got a ton of hardcore opposing beliefs from you… well… then you’ve got some work to do.

but the goal is unity - and there is a difference between

there are a lot of roots of strife-stirring.

Proverbs 20:3 “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.”

just plain foolishness.

This could be the person who wants to be right all the time

the “actually” guy.

Proverbs 10:12 “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.”

could be hatred of the other person.

they want to be in conflict with them, they WANT them to lose.

And if you keep it up - it’s not going to end well with you.

Proverbs 18:6 “A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating.”

James 3:14–16 “But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”

jealousy could play a role here - you want what they want.

or, you want in front of them, so you look to enter into conflict w/ them.

you especially want the presence of an audience if you’re trying to tear someone down so you can win.

men do this when they peacock around women (or other men)

now, in some sense, this isn’t wrong. we should be a people that speak the truth and love the truth and say it plainly to one another.

but there is a difference between entering into conflict to be impressive, and doing it to be true.

in other words - don’t be the guy looking for the fight

Proverbs 17:19 “Whoever loves transgression loves strife; he who makes his door high seeks destruction.”

The Bible gives us some more specific instructions here as well

Matthew 18:15–17 ““If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”

So our disposition w/ disagreement with those we are in covenant with is one of restoration and unity.

not to win - not to be right - not for selfish gain - not to be impressive.

if that’s you - if you’re the actually guy - you probably need to repent.

But what about outside the church?

should we be seeking peace always with those outside the church?

1 Timothy 2:1–2 “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.”

what’s the context of Paul’s words here?

The church is running for it’s life - he’s saying y’all pray that they will stop trying to kill us so we can live peaceful lives while not compromising our faith (godly)

he’s not saying peaceful in the sense of having zero conflict.

that’d be crazy.

But what about this one:

1 Thessalonians 4:11–12 “and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.”

well, that seems like the kill-shot to having any conflict with the world around us huh?

but that sure deosn’t seem to be how the prophets or Jesus or the apostles lived

lets pull back and get the bigger context

1 Thessalonians 4:9–12 “Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another, for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more, and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.”

there it is. - this aint about peace with the world around us.

and herein lies another example of the dangers of proof-texting.

What’s even more interesting here...

there is a connection between peace between brothers and “walking properly before outsiders”

so strive for unity with one another, dealing with disagreements properly when they come up, making sure that your disagreements and motivated sinfully...

and as far as the world around us goes?

Teach them God’s commands.

Matthew 28:18–20 “And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.””

which means what?

conflict.

but how do we do it rightly?

first... lets just do it at all.

Paul’s and Jesus’s model:

Paul went in, reasoned and debated, and when he was rejected he moved on to the next spot.

When Jesus sent out his disciples two by two they were told if they were rejected to shake the dust off their sandals and move on to the next spot.

proclaim God’s truth, and if it’s rejected, alright… moving on.

Proclaim God’s truth to as many as possible

IN OTHER WORDS - have a degree of conflict w/ as many as possible.

and then if they reject you, fine. conflict over. but the seed is planted. So let’s see what happens.

and this is why Social Media is a good platform for this.

a wide audience.

and the means of preaching on social media can be very similar to that of college campuses.

I was talking to a campus preacher once and he told me “if you want to get a crowd, start a fight”

in other words - he would intentionally front load his preaching with the more controversial issues of the day.

but he did that to get the folks anchored next to him, and THEN he would deal with each of them individually.

reasoning, answering questions, and winning people to Jesus.

So don’t be scared of conflict - wield it CORRECTLY - and obey Jesus and enter into it. Teaching others to follow him

but don’t be a strife stirrer w/ Jesus’ people.