Making It Match

HOOK

Have you heard of the term “curb appeal” ? Could someone tell us what that means?

[Show PowerPoint wit the definition] - “Curb appeal” is defined as “the visual attractiveness of a house as seen from the street”.

When someone is seeling their home, it is a good idea to make sure that it looks great when someone looking for a new home drives by.

What are some ideas of things not to do if you want to have good curb appeal? ( Ugly looking paint, overflowing rubbish bins, cracked concrete etc)

Thanks for sharing those ideas. If you want a place to look good, it is natural to spruce up the outside to make it look good. But one thing that is important to know about homes, especially if you are buying a house, is that the outside doesn’t always reflect the inside. Just because a house has good curb appeal doesn’t mean that the inside of the house matches the care that was taken for the outside.

There are plenty of good-looking houses on the outside that are cluttered indoors, have holes in the walls, broken appliances, and a variety of hidden problems.

There is a television show that exposes the insides of some of the messiest, most cluttered homes in the world. How many of you have seen a show called “Hoarders”? [Allow for responses.] This show highlights people who have a debilitating addiction to hoarding incredible amounts of things in their homes. Their house may look good on the outside, but when you open the door, well, there is a reason the show is called “Hoarders.” Let’s look at a brief clip from this show to help us get a picture of what the creators of this show consider a “messy inside.”

To most people, the collections of items stored in these houses would seem like trash, but these hoarders can’t even imagine giving these things up. The show uses experts in organization and psychology and even garbage removers to help these hoarders reclaim their homes from all the excess stuff!

Here is a thought-provoking question. Is your inner life like a hoarder’s home? Don’t answer too quickly! Have you worked to make yourself look good on the outside while you keep the junk on the inside hidden?

Sometimes we can do this physically:

We may have an intense focus on presenting ourselves well.

We may take the time to make sure that everything looks perfect.

We may not let anyone take a picture of us without permission, or at least won’t let them post it online!

We may retake the picture over and over again before we share it on social media if even a hair is out of place.

We may even use a filter to give a better impression!

But this doesn’t just apply to our appearance, does it? We often “filter” our actions as well. We might talk one way around our church friends, but a totally different way around our friends from school or the neighborhood. There may be things you would never do in front of your parents that you start to do as soon as they walk out of the room. This pressure to put up a perfect “exterior” is common and not just with students. As important as the “curb appeal,” or outside of our lives, is our inner lives are even more important.

Here is another question to consider. What if the outside of your life, your curb appeal, was a true representation of the kind of person you are on the inside? That would be an honest life, wouldn’t it? That would be a life with integrity.

You may be thinking, “I don’t want anyone looking inside my life.” You’re not alone. Even the most outgoing person in the world probably doesn’t want people to know every detail of their life. Many people have this fear: “If you saw what’s inside of my life, you may not like me anymore.” We don’t always like it when others see “the real us,” do we? Can you imagine letting just anyone into your house? What about letting the whole world see inside?

Well, this is the second lesson in a four-part series called Home Inspection: Is Your Foundation Strong? In this series, we are discussing the idea of integrity. [Show the PowerPoint slide with the definition of the word “integrity.”] Since we are looking at integrity from a biblical perspective, we are defining “integrity” as the decision “to live a life consistent with biblical principles.” That’s what this whole lesson is about, consistency. The life that others see from the outside should be consistent with who we are on the inside. We must make the inside match the outside.

So, let’s begin by talking about both the inside and the outside of our lives.

LESSON CONTENT

Two Sides: Inside and Outside ( 1 Samuel 16:7)

We all have two sides: an outside life and an inside life. Our outside life is how we appear to other people, our curb appeal if you will. The way we act, the words we say, even our body language are all being observed by others as they “drive-by” our lives.

We also have an inside life. We have our thoughts, our desires, our hearts, and our souls. No one can see those things, just like no one can see the inside of our houses when they simply “drive-by.”

Which do you think God is more concerned about: our outside or our inside? Well, without a doubt, both are important to Him because He loves us, but 1 Samuel 16:7 gives us some insight into God’s unique focus. [Read 1 Samuel 16:7b.]

God doesn’t look at people the way we do. We tend to base our opinions of others on the way they look on the outside, but God can see the inside; He looks at our hearts.

If we have a relationship with Jesus because we have trusted in Him to save us from sin, He has given us the Holy Spirit to live inside us, helping us to grow to be more like Jesus. In fact, 2 Corinthians 3:18 reminds us of what is true of us as a result of the Holy Spirit inside us. Listen to this verse. [Read 2 Corinthians 3:18.] Through the Holy Spirit, we are being transformed into the image of God. We must allow Him to transform us from the inside out.

This is not just an outward change so that we look good or appear “spiritual.” A life that is made clean only on the outside lacks integrity because the outside doesn’t match the inside. But when we allow the Holy Spirit to clean the inside first, our integrity will show. We must make the inside match the outside.

As a way to help us see what not to do, we are going to consider a couple of bad examples. We’re going to look at some people who were incredibly focused on how they appeared to others while having little concern for the sin in their hearts. Jesus boldly called these people out for their lack of integrity, and we would be wise to learn from their mistakes.

2. Two Examples: Dishes and Tombs (Matthew 23:25-28)

The two groups of people that Jesus called out for being way too focused on their own “curb appeal” were the scribes and Pharisees. They had an overwhelming concern for how they appeared to the people around them. The scribes and Pharisees were both religious groups in Jesus’ time. They wanted to appear to be following every rule and doing all the right things.

If the Pharisees and scribes were around today, they would probably be the ones posting on Instagram, telling everyone about all of the community services they had done. They would be sure to post a picture of their “random acts of kindness” done for the less fortunate.

For the Pharisees and scribes, it was all an act. On the outside, they looked like they were faithful followers of God, but they had masks on—masks that hid who they really were on the inside.

So, let’s see what Jesus said about their “inside life.” Would one of you be willing to read Matthew 23:25-28? [Choose a volunteer and allow time for Matthew 23:25-28 to be read.]

Since God looks on the heart, Jesus knew the truth about these hypocritical men. His message to them was, “Woe.” To call out “woe” to someone was to declare that they were in a miserable condition. Much like the people who are featured on the “Hoarders” television show, these religious leaders were living in a miserable condition, but they were living with a lack of integrity! Their inside didn’t match their outside. Jesus exposed that lack of integrity.

From the verses we just heard read, someone tell us some of the words Jesus used to describe their inner lives. [Allow for responses. Here are some possible answers: dirty cups and dishes, tombs full of bones.]

Let’s talk about these two different word pictures that Jesus used to describe these scribes and Pharisees. First, He compared them to dirty dishes.

a. Dirty dishes (Matthew 23:25-26)

If you’re doing the dishes (not putting dishes in the dishwasher but actually handwashing dishes), is it a good idea to just clean the outside of a coffee cup and leave the inside all dirty, with dried up coffee in it? [Allow for responses.] What would your mom say? [Allow for responses.] Obviously, the best plan is to clean both the inside and the outside of the cup.

Let’s talk about this for a moment. What do we mean by making sure that our inside life is clean? What do you think that means? Describe someone whose life is clean on the inside.

Allow for several responses. Here are some possible answers: righteous thinking, pure motives, desiring to get to know God better, etc.

Okay, so what do you think of when we talk about making sure that your outside life is clean? What qualities or actions would show that the outside of our life is clean?

Here are some possible answers: using clean, positive, encouraging language; avoiding sinful situations; being a good and loving example to others, etc.

Unlike these scribes and Pharisees, let's remember that both our inside and outside lives are important. The person of integrity makes sure that what is on the inside matches what is on the outside. Our job is not to impress people, but to live for God. Our outside lives should reflect what’s going on in our inner lives. We must make the inside match the outside.

But dirty dishes weren’t the only comparison that Jesus used to describe these hypocritical men. After Jesus referred to the Pharisees and scribes as dirty cups, He said that they were also like whitewashed tombs.

b. Whitewashed Tombs (Matthew 23:27-28)

This is a vivid, and nasty word picture of hypocrisy. Does anyone know what “whitewashed” means? [Allow for responses.] To whitewash something simply means to paint it white. What did Jesus say was on the inside of the tomb? [Allow for responses.] Obviously, a tomb would be full of bones, right?

One thing that we need to understand is that, in Jesus’ time, the Jewish people would have viewed bones or dead bodies as unclean. That would mean that if they touched bones or a dead body, they would have to be purified before they were able to worship again. This wasn’t as simple as washing their hands or saying a prayer. They would need to wash themselves several times over the course of a week, as well as be sprinkled with the ashes of a sacrifice (Numbers 19:11-19).

So, knowing these facts about uncleanness, what was Jesus saying? He was saying that these religious leaders were like a beautiful, white building (curb appeal) that was full of things that would make them unclean (hypocrisy/lack of integrity). What a powerful picture of our lives apart from Jesus cleansing us! Without Jesus, we are full of things like deceit, jealousy, anger, lust, and hatred, but we can still try to look so good on the outside!

Knowing that your inner life is important, what is the solution for the problem of being a dirty cup or a tomb full of bones? The answer is integrity, living a life consistent with biblical principles. The idea of consistency from the definition of integrity is so important. It means to be the same on the inside as you’re showing yourself to be on the outside. We must make the inside match the outside.

The opposite of integrity is hypocrisy or being a hypocrite. [Show the PowerPoint slide with the definition of the word “hypocrisy.”] You know what hypocrisy is. The word “hypocrisy” is defined as “the pretending of having virtues, principles, or beliefs that one in fact does not have.” Pretending! That is a keyword! It looks good on the outside, but don’t open the door, don’t peak in through the window. If you do, you will discover that the inside doesn’t match the outside. The dirty cup and the bone-filled tomb are both pictures of hypocrisy, acting one way but really being another.

Jesus was calling these religious leaders to be honest about who they were and telling them to not try to appear more holy than they actually were. But He didn’t want to leave them in their filth. Notice His instruction to them in Matthew 23:26. [Read Matthew 23:26.] First! Notice the order! First, cleanse the inside so the outside can be clean as well. Call in the “organizational experts” and the “garbage removers” if you have to, but clean first the inside!

Just like it's nice if a house looks good on the outside, our lives should also look good on the outside by being a godly example to the world around us. We should leave a good impression and testimony through the way we live our lives. However, it’s crucial for our lives to be in good condition and clean on the inside. And it is most crucial for the inside and the outside to match! That’s consistency! That’s integrity! We must make the inside match the outside.

So, how do we do that? How do we work on our “insides”? When you’re working on remodeling a kitchen, first you need to remove the old flooring, the old cabinets, the old, broken appliances. After that, you can install the new flooring, the new cabinets and countertops, and the new appliances. That makes sense, right? Out with the old and in with the new!

There is a similar remodeling process in our spiritual lives, our “insides.” In Colossians 3, Paul tells us about things we need to remove from our lives and things we need to add. We often call them the “Put Offs and Put Ons.”

III. Two Actions: Put Off and Put On (Colossians 3:5, 8-9, 12-17)

[Show the PowerPoint slide with your chosen version of Colossians 3:8-9.] First, let’s look at Colossians 3:8-9 to see what things we should put off or remove from our lives. [Read Colossians 3:8- 9.]

a. Things to put off (Colossians 3:5, 8-9)

Look at the verses. Call out any of the things you see in these verses that we should get out of our lives.

If the students don’t find all of the answers, here are the things listed in Colossians 3:8-9: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language, lying

Getting these things out of our lives is like clearing the old stuff out of the room as we begin remodeling. If we want to build our inner lives in a way that is pleasing to God, we need to start by clearing out the room. As we look at this list, we may see things that we struggle with. Maybe one, maybe many. Several of these are actually addictive behaviors, and it may seem like we just can’t quit.

But it’s not like these are the only things that we need to put off. In fact, the writer of this passage, the Apostle Paul used some strong language to describe other sins that we need to rid our lives of. We just read Colossians 3:8-9; will someone back up a few verses and read Colossians 3:5 for us? [Choose a volunteer and allow time for Colossians 3:5 to be read.] What did Paul say that we can do to these behaviors? [Allow for a response: put them to death.] In other words, don’t just bring in the garbage removers; bring in the exterminator! Make the inside match the outside.

After you’ve cleared the old items out of the room, it’s time to begin rebuilding. Let’s find out what materials we need to use.

b. Things to put on (Colossians 3:12-17)

There are several things to put on listed for us in verses 12 through 17 of Colossians 3. [Read Colossians 3:12-17.] These verses are full of things we should build into our lives. Look at this list. [Show the PowerPoint slide with the Put On list from Colossians 3:12-17.]

This list contains ten characteristics that are all good things that should be built into our lives. This is not an exhaustive list, of course, but it is a good place to start. If I examine myself and can’t find these in my life, do you think that my inner life is what it should be? Just like we need to take active steps to “put off” sin, we also need to take active steps to “put on” good things in our lives. So, put off, put on; make the inside match the outside!

CONNECTION

Okay, but how? It makes sense that you have both an outside and an inside. We all are keenly aware of the struggle to do right. Sure, you don’t want to be a hypocrite. But making your inside match your outside is hard! It is so much easier to look good than it is to be good! How can you be consistent? How can you live with integrity?

Well, there is good news! There is hope! There is a way forward! Do you remember when [Insert the name of the student who read Colossians 3:5.] read Colossians 3:5? That verse told us to “put certain things to death.” Do you remember that? [Allow for a response.]

When Paul said we are to put these things to death, that means that we actually have the ability to do it. Our sin was already killed by Jesus on the cross. And when Jesus died on the cross, He paid for all these sins and made us new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Our job is to know our sin is dead, believe our sin is dead, and live like our sin is dead (Romans 6:10-12)! We have the Holy Spirit inside us, the Spirit Who can help us pack up those “dead man’s bones” and get them out of our lives. He can help us wash out the inside of the dirty cup so the outside can be clean as well!

We may know that these facts are true, but now we need to live as though they are true. Live your life knowing that Jesus already paid for your lying, anger, bad language, or whatever sin you have chosen to hoard! So, dump it! Get rid of it! Put it to death! Your sin has been defeated; it’s time to escort it out of your house!

Now that you know that your sin is dead and that the Holy Spirit is alive in you, allow Him to begin the remodel! Begin to put on things that honor God. Look at this list again. [Refer to the Put On list on the PowerPoint.]

Maybe as you look at this list of good qualities, you see several that you’re doing pretty well. Great! That’s good news! Maybe you don’t see anything on this list that seems to be a part of your life. That can change! Start with one. Which of these will you put on this week? How will you take a step toward making your inside life match your outside actions? In short, what will you do to live with integrity?

CHOICE

So, will you start today? Will you take one step toward making your inside life match your outside actions? If so, will you make that commitment to God right now?

If you don’t feel like making that decision, ask yourself why. Why would you want your life to be so out of sync, looking good to the world but not pleasing to the Lord Who created you?

Take a moment to pray and talk with God about your integrity. If you are making a commitment to change one thing, make that commitment to Him now. If not, will you ask God to help you have the desire to be consistent? Ask Him to help you live with integrity.

NEXT STEPS

If you’re remodeling a house, there often comes a point when you just need to start. You need to grab the knife to start cutting the carpet or start swinging the sledgehammer to demolish the wall.

It’s the same in our spiritual lives. The first step can be the hardest, but we need to start. Right now, you can start to make better choices for your inner life. [Refer to the PowerPoint slide with the list of things to Put On.]

Thinking about the list of things to “put off” and looking at the list of things to “put on,” pick one that you will start working on right now. Be sure to dialogue in your small groups about how you will live with integrity. Personally talk to your small group leader or a trusted friend before you leave so that they can hold you accountable to making your inner life match your outward actions. Make the inside match the outside.