If I only had Community

Ecclesiastes 4:7–12

7 I observed yet another example of something meaningless under the sun. 8 This is the case of a man who is all alone, without a child or a brother, yet who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then he asks himself, “Who am I working for? Why am I giving up so much pleasure now?” It is all so meaningless and depressing.

9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Recap

Welcome to harvest. Week 7of us being weekly, in the book of Ecc. We are operating from the framework that everyone worships. That whether you are and atheist or Buddhist gnostic you are worshipping something. We are worshiping things like Knowledge, money, power, pleasure/sex, work, community/Status. No matter who you are, you are worshiping these little g gods. Whether you are a Jesus follower or not. We think these little g gods are going to be the answer to life’s big question. Life big question is this… What is the meaning of life? What is my purpose? How do I find happiness or contentment?

David Foster Wallace

Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship … is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough … Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you … Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is … they’re unconscious. They are default settings.

The reason we worship these little G gods is because we think that it’s going to sketch that itch. That longing of our heart.

We as humans fall into three categories, The Dreamer, The Zombie and The Alien. The dreamer is grass is greener on the other side. The zombie is there is no happiness or satisfaction to be had so I’m just going die on the inside and quite crying at the moon. The Alien is these longing and desires exist but they can’t be found here in this world so that must mean I was made for another world.

So, the longing and desire for these little g gods they are good, but they need be redeemed. Your desire for knowledge is good, your desire for money is good, your desire for power is good, your desire for pleasure and sex is good, your desire for community and status is good but all need to be put in its proper place.

The desire exists for a reason, but sin has crept into this world and into us and has made these good things bad things. These things are good, but they just make terrible gods. We have chosen to worship creation instead the creator. The next couple weeks we are going to be diving into each of them and showing how Jesus satisfies these desires. Why you were made not for this earth but for the new havens and new earth. Why you are truly an alien on a journey.

Week 2: Wisdom: is not something we seek but a person we seek.

Week 3: Money: We think money is going to answering our deep desire.

Deep idols: Influence and power, Approval and acceptance, Security, and control. Love and belonging.

Week 4: Power: We assume that power is good, and we need never stopping to ask how I am wheeling power and get the power I have.

Week 5: Pleasure: We think pleasure is going to come from the things of this world but it’s not. We think better vacation, better sex, drugs are the solution. But its not. Satisfaction is not found in created things but in God himself.

Week 6: Work: You get the job then what? Rather we don’t work for this world but for God.

David Foster Wallace

Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship … is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough … Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you … Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is … they’re unconscious. They are default settings.

Introduction:

If I only had Community, then my life would be better. If I was only friends with so and so, then my life would be better. If only I had a group of friends as close as the friends on that Tv show.

Friends, Seinfeld, Big Bang, The 70’s show, Outer banks or if your anything like me it’s LOTR.

We all think friendship is the solution to a lot of problems and issues.

The deep longing of the heart.

Deep idols: Influence and power, Approval and acceptance, Security, and control. Love and belonging.

We think that if were friends with that one person we would finally be accepted we would finally get the approval we so desperately desire.

Or

We are finally going to be loved and feeling the sense of belonging that we have never had.

What happens is if we are lucky, we go on the journey of the dreamer. We find those friends we climb the social ladder and then we quickly realize it is never going to happen.

For myself I went on this journey. When I was in middle school, I was loser. I had ADD Dyslexia and speech impediment. On top of all that I had achene. I didn’t know how to read till 8th grade. So, when I got to high school, I was ready to become popular.

I wanted to desperately to feel accepted and loved.

I high school I did it. I became popular. Dated the popular girls my friends with everyone. I was on the chess team and anime club al while being a party boy and be best friends with quarterback.

My 8th grade self was proud of what I had done. But I still didn’t feel loved or accepted. So, then I went where everyone in my position goes.

LA. The city where everyone goes to find belong and acceptance. The city of Angels.

When I was there, I hung out with celebrities which if you know me at all I will quickly tell you about all the famous people I met and hung out with.

What I saw there were all the cliché. That they are just as lost and searching as I was. The only difference I had that they didn’t was that I was a Jesus follower.

Solomon as we say every week is the top G. He has experienced in his time and day the highest level someone could reach. We see his thoughts here in ECC 4v7-12

Solomon is not tearing this one down but rather reinforcing it and saying how great this one is.

The Text

Verse 7-8 Look beyond ourselves

7 I observed yet another example of something meaningless under the sun. 8 This is the case of a man who is all alone, without a child or a brother, yet who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then he asks himself, “Who am I working for? Why am I giving up so much pleasure now?” It is all so meaningless and depressing.

Solomon is saying in the simplest of ways is what the point of money if you have no one to share it with?

I think of the classic A Christmas Carol Ebenezer Scrooge. He had all that money but no one to share it with. That made him a Zombie. He was dead. Not that excited about living but just the work itself.

We often when we are working is that we are not working for ourselves but for others. If we focus on ourselves in every aspect of what we do, we are constantly going to be disappointed. If we are focus on self-satisfaction, we are going to be disappointed.

Let me flesh this out. One of my great joys is making others day. I love cooking a meal for people on my trigger and giving them a nice piece of steak and seeing the look on their face. Now I do enjoy the steak, but I love the joy it brings the other person.

I love going to a restaurant with someone who hasn’t been there, and they taste the food for the first time and then it became their favorite restaurant.

When we are looking to bless others that is one of the great joys in life. Have you ever wanted something and then you mention and that friends goes out to get it for you. It makes your whole week.

What one the things Solomon is saying is that we are made to look at other not ourselves.

Verse 9-11 We go further Together.

Ec 4:9–11. 9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone?

What Solomon is saying that we go further together. The is universally true and doesn’t need much breaking down.

Two heads are better than one.

Projects get done better and faster with Help.

Verse 12 Emotional help.

Ec 4:12. A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Friends are there for the storms of life. We will talk more about it next week of the practical of emotional health and friendship during that.

There is a lot of profoundness in this passage but we will touch on all this at then end.

The Problem

There is a lot to say about community and the lack of it in todays cultural. This is one of the things that has gripped me and making me stew and think the most about it.

Looking at society today and people in the younger generation there is all kinds of problems.

The biggest one I see is loneliness. A lot of stats and studies all back this up. We as people are more isolated than ever. Covid only made this worse.

Why is this the case?

Practical reasons.

Outside (Society)

The Death of the Third Place.

What is the third place? The first place is where you live, the second is where you work, and the third space is your home away from home.

A place where you can pop in and out with little or no money; as a result, social hierarchy is left at the door, and all are equal, allowing for unexpected but delightful professional mingling— a CEO and a street performer can be seen chatting over drinks, while a fashion designer and a mechanic share a laugh at the bar.

Third spaces have always existed for as long as history can go.

Examples:

Ancient: Alexander the Great saw the need of third space in his conquest. He establishes three types, Gyms, Theater and Schools.

Europe: Bars, coffee shops parks and museums

Now: like cafes, clubs, bars, libraries, churches, parks, plazas, barber shops, and other spaces

Sociologist like Ray Oldenburg started to see the death of third spaces and started raising the alarm bells.

I think the issues is not in urban planning, although I wish we would have more walking cities then driving cities.

The problem lies with us.

Inside (Ourselves)

We often complain and say the problem is out there with other people and not with me.

The problem is with us not with city plan, not with these third spaces not doing there job with us as people.

The rise of technology. Has made us more connected then ever but also more isolated.

When was the last time you were at a coffee shop and started up a conversation?

Or at a grocery store.

As a pastor I hear a lot of complaints from people. A lot of them right and some of the are wrong. Meaning some complaints are valid and we need to improve stuff. But other are wrong.

People come to church looking for community most of the time. Sometimes they are coming for the worship and for the preacher. Those get them in the door but really get people to say is community.

People say things like this.

· I wish they were a more welcoming church.

· Why does nobody talk to me?

· Nobody invites me over for dinner.

We need to quite throw stones at what everyone else isn’t doing and ask ourselves what are we doing?

When you come to church are showing up late and leaving early? Are you going and talking to people? Have you invited someone to dinner?

You might be saying well I’m introvert I don’t do that. That’s not who I am. Get out of your comfort zone. Quiet being so selfish.

You can still be an invert and find community. My wife is an introvert, and she connects with people. Introvert doesn’t mean you are lonely it simply means when I’m drained of energy, I need to go be alone and that is how I recharge not I don’t talk to people.

Solution if you feel socially awkward. Is everyone feels awkward.

Ask a lot of questions. That is how you are going to connect with someone.

Have a list of question you ask them.

This is the big point to the message and what Solomon was getting at.

Conclusion

We as Humans were created for relationships. That it’s not something that we came to love but rather it goes down to creative core of who we are.

It’s not like our love for chocolate. Chocolate is great but it not to our creative core. Or Coffee.

Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him”

It is how God created us is for community. That we should have campions in life. Be fruitful and multiply is another creation mandate for us.

Even though we are created to be in community that is not the solution. We could have the best and greatest community yet still feel so lonely.

MGK “Lonely, lonely, even when the room is full”

Having a lot of friends being surrounded by people we can still feel so lonely.

We were created for Relationship with God.

The gospel is not just a slogan. But also the story of the entire bible. The Gospel is that we are friends of God. We who were once enemies of God. We are not just his servants but his friends.

This is the story of the bible. Us going from enemies to us becoming friends of God.

Ex 33:11. Thus the Lordused to speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend.

How does this happen? Jesus. That God stepped down put on human flesh. Died a death in our place as a substitute. Through that death and resurrection, he then ascends and sent his spirit to dwell in us.

We are now the friends of God. We are created for relationship with each other yes.

But we are also created ultimately for relationship with him.

God is a God who wants relationship so badly that he sent his own son to die to have it.

God does not need it. God wasn’t lonely before he created us nor was, he bored. He was perfectly content.

He created for his joy and his good pleasure.

God by his nature is relational God. Just as he is powerful, he is just as much a relational God.

Let me leave you with this.

You can have the greatest friend group in the world. The greatest community ever. Yet still feel alone. Why.

You were created fro relationship with him. God needs to become your friend.

Jn 15:12–17. 12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. 17 These things I command you, so that you will love one another.